Forsaking All Others--Why Weddings are Bittersweet

The night of the wedding I was pondering to myself why weddings are both joyous and sad. Now that I have kids, I can better understand the look of agony on the face of Anna's parents after the happy couple left and said goodbye. It nearly made me cry. Weddings change things. It's not that change is bad or that it's not a change for the better. It's that little line found in most wedding vows..."forsaking all others."

There was a time when my brothers were the men in my life. And though I was in a love fog and didn't really recognize it five years ago, they and my parents had the same look of sadness after my wedding when I joined myself to King Jo who became the main man in my life. My husband's folks, as well, surely felt the adjustment, especially his dad, who felt like he had lost his best friend. A very hard transfer, even if you adore the person your child/sibling is marrying, and even harder if you don't!

After a lifetime of being Colter's best female friend, now the main girl in Colter's life is Anna. I think she was designed by God for him, she's sweet, and we are grateful that she can be a blessing to Colter in his life overseas, far from family and friends and horses and wide open spaces. We know together they will be able to be used mightily of God in reaching the lost and training the believers in Latin America. Knowing the joy of marriage and the wonder of having little children through marriage I would never want to deny that joy to my brother.

But there's still a tiny piece in each family member that feels "forsaken." Vacation time in the states will be shared between families; each family will lose time with their son or daughter. Family dynamics will change a little bit as everyone gets to know someone new and relate to him/her. Different foods, and preferences and lifestyle details will make their way into families. Colter will have more responsibilities in the home and less time to chat or e-mail. They will have to consult one another on a whole host of issues and forsake "family expectations". Their schedules will not be their own. He will have less in common with single friends. She will have less time for her missionary career and will have to adjust to learning to care for a home and a husband.

Anna will be the one Colter gives his best to and would give his life for and she in turn will give her best to Colter and is no longer under her father's authority. She is the one who will be his ultimate love, his dearest friend, his highest standard of beauty and femininity. He will be responsible for making sure she's safe and treated with love. He will be her leader now. This is all good and necessary and part of the "leaving and cleaving" but nevertheless hard as everyone adjusts to the new roles.

I have a lump in my throat already thinking about the day my babies walk the aisle to make this covenant. It's so important to treasure these years and train them in godliness, and to be praying for their future spouses!