Someone Else

Today, in the midst of my exhaustion and feelings of being overwhelmed by the never ending tasks for a mom of little ones, I was reminded of what a blessing it is to be home with my children. I realize not everyone has that choice and that many of you who work are able to have a spouse or grandparent to watch your child, which is a blessing. These are just some letters to my kids, in thankfullness for being able to be with them. If you do work, I'm sure a lot of these thoughts have rambled through your head throughout the day as you hope your sitter is taking the best possible care of your kids when you aren't able to be with them.


My dear little boy,

As I lay on the ground, tickling you, watching your eyes dance with delight as you clutch your ever-present fistful of monster trucks and racecars, I can't help but wonder, If someone else was watching you today, would they marvel at your giggles? Would they take the time to answer your pleas for tickling? Would you be begging them for a hug and if you did, would they comply fifty times a day? What if I had missed you "reading" your favorite book and singing "Skid-a-ma-rinky-dink-a-dink" in your funny little way of talking without pronouncing your R's? Would the sitter have the instinct to see what you were up to when there was a minute of silence? Would they be as diligent or as worried about you getting into the street or drowning? Would a sitter realize how adorable you are?



My darling baby boy,

If you were not in my arms today, would you be tenderly cuddled? Would anyone kiss your triple chin or share a hundred smiles with you? Would you be endlessly entertained by older siblings who adore you or stuck in a room full of only infants? Would you miss the adoring gaze of a mommy who is utterly in love with you? Would anyone have the time to sing you your favorite songs or play peek-a-boo? Would anyone notice you grabbing your toes or that you rolled over? Would you miss your mama's milk and looking into my eyes as you drink your bottle?


My precious little lady,

If you were in another's care all day, would you be afraid to be yourself or would you be chattering about your day like you do with me? Would anyone understand the little quirks you have and how you like things "just so?" I loved your beautiful smiles as you took pride in making pretty pictures with paints today and the way you always help with your brothers! Would anyone notice the funny way you throw birthday parties every day, all day, with your brother and sing in a lovely, little voice? Would someone care enough to see that you got assistance wiping in the bathroom, or see that you ate your lunch before being allowed to have a treat? Would your caretaker review your verses with you, know who's prayer day it was, play princesses with you or be able to fix your hair? Would anyone notice if other kids were teaching you naughty things or hurting you or vice versa? Would anyone take the time to teach you right and wrong and train you in character?

Some folks wonder if I'm throwing away my dreams and goals to be at home. What they don't realize is that my wildest dreams came true in all of you. Even if someone else took care of your little needs throughout the day, my heart would be crying to do those things for you and I would miss you infinitely. And no matter how wonderful or sweet a person might be who would take care of you, no one loves you like I do.

Lucky?

This post today, from Crystal at www.biblicalwomanhood.com/blog really hit home for me as a Stay-at-Home mom. You know from past "hot button" discussions here that I've heard comments about how staying home is boring and unfulfilling. Other ladies have said, "I could NEVER do it" as though it were too tough or challenging for them. And yes, like Crystal, I've heard lots of comments about how lucky I am to be a stay-at-home mom. But does luck really have anything to do with it?

Crystal writes:

I don't stay home with my girls because I'm lucky; I stay home because it's what God has called me to. God has entrusted me with two precious daughters to mother, nurture, train, and raise.There are plenty of other jobs out there--many with better hours and better pay. But no one else can take my place of being Kathrynne and Kaitlynn's mommy. And my husband and I are committed to make whatever sacrifices it takes to keep me home.It's not always easy but the sacrifices are very worth it.

It is truly a blessing to be able to stay home and one I don't ever want to take for granted, knowing not all women have that option. But conviction and planning would be better words to use than luck regarding WHY I'm a stay-at-home mom. One gal I used to work with was so jealous of the fact that I was quitting my job at the end of my first pregnancy. She would always make comments about the fact that she wished she could stay home too. I asked her if she had specifically looked for a husband who believed in stay-at-home moms and if she had married a man who desired that for his family. NO! Had she made wise financial choices and learned to be frugal wherever necessary in order to make her dream of being a stay-at-home mom a reality? I don't know, but most young women don't. Did she believe it was God's plan for her and trust that He would provide for them in order to make it on one income? I know I did, and He has! (The great thing is that now just a few years later my former co-worker is able to be a stay-at-home mom and I'm so happy for her!)

So, the next time someone throws out, "You are soooooo lucky to be able to stay home," perhaps instead of just nodding, I will stay instead, "Luck has nothing to do with it! We believe it's God's plan for our family and we watch Him provide and we live on a very tight budget in order to make it happen!"

Staying Home

The kids proudly show off their visors with bug stickers on them. These were their prizes for completing the reading program at the library this summer!


I overheard some ladies talking at swimming lessons today. One gal is about mid-fifties and works at a local public school. The other gal is about 40-45 and is due with her second child in less than 2 weeks and also works at that same school as a school psychologist. The first one was asking how much maternity leave the pregnant one had and saying she would miss her at work for the month of September. She made some comment about how the preggo mom would be "sitting at home enjoying herself" and then the preggo mom said, "It'll be so nice to get back to work. It's been nice having the summer off to do stuff and it's nice 'cause we can get out in the summer a lot but I couldn't be at home all fall and winter long. I'd go crazy. I have to work."



There I sat, feeling a little miffed and a little amused as I listened. These ladies, so typical of our culture, think being at home is "boring, unfulfilling, menial, and basically being lazy!" I chuckled to think how much work this mom will actually be doing once she has two little ones instead of just one to care for. I'm surprised to hear her talk about how her neighbor will be watching the kids all year, 40 hours a week, and how it's no big deal for her to drop her new, 2-month old off for the day and head off to work. I personally know the gal who watched her 2.5 year old daughter last year and I know that SHE was investing in this little girl as well as her own 3 kids and other babysitting charges, taking her to library, helping her go potty, running errands with her, feeding her, and watching her hit all the milestones while her mom was working.



How sad it is to see what a low opinion the world has of full-time mothers! I don't know about you all, but I'm certainly not bored and am busy as a bee! I think the sacrifices for staying home are infinitely worth it and that it's especially important in those early years. My parents drilled that into me as a kid. When my little brother would complain that we couldn't afford Nike shoes like his cousin wore my mom would say,"His mom works ALL THE TIME. You may not have name-brand shoes but you have a Mommy home with you all day." Years later, that cousin, who was raised by his Grandma and by daycare is now following in his mom's example by working all the time for material success and has a low view of family and marriage whereas my brother has forgotten about having Nikes and has followed my mom's example of pouring herself out for others as he evangelizes the lost in Honduras as a missionary.



While being a stay-at-home mom won't guarantee your children will be Christ-followers, I do believe it is a very, very important job with eternal significance and great fulfillment. While worldly women are chasing their own fulfillment in their careers and accomplishments, there are moms pouring themselves out to teach and to train their children in godliness and to "swim upstream" in our immoral culture. While there are days it might be overwhelming or days when we wonder if we will go crazy with screaming little ones or endless poopy bottoms, or days when going off to a job sounds nice, there are mostly days where I am so thankful that God has allowed me to be in this profession of full-time mommyhood because there is nothing I want to do more than this!





I guess I'd better finish this post so I can go put my feet up and eat Bon-Bons and watch soaps, after all, I'm a stay-at-home mom, isn't that what we do?

Devotions With My Kids

I've always wanted to make the most of these young, impressionable years to train my kids in the Lord. Sometimes it's hard to get into a working routine though. In the past I have used the book "Playtime Devotions" for the kids, which they absolutely love! It has rhymes and little ditties with hand motions. My friend Heather recommended it and our kids have almost all of the pages memorized!

In recent weeks this is what we've been doing:

• I quiz Ali from her new book I requested for her birthday from the grandparents. It's called "My First Book of Questions and Answers," by Carine MacKenzie. It's a training tool to teach kids about faith and the answers to the big questions. John and Noel Piper highly recommended it so of course that interested me! Ali has already worked her way up to question 9 in just a week or two. I wish I had learned catechisms as a kid!
• We read some from Proverbs and Mark.
• Sometimes we read a children's Bible story as well.
• We sing 4 hymns we are working on learning. Just the first line of the hymns. We also sing a few children's Bible songs that Ali loves, like the CEF song, "Just Turn Around" or "I've Got Joy Down in My Heart," etc.
• We pray for the needs in our family and for Mommy to have patience and for the kids to learn obedience today!

Of course this isn't the full extent of our training. There are meal time prayers, stories throughout the day, bedtime prayers, Sunday School, Children's Church, and times when I need to correct throughout the day and explain Biblical truths. But I think it's SO IMPORTANT to make spiritual training the biggest part of your child's day and have a regular time each day set aside for this. There will be days when I can't get everything on my schedule done and days when all I can manage is fast food and a dirty home. But as long as I have gotten the most important things done, teaching my kids about God, reading His Word with them, and helping my husband, that's all that counts!

What do you do to help train your children in the Lord?

Saving Time on Laundry

As I've been carting loads and loads of laundry back and forth to the laundry room (in the absolutely frigid hallway!) I have been thinking a lot about the pioneer gals who had it so much harder than we do. I sure am thankful we don't have to boil pots of water over a stove we have to keep stoking in order to do laundry. I'm thankful we don't have to rig up clotheslines in our tiny home in the winter (though we did do this back when we lived in a farmhouse without a dryer) and I am thankful I don't have to scrub all of the laundry by hand (especially cloth diapers and my husband's filthy work clothes). Thinking about laundry has made me realize how wasteful I can be in this area and how I can cut corners and save both time and resources on this big part of my life as a mom. If I was a pioneer woman, you can bet that one drip of milk on my dress wouldn't cause me to launder the whole thing! My kids would learn quickly to be more careful and put their bibs/aprons on before eating EVERY time! I would do a lot more spot-cleaning instead of full-fledged washing! Let's face it: Today, we Americans live a life of ease and comfort and we are extremely wasteful in so many areas. With another baby on the way who will no doubt contribute stacks to our laundry piles, here are some things I want to consider implementing:

*Wear an apron daily in the kitchen when cooking to preserve my dresses better

*In the winter, as it's not hot and sticky and I don't sweat, wear shirts for two days in a row if possible.

*Teach my daughter to stop changing her shirt every time there is a drip of water on it. Teach her to roll up her sleeves EVERY TIME she washes her hands to prevent wet sleeves!

*Make my skirts stretch 3 days of wearing instead of 2.

*Cut back to using one baby washcloth per day instead of 4-6 (for meal clean-up).

*Cut back on the number of clothes we have. The kids especially, thanks to endless hand-me-downs from folks at church, have way more clothes than they need. If I cut down to the essentials I have less sorting and putting away and less to store and manage.

We already:

*Each have a bath towel which we hang on our hook and use for the whole week

*Launder sheets only about once a month unless someone has an accident

*Try to save pajamas for at least a few night's wearings before washing

*Have certain clothes for certain occasions. Play clothes, work clothes, paint shirts, very fancy church outfits, etc.

Cloth diapers add very little extra laundry for me since I rinse thoroughly and just wash them with the kids' regular clothing. They save so much and save on garbage output too!

My goal for this year is to learn to either make laundry detergent or find a very cost-effective, but more natural, laundry detergent. We don't like the overpowering scents in most laundry detergents and I want to use something that is biodegradable and "green."

Of course with kids, there will always be plenty of laundry. Even my best attempts at re-wearing clothes may fail as I get spit up on, leak milk, get wet on, or get covered in strained baby carrots or throw-up. But if I am consciously trying to conserve in the area of clothing, it will no doubt end up saving me time and money!

Time Savers

I'm always looking for time savers so I welcome you to add your own favorite "Time Savers" to the list of ideas I'm compiling here.

Ideas for Saving Time:

*When my kids are taking a bath I usually try to scrub the toliet, clean the shower walls or straighten things on the vanity.
*I don't fold underwear! Why take the time when no one sees it and it takes up lots of time? Instead my daughter is trained to cart off the undie piles to the various owner's bins or drawers.
*Cook two meals at once. This week I made an elk roast in the crock pot for our favorite casserole, "Plowman's Share." I made twice the amount of rice and roast so that I could use the roast later this week for BBQ sandwiches and the rice for tonight's meal, Sherry Chicken.
*I prefer clothing bins over drawers. We still have a few dressers, but my goal is to weed out our dressers and instead just use attractive, cloth-lined baskets to hold all of our clothing in our closets. Bins make things much faster when you are putting stacks of clothing away. Dressers are nice for some things, but for my main clothes I like the bin idea. My daughter can choose her own clothes and pajamas out of the bins too.
*When watching a movie I try to clip coupons, mend, or do another mindless project.
*When talking on the phone do some cleaning or picking up.
*Clump your errands together so you can get a bunch done at the same time on the same side of town and save yourself the gas and time of going out multiple times.
*Make up a big pot of pregnancy tea or ginger tea and store in a pitcher so that I don't have to brew a cup a couple of times a day. I can't tell you how many times King Jo has "accidentally" grabbed a glass, thinking it was apple juice and gone, "Uhhhggg!" (He thinks P. Tea tastes like hay--which it does since it's made from alfalfa!)
*Cook several pounds of hamburger at once and freeze in 1 lb. portions. I also do this with beans. Make a couple of pounds at once and then freeze. This will save both time and heating energy.

I'm sure there are lots more ideas I use that I can't think of right now. So, please help me out and contribute to my Time Saving List!

Saving Time in the Kitchen

Every homemaker with children will find herself with more to accomplish than she can seemingly do in a day. Which is why I find myself intensely interested in time-saving techniques. This week I was able to pull off some time-saving techniques that allowed me to bless others. I had an ambitious day on Monday (those are sooooo rare for me right now!) and so I made cheddar-chive breadsticks in the bread machine as well as making chocolate-chip cookies for Bible Study. Both recipes made more than we can eat, and in my current state, I usually don't feel like eating tomorrow what sounded good today. It was wonderful that both items were able to stretch for the folllowing purposes:

Cookies:

1. Bible Study

2. Our family's personal enjoyment (especially for this mama who had been craving them!)

3. A bag went into the freezer that I will pull out later this week to put in a Care Basket for one of my aunties who is having surgery

4. A bag went to a friend the following evening (I provided a meal for her since she had a new baby)

5. A bag went to my brother who also got a meal the following day (since he's a 19-year old bachelor who would rather spend his money on bikes and car repairs then on food, I told him for his birthday gift this year he would get a few one-man-size home-cooked meals delivered to him)

Breadsticks:

1. Went with our quick-fix ravioli supper

2. Lunch leftovers for the next day

3. Some went to my friend as part of her meal package

4. Some went to my brother as part of his meal

The following day I was able to make a very large pot of homemade mac n' cheese (my friend's all-time favorite comfort food) and a Heart-Attack Potatoes Casserole. It all stretched to feed our family, my friend's family, my too-skinny bachelor brother, and we had lunch leftovers the next day!

Sometimes people get overwhelmed at the thought of providing food/meals for other people. All it takes is a little bit of advance planning. I knew what I would be making a week ago when I bought my week's worth of groceries and got all the ingredients (almost all of which was on sale) and had a plan in mind to make it all go smoothly. Finding out what the family enjoys is crucial. I was all prepared to have to cook a gourmet meal and stress over it and spend a day in the kitchen and then she told me all she wanted was homemade mac n' cheese!

I was glad it was simple since at this point in my life it's hard to just function normally and keep my food down! (Yes, even with Unisom I'm still somewhat queasy and always extremely tired!) The best part was that is just worked out that my Mother's Helper was here the night I was doing the dinners for people so she was able to entertain the kids while I cooked and feed them while I quickly delivered the meals! Have I mentioned how much I love having a Mother's Helper?

Any one else have any tips this week for saving time when it comes to domestic chores?

God is So Good

I'm a big proponent for stay-at-home moms! After all, I AM one and was raised by one. Some people look down on me or give me the impression they think I'm either lazy, unmotivated, or just plain spoiled (I've gotten, "I wish I had the luxury of staying home!") I know women who have no choice to work, either because their husbands push it or it's the only way that they can keep their kids fed and my heart goes out to them. I also have many friends who CHOOSE to work and I don't always know their motivations and therefore shouldn't judge them. It's their choice and their family and I love them even if they are doing something different from me.



However, back to my main point: Because I believe that being a stay-home mommy is the best choice for one's kids and God's original plan for the family, I believe that God BLESSES it abundantly when a mother makes that choice in a world where almost no one stays home anymore. I'm not making an across-the-board statement that all stay-at-home moms are wonderful because there are some who are lazy, resentful, bored, or selfish with their kids. I'm also not saying that you will never be blessed if you are a working mother. A dual-income family will often have more financial resources to pay down debt, spend more, go on nicer vacations, etc. I'm not saying I never make money either because I have done things to bring in a little extra income (writing articles for Associated Content, raking leaves, babysitting, cleaning for my mom, etc.) What I am saying is this: When you follow God's design, He is faithful.



My mom always used to explain to me that it was because of God's provision that she was able to be at home for us. Almost everything she needed at the grocery store each week "just happened" to be on sale. The Lord provided meat for us through my Dad's elk hunting and trading local ranchers the furniture he builds for a beef. My mom gardened and canned. She was frugal! Staying home meant that both of my parents sacrificed and worked toward that goal as of primary importance in their family life.



Since becoming a stay-at-home mom myself I have watched in awe as God has opened the storehouses of heaven for us. This is not to say we have no lack of funds or wants. We've lived in small apartments most of our married life and can't eat out very often. We drive older vehicles and our vacations consist of cross-country trips to visit family. But we've always been taken care of and all of our needs have been met. With each child God has given us King Jo has received a raise or a higher-paying job when we wondered how we could possibly make ends meet for another family member. God led us to the option of homebirth before we had full maternity coverage and He gave me the strength through it, saving us $10,000! I actually prefer it to hospital birth!



Just today at the grocery store God again confirmed for me that I am exactly where He wants me to be and I love my "job" and would never trade it for any other. Thanks to a tip at Money Saving Mom I ran to Safeway this morning and got paid 55 cents to buy 12 large boxes of Cheese Nips! Unbelievable! I used a 55 cent Nabisco coupon and they were on a sale for $1 a box and if you buy 6 you get $6 off. I also decided to splurge and get some Organic Pretzels which were on clearance and some organic frozen veggies that were on sale. (I'm making an effort to eat more organic, especially produce and milk). It turns out they rang up even cheaper than I had originally thought! I also snagged an adorable teddy bear marked 75% off ($1.75) to throw in my gift bag for a baby shower gift. Everything pictured here (plus two more bananas which my kids were eating when I took this photo) for $7.76! Maybe this seems goofy to you, and I'm sure some snicker at the fact that I take pictures of my groceries but whenever these "little things" happen for me, I see the hand of my Father at work, reminding me that He is taking care of us. Even though the price of groceries continually skyrockets and my kids seem to do nothing but eat, ALL THE TIME, He is faithful! To top it all off, my dad swung by my house and saw all the crackers and was so amazed, he offered to buy two boxes for $1 since he likes them too. So, I got paid $1.55 on this deal and got 10 boxes of crackers! Keep your eyes peeled for great deals, they are out there!



To answer those critics of at-home mommies:

Lazy? I've NEVER worked a harder job in my life! There are few if any breaks for years on end and the task is of infinite importance. Mommies are shaping and training immortal souls!


Unmotivated or wasting my brain? I've NEVER been as inspired and challenged in my creativity as I am now! I've never enjoyed a job so much!


Suppressed? I've NEVER had so much freedom to order my days according to the tasks/activities I want to accomplish with my kids.

Not reaching out enough? I can think of several people I've shared the Gospel with this month through my words and actions, have you? There is no end to the opportunities I have with my neighbors and non-Christian mom friends to be a light.



Spoiled? Our family lives on less income than most of our friends. We are technically considered "poverty level" if you look at the numbers. We survived on one income back when King Jo only made $9 (before taxes) an hour. When the time comes for us to buy or build a home, I'm sure God will provide for us then too. We sacrifice many of the things people take for granted so that I can stay at home. We don't eat out often, we don't have cell phones, cable TV (or any TV channels), high speed internet, and don't pay for professional hair-cuts. Coming into the marriage with the goal of staying home in mind, we made careful choices. It didn't just happen; it takes lots of effort. We aren't just "rolling in money!" *l*




This post isn't intended to be a debate on working or staying home. It's not intended to offend those who choose to work. It's a personal testimony of how I see God at work in our lives, taking care of our needs. I'd rather not start a big debate because I already know where I stand on this issue!

*Just when you thought our pantry couldn't possibly hold any more crackers Jesse! (He teased me about the last couple of cracker deals where I got 20 boxes of Simple Socials for $4 and 6 boxes of Wheat Thins for $2!)*

Who's the Boss?

Who exactly is a stay-at-home mom's boss? I know many of you will immediately jump in with, "Her husband!" Of course God has planned for the husband to be the wife's authority and we are to be our husband's helper. But, I don't think of him as my boss necessarily because he doesn't dictate what I need to do each day and lay it all out for me and check up on me, etc. I think I'm blessed in this area because I definitely wouldn't want to have a hubby like that!

Of course God is my main boss in the sense that I belong to Him and desire to do His will and please Him each day. His Spirit should be our Master and Guide for all things.

Yet, when I think of who bosses me around all day in the traditional sense of bossing, I'd have to say that I, Mrs. Jo, am my own boss, and boy am I ruthless at times! That inner drive to get stuff done, be productive, do important tasks, keep my kids alive and healthy and clean, have others think well of me, etc. sure does push me onward so that every hour of every day is filled to the brim! I do have days, like every mom, where I just want to leave my pjs on for a long time and kind of be lazy and relax a bit. But most days, I have my agenda, whether in my head or on my index cards, and I'm racing to complete my self-appointed tasks throughout the day, only alloting myself certain quick breaks, and going late into the night. I do take time for blogging (obviously), for my friends, reading, and crafts in addition to the endless daily tasks of serving my family. I just wish there were more hours in a day sometimes, but of course God knew what He was doing in only giving us so many minutes in each day and designing us to need rest.

I also have a couple of little people around all day, every day who would like to think they are my bosses. Maybe it's wishful thinking on my part to say that they really aren't! One is very vocal about this in words, "Mommy, can you get me a snack NOW! Mommy, where is my shoe? I have to go potty, come wipe me!" and the other doesn't even think words are necessary as long as he yells or cries loud enough, "Waaah (Ali stole my toy, rescue me!) Grrr (I'm hungry and I want food now!) WWWWWWWWWWAHHHHHHHHH!!!! (Get me up out of my crib or else......)."

The Little Things that Broke the Mama's Back

A Stay-at-home mom probably won't lose it because of the kids. She probably won't be utterly exhausted by cleaning the bathroom alone. What she will probably break from is the little demands that add up to an enormous load.
You see, many people who haven't ever been at-home moms will assume that it's an easy job. They will assume that you are bored, lazy, unmotivated, and definitely "have the time" to do various things for them. They will sweetly request little things of you, never knowing that they are the 60th person to demand a little favor or little chunk of time from you that week, or even that day! Now, don't get me wrong, I love the extra time I have to be available for people and to serve them and minister to them. I love the fact that I can sew little gifts to bless people, cook things for church functions, babysit a friend's child when an emergency comes up, etc. Almost NO ONE in today's world is available and that's one of the best parts of being a stay-home mom. My mom was always available for us and always ready to listen to our chatter about our school day, was home if we got sick at school, etc. The other day my younger bro called me and I think it was mainly because he was lonely and knew that I WAS HOME! It was really cool, especially since he's often angry with me (he's not a believer). I think AVAILABILITY is one of the best parts of being in the home.

However, this availability causes many to try to take advantage of that. Earnest, honest people calling for favors or help. A lady from Bible Study asking, "Can you bring treats?" Not a big deal, but this is the 4th church/social event you've been asked to provide a treat for this week. Someone asking you to sub in a ministry role at church. Not a big deal, but what if you've missed the last few Sunday worship services because you were serving behind the scenes? A neighbor asks for a tiny favor (which with our neighbors is usually not at all tiny). Because I speak Spanish, I've ordered countless pizzas for them, the two different families insurances, and Satellite TV. We loaned them tools, helped them with their cars, loaned them the mixer so many times I wanted to buy them one, babysat their kids many times, etc. Some other people in my life who are very close to me are notorious for asking "little" favors. They don't have a camera, so I need to not only take all their photos for them, but also e-mail them to different people and/or have them printed off online. They also ask me to order stuff for them online, take care of their animals when they're out of town, go to the Post office, etc. You know people are getting a little co-dependant when they can't wait for you to return from vacation and show up with chocolate bars on your doorstep. Other people assume that because I'm home all day, I should be able to chat endlessly about aimless things. For this reason, I have to screen calls and limit any phone conversations unless the kids are in bed.

I guess my point in all this rambling is that we who are stay-at-home moms have a VERY demanding and challenging job and we need to learn the art of saying no. If you have little ones, your job of keeping them safe, fed, clean, and alive is enough to keep you overly busy all day and every day without extra demands from others. It's hard for me to say no to worthy causes, but so necessary to my emotional well-being and the structure of my family. If people think I'm mean, stingy, or lazy, then they obviously don't know me and why should I care what they think of me if I'm being faithful to God?
When you do say no to the good, you free yourself up to be available to help with what's BEST. What's best might be assisting your husband with a major project, reading lots of stories to your children, or spending time in prayer with other moms for your kids.

It is so scary in our churches today how being busy in the ministry is a really good thing and applauded by all but being busy at home is looked down upon. I tend to have the opposite view. If someone is involved in 5 different ministries in the church, I tend to pity their family and wonder what they are sacrificing for their involvement. I know there are many woman who must work full-time for their families to be able to eat, but if they are also involved in major ministry committments and have children too, they are probably incredibly stressed and who would want to live like that? I heard a Hamburger Helper commercial on the radio the other day where a mom said she was a full-time schoolteacher and a girl's basketball coach but her family was her first priority (and that's why she fed them Hamburger Helper.) Personally, I wouldn't feed Hamburger Helper to anyone, but I found it humerous that she would spend about 9 hours at work, 2-3 hours at basketball practice and maybe one hour with her kids if she was lucky, and then have the nerve to say that they were her first priority!
I can't tell you how much I admire women who refuse to be involved in too many things because they are focused on their family and home-life. I can't tell you how much it shocks me to hear people in my church demanding that busy women get busy and do more.
There is a desperate need in our churches today to have a Biblical view of marriage and family life. I refuse to have a frazzled, stressed family that can never sit down to eat together for the sake of "doing ministry" and can't do family devotions because they're always at church functions in the evenings. I refuse to please the continual stream of people asking for favors if it compromises my commitment to my family.

I Hope She Says No

My husband values and understands the role of a stay-at-home mom, and for this I am so glad. When I mentioned to him that a certain board in our church is targeting another mom for ministry roles, he said, "I hope she says no!" Why would he hope that someone declines a chance to serve God in their local church? Because this lovely and sweet lady has 4 children 7 and under and is already serving a little bit in spots like nursery and children's church. She has also expressed to me that her gifts and passions lie more in adult/counseling ministry. My husband recognizes that your family is your first ministry, and that sometimes the most godly thing you can do when someone asks you to teach Sunday School is say, "no."

A Home of our Own (Someday!)

Sometimes I get to thinking about a home of our own. I can't wait to plant a fancy garden with all kinds of herbs, vegetables and fruits (if they'll grow!) I can't wait to decorate and paint and make my home a haven of beauty and rest. A place where the children can run freely outside and have plenty of room in the house to stay out from under my feet. It gets tiring to share one washer and dryer among 17 people, even though I have the advantage being the only stay-home adult here. It gets tiring to always be the only one raking and doing yard work only to see the neighbor kids constantly littering garbage all over and using our outdoor chairs and swing roughly. It does get difficult with the noise and lack of privacy in these close quarters. At times I get very, very claustrophobic since we only have one window in our whole apartment that leads to the outside (the rest show into the pantry or breezeway in front) and our A/C unit is in it!
When I'm starting to get discontent I have to remember the little farm house we first lived in when we moved here a couple of years back. There were mice (my deathliest thing I'm afraid of!) and it was ice cold in the winter and oh so lonely out there with only the cows and a long drive into town. We had much more work to do with chopping wood and stoking fires for heat and we had to ration water. Living in a clean, warm, mice-free apartment that's only 2 blocks from our bank and grocery store isn't so bad! While my neighbors can be overly "present" in our lives, I am thrilled when they come over bearing tamales or flautas or the latest thing they've cooked. I have gotten them to babysit on a moment's notice in a pinch and their company and their culture is refreshing. Who else's neighbors in America today have time to sit outside in the evenings and chat?

I have learned to be very disciplined about getting my laundry done at a certain time when the facilities aren't in use and I have learned to set boundaries and be strict with the neighbor kids which I know they respect me for. While we are outgrowing this tiny place, I think if I succeed at keeping this place clean and homey I can do it just about anywhere! I'm thankful that we have a space of our own, however humble, because it is more than most people have. We don't have to pay when the water heater breaks down or the plumbing goes awry, and we can use as much water as we want since it comes free with the rent. We have lived in a dark, dank, cold, and strangely decorated basement in a very rough town durning our summer as missionary interns and nothing could be more depressing than that! So, I will cheerfully enjoy these days here until God leads us to the next dwelling. I rejoice in the friendships I've made here that might make an eternal difference in my Mexican neighbor's lives and I am thankful to be sheltered from the hot western sun!

What I Do, Part 2

What do I do ALL DAY LONG?

I mostly CLEAN!!! These pictures tell it all. Multiply these messes by a hundred and you have an idea of what I do every day! By the way, I didn't tell my toddler to do this with her play dough. She figures stuff like this out on her own. I'm so thankful for Magic Eraser!

What I Do

Can any of you moms relate to the feeling that you are running but not going anywhere? For instance, I scrubbed the floor with vinegar today because I couldn't stand the constant crumbs and stickyness. I sweep about 3-4 times a day on average. About 1 hour after I had scrubbed the floor there were crumbs all over it. Then a couple of hours later, my toddler was covered in black refried beans, and thus so was much of the floor. I do dishes only to see a stack appear again instantly. I do laundry only to have my little one wet on me or have to change both kids' outfits 4 times a day. The stack never seems to end. I pick up toys and try to organize only to see the same toys littering the floor seconds later. I feel like I'm busy ALL day long doing things, but at the end of the day, there are still endless messes to clean up and work to be done. I just have to keep PERSPECTIVE and realize that if my kids are alive today, I have accomplished a LOT! My kids' bottoms are dry and there is a delicious meal on the table. My husband has a warm and friendly place to come home to for lunch and after work where he is loved and where there are good things in the fridge because I've shopped. The lights and computer work because I mail the bills. My kids are happy to have their mommy's company and attention rather than a stranger's. My baby is growing out of all his clothes because of the milk my body makes and all of those continual feedings. I need to remember that even though it feels like I'll never catch up or get a day off, I'm doing the most important job in the world. I'm not only sustaining life for two very precious little beings, but I'm shaping immortal souls through the lessons that I teach and live.