Thursday, June 5, 2008

The Gentle Mothering Support Group

So, how is everyone doing being gentle with their children? I find myself having good days and bad days, but still wanting to plug on and grow in this area. I found an excellent verse I'm planning to memorize. I would challenge you to do so as well, and let me know if you do!

Colossians 3:12
And so, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience;
Also, some tips for the week. I have found that I'm most likely to lose it and yell during nap time when I'm either wanting to take a nap or wanting some "quiet" alone time and Ali is incessantly bouncing the bed, chattering, singing, refusing to stop playing and go to sleep, etc. She's been down with a cold this week and has been taking good naps so it has been a nice week! However, when she bounces back with boundless energy, I'm going to really have to watch myself during nap times and try to ward off a Mommy Rant during that time. Here are my ideas:
*Go to bed by 11pm. If I get my sleep, I don't usually need a nap and will be way less irritable.
*Wear her out! Going to the park and on walks in the summer is a great way to get kids tired. Swimming lessons in July will help too!
*Give up my dire "NEED" to have her sleep. I'm putting together some concentration/skill building exercises for her thanks to the book "Mommy, Teach Me." If she absolutely won't take a nap, at least I can get some unwinding time by parking her at the kitchen table with some activities for her to do quietly. She will usually look at books for a long time on my bed at naptime too.
*Give her to Grammy! This is the best idea yet. With my mom home from school in the summer, I'm hoping to have some free babysitting more frequently now. As my pregnancy progresses, if I feel the desperate need for a long nap or some alone time, I'm sure my mom would let her come over for a couple of hours.
Other tips that seem to help promote Mommy Gentleness:
*Kristin suggested asking them if they need a hug when they are acting naughty or irritable
*My mom always tries to find an activity when Ali is starting to get naughty. She thinks part of the naughtiness or whining is just needing something to do. With lots of cold, rainy days recently the kids need extra motivation to find new games to play or craft activities to do.


Kristin said...

I have done a wonderful job this week at mothering with gentleness! I'm sure it has nothing to do with the fact that my little firecracker has been Papa and Nana's house all week. Ha,ha. :-)

I'm beginning to think, in doing some research, that some of our issues dealing with Madison has to do with her need for more creative outlets, like you and many others have suggested. I think she's one who needs to have constant stimulation and her "spells" occur from boredom. This is really going to be a challenge for me because I have discovered that I would not be a good preschool teacher, so trying to come up with creative new activities for her is going to be difficult. I decided to get that book "Mommy Teach Me" for ideas, at your recommendation!

I also got the book "Screamfree Parenting" from the library today and have really enjoyed reading it so far.

That was a good verse you posted. I'm also going to work on memorizing it.

The Three 22nds said...

With my "constantly on the move" child (he wakes up and immediately wants to know where we are going today...) I have started implementing an idea from "Scream Free Parenting": flipping the boredom question back to him. If he doesn't like what we are doing, if he claims he has nothing to do, I say "What are YOU going to do about it?" It stops him in his tracks! Not even a 4 year old wants to answer, "I am going to mope and scream and stomp etc." and it really seems to force him to pause and evaluate his options and emotions!

Josh & Laura said...

I love this idea.. having a support group online!! :) Leah is usually a good natured child, but I feel the need to always be gentle with her, even when I don;t feel gentle!! I love the idea of hugging when they are being naughty, active, etc. I love your mom's idea of getting her active too.. I find that is a "mom" idea.. as my mom does it and it works beautifully!she is so much better behaved when she has things to keep her busy!! Love the book idea too.. I will have to find it.. "Mommy teach me" sounds great! Keep up the gentle mothering ladies! We are all in this together!

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