Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Three 3 and Under---Hope for the Hard Days


Those of you mom with 3 or more kids knew it was only a matter of time until I experienced a really tough day with all of them! Well, now I have! Justus has been our best sleeper, sleeping a 4 hour and 3 hour chunk at night and I had my easiest delivery and recovery. There have only been a couple of nights in the last 6 weeks where he was gassy and kept me up most of the entire night and I've been so, so, so thankful for that. However, this weekend he was really fussy and gassy and my patience and energy were wearing thin. Thankfully my hubby was home to help those days. However, this morning I woke up feeling like a train had literally run over my body. The older 2 had cried a lot in the night last night, interrupting our sleep (not sure why) but I normally don't feel that horrible even when I've gotten hardly any sleep. It didn't take me too long to discover that I must have had a clogged milk duct. I've had these 4 or 5 times before with my other kids (and even once during Justus' pregnancy when I wasn't even nursing!) They are horrible! Every inch of your body aches and you feel like you can barely move, let alone get off of the floor. You get chills and fever and feel incredibly tired and every muscle in your back hurts. Nursing feels like someone is stabbing you repeatedly with hot pokers but the key to recovery is to nurse as much as you can on the clogged side so that the clog/infection goes away.
I knew it was going to be a tough day since getting rest and taking care of 3 kids 3 and under definitely don't mesh. I let the kids spread out all of their blankets on the floor and declared it a movie day. We have never had to do that before, but I was desperate and too sick to even read to them! The kids' attention waned after around an hour of movies and Justus was a major fussypants but we made it (barely) until lunch when Daddy came home and he fed and cleaned up the kids and changed an icky diaper. I really didn't want him to leave again but I knew he needed to work and I knew naptime was coming, thank the Lord! So, the boys napped, I rested, and Ali played in her bedroom fairly quietly for a couple of hours. I started feeling much better (as in I could handle walking to the bathroom) in the late afternoon but I continued to rest and let the kids watch another movie and King Jo came home around 5 and picked up Dominos pizza since we had a gift card from Justus' shower.
I am no expert on how to deal with really tough days with 3 little ones, but here's what I did today:
*Pray (it really does help!)
*If you are ill or dealing with 3 screaming kids, forget all housework and focus on just attending to the basic needs (diapers, drinks, food, and not letting the kids kill each other).
*Teach your kids patience. If Justus is screaming and Ali is begging for a drink of milk and Jer is hollering that he is hungry I will try to calmly tell them that when the baby is done drinking I will then get them something. It's good for kids to have siblings to teach them that the universe doesn't revolve around them.
*Ask your oldest to be Mommy's helper. I was proud of the way Ali fetched things for me constantly today. Even Jer-Bear helped out where he could. It was sweet to see them kissing me, trying to give me a foot massage, and praying for me all day.
*Keep the kids on a short tether. While it was a pretty day and they would have loved to play outside, I could barely move, let alone watch them outdoors. So, even though our apartment is very small and not a great place to burn off energy, I made them stay indoors and encouraged their playing where I could see them so I could referee fighting with my weak voice.
*Get take-out for supper!
I try to keep these awful days in perspective. They are tough, but I am so glad to have 3 little blessings and most days with them are a lot easier. It's totally worth having 3, even if occasionally all 3 of them are screaming at once!
What do our veteran moms of 3 or more suggest for the tough days?

5 comments:

Nicole said...

On tough days I do pretty much exactly what you do! Turn the tv on, throw most of our daily routine out the window! Sometimes I'll take out play doh or something I know will keep them entertained for a while and not care less that it's a huge mess. I've let the kids throw beans all over the livingroom because they were having a blast and staying out of my hair.

I had one really, really hard day quite a while ago and I called my MIL and she came and took my girls for a bit. I knew I had to ask for help and I was so glad I did.

The key is asking for help if you need it and not being hard on yourself if you're having an off day. Kids will not die from watching tv all day long every so often and they won't die from eating cereal for 2+ meals either sometimes! :)

The Three 22nds said...

It must just be a tough week for some reason. We had a tough day Monday. I know it is because I had gotten home at 4:30am from work so had only gotten a couple hours of sleep. Our normal rule is no tv/movies before lunch, but I felt so bad I turned the tv on and took a nap on the couch. When I turned it off they were super cranky but I felt better.

It was a catch 22...I don't know what is worse. Crabby mom and happy kids or crabby kids and happy mom.

My mom wasn't home. Generally I have one of the kids call her and she gets the point that it is a bad day and then she comes and bails us out.

Angela said...

That sounds like a rough day! I hope and pray you feel better soon, and can get some rest!

Anonymous said...

If you're feeling that sick, you have a case of mastitis and should be see by your doctor. Plugged ducts should just be a hard lump that is painful. Any flu-like symptoms indicate something worse that will probably need a dose of antibiotics. Please don't hesitate to go to your doctor in a case like this.
A La Leche League Leader

Thia said...

Sorry you were so ill! Hope you are back on your feet now. Thankfully, I haven't been laid up since morning sickness. The answer then was DVDs, lots and lots of DVDs.

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