Saturday, September 13, 2008

Three 3 and Under--Sleeping Arrangements


We have tried just about everything when it comes to sleeping arrangements for our brood. Ali started off in a little bassinet next to our bed, and sometimes slept between us, and then spent most of her first year in a Pack n' Play in our room because we only had one-room apartments, and we didn't have a real crib. Jer spent much of the first year of his life in a Pack n' Play in our bedroom even though we did have a crib at that point because we were scared to put our tiny boy in the same room with Ali at night.
When it came time to teach Jer to sleep through the night, we tried moving the Pack n' Play to the living room and letting him "cry it out" which didn't work at all and probably made the neighbors super mad. Finally, we moved Ali's toddler bed to our room and put him in his own crib in his own room and that worked wonders. He was a year old at the time. When he was used to sleeping in there, we moved Ali's bed back in there and ever since they have shared a room. However, they cannot share a room at naptimes because they talk and giggle and don't get any sleeping done.
So, I have tried various things for naptimes. For the last year Ali has been napping on my bed. However this poses some challenges as I have to CONSTANTLY be checking up on her and disciplining her for getting off the bed and into my things and jumping on my bed, etc. And no, she doesn't learn, no matter how consistent I am, and does the same irritating things over and over and over endlessly! In order to protect my bed, I have tried having her lay on the living room couch. However, this is even more stressful as I can't do laundry or chores or even be on the computer without her asking me a million questions and refusing to go to sleep.
My most recent experiment is to put Jer on my bed and Ali in her own bed in her room, alone. Justus' bassinet is now in the living room so I can conveniently watch over him as he naps throughout the day and he sleeps between us in our bed at night. Because Jer is a much more obedient and compliant kid, he can go to sleep on my bed without getting into a million things and even if Ali isn't sleepy, at least she is alone and in her own space for an hour or two, which is something I would go crazy without considering how much she exhausts me with her intensity and energy.
Of course it would be ideal to have a huge home where every child could have their own bedroom and have a place to rest and have "quiet time." It's hard not to be envious sometimes when I visit the huge elaborate homes of people I know and think about how nice it would be to have so many rooms, a huge fenced-in yard for the kids to romp in, and a dishwasher, a garage, more storage space, etc. It seems like life would be so much easier if I had these things at my disposable for raising 3 little ones. However, I have to remind myself how blessed I truly am. I make myself remember my rancher friend who is living with her two tiny kids and husband in a one-room trailer an hour away from town in the middle-of-nowhere with no internet, no TV, and no people, other than her folks and brothers and sisters. She only gets to come to town once a week for church and a quick grocery-shopping trip. She thinks I'm spoiled for having dial-up internet and the chance to rent/borrow movies to watch on weekends! I also know that most of the people in this world have far less space to live in than I do. My parents jokingly state that 45 Guatamalans could live in our apartment kitchen! (They visited Guatamala this spring).
So, even if other people have more wealth or more conveniences, we are making it work with what we have and we are learning lessons along the way. When you have a tight place you are forced to declutter and re-arrange constantly and the kids have to learn to share and get along. They have so much fun singing together in their beds after we put them to bed each night. They have had to learn to clean up their things well since our space gets used so much. Our apartment is fairly easy to straighten up and clean since it is such a small space! Because we have lived in such tight quarters, just about any house we buy someday will seem like a mansion!
Oddly enough, a couple of my friends with the biggest houses have said that they too started in very humble circumstances, like living in someone's basement or in a teensy apartment with lots of little kids. One gal even said she envied ME a little bit since she missed those "cozy" days of living in a tiny apartment! Wow!
Sorry for the major rabbit trail but I guess sleeping arrangements always leads me to the topic of housing/envy of other's housing, etc.
For those of you with 3 kids, I'd be interested in hearing how you make sleeping arrangements work at your house!

7 comments:

Rachel said...

Despite having "extra" bedrooms, we choose to keep the kids in the same room. (We also sleep with baby in bed with us and have never had a crib or even a pack-n-play. I was a single mom with my first and did buy a used crib, which my son slept in from probably a total of 5 hours the entire time I had it.) Our boys have learned to share a space and hopefully are learning to rely on each other. We are trying to teach them the dangers of individualism, which is so prevalent in our society. They share the bottom of a bunk bed (which is a double on bottom) and even when the baby we're expecting is old enough to be in their room, I hope to still have the oldest in there, sleeping on the top bunk. They would probably be 8, 4, and 1-2 at that point. Naps can be tricky though as it's not dark and they don't fall asleep as well. Sounds like you're figuring it out and it constantly changes too as they age!

Thia said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Thia said...

I had much to say, more than a comment...
http://untangledweb.blogspot.com/2008/09/on-having-three_13.html

Meredith said...

You are so good at finding the positive points of your small space. I have to agree with your friend who fondly remembers days in a small apartment. I have such cozy memories of our 1 bedroom apartment. One of my favorite things was that it wasn't too hard to clean. Also, I loved that my toddler could easily find me if I had to be in the kitchen or bedroom. Sounds like you are making lots of memories there. Thanks for sharing your sleeping experience!

Nicole said...

Our girls share a room and our son has his own room.

There comes a point though where kids will outgrow their naps and it sounds like Ali is getting there! I still make the girls rest each afternoon which usually means they watch a cartoon while I veg out in front of the computer! LOL

The Three 22nds said...

Lincoln (15 months) sleeps in a pack n play in our walk in closet. The other 2 share a room. We do have a 3rd bedroom downstairs, but we think they are too young to be down there by themselves. We may never move them and instead just turn the upstairs room into barracks with 2 sets of bunkbeds and keep the toys downstairs. Then they don't stay up trying to play anyway.

I think it will depend if we have any kids that really need their own space. Currently they love to sleep in the same room.

Naps? Both of my 2 oldest quit taking naps at 21 months. So naps aren't really an issue at our house :)

Sarah said...

Hello again! I had to comment, because I totally feel for you in several of your recent posts. I have to separate my 3 also--the older two so they might actually sleep, the youngest one, so she won't wake the others (her naps aren't as long). And my 3 1/2 year old also boycots naps (she has since she was 2) and I end up letting her play quietly on her bed. I don't think she doesn't need them, I think she just doesn't like sleeping (never has--as a newborn, I was ecstatic if she took even one 20-min nap, and she didn't sleep much at night either.)
One more thing, I second your frustration (?) at books/advice that are cut-and-dry about doing a,b or c. I appreciate your post on your spirited child. Though I'm not sure I have a spirited child (perhaps both of the toddlers are?), I found comfort in your words--just knowing I'm not the only non-attachment-parenting mom who deals with these issues over and over despite giving consequences. Oh, and the part about the poop-flinging (every afternoon!) had me in stitches!

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