Sweet!

My friend Amanda is so thoughtful. 

She gave these little gift bags to all of her homeschool mom friends.

 

 

The 3 verses she typed out are good ones to have handy when homeschooling!

 

This summer, at the 5 Day Club Picnic we celebrated 3 years of friendship.  We met at the 5 Day Club Picnic back when we were both pregnant with our fourth babies.

The Flaws Behind the Fun

 

This is what my oldest, most mature and health-conscious kid ate at the last church picnic.

"At least I got some fruit Mom!  I would have gotten whipped cream too but it was gone."

 

Sigh.  We didn't have the energy to police the numerous trips of our four kids through the buffet line while chatting with church friends. 

 

This picture displays just a small taste of something that is very rare on the internet. 

The flaws behind the fun.

 

Millions of people, myself included, are posting pictures online of their successes and joys.  Selfies, ducklips (can't stand these!), pool parties, concerts, milestones, vacations, dates, new babies, joyous announcements, new clothes or toys, work promotions, etc. etc.  Not that sharing any of these things are bad; it's not.  In fact, it's great to share our joys with others and it helps us stay in touch with loved ones across the miles.  It can be very encouraging to see others' blessings.

 

 

Yet, if we're being truly honest, we'll admit that we showcase our "good" far more than we reveal our "bad."  Social media is infiltrated with self-exaltion and artificiality.  We hide behind shiny posts and happy pictures on a screen.  Statistics show that more people come away from facebook depressed instead of encouraged.  Many of my friends have talked about the pressures of Pinterest, the modern equivalent of multiple women's magazines, (though we love it dearly) or popular mommy blogs and how inadequate they can make us feel if we aren't careful in our use of them.

 

 

Sometimes we hide our flaws online without even thinking about it.  Often we do it intentionally.  Sometimes it's a desire for personal privacy, a fear of sounding weak or like a whiner, or an attempt at not dwelling on the negative in life.

Usually, it's about making ourselves look really good.

 

 

It's even easy for me to look over photo albums of years gone by and forget the flaws behind the photos.  I smile fondly at the cute pictures of our babies and forget the numerous trials we went through.

"Oh, he was so cute. Back when I only had two little ones. Life was so good and easy back then! That tiny apartment...oh so quaint. How I miss that sweet little place that was so easy to clean!"

 

Wait a minute....reality check please...the baby that didn't let me sleep more than 2 hours at a time for 16 months and who wanted to be held constantly? Two kids in diapers? No coat closet or space for anything in general?  The utter lack of privacy and the rude neighbor who hated kids? Sharing one washer and one dryer with 27 other people and having no windows to the outside world and no air conditioning? Wasn't I pregnant and continually nauseous when that picture was taken?

Oh....yeah.

It's so easy to sugar-coat our lives we can even do it to our memories.

 

But doing so does little to serve the Body of Christ.

 

 

Though I love sharing fun pictures of life in our family on this blog and think that photography can be a way to glorify God and savor the little blessings in each day, I don't ever want to mistakenly give the impression that we are a great Christian family that really has it all together and doesn't struggle or bomb it big time at times.  Though I, like most people, am more likely to share about the shining moments of our life, as a way to archive our family fun and share tips here, I also want my friends and readers to know that the pictures they see are just a small part of our day.  A small 2D glimpse of a large 4D life.

 

 

The number one comment I get from people who like my writings is that they love hearing the "dirt" on us.  They love honesty and hearing about how hard our life is.  It's not because they want to see us fail or because they hate us (at least I hope not) but rather because they finally feel understood.

 

They get it because they're messed up too.

They are tired of people saying how great and awesome and fun life is.

Because much of the time it isn't.

Hearing someone say that it's hard, confusing, and painful is refreshing because it's true.

Hearing someone talk about fear, doubt, dicouragement, depression, or anger hits home for them.

Authenticity is a breath of fresh air.

 

So, this post is just a little reminder amidst a plethora of our fun summer pictures and trips. 

 

We are having a LOT of fun.

We are doing a LOT of great things.

But we're also having a lot of NOT FUN moments.

We're also doing a LOT of falling and failing.

 

If my in-real-life friends were to do a guest interview on this blog they could tell you about my kid that is constantly disobeying and my pathetic attempts to de-rail his behavior and how much more time I spend complaining about him than I do praying for him.  About the bags under my eyes some days, the crumbs on our floors, and the dirty dishes in my sink.  They could show pictures of my bad hair days and outdated sense of fashion, our weed-filled yard, and van full of random and smelly kid stuff.  They could tell you of my selfishness, my grumpiness with motherhood, my germ-o-phobic ways, how much I gossip, etc. etc. etc.  They are all truly far too nice to really rat me out with those things.......but they definitely could. 

Those things are just the tip of the iceberg.  Please don't interview my kids or my husband!

 

 

Life is difficult.  Parenting is. so. difficult.  Some evenings my husband and I can barely sit up straight and speak a sentence to one another because we are so run down.  My husband works a physically draining job that can be excruciating during the summer.  This week he drank over 300 ounces of water in one day lifting logs in 100 degree heat from dawn to dusk.  His face is red, his neck is blackened by the sun, and he thinks he has a metal shaving in his eyeball from grinding a nail this week.  He works his fingers to the bone to provide for his family. 

 

Twelve-hour days with my kids' constant demands for attention, overseeing 29 "food interactions" per day, refereeing approximately 4 hours of fighting a day, cleaning up at least 1 potty mess and 1 blood mess per day in addition to helping little ones in the bathroom all day, penny pinching and frugal cooking, unexpected bills, listening to ear-shattering screaming and living among these hyperactive ones, along with the endless household chores leave me feeling emotionally ragged and physically exhausted at the end of almost every day. 

I often wonder if I have what it takes to finish what we've started in parenting.

 

 

My life may look good online (cue Brad Paisley's hysterical song "Online" here), but it often feels like a train wreck to me.

 

The good news is that my God is big enough for this mess.

 

He doesn't need me to be a perfect Christian, a perfect mom, a perfect wife, housekeeper, or blogger.

In the weak things of this world, His strength is displayed more gloriously. 

He gets the credit, not me, because I can't do this without Him.

I don't need to pretend that I have it all together, because I don't.

None of us do.

But He does and He's the One I can go to for help.

 

So, when you read here, and share a peek at the pics of our life and consider my ramblings, keep in mind that the joyous things I share here are my efforts at digging for jewels in my difficult days. 

A way of being thankful in the midst of struggle. 

For every beautiful picture I put up of a kid with a cheesy smile, there could have also been one of a child screaming or frowning or disobeying. 

Behind all of this fun, there are flaws!

 

 

(The kids playing "Sleeping in a Camper" one day.  Of course it was probably only 5 minutes into the game that someone was kicking or screaming....or both!)

 

 



Blessing Others Through Celebration--Keeping Your Party Simple

 
 
Last week we covered

Preparation

If you are new to party planning or want to keep things simple because you don't have a lot of help or time, here are some tips:

• Where:  Have it at your home, a friend's house, or at your church
• Who to invite?  Invite fewer people if possible.  Focus on the people whom the person is closest to.
• What time:  Go with a time in the mid-morning or afternoon or after dinner to avoid having to serve a full meal.
• Food: Opt for one main thing, like cake or ice-cream sundaes, with some small appetizers on the side: nuts, fruit, cheese and crackers, etc.  Simple drinks: water, hot tea and coffee, pink lemonade, koolaid, milk, pop.
• Avoid games if you possibly can.  Games are fun and can make a party memorable, but if you are trying to keep things ultra simple, skip the games.
• No need for music or entertainment, unless you want to just pop a favorite CD in for some background music
• There is no need to really decorate if you want a simple party.  Decorations are the thing I probably like least.  I had fun doing a few things for my daughter, but most of the time I skip decorations or get a talented decorator friend on board with me when I do an event.  Often, they seem like a waste of time.  I've been to showers where there are tons of decorations and showers where there are none, and I think both were just as nice.  The thing that made the party special was being together, sharing in someone's joy, and blessing that person, not the decorations.  So, to keep things simple I usually limit my decorating to a nice tablecloth, a vase or two of flowers, and the occasional bouquet of balloons.
• Party supplies:  Next week we'll talk about The Party Stash.  You can keep party supplies very simple by purchasing coordinating plates and napkins and cups at the Dollar Store for a few bucks.
• Gifts:  In a couple of weeks I'll write about the gift stash and how to keep giving gifts simple for yourself. 
• Invitations: In lieu of a formal, printed invitation, it's often very appropriate to send an e-mail invite, call folks on the phone, or talk to them in person.  This could save you time AND stamps!

Next week we'll talk about The Party Stash.

Blessing Others Through Celebration

Ali holds my friend Tracy's 3 day old baby, Samantha

As the years go by, I'm discovering that one of the primary responsibilities of being a Christian woman, wife, mother, and light for Christ is "Celebration Manager."  Whether it's a birthday luncheon for a roommate, a brunch for your husband's co-workers, a shower for a friend getting married, or your children's birthday parties, every women finds herself in the midst of many celebrations during the year.

Because "celebrations" of various kinds are a frequent part of life and a tool for ministering to others, I want to spend some time focusing on how to throw a successful celebration to encourage those of you who get chills thinking about hosting a party. 

I encourage those of you young women who are still living at home to train in the area of hospitality by reading books about parties and group games, by experimenting in the kitchen, by taking a cake decorating class, by throwing birthday celebrations for your siblings, etc.  The more you practice now, the easier it will be when you are managing the celebrations in your own home someday.

So, look for a weekly post on Blessing Others Through Celebration beginning this Tuesday!

Advance Prep and Flexibility

I was asked by our company a couple of times, in reference to getting supper made, "How did you do this?" Considering we were busy all day taking care of kids or going places, it was a very valid question!

The key for me is being prepared. I have watched 6 small children on many occasions before and I know that there is no time for cooking with that many kids in the house! So, I made sure that cooking wasn't something I would have to do when company was here. What I did:

*Planned simple meals

*Took shortcuts like buying french bread from the grocery bakery instead of making homemade

*Froze rolls and sandwich bread so we'd have plenty on hand

*Made a lasagna and a chicken/brocolli/rice casserole a few days before they came

*Washed lettuce and had it ready to go from the ziploc bag to the bowl for salad

*Made a big batch of brownies all at once before they came (1 pan was dessert the first night, 1 pan was part of our contribution to the church potluck the next night)

*Made the Black Bean Salsa for the potluck earlier in the day when the kids were busy/sleeping

*Had lunchmeat and sliced cheese on hand for sandwiches

*Served ice-cream bars for dessert one night so I wouldn't have to make anything (it was nice that they just happened to be on sale this week too!)

*Had sloppy joe meat ready to put on buns for lunch

*Shopped in advance for all the meals

*Cleaned in advance as much as possible so I didn't have to do it all the day or two before they arrived

I've always loved to plan ahead and organize. Yep, I'm the kid who packed for church camp like 3 weeks in advance, made lists, had all the little travel bottles, etc. I still do that for big trips! Being prepared is such a lifesaver in so many aspects of motherhood. The more kids I have, the more prepared I need to be. With any future pregnancies my goal is to have a huge freezer full of food before I hit Week 7 when the misery of all-day sickness hits. I've already told my husband that we should take about $400 and hit Wal-Mart and fill up our chest freezer with easy-to-make meals since we know from much experience that I won't want to cook for a few months and now there are lots of hungry mouths to feed! With each baby I have had, I have made up about 20 meals before the baby's birth and froze them. This made those first few months a breeze with a new baby! Most moms use diaper bags, right? Diaper bags are just one small way of being prepared for the inevitable!

When you talk to moms of lots of children, who are a wealth of information and inspiration, I might add, it is clear that preparation and organization are very key to their surviving and having a peaceful life. That's not to say that their house is perfect or they never need to be flexible, but it is to say that most of them have learned to manage their lives instead of living in constant chaos. The women I know with the most children end up doing more of the once-a-month cooking or the once-a-month shopping or the monthly menu plan instead of the weekly. They are experts at stocking up clothing in the next-size up for their children and stashing gifts away in advance to be prepared for birthdays and holidays. They often freeze things ahead, have a large pantry, buy in bulk, and cook in bulk. They plan a month or two at a time with lesson planning for homeschooling (or even a year at a time!) and they often prepare for the next day the night before by laying out clothing or putting breakfast food on the table, etc. They have all kinds of crockpot recipes so that a hot meal is ready in the crockpot after church or after a long day.

Advance prep will be your best friend when it comes to managing a household of kids or having company. Of course you have to remember that flexibility should go hand-in-hand with that too. I may look at my Master Packing List a hundred times and we still might run out of diapers on vacation and need a midnight run to Wal-Mart or the kids may lose every pair of shoes we brought them even if we brought extra. When this happens, you have to roll with the punches and just learn to be flexible. It didn't kill Jeremiah to wear his sister's pajamas from the dirty clothes bag when he wet through every extra outfit of his on one vacation. We did survive when my very-organized Mom forgot the diapers on a camping trip when my little brother was only 1 and she was taking 6 kids (my cousins and I) camping at the lake by herself. And though I shopped for all the food in advance, I still made a quick store trip when it turned out that the cream cheese I had frozen was such a nasty consistency we couldn't use it on our bagels and needed some fresh cream cheese. So, while preparation will help you a lot, don't put all of your hope in it or you will be disappointed! Life will always contain many surprises and frustrations but if you are prepared you will face a lot less of them than if you aren't prepared!

What are some tips for becoming more prepared? If you are totally new to being prepared, I suggest trying some of these ideas and incorporating them bit by bit (not all at once) into your life:

*Rising early to have time with God and prepare for the day

*Using a daily list (whether in your head or on paper), a home management binder, Daily Docket, or schedule to map out your day and write down things that need to be done

*Make supper in the morning so when the "pit hour" comes and all the kids are crying you can just heat it up!

*Making a Master List of your family's favorite 50 meals that you can consult when you need menu-planning ideas

*Getting into the habit of making a weekly menu-plan and shopping once a week or less

*Making up a Master Packing List to look over when you are packing for trips so you don't forget those important items for each person in the family

*Making a Master Grocery List as my friend Heather did to help avoid forgetting items on shopping trips

*Having a weekly "stock-the-diaper-bag" routine where you make sure there are a few outfits, a few diapers and some wipes, and some toys, etc. It's no use taking a diaper bag if it's not stocked!

*Making a weekly schedule or routine for activities you can do with your child (playdough one day, painting the next, etc.)

*Setting out the cups/bowls/cereal/bread the night before so breakfast goes smoothly

*When chicken goes on sale, cook 4-6# of it in a crockpot or in a roasting pan in the oven. Cool it, chop or shred it, and freeze it for a handy addition to meals when you are cooking. Do the same for cooking hamburger, dried beans, etc.

*Do a Baking Day to prep snacks and breads for your family so they are easily accesible.

*Buying a freezer chest that you can use to buy ahead when things go on sale.

*Having an emergency kit in the car, first aid kit in the house, and fire extinguisher handy.

*Pack a Park-Kit for the trunk of your car. Going to the park all the time in the summer? Don't want to fuss with packing snacks and drinks every time? Fill an empty diaper box with crackers, bottled water, wipes, band-aids, sunscreen, sun hats, a blanket, sunglasses, kleenex, sand toys, etc. and then you will have it handy if you need it. Of course you will have to restock it now and then though!

*Have a few outfits that are older or faded that you were going to toss or give to the thrift store? Stash one outfit per person in your trunk of your car. Then, when you are at a picnic and your kid wets on you or you discover you forgot to stock the diaper bag, you won't have to drive home! Just remember to put them back in the trunk of the car after you wash them.

*Back up all of your photos and home videos on CDs/DVDs/Memory card, etc. and keep them in a fireproof box with your important documents.

*Make a Travel Bag and fill with activities that your kids can do on long car trips.

*Pack separate bags for each day for a vacation. I love this idea I found online a while back! Instead of having 5 separate suitcases which Dad has to haul into the tent/hotel every day, pack an outfit for each person in one brown bag or tote bag, labeled DAY ONE. Then you just have to bring in blankets, diapers, the bathroom bag, and the DAY ONE bag. We do this now on some vacations/trips and it's so nice to have everyone's swimsuit handy in the swim bag when you want to go to the lake or pool or a church bag fully stocked with church outfits.

*Make a gift stash and add to it as you find great new stuff for cheap at yard sales, or on clearance. Then you can "shop at home" for someone when you want to bless someone who is having a hard day or give someone a birthday surprise.

I'd LOVE to hear your ideas for being prepared since this list is just a starting point!

And have a wonderful and safe Fourth of July everyone!

Blessing Others

This post described one of the sweetest ideas I've ever seen for blessing a loved one far away with a "virtual" shower. What a devoted and loving sister. Check it out! It is inspiring!

And check out the reaction from the wonderful lady who was the recipient of the virtual shower! (By the way, these gals are some of my favorite singers!)

I'm looking for hospitality ideas! We're hosting some missionary friends for a few days in a little over a week and I would love to do some special things to make their visit here fun. They have 3 little kids (age 3, 2, and 1) and we have a small house so those are some factors but I'm just curious: What fun things might you do to bless a missionary family staying with you?