Three 3 and Under---Pace of Living

One big blessing of having 3 little ones, is that the pace of living has changed for us. Don't get me wrong, there are still endless chores to do and I still stay plenty busy keeping up with all of their needs, but I have found that our life has become a bit simpler and slower-paced.

For example, I believe that others' expectations of us have changed during this stage. We are getting far fewer invites to playdates and outings. We can't always make it to our evening committments and don't have to feel guilty about it. The folks at church aren't asking me to commit to any new roles and in fact are asking if I'm sure I can still be in charge of the nurseries (something I can still easily do), and the doctor's office is wonderful about scheduling my kids' appointments all together so that I can "kill two birds with one stone."

My expectations of myself have changed too. While my house is much neater than it was when I was pregnant and I now have energy and motivation to cook nice meals, I feel less pressure to have my house perfect when visitors drop by. After all, if the visitor has 3 kids, then they will be understanding of the toy messes and if they don't have 3 kids they will merely assume, rightly so, that when you have 3 kids you are too busy to clean everything all the time! I have given myself more grace as a mother of 3 since I have few friends with 3 kids to compare myself and my house to!

Instead of planning out an ambitious schedule for myself, I have cut back on my own expectations of what I can realistically accomplish and have proposed to stay home more. Does this mean we'll NEVER get out? Of course not! Does this mean that our schedule and habits won't change in several months or a year? Of course not! But when one has a nursing baby who needs lots of cuddling and attention, it is only common sense to cut back on errands, shopping, and outings. The fact that it takes a lot of effort to get out and about makes me deeply consider whether or not we really need to get out. Will the effort of going to the park be worth the amount of energy the kids will expend there? Can I possibly squeak by another couple of days without milk and substitute powdered milk in things? What creative concoction can I come up with for lunch instead of running to the store or my favorite local sub shop? Instead of going to the thrift shop to "look around" I won't go with 3 unless I absolutely need something. Instead of trying to take all 3 to Safeway, I will wait until my hubby is home and go once a week in the evening for a much more peaceful shopping trip. (The other grocery store in town is more kid-friendly so I took the kids there the other day and it was fine.) Instead of using outings to entertain my active kids and get them out of a small apartment, I pull things out of the closet they haven't played with in a while.

Therefore, in spite of the fact that we have had added another lil' one to the family, the pace of life has changed for the better. His tiny presence in the home reminds us of the importance of family and home above other pursuits and activities. The many, many times Justus needs to be nursed in a day force me to sit down, relax, and read more stories to the other kids. With more time in the home, my dishes are caught up and I have time to prepare an elaborate supper. If I feel up to getting out I can take the kids to the park or on a walk but if I don't, I can take a nap with them!

I love having 3!