Cheer for a Friend

From one of my morning readings from "The Valley of Vision." Dedicated first and foremost to my friend Lesley, who has suffered with me in horrible pregnancy nausea and is not finding the Unisom to help much. Dedicated also to the women out there who understand like few can what it is to have debilitating sickness for weeks and weeks on end in pregnancy, or who have suffered with other long-term illnesses.

"Assure us that we shall at last enter

Immanuel's land

where none is ever sick,

and the sun will always shine."

Page 387.

What not to say to say to someone with severe pregnancy nausea:

(Taken from my own personal experience! Yes, I've heard 'em all!)

1. I never had a hint of sickness myself! Pregnancy was bliss for me! (If our good friend Hannah has blissful pregnancies in the future she'd better not tell us or we'll come give her horrid tickle tortures!)

2. I always made sure to eat very healthy and take care of myself and never got sick.

3. Suck it up! You're a wimp!

4. I've learned that if you always keep food in your stomach, you don't have nausea, so just eat little snacks and meals all throughout the day.....(or other unwanted advice that comes across as haughty and all-knowing! Besides anyone who's had it BAD knows that NOTHING works completely anyway! Sadly, not even Unisom, my friends.)

5. Tsk, tsk, tsk. It's a shame that pregnancy is so hard on you. (Or worse...gossip to someone else and tell them, "Poor Mrs. Jo! Isn't she looking awful these days!) Or tell them to their face, "You look awful!" "You look like such a pinched-mouth!" (uh, that pinched-mouth look is because I'm trying to keep from throwing up on you!)

6. You'll get through it! It's just a blip in time and before you know it, it'll all be over and you'll have a baby! (Sure, next time you have a 48 hour flu and you're heaving in the toliet begging God to kill you I'll remind you with a smile that you only have to suffer 2-3 days instead of about 70 days!)

7. Should you be eating that? (This one goes for all pregnant women! Don't you love how people think they can tell you what to eat and what not to eat?)

8. The scale is supposed to be going up, not down Missy! (There's a reason I'm avoiding the clinic for the first trimester of this pregnancy! It's not like I'm TRYING to lose weight people!)

9. Please don't barf on me! Don't barf in my car! (Sheesh! I love you too Mom!)

10. I just ate a ______(fill in the blank with a very nasty-sounding food) or... How does ______(repulsive-sounding food) sound for dinner Honey? I actually filled a barf bucket once when King Jo suggested something for supper that I was NOT in the mood for! I've also lost an entire meal when he gave me a goodnight peck on the cheek after eating a garlicky meal!

On the Other Hand....

List of Things Fellow Suffering Women Will Say....

1. I'll pray for you.

2. Can I do anything to help you? (Thanks for asking Shiloh! I know you care!)

3. Try Unisom Honey! It can be a lifesaver! (I owe you bigtime Laura J.!)

4. Please whack me over the head with a 2X4 as hard as you can if I ever THINK ABOUT getting pregnant again!

5. Fill your pockets with rocks when the nurse is weighing you at the clinic! (Not kidding, a woman with 4 kids at my church who suffered the entire 9 months with EACH OF THEM told me to do this! Instead of doing this I just wore really heavy clothes!)

6. I understand why you would rather go through natural labor TWICE for one pregnancy rather than have a couple months of endless nausea!

7. You can cry, you can scream, you can vent to me anytime!

8. You're not crazy! This is one of the hardest things in life!

9. It's okay to cut back on activities, cut stuff out, get help, eat frozen dinners and fast food, and try to rest during this time!

10. Barf-swappin' stories! "Oh yeah... well one time I threw up all over _____ (fill in the blank)." "That's awful girlfriend! That's like the time I threw up when I was ______." Hey, you have to find the humor somewhere! Speaking of which...some of my most embarrassing moments.....blacking out and having to get on the floor while I was waiting on customers at my job as a cashier....having to run to the bathroom to throw up in the middle of a transaction with a customer....having to ask the bag boy to give you extra bags after grocery shopping so you can go heave in one on the way home from shopping....having to carry a barf bag with you in your pocket wherever you go.....

Funny Things My Kids Have Said:

1. I'll pray for your tongue Mama (when I'm gagging and it's hanging out!)

2. Don't forget to cover your mouth with your arm! (Every time I go into the bathroom to wipe her, Ali reminds me and shows me how to cover my face so I don't gag!)

3. Laugh at Mama! (Jer does this when I'm gagging and burping and I'm holding him. He thinks it's a funny game or that I'm purposefully making funny faces!)

4. Uh-oh! Uh-oh! (Ali says this when I'm on the verge of throwing up!)

5. Not say anything! This is the saddest thing of all. Today I was in the middle of giving Ali her time-out lecture on why we don't shove baby brother and I started gagging and heaving nasty burps and she didn't even seem to notice. Must be used to it by now! She just said, "Can I get out of time-out now?"