Thursday, August 21, 2008

A Comparison of Birth Experiences

This post is not intended to be scientific or medical evidence to prove that one way of giving birth is better than another. It is to be read as "Mrs. Jo's personal experiences with 3 different methods of birthing," with the understanding that all women are different and will have different experiences in birth. One way of birth is not superior to another and I don't believe you are a better mom if you do it a certain way. I have not experienced a c-section but I so appreciate the women who have who shared with me their wisdom and encouragement when Justus was breech and it looked like I would have one!

WATER BIRTH

My Story
My waterbirth was amazing! Because I went into immediately after an all-day flu where I vomited and had diarrhea constantly, I was incredibly exhausted. I'm sure it would have been even more relaxing to be in the water if my body had been well and rested. The contractions felt twice as strong and painful when I would get out of the water to go to the bathroom. I couldn't wait to hop back into the birthing pool again. One mom of 3 who was a very crunchy granola gal told me that if I had a water birth I would NEVER want to go back to trying one out of water if possible. She was right! Because we moved to a state where there aren't any options for water birth, I wasn't able to have one with #2 but I sure wished I had! My labor with #1 was 15 hours total and of those hours I was in the water for about 11 hours. Can we say prune?

Benefits
If you are interested in a natural birth, I think water birth is totally the way to go! The water eases your muscles, allows you to move and flip around during a contraction to be most comfortable, and it helps ease the baby's coming out, preventing tears.

Most Painful Part:

Waterbirth is not pain-free and after Ali was born I still described the process as torturous and told my hubby we were going to adopt any future kids! The contractions were very close and very long the whole time and so it's hard to say if the contractions or the crowning was the worst part of it. By the time I was ready to push I was so ready for the pain to be over that I didn't care if I ripped my body to shreds; I had one goal and it was get the baby out with all my might! It was pretty painful to birth the placenta, which I did out of the water.

Emotions/Reaction to the birth:
Once the baby was out and in my arms I was able to marvel at her and enjoy holding her. I had expected it to be a big emotional moment but I was worn to an absolute frazzle after around 36 hours of no sleep, horrible pain, and exertion. I didn't cry and couldn't smile for the pictures with her.

Baby:
Ali was immediately alert and cried vigorously. She also had her eyes open very quickly and was looking around at us. Because it was a homebirth I believe she had the best experience of any of our babies as far as transitioning into the world since she wasn't stabbed and poked and examined like crazy as they do in the hospital. She nursed right away, and I was shocked at how painful it was!

Recovery:

I was quite sore and my body ached for about a week but after a week I felt great and pretty much back to normal except for lack of sleep.

Baby Blues:
My baby blues were pretty bad with Ali. I think the lack of sleep was the biggest contributing factor to this as I came out of the birth exhausted only to go into a week of almost no sleep and around-the-clock feedings. Being brand new parents we were more paranoid and less knowledgeable and so I cried and cried uncontrollably for a week straight! I cried over EVERYTHING and NOTHING! One night when King Jo worked on a friend's vehicle for several hours after work I cried for several hours thinking he had had an accident because he took longer than I thought he would. He would sometimes come home from work and find me sobbing in the shower and when he'd say goodbye in the morning, to go to work, I would cry without ceasing. My hubby only had 3 days with me (2 of those were Sat. and Sun.) before he had to go back to work and I was 1,000 miles away from my own mom so this probably contributed to my crazy emotions. I'm glad that after a week, my body leveled out and I got some sleep!

Overall, I'd say it was really cool to have a waterbirth. It's something unique and since I love swimming and take great comfort in warm water, it was a great thing for us. It was financially right for us at the time too since we didn't have insurance to cover having a baby in the hospital. It takes a lot of research, dedication, and emotional strength and preparation to have a natural water birth but it can be a beautiful experience!!!


Non-Medicated Birth or Natural Land Birth

My Story
Because I had given birth before, when I experienced my natural land birth I found that the contractions were different. I had heard that it gets much easier once you have had a baby and that pushing time is shorter and things supposedly go faster. My land birth was 11 hours total. It probably helped greatly that I didn't go into it after the flu. I remember thinking that it just didn't seem like real labor since my contractions never got closer than 7-10 minutes apart and weren't unbearably long or difficult to breathe through.


Most Painful Part:

The absolute worst part of my land birth was the exit of the baby. They call it a "ring of fire" in pregnancy books but my friend Lesley and I decided it should be called the "blowtorch from Hades" to be more accurate. Perhaps if we had had some warning he was coming and I had pushed for a long time, slowing moving him out, it would have been a bit less painful. Who knows? I never really had the urge to push. One minute I was on my hands and knees on the bed, experiencing the worst and longest contraction ever and the next minute I rolled onto my side and then back and he shot out in about 10 seconds.
Everything afterward was very painful too, from having to be checked "down there" to the placenta coming out, to the catheter they had to insert, etc. They also had to do lots of uterine massages (more like uterus-poundings) to get my uterus to contract down.

Emotions/Reaction to the birth:
I remember screaming at the top of my lungs, but my hubby said he didn't hear anything; perhaps my body's exertion muffled the scream that was inside of me. I remember thinking that no human being on the face of the earth should ever have to feel that much pain! After his exit, I remember seeing him for a minute and yet not really being able to absorb it. By the time they let me try to nurse him minutes later I was so weak and so traumatized by the pain that I couldn't even hold him and had them take him away. I felt like I was dying.

Recovery time:
I was very sore and hurting for at least a week. Due to excessive bleeding I was anemic and extra tired and had a bad, bad cold a few days after delivery. I bled for 8 weeks afterward.

Baby Blues:
Much less with #2. I had one episode of crying uncontrollably for 5 or 10 minutes in the hospital when the nurses were talking with me about Jer's check-up. They thought I was worried about him and in reality, I was just crying because of the hormones and exhaustion. I also had one melting down crying episode a few days later when a sweet gal from church brought a meal over. Because I broke down weeping in front of her (I was feeling overwhelmed with it all and caring for my hubby who had the flu and not having any help since my Mom was working at the time) the whole church ended up finding out we were "having a rough time of it" and volunteered lots of help and support.

Baby:
Jeremiah was alert and crying right away. Because he had had a rapid exit, he had a little fluid in his lungs so they put him on oxygen a tiny bit during that first day and watched his breathing as he had a little grunting stuff going on. He nursed right away.

Benefits:
Some say natural childbirth is the very best way to deliver for the baby's sake. Some prefer less interventions. It is nice to be able to move around and be in whatever position you want to be in. Natural childbirth is no doubt less expensive if you are having to pay cash for your birth, since you won't have to pay the fees for drugs/anesthesiologist, etc. Emotionally, one benefit of natural childbirth is the feeling that if you have done something that amazing and survived something that painful, then you can conquer the world!

Overall I would have to say that natural land birth is not something I want to ever experience again! I have NO CLUE how our grandmothers did it over and over and over and didn't die. Reading the story of Amy's 5th child's birth at one of my favorite blogs, www.humblemusings.com kind of re-inforced what I already know from experience: It's undergoing barbaric torture! If you are going to undergo it, you had better have a high pain threshold and really be geared up emotionally for it. I think all women should prepare themselves for a natural childbirth since sometimes drugs aren't an option, especially in quick labors. The best way to survive it is to concentrate on relaxation and deep breathing through the pain.


Medicated Birth


My Story
I recently shared my most recent birth story in 3 very lengthy posts. With baby #3, I was scared to death to have a natural childbirth as Jer is not quite 2 years old and the pain was still much too fresh in my mind. I was determined that I would try the pudendal block, like many of my friends, or possibly even the spinal or epidural. The more I talked to friends, the more I realized that the epidural didn't sound as bad as I had imagined it could be. Since I was constantly being shuffled around to different doctors and finding out my doctor was on vacation more often than not, I decided the epidural might be a better choice than a pudendal since very few pudendal blocks are done nowadays and I might end up with a doctor who didn't do them or didn't do them well. I had a 16 hour total labor, with the epidural being given about 3 hours before the delivery.
Most Painful Part:
Getting an IV in the hand was much more painful than getting the epidural catheter inserted. The most painful part of my labor was having my membranes stripped (before I got the epidural) and the cervical exams they did before the epidural kicked in. The contractions were getting quite painful around the time the epidural took effect. As far as pain related to the actual epidural, I will say that I had sharp, achey back pain the following day in my low back. I don't know if it was soreness from my worst contractions, which were centered there, or soreness from the epidural needle. It went away after a couple of days and was helped with Ibuprofen and massage.
While these weren't painful, the most inconvenient parts of having an epidural were: being hooked up to an IV and monitors the whole time and shaking for 2 hours as the epidural wore off as I was numb and tingly for the whole remainder of the evening, having to lay in bed and have someone fetch the baby for me. The ickiest thing about the epidural was having bowel movements without realizing it was happening all over in my gown and all over the bed and having to ask a nurse to clean me up, like a little baby getting a diaper change. Not being able to move and take a shower was gross after a couple of those episodes so I greatly looked forward to taking a shower the next morning when I could stand again!
Benefits:
I felt NOTHING once it kicked in. NOTHING as in no hard contractions, no crowning, no pain birthing the placenta, no cervical checks or doctor stitching me up or soreness or afterpains and cramping (at least not until the epi totally wore off). The next day I didn't even feel that burning pain that lets you know an 8 pounder exited your body. I felt NOTHING! I didn't feel any different than I was before having the baby. I am amazed that someone can give birth and really not feel anything at all to prove that they did! Having a BM a couple of days after childbirth, which was emotionally and physically torturous with my natural births, didn't hurt a bit after an epidural!
Baby:
While some books would have you believe that epidurals make the baby lethargic Justus was our healthiest baby and was immediately alert and crying. He nursed immediately and had lots of bonding time with us. He was an early discharge because of his good health.
Baby Blues:
Due in part to the fact that I had no pain giving birth I didn't feel as exhausted and worn down. I also had a lot of help this time around just due to the time of year (Mom not working yet and hubby able to take some time off). Absolutely no baby blues this time around!!!
Recovery Time:
Felt great after a couple of days! As I said before I have had no pain to even indicate I have had a baby except for some backache, pelvic muscle soreness, and uterine cramping (afterpains) when nursing. Not sure how long it will take to feel like my old body is back and able to tackle long walks and wrestling around with toddlers, but so far I feel so much better than ever before after birthing a baby!
Emotions/Reactions to the Birth:
It was really cool to be able to sit back and kinda observe the birth of my baby without being consumed by deep breathing exercises and pain! As one friend said, "You will get to enjoy the wonder of having a baby." It was still a lot of work to push and granted, I was exhausted and ready for it to be done after my day-long ordeal, but I really got to soak up the wonder of it all and revel in my baby as I haven't been able to before. I cried seeing my baby and during the pushing I was more focused on the baby than I was with myself and my own pain. I would describe Justus' birth as really beautiful and amazing looking back on it!
Overall I think the epidural is AWESOME! I know many people who have had experiences with it that were less than pleasant; most of them involving it not working enough or at all for them. I know there are risks involved and those have to be weighed by each woman. Medicated birth is more intrusive than natural if you prefer to do things exactly your own way or be in your own home to give birth. However, I found that I have completely flip-flopped from being "I'll have my baby naturally or die trying" to "Sign me up for the epidural the very minute my pregnancy test comes back positive!"

12 comments:

Mrs. Taft said...

The pain is worth avoiding the risks, to me. :) I think that motherhood is about sacrifice, and I'm going to try to do what's best and what's right for my kids even if it's hard on me. :) But you're right, it's different for every woman. I'm glad you had a good experience!

Kristin said...

Thanks for these comparisons. I have to say though, it's so strange hearing your preferences go from one end of the spectrum to the other! You were one that I never expected to go for a medicated birth and end up loving it! :-)

I'm glad the epidural experience was a good one for you. I guess I never knew just how painful your past labors had been (I knew they were hard, but this post really clarified). And I had no idea that you always have a difficult time delivering the placenta! Both times with me, I barely even noticed when it was time for it to come out. It's crazy how different one woman can be from the next!

Anyway, now you have 3 beautiful children with 3 unique stories.

Anonymous said...

Hooray for the intelligence that god gave the man who invented the epidural!!!

The Three 22nds said...

Pain is so different for each person. I would love to know, is it a wimpiness thing that makes it horrible (like mine was?) or were my labors truely more painful (due to prehaps the baby pushing on a nerve, or other such factors).

I know people that have had natural births and C-sections who thought the C-section was much worse and then I know other people that having experienced both would take a C-section ANY DAY over a natural birth. Why?

It is a fascinating topic to me - interestly enough, in the hospital we always say, "Pain is whatever the patient says it is". You simply don't know how bad it really is and there is no way to actually find out, so you treat it.

My mom says labor was horrible but she forgot IT ALL after we were each born. I haven't forgotten and honestly, I don't know if I will until the day I die.

The water birth sounds interesting, and I will definitely agree with your medicated vs nonmedicated assessments!

Our Home to Yours said...

I love your comparisons.. how neat to have 3 totally different births!!

I agree with the Three 22nds view of C-sections.. having had one, then a VBAC, I definately preffered the VBAC! The difference was not even worth comparing it was so much greater!!!
(I hope you never experience that kind of birth!)

I do agree with the fact that you never forget your labors, but the pain seems to lessen in my mind a bit, as I recall it. I mean, I knew it hurt a lot, but did it really hurt that much? lol
Not sure why that is.. :) But I don;t mind.. I might not have more children if I felt all the gory pain details as I remembered.

I also agree with the "Pain phrase" the Three 22nds said. I think this is why so many women can have non-medicated and then medicated births.. it is so different for each woman.

Great job comparing, Lindsey!

R Dvorak said...

I loved reading your comparison. Of course, as you said every birth experience is different. Even with my three, they were all delivered c-section but even that was different for each, including the details of why I had the c-sections and the various components, etc.

I am so glad you have your three babies born healthy and loved. No doubt, the other details add to the memories and what makes us moms.

Great stories!

Lesley said...

Love your comparisons, and it all gives me something to think about as I'm heading into the journey of labor soon. I want to just have a plan all figured out but since I have no idea how my labor will actually go, I unfortunately just have to keep my options open.
I'm not opposed to the epidural this time around and if I have time for one, I might take it. Thanks for all your information -- it's great stuff to hear such different experiences!

Anonymous said...

Great comparisons! Giving birth is really one of those incredible life experienced that as women we get a chance at. And look how many very different ways you got to do it! What a cool thing. Not to many women can say that! So...how many ways are left? Jk!

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the comparisons! Great food for thought. All 3 of my labors have been totally different and I am having such a hard time deciding how I would like to handle pain relief with the delivery that I am going to have in the next few weeks.

Anonymous said...

I am right on track with you! Ana was my land birth. It was excruciating. Very little baby blues for me the first time around. Just occasional tears at the beauty and wonder of my baby. Abby was my water birth. A little less painful...maybe... it certainly felt more private being in the water which was nice. Baby blues quickly escalated into PPD. Not in the way of not wanting my children like some mom's report, but feeling so wracked with guilt over being one person caring for 2 children and therefore having to divide my attention and affection... I have such a drive to be able to give them both 100% of me at all times! Anyway, it took some medical help. The 3rd time around I do not want to feel a thing....I am SOO on board with the epi! lol

Love you!
Amanda S

Anonymous said...

Thank you for sharing that with us!

The most helpful thing I got out of that (I got a lot more out of it than this, though!) was that the "depression" you experienced actually lessened with each child. My Mom, God bless her, told me that post-partum depression gets worse with each child, and though I found conflicting information on it, it's nice to hear a story from someone who actually had it diminish!!

Congratulations on your lovely, larger family! :)

~♥~April~♥~ said...

I'm not sure how I found this on my facebook page or if you posted it there, but Thank You! I love these stories! :) Both of my previous were non-medicated, and God-willing, this next one will be too. Zoe was 4hrs beginning to end and Corbyn was 8 hrs, my prayer is that this one is NOT 12hrs! ;) lol I'd love to have a home or water-birth, but our Nurse Mid-Wife is amazing and loves to deliver our babies however we want (within hospital rules), so we opted to use her again.

For my first time, Zoe wasn't as bad as I thought. I didn't need hardly any pain meds after. Corbyn was a different story. The boy shot out of me so fast, Esther almost didn't get to catch him! I was in excruciating pain for a few days after that - I have no idea what happened there... lol I guess he was just ready to be out. :)

Anyway, thank you for sharing this with me. :)

~*April*~

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