The Gentle Mothers Support Club

So, how is everyone doing with mothering with gentleness these days? I feel like some days I do so well and really delight in my kids, but so often it's all too easy to completely lose it and be way out of control emotionally! I wish I could snap my fingers and make myself perfect in this area but I guess it will be a lifelong journey! And no doubt God uses the children we have to teach us patience and self-control too! I can't wait to not be pregnant anymore and see if that has any difference in how irritable I am with Ali and the naughty things she does.

This week I've been mulling over whether or not some of the things that bug us most about our kids are things we ourselves have modeled before them. It all started for me when I went on a lake trip with a friend and Ali began freaking out every single time a toy or shovel got in the water on the edge of the beach. She was going crazy and panicking about the toys floating away. Of course her little buddy decided to capitalize on the situation by throwing her floatie ring into the water just to hear her scream! I tried calming Ali down and the boy's mother tried convincing him to stop but at last he threw it a few feet out and Ali had a complete meltdown and went into screaming hysterics over her little $1 floatie! She was screaming in a bossy manner at my friend to get it and my friend was busy trying to make her son go out with her and get it and the floatie went a little further and further. Meanwhile, Ali's incessant screaming and crying freaked out the little kids, one of whom started crying too. Finally, my friend went out to her chest and got the floatie and her son got in big trouble for refusing to help her and throwing it in the first place. I tried calming Ali down and explaining that it wasn't the end of the world if we lost a floatie and she would be punished for such extreme hysterics if she did it again. I was emotionally worn down and embarrassed by her behavior and at a loss as to how to deal with it and with her. Later, chatting with that same friend on the beach I said, "I don't know why she's pulling this drama queen thing lately. She's paranoid about balloons flying away, her brother going close to the gate at our house, and always cautions me to be careful driving. I wonder if I could be modeling it or encouraging it?"

Then I got to thinking about how scared I am of the kids getting out on the street or running in parking lots and how often I backseat drive and tell King Jo to slow down or to be careful on my parents' somewhat rickety bridge. Am I modeling paranoa for my children? While I may not scream and cry tears, are my serious lectures and vehement warnings rubbing off in a negative way, making her scared of the world?

I've been dwelling on these thoughts this week and realizing that some of what kids go through is developmental, and some is just personality related. I can't live my life thinking everything my kid does is a reflection of my parenting or of me. This breeds unhealthy parenting and I mentioned that the book Scream-Free Parenting covers this and states that we aren't responsible FOR them but TO them. I have fallen in the trap of pride and perfectionism of being horribly humiliated and angry and upset when my kids have hit other kids or refused to obey or listen in public and I feel like everyone must think that I'm a failure of a parent or that I'm not doing it "right."

However, even if our kids are innately sinful little humans who often act against what we are training them in and how we want them to act, I think we have a huge impact on them through our example. How appropriate that my devotional reading for today, out of "A Mom After God's Own Heart," included this poem:

A careful Dad I ought to be;

A little fellow follows me.

I do not dare to go astray,

For fear he'll go the selfsame way.

Not once can I escape his eyes;

Whate'er he sees me do he tries.

Like me he says he's going to be,

That little chap who follows me.

I must remember as I go

Through summer sun and winter snow;

I'm molding for the years to be-

The little chap who follows me.

Benjamin R. DeJong

Parenting is such a huge task! There's nothing like watching your children play and seeing "yourself" coming out in them. You know you aren't being a Christ-like mommy when your daughter is yelling at her dolls and being harsh with them! On the other hand, it's so precious to see them "disciplining" their little dolls in love or pretending to have devotions with them or tenderly wrapping them up and cuddling them.

If you've blown it big this week, be encouraged that you can start afresh; it's never too late. Lean on the Spirit to help you change your habits, patterns, and reactions.

Reflect on whether or not there is anything in your own life that you are modeling for your kids that you shouldn't be and determine to work on it. Join the Gentle Mothers Support Club by sharing your thoughts on this in comments section!

You all know that I am working on gentleness, something I truly want to model for my children but so often fail at. I also want to make sure that during this "panick mode" of Ali's current stage I am modeling trust in God and teaching her how to control her emotions (which is something we women continually struggle with throughout life.)

Frugal Thank-You Notes

You may recall one of my goals for Project Preparation was to have a large stash of baby thank-you notes on hand. While I'm not expecting to get many gifts with the third child or to have a shower, I know that our church will be supplying meals and a few people will buy Justus something since they just can't help themselves.

In our town, the supplies for making your own thank-yous are expensive. I could use regular construction paper but then I'd have to find envelopes that fit and stickers or stencils or something to decorate the cards with. I thought about taking some cheap wedding thank-yous I got at the Dollar Store and covering the front with blue paper and this poem to turn them into baby thank-yous. But that involves lots of work, something this tired Mama-to-be isn't interested in right now!

So, when I was browsing the Dollar Store today, a fast and easy idea hit me. I grabbed a package of pretty, baby-ish printer paper (45 sheets for $1) and brought them home and printed this sweet poem on the top of them. I can fill in the middle and bottom of the sheet with my hand-written thank-you and Ali can even help by coloring a picture on it. It's cute, cheap, and easy and I have tons of regular-size envelopes that I can easily stuff them into. Who says thank-you notes have to be little card shapes anyway? If we are surprised with a girl, the thank-yous still work, even if they are mostly blue. If we don't get many baby gifts, these sheets can be used as stationery for letters to friends having babies or can be used for baby shower cards, etc. If nothing else, Ali would love to cut and color on them so they won't be wasted!

This is what I call a frugal fix! Another thing to check off the list!!!

Baby Come Soon!

Both shots at 35 weeks, taken a week ago.

Yes, I'm still wearing that same shirt (above) and yes I'm still cutting off my head in these since I look like an absolute zombie in all the belly shots that are taken of me! Maybe it's the fact that I self-time them all? I may feel really, really tired, but the photos make me look even worse than I feel!
I technically have a little less than a month to go but am hoping for 2 or 3 weeks! I will meet the Doctor this Wednesday (hopefully) who will deliver the baby as my midwife can't deliver anymore due to the fact that the OB she worked under moved away. I'm not feeling overly uncomfy or strained, which is so very odd since I think I was huge and miserable for the last 2-3 months of being pregnant with Jer. I sometimes wonder if Justus is incredibly small or worry that he's not healthy since he's not very active and doesn't cause me nearly the pain Jer did. Of course Jer was sunny-side up some of the time which could have been the problem! Jer caused me pubic bone dysplacia and an umbilical hernia, back pain, neck pain, as well as me being so enormous I couldn't seem to do anything, let alone roll over in bed without extreme effort and extreme pain. This pregnancy seems "too easy" beyond the usual fatigue. So far I've gained about 12 less pounds with this pregnancy than with Jer's.



Thank you SO MUCH to those of you who said you'd be praying for me because of my fear and gave me verses of encouragement for labor. I plan to print them all out and meditate on them and have a list for my hospital bag. Thanks to Adrienne in OK for typing out 36 verses of encouragement for me in a comment on that post! Wow!

Making My Home a Haven Monday

Top Photo: Before
Bottom Photo: After

While my closet isn't nearly as minimalist as Crystal's, I did feel really good after going through it and getting rid of a couple of grocery bags worth of clothing I no longer wear. I still have what looks like a lot of clothes (and that's not even including my fall/winter stuff that's in our storage shed) but the various seasons and occasions of my life demand that right now. I have a maternity wardrobe, a nursing wardrobe, clothes for summer and fall and sweaters for wearing over dresses, clothes for a funeral, casual dresses, church dresses, etc. I also need to have more than a few outfits since I have a little boy notorious for wetting through diapers onto me and due to the fact that we share one washer and dryer with 14 other people in our building, we can't always do laundry when we'd like to.

I bagged up the maternity clothes that no longer fit to store, and pulled out some post-pregnancy clothing so it will be ready when I bring baby home. I finally got rid of some outfits that were emotional burdens (so-and-so gave me this so I need to keep it even though I'd never wear it in a thousand years....) and it felt really good.

CLEANING THE CARS

I've been feeling a zealous kick of organizing everything in our house. Whether this is the supposed "nesting" instinct or just the realization that whenever I have a little energy I'd better get my rear in gear and get my life de-cluttered to make room for a new baby I don't know but I'm loving the way it feels to have these little cluttered areas cleaned up! For instance, I don't know how long it has been since we deep-cleaned our cars, but it's been bugging me so much that I finally determined that they would get cleaned out today. My hubby spent a few hours doing most of the hard stuff and I vacuumed them, washed mats, and hauled a laundry basket worth of toys, missing socks, shoes, and hair clips in from the cars. Since my hubby is a carpenter that spends much of his days sanding, his car was absolutely filthy with a thick coat of dust and woodchips. We are switching cars until our van arrives since his car has A/C and the other car (my Honda) will be sold in a couple of weeks. I did not want to bring Justus home in an inch thick layer of sawdust so it was IMPERATIVE to me that the car get cleaned. What a wonderful feeling to see it all pristine and toy and crumb-free tonight! King Jo estimates it will last about a day since he knows what 2 little ones can do in one outing in one of our vehicles!

Other areas I've been crazily organizing:

The PIT PILE in my bedroom:

What is it about our bedroom that becomes the catch-all for odds and ends and junk? Besides the bassinet and a bag of diapers/hospital bags and stuff for post-birth, there are so many piles of junk in my room. Somehow I ended up with a gallon of window washer fluid in that corner along with some large speakers King Jo wants to sell, and a big stack of photo albums and frames that we aren't using that need taken to the shed. On top of this there is my growing thrift store pile, my hand-wash laundry pile, a basket of children's books, a pile of books to take to the used book store, etc.

I finally got sick of NEVER having that corner of the bedroom clean and organized and madly attacked it. After a trip to our shed and a trip to the thrift store and used book store, that corner will be completely junk-free and I can stash a laundry basket or something there to catch dirty baby laundry.

Our BOOKSHELVES:

I love books, but I'm realizing more every year that I don't need to hold on to all the good books out there. I'm also finding out that books I thought were SO IMPORTANT to keep a few years ago now hold no interest for me, not to mention that I don't have time to read them. So, I trade them in at the used store for credit to buy other books, on subjects like how to get babies to sleep through the night and how to survive toddlerhood, etc.

BATHROOM:

I recently went through and sorted out our entire bathroom cabinet and organized things and took stock of what we have. I forced myself to get around to doing the absolutely easy things I've been meaning to do that I haven't done yet like putting a pretty pottery mug on the bathroom counter to hold our combs and brushes, etc.

KITCHEN

My next task is to do a touch-up re-straightening of the pantry and go through all the kitchen cabinets and throw out utensils or gadgets I never use. I also want to organize my pots and pans in neater fashion because if I don't I know someone who will when she comes to visit and see the new baby!

To top it all off, I have actually dusted my home for the first time in who-know-how-long! Being pregnant causes you to let a lot of things go, but I feel like I'm catching up now all at once!

2 Counts of Bliss and Weird Pregnancy Dreams

Yesterday afforded me two wonderful treats. One was coming back from an all-day lake trip to get a message on the machine from my mom saying, "I'm pressure-cooking a roast and wondered if you'd all like to come over for dinner tonight?" and one involved the fact that I got a really, really nice nap thanks to hubby coming home a bit early from work and taking the kids for me so I could sleep off the lake-trip fatigue in my air-conditioned bedroom before eating a delicious dinner I didn't have to prepare!

One really strange thing is that during my nap I was dreaming hardcore about putting a huge piece of chocolate cake in the microwave to heat it up so I could drizzle caramel all over it. When King Jo shook me awake, I was in such a cake-focused state that I couldn't even remember where I was! Naps are very rare for me! Of course he had to wake me seconds before I ate it....

Then last night I was in a very deep sleep dreaming endlessly about desserts and brownies and how I was fixing up plates of them to serve to company and was enjoying having about 5 different things to choose from and sample.

Is this a sign that my body is craving brownies/cake/ice-cream or what? Oh well, it beats most of the crazy dreams we pregnant women have where they tell you will give birth to hamsters or you find out there are two babies and one comes out as a 3-year old and the other stays in utero for an indefinite amount of time......

Safeway Summer Savings Marathon #2

Well, the Savings Marathon is still going and I'm trying to hit it weekly and get the deals I can to roll the $20 over to another week and another week, etc.

Tonight I got a total of 29 items for $53. The total was well over a hundred but using my Safeway card brought it down to about $80 and I used about $7 in manufacter's coupons and then my $20 register reward coupon from last week. So, $53 spent, and out popped another $20 coupon for next week! I feel like I got some good deals this time on stuff we needed and will really use.

What did I get?

1 Chinese Dinner Kit Sweet and Sour Chicken
2 Crisp Crust Margherita frozen pizzas
8 boxes of General Mills cereal
2 boxes of Nature's Valley granola bars (hubby loves these for work)
2 boxes of Tuna Helper (can we say desperate and don't have energy to cook?)
2 jars of salsa
2 jars of Bertolli garlic parmesan alfredo sauce
2 bottles of salad dressing
1 large bottle of Palmolive
1 # cottage cheese
1 tub of Promise butter spread
1 6 pack of Scotch Brite dish scrubbers
1 package of mini hotdogs

I also bought a bag of Clementine oranges, some Ziploc BIG bags (which are on clearance and handy for storing baby clothes and blankets!) and some cotton swabs. These extra items added about $11 to my total, so I really technically got all of this stuff for about $40!!!

I wish they would have had the Sara Lee Bread at our store as it would have been nice to stock up on bread. Oh well, still some great deals and some easy fixes for those days when I don't feel like cooking (which is MOST days!)

Staying Home

The kids proudly show off their visors with bug stickers on them. These were their prizes for completing the reading program at the library this summer!


I overheard some ladies talking at swimming lessons today. One gal is about mid-fifties and works at a local public school. The other gal is about 40-45 and is due with her second child in less than 2 weeks and also works at that same school as a school psychologist. The first one was asking how much maternity leave the pregnant one had and saying she would miss her at work for the month of September. She made some comment about how the preggo mom would be "sitting at home enjoying herself" and then the preggo mom said, "It'll be so nice to get back to work. It's been nice having the summer off to do stuff and it's nice 'cause we can get out in the summer a lot but I couldn't be at home all fall and winter long. I'd go crazy. I have to work."



There I sat, feeling a little miffed and a little amused as I listened. These ladies, so typical of our culture, think being at home is "boring, unfulfilling, menial, and basically being lazy!" I chuckled to think how much work this mom will actually be doing once she has two little ones instead of just one to care for. I'm surprised to hear her talk about how her neighbor will be watching the kids all year, 40 hours a week, and how it's no big deal for her to drop her new, 2-month old off for the day and head off to work. I personally know the gal who watched her 2.5 year old daughter last year and I know that SHE was investing in this little girl as well as her own 3 kids and other babysitting charges, taking her to library, helping her go potty, running errands with her, feeding her, and watching her hit all the milestones while her mom was working.



How sad it is to see what a low opinion the world has of full-time mothers! I don't know about you all, but I'm certainly not bored and am busy as a bee! I think the sacrifices for staying home are infinitely worth it and that it's especially important in those early years. My parents drilled that into me as a kid. When my little brother would complain that we couldn't afford Nike shoes like his cousin wore my mom would say,"His mom works ALL THE TIME. You may not have name-brand shoes but you have a Mommy home with you all day." Years later, that cousin, who was raised by his Grandma and by daycare is now following in his mom's example by working all the time for material success and has a low view of family and marriage whereas my brother has forgotten about having Nikes and has followed my mom's example of pouring herself out for others as he evangelizes the lost in Honduras as a missionary.



While being a stay-at-home mom won't guarantee your children will be Christ-followers, I do believe it is a very, very important job with eternal significance and great fulfillment. While worldly women are chasing their own fulfillment in their careers and accomplishments, there are moms pouring themselves out to teach and to train their children in godliness and to "swim upstream" in our immoral culture. While there are days it might be overwhelming or days when we wonder if we will go crazy with screaming little ones or endless poopy bottoms, or days when going off to a job sounds nice, there are mostly days where I am so thankful that God has allowed me to be in this profession of full-time mommyhood because there is nothing I want to do more than this!





I guess I'd better finish this post so I can go put my feet up and eat Bon-Bons and watch soaps, after all, I'm a stay-at-home mom, isn't that what we do?

Safeway Summer Savings Marathon

I was so excited to learn from MoneySavingMom and the other Safeway shoppers on the web that the Summer Savings Marathon has started! I got so many great deals in the fall, I've been waiting for a super deal like this to come up again.

Here's what I got:

2 Packages Chex Mix
4 Betty Crocker Cake Mixes
1 Box of Cheez-Itz
1 Box of Jolly Time Popcorn
2 jars of Ragu Robusto Pasta Sauce
1 packet of Ragu Fresh and Simple Sauce
1 box of Raisin Bran
3 boxes of Frosted Mini Wheats
1 huge bag of Mission Tortilla Chips
2 large boxes of Kleenex
3 packages of Green Giant frozen veggies
2 containers (1 # each) of cottage cheese
2 bags of salad mix with lettuce, dressings, and nut toppings
1 box of Ziploc BIG bags (I wanted to try these and they were on clearance so I got them and love them for storing clothes and blankets!)

Total spent: $46. 79
Reward: $20 coupon off anything in the store for next time's shopping trip

So, in actuality I spent around $27 and got 26 items! Pretty good deals for our town! Woo-hoo! Can't wait to see what's on sale for the next week that are part of this same deal so I can use my $20 to buy more marathon items, thus causing another coupon to print off, etc. etc.

Conquering Fear Yet Again

It's inevitable in this stage of pregnancy that I will be dealing with an old enemy: FEAR. Fear comes upon me in the last month before a baby arrives as I contemplate what's ahead. With the first there is always fear of the unknown and the horrors that people tell you about but you truly don't fear as much thanks to lots of scientific research and reading and the plain old fact that ignorance is bliss. The second time my fear was very strong and I remember quoting verses to myself constantly in the shower during labor about not giving way to fear and instead trusting in God. This time around, you would think I would be relaxed and un-concerned, knowing that I survived 2 natural childbirths and my body knows what to do. But instead, I'm more terrified than ever since 2 times was enough to solidify in my mind that childbirth is TORTURE and there is something rapidly growing in my belly that is huge and has to come out eventually and it's neither fun nor easy!

I've been laying awake at night trying to figure out ways to cope as these thoughts swirl through my head:
*What if I can't do this?
*What if I freak out and become a complete basket case/emotional wreck?
*What if I can't get a grip on fear and it causes labor to be even more painful with the whole fear/tension/pain cycle?
*What if my mom is out of town when she's supposed to be around to watch the birth and help King Jo coach me?
*What if they don't allow me drugs?
*What if they do allow me drugs and they make me feel horrible?
*What if I count on a pain-free labor with drugs and then the epidural doesn't take effect?
*What if I get there too late for drugs?
*What if the baby comes too fast like with Jer?
*What if I have to undergo natural again?
*What if I don't undergo natural, will my baby be lethargic?
*What if I hemhorrage again and lose consciousness?
*What if the doctor doesn't get there in time? (Since my midwife can't deliver anymore right now there are only 2 options for OB doctors in this town and I have yet to meet either one so I definitely don't feel comfortable with them yet!)
*What if something happens to the baby?
*What if our baby isn't healthy?
*What if this kills me and I can't be the Mommy of my children?
*What if I have to have a C-section like my Mom did on her 3rd?
*What if I don't make it to the hospital in time for drugs and yet don't feel I can cope without them?

Now I know these fears may seem silly in retrospect and I should just pull myself up from my bootstraps and trust in God's sovereignty because He will give me the strength I need for EVERY situation! Women have babies every day and I've done this before and will be fine, no matter what happens. His grace is sufficient. It's crazy because I WANT it to be time for the baby to be born and I want him out of me, but I definitely dread that quickl approaching day too. I know it will be one of the best, most exciting days of my entire life as I meet a tiny new treasure God has blessed us with. But my physical body groans in anticipation of the pain (which you definitely DON'T forget instantly like they say you do when you see the baby).

Here are some things I'm trying to do to get a grip:

Memorize Scriptures that will remind me not to fear, but to trust.

Don't think about it! A woman at church with 4 young ones said she battled fear too (who doesn't if you've had all-natural births?) and she said the key is to not dwell on it. This means I should cease reading Pregnancy Guides late at night that give me nightmares as they describe the details of labor, bringing back painful memories, and avoid surfing the net looking for birth stories, etc.

Build a prayer team. It was really cool to call friends and ask them to pray in the past when we've been heading into a birth and this time is no exception. I want no less than a hundred people praying for me when I go into it, even if I have to call every prayer chain I know and blast the news on my blog and facebook that I'm going into labor. You'd better believe that I will pray for you too, if you ask me to, when it's your turn to face childbirth! I have already started asking God to call my friends to pray for me on that day whether or not they even hear or read that I'm going to the hospital.

Think of what's worse! This may seem a bit twisted, but I promise you, it helps me! In some weird way, it's like being thankful for childbirth because it really is better than a lot of things. Call it perspective. For example, I could be having an infected wisdom tooth/root pulled again when the anethestic doesn't work, which is almost as painful as labor but without the reward of a baby! Or worse, I could have a kid that has cancer or have suddenly lost my spouse! I could be enduring torture or rape for my faith as our persecuted brothers and sisters in other countries are, or could be watching my children murdered or kidnapped. I could be dying young of horrendous injuries or be sentenced to prison for a crime I didn't commit, etc. etc. There are so many things in this life more torturous than childbirth that it is humbling to think about.


Please keep me in your prayers and ask the Lord to help me conquer fear.
Please share with me any encouraging Scriptures that come to mind for my situation.
Please share any tips you may have on getting through childbirth! (No horror stories please!)

I'm always blessed by reading the blog, Amy's Humble Musings. When she was battling this intense fear of childbirth recently when she was expecting her sixth, she posted these quotes on her blog, which I plan to carry with me to the hospital.


What is thy only comfort in life and in death?
That I, with body and soul, both in life and in death, am not my own, but belong to my faithful Savior Jesus Christ, who with His precious blood has fully satisfied for all my sins, and redeemed me from all the power of the devil; and so preserves me, that without the will of my Father in heaven not a hair can fall from my head; yea, that all things must work together for my salvation. Wherefore, by His Holy Spirit, He also assures me of eternal life, and makes me heartily willing and ready henceforth to live unto Him.
How many things are necessary for thee to know, that thou in this comfort mayest live and die happily?
Three things: first, the greatness of my sin and misery. Second, how I am redeemed from all my sins and misery. Third, how I am to be thankful to God for such redemption.
~ The Heidelberg Catechism

Amy's Thoughts: Being assured of the greatness of my sin and misery is no problem right now. It wasn’t too long ago that women were grateful to make it through childbirth alive; now we all just want to make it through without too much pain. Times have changed. The good news, if it can be called that (since the Apostle Paul tells us that dying is gain) is that I’m not going to die—at least not just yet. The bad news is that I feel like it.

Place Your Guess--When Will Baby Come?

My hubby thinks I should do a baby poll on here to see if anyone can predict the day accurately when the little guy arrives. He said the winner gets the baby! (But of course he is kidding!)

King Jo guesses the baby will come on August 14th. Talk about negative thinking! After all, I'm due the 18th and I was 7 days early with Ali and 8 days early with Jer! I personally favor the 6th of August. What do the rest of you think?

And while you are at it, how big do you think he will be and how long? Since I had one 7 # 14 oz. baby and one 7# 12 oz. baby both about 20-21 inches long I have a tendency to think Justus will be 7# 8 oz. and 20 inches.

One more question: What do you think we will pick for a middle name?

Yard Sale Deals

There is no way to express how great yard sale-ing is in our town. It becomes addicting because the deals are so hard to pass up! I've tried to be really careful this year about not buying things that I will not use or that will just create clutter and be thrown out next year. And my goal this summer is to only spend around one hour at it when I go, during which I can hit about 6 kid-stuff sales and only use up about $1 in gas going a total of about 5 miles.

A new baby bib that will go in my baby gift stash (50 cents), a brand new washable bib cover-all for Jer (50 cents), new pacifiers (I hope Justus is a paci-baby), and a baby feeder for 50 cents (mesh thing you put fruit in that allows them to chew without choking when they are small infants.) I also got some educational kids videos for a quarter each that will be nice for those cold winter days ahead when Mama is sick of Ali choosing the same movie again and again each day for about 20 days in a row.

I've been looking for another glass bread pan and $1 is a great price! I now bake in only glass since my metal pans have been leaving metal flecks on the bread loaves. The dishtowel is new and a welcome addition to my stash which is growing quite ragged after only 5 years of marriage!

A gift wrap stash extravaganza! I wasn't planning on buying this gift wrap (Shiloh and Amy laugh because they know my weakness for cards and gift wrap stuff at yard sales) but as I looked it over, I was surprised that a grandma would sell an unopened stack of 40 sheets of gift wrap when she obviously had lots of family she could have used it for on holidays. I asked her why she was selling it and she said she had too much and wouldn't use it and she was SO DESPERATE for me to take it that she said, "I'll throw in a bunch of other stuff if you buy the whole box for $2." So, I got 40 sheets of new gift wrap in 20 different birthday/Christmas/wedding designs, 3 new gift bags, 2 new packages of tissue paper, 2 new rolls of Christmas ribbon, 2 Christmas ornaments, a huge bag of new stick-on bows, fancy sheared tissue paper, a new package of Christmas goodie sacks, and a package of gift tag stickers. What a deal! I won't need anything for Christmas now as far as wrapping stuff goes; no matter what kind of deals Walgreens has on Black Friday! She also threw in a free new Nalgene-style water bottle she wanted to get rid of and gave Ali a free toy.

I didn't take pics but the thrift store had stuff-a-bag-for-$2 day which allowed me to get a lot of nice things for hardly anything! I got two or three sets of summer PJs which Jer needed, some socks for him, 3T pants for Jer for next year, baby clothes for a friend who needed some, shoes for Ali, baby towels for Justus, etc.

At one sale I went to a girl handed me a garbage bag and told me to stuff it full for $1!!! I had gotten there at the very end so I missed all the good stuff, but I saw the folks who had gotten there before me heading off with 7 huge bags full of girls' toys and stuff! I did find a bunch (10-15) of beautiful bow hairclips in a rainbow of colors so our bow supply is adequately stocked which is nice since Ali somehow managed to lose half of the ones I made a while back. And since that's all I could find to buy that I wanted she only charged me a quarter!

My very eco-conscious neighbor also started a Free Market every Sunday which is like a free yard sale in the park. So, there is no lack of clothing/toys/books, etc. in our town for anyone who wants it!

Investing in Alathia Update

For those of you who are wondering how I've been doing with Ali lately I will say that it has been a really good week. We still have our clashes and there have been a couple of times where I've lost control of my emotions but for the most part, once I committed to making this a priority, I've noticed myself being more careful in the way I talk to her and about her. I have found it a lot harder than I thought to implement some of the ideas I had for spending time with her due to this last's week schedule. The tea party I was anxious to have with her hasn't happened yet and everytime I'm cooking it seems she is off riding her bike or playing outside. *Little confession: I also try not to cook much these days so that limits her being able to help out too!

However, swimming is still going for another week and I DID take her on a fun mother-daughter date today. I let her choose whatever flavor ice-cream she wanted at the TCBY in the gas station and she picked Rainbow. Then we headed to the park where she ran around and played and I watched her and pushed her on her favorite swing. She had so much fun and all day she was talking about how she was going to go on a "date" with Mama. I definitely will have to make these special times together happen frequently, especially with a new little one taking up a lot of my time and attention in the future.

Just trying something a little new together and having some relaxing time to chat without other responsibilities pressing really helped me to focus on what a beautiful and special little girl I have and filled me with gratitude for the treasure she is in our lives.

I've been making an effort to include Ali in more hugs and cuddle time and keep things fair with the kids and making sure she knows I love her lots. Jer is still more prone to cuddling for long periods of time but now if she's in the room I make sure to invite her to join in and she hasn't been too bad about wiggling or hurting me this week.

While we still keep busy with friends and pool parties in the yard to cool off I'm finding myself slowing down in the activities I do and looking for the easy options. I don't walk or bike nearly as much now and I take advantage of every opportunity to get a free meal (my folks have been in a grilling mood lately and often make extras and invite us over much to my delight!) and to avoid housework like dishes at all costs! I try to shop without the kids now as it's just too exhausting, especially since they never fail to throw screaming fits in Safeway for some reason (no other stores, just Safeway!) Slowing down and not trying to do too much really help me stay less irritable during this stage of pregnancy, which in turn helps me deal with Ali in a more Christ-like manner.

One funny Ali story:

Perhaps Ali will work in the Justice system someday. After all, she absolutely understands right and wrong. She DEMANDS what she has earned. What am I talking about? Well, on the way to Grammy's one night she hollered in the car, "Now, don't you forget my two spanks!" She reminded me when we got to Grammy's to give them to her right away much to Grammy's amazement. We had been at a pool party before leaving for Grammy's and she had hit her best friend over the head with a kickboard, as well as not obeying when I said it was time to leave. She knew that she had been wrong and deserved consequences and knowing how forgetful Mama is during pregnancy, she demanded that I remember to give them to her and get them over with! The same scenario happened the night before too when she sternly told me, "You get yourself into that kitchen and you get the spanking spoon and give me my spanks RIGHT NOW!" I was speechless. I was shocked that she was ordering me around in such a bossy tone (like mother, like daughter?) but even more shocked that she would ORDER me to spank her! Isn't parenthood something?

The Ranks of Motherhood

The other day a fellow mom at the swimming pool was quizzing me on what it's like to be pregnant with #3. I answered her questions and then inquired if she was thinking about having a third. She said, "Well, there's no thinking about it now! I just found out yesterday I am!" I reassured her that she would be fine and gave her all the encouragement I could give even though I'm sure she notices my tired waddle, my yawns as I sit in front of the fan near the bleachers, and how busy I am hanging on to two little ones in the locker while lugging around a belly. I thought about how I act the same way with moms who have recently had their third. I'm always asking them all kinds of questions about the logistics of surviving when you have 3 kids 2 years or less apart.

It's almost like I've joined new ranks: The "I Have 3 Kids Club." There seems to be a realization among women that as you go up in number of kids you go up in some mysterious ranking in wisdom, experience, capabilities and possibly insanity? For instance, there is a mom who comes to swimming lessons who has 5 children, 3 of whom are in lessons, and two of whom are very young (one is still a nursing infant and one an active 1 or 2 year old.) I look at her and just think, "Wow! How does she do it? She must be soooo strong! How did she get through 5 pregnancies?" Moms like that are my heroes! Then there are the moms who have 10 or more kids and they boggle everyone's minds! Anyone who has had 2 kids knows the endless work involved and thus we have trouble comprehending how these moms do it! Anyone who has delivered at least a couple of babies and knows the pain involved in labor (especially natural childbirth) assigns respectful awe to women who have undergone that many, many times! And bonus respect points if your husband works a lot, is gone a lot, you had bad morning sickness or uncomfortable pregnancies, you adopted, or you homeschool or work full time! This doesn't mean moms of one or two kids don't work really hard. They work constantly! Yet, just as you build muscles with weight training and gradually add more and more weight, so also the more kids you have, the more disciplined you have to become as a mom and the harder you work in so many areas unless you want to live a life of complete chaos. Not only do you grow more as a mother and home manager with each child you have, you also learn to lighten up and relax on the things that aren't truly important. I get a kick out of Amy Scott's blog, www.humblemusings.com. Read her posts in the Babies category for some great advice on surviving life with 3 kids 3 and under. She now has 6 kids 10 and under, homeschools, and has a great sense of humor!

There is also a certain safety in talking with other moms who have the same number of kids you have. When I had one child, I sometimes felt like the ladies at church looked down on me in a child-like, head-patting way and were forever giving me comments like, "If you think motherhood is hard now, wait until she's mobile. Or wait until she's a toddler. Or wait until you have two, etc. etc." It was so nice to chat with my buddies who had one baby as well and compare our struggles and challenges and joys as well as discussing getting pregnant again and all of our fears and excitement over having #2 without feeling like we were wimps because we were plenty busy taking care of one baby. It's funny because now that I'm going for #3, most of the ladies in the church have no more advice to give since many people in our church have 2 kids. Those that have 3, or the rare ones who have 4, who give advice now pass it on respectfully as one warrior would to another and I welcome it gladly! And everyone and their dog feels the need to say to me, "You're gonna be BUSY!!!" Like I didn't know that and I like I'm not busy now!

Stay tuned in the coming months for updates on how we're making it work with 3 little ones! I have a feeling that I'll have a lot more energy than I do now; I've always felt better non-pregnant on no sleep than pregnant on a full-night of sleep! In the meantime, if you have 3 kids or more, please leave your Heroic Advice for me in the comments section!

Kid Funnies

One evening the girls decided that they wanted to have big tummies like me. Here are their "pregnant bellies."
The girls have abandoned their tea party. It's time to move in and chow down on this watermelon! (notice the watermelon seed under his eye!)

At Heather's request, I decided to do another kid funnies post!


Ali always asks me if she was in my tummy in the picture on my bedroom shelf. It's a wedding pic of Josiah and I. I always explain that back then we didn't have ANY kids. She says, "Where was I?" I say, "You weren't alive yet." She said, "Was Grammy babysitting me?" "No." "Was I dead?" "No, God hadn't made you yet! First people need to get married and then God makes their children." "Oh, okay. Now you have me and Bear-Bear and now we're married!"



Ali was trying to tell me something a neighbor had said to her the other day. She wanted me to be sure I knew who she was talking about. She described her to me as the red girl with the really, really big tummy! I'm so glad our neighbor didn't hear her since our neighbor wearing the red shirt is NOT pregnant!



Ali told Daddy she loved him and she wanted him to give his usual reply back. But his mouth was full of toothpaste so it sounded like, 'wwa wuv woo.' She said it again and he mumbled again. Finally in frustration, she said, 'Daddy! I want your mouth to say 'I love you!''



Ali ran into the hall in a panic one day. She didn’t realize I was watching them from the hall and that Jer was at the other end of the hall. She cried, “I can’t find Bear-Bear! He’s maybe killed!” (Can you tell we have given them stern lectures about what might happen if they go out of the gate and get in the street?)



There’s been a lot of saying sorry and forgiveness going on around here. I often hear little apologies going back and forth when the kids are playing. Jer is very quick to say “Saw-wee” and give gentle hugs if he does something mean or accidentally hurts Ali. Ali has some interesting apologies. One day she said she was sorry for breaking my pretty tulip and I told her I forgave her. She then told me she loved me too, and that she forgave me! She often does that! One day I heard her telling Jer in the bedroom, “I love you Bear-Bear. But sometimes I’m naughty and I shove you down.” Jer replied, “Oh-kaaaaay!” It was sweet!



Ali told me today that if you don't wear your seatbelt you die. But she said, "I don't die because I always wear my seatbelt!"



Ali noticed my cup of raspberry iced tea sitting on the table and informed me, "If you leave your juice out it will spoil. So, I'm going to drink it for you so it doesn't spoil."



Ali told Daddy, "When I get big I'm going to be a Mama and a doctor is going to put a baby in my tummy. But my baby isn't going to be Justus. It's going to be a girl."



Jer copies everything Ali says. One of their favorite things to yell with big smiles when Mama mentions a nap is "NO NAP! NO NAP!" He copied one of the neighbor girls tonight and now says "mucho" and it sounds so funny in his little baby-talk accent. They thought it was very funny and cute! Leave it to the second kid to have all the "naughty" words memorized thanks to an older sibling. He loves to holler for chips, candy, ice-cream, pie, cookies, etc. One of the neighbor girls taught Ali the word "Heck" so we've been working on training her NOT to say that. When I heard my little guy yelling "Heck! Heck! Heck!" one day, I knew Big Sis had been up to no good! Jer has also started copying Ali's routines. Tonight before bed, he was saying, "Taco! Taco!" I realized he wanted to be wrapped in a blankie taco like Ali is every night. He also says "Baby Duthis (Justus)" and will say this and point to my tummy, telling me he wants to kiss the baby bump at night like Ali does. One night when he was hugging/kissing my belly, Justus kicked his cheek and he got this big grin on his face, like "something is alive in there!"



Every day and usually every night Ali asks the same questions over and over. I've given her the answers a hundred times in several different ways. Her favorite questions are: Why did Auntie Kika get bit by a spider? Why did Uncle Goo Goo (Grant) fall out of a tree? (Good question, Ali!) Why did Rico (my dad's horse) get a sore on his leg? Why did Squirt (my mom's gerbil) die? Why did the boy who didn't wear his seatbelt die? (a recent car accident in our town where a man my age was killed.)

Freezer Meal Progress

Last week, I mentioned here how my freezer meal progress was going. I'm really liking this gradual adding to the freezer as it's less stressful than trying to do a mega cook-off weekend with little ones in the household. This week I've added a few things to the freezer:

*Grilled chicken breasts (6 large ones). Chicken was on a good sale and I was using my folk's large, fancy grill to make supper for some cross-country bikers (friends of friends stopping through town for the night) so I bought an extra package and threw it on the grill at the same time and now have a bag of yummy grilled chicken to use for post-baby meals!

*3 bags of cooked mac n' cheese. I normally make the homemade kind but the kids enjoy the box kind too and it was on a good sale. So, for lunch one day I made 4 boxes instead of 2 and froze a few bags for quick lunch food for the kids post-baby.

*One large roll of yummy cookie dough. A new recipe I got from my hippie neighbor that is absolutely delicious! I doubled the recipe and froze half for some quick treats to have on hand.

*One bag of cooked brown rice. I plan to freeze more rice too but one bag is a start! It will be quick to reheat this in the microwave and throw some veggies on top for a nutritious lunch or dinner when I'm breastfeeding!

*Two frozen containers of Ravioli. I bought a 10# can at Wal-Mart since it was so cheap and froze two containers full as well as serving it for dinner and lunch the next day. It will do for a quick, kid-friendly lunch.

Goals for more meals/fixings:

*Get at least a few bags of bread dough in the freezer. Also some pizza dough for making homemade pizza. I would normally make the pizzas up completely (homemade frozen pizzas) if I had a big freezer to work with, but to save space, at least having the dough ready will save a lot of time for me in post-baby days.

*Get more mac n' cheese frozen as well as a few bags of cooked pasta this week.

*Stock up on canned chili, some canned soup, cans of Chow Mein, and frozen veggies.

4th of July Fun

Ali tries sparklers for the first time!

The fire trucks finish off the big town parade by spraying everyone down! This year was the wildest one yet as I've never seen the firetrucks go so crazy and have an all-out war of the water, causing the main street gutters to become flowing rivers of water! Getting sprayed feels so good!


The kids did well in spite of staying up really late two nights in a row and enduring 3 big picnics in 24 hours, tons of fireworks shooting off, and a huge parade and playing in the water at two of those picnics!

How King Jo Almost Lost His Job on July 4th

Have I mentioned that our town goes absolutely nuts on the 4th? Firecrackers and fireworks go off non-stop all day, but especially from about 7-12 p.m. People spend hundreds of thousands on fireworks here. Because of the rodeo and the huge town parade and the picnics and the firework show the night before the 4th, this is one of the most fun places to live on the 4th, if you like noise!
However, it can also be extremely dangerous! One piro-neighbor of my parents' shot off a firework that ignited the field that borders my parent's property. My dad's wood shop was just a few feet away from the fire! His shop is huge, and full of expensive tools and untold quantities of lumber he sells and builds with, and it's not insured! If they had lost the shop, King Jo would have been out of a job and my dad would have been hurting badly business-wise!

The firetrucks came immediately and got the 4 ft flames put out immediately. They said that had this occurred just 2 weeks later, when the grass was a bit drier, the shop would have no doubt burned to the ground.


After the fire was put out, the cops and my dad noticed that a portion of the fence was broken near there. From looking at the broken glass and the tire tracks, it appears that someone was driving fast down the alley towards my parent's property, saw the fire and was watching it on the left, and not paying attention, missed the corner and rammed into the fence, busting out their windshield. Since the fence-buster immediately drove off, they have no idea who it was. The screech of the car and the crash into the fence alerted my dad to the fire as he was working in the wood shop at the time. Also, one of my brother's friends, most likely the guy who accidentally started the fire who lives nearby, called him to alert him about the fire too and he woke my mom. All the neighbors came out to watch the firetrucks screaming over to the fire and many people thought the shop itself was on fire due to the amounts of smoke over the shop.
What an exciting 4th of July for my parents! On top of it all, my friend's dog bit my mom's hand during the big 4th of July parade because it got tangled up and got panicked. It bled a lot and freaked us all out but it turned out to be a small puncture. It turns out one of my best friend's kids, Elijah, got bit by a random dog at the parade too!
I got hit by a firework on the 4th, one of those flying spinners that flew towards my friend's house, bounced off her chimney, and straight at me, but I deflected it off my watch when I raised my arm up for protection, which caused my pastor to start calling me Wonder Woman. My watch is no worse for the wear and I'm glad we all made it through the 4th alive this year!

Reader Question

An anonymous reader says,

I hate babysitting and have been asked several times lately. I feel so guilty saying no, for the second time, to one particular friend. But I HAAAATE babysitting. Hate it. She suckered me into it one day, tacked on another, and is trying to weasel one more out of me. How do you say no to someone who isn't getting the hint?

Dear Unhappy Baby-sitter (my hubby came up with this line),

This can be hard, and especially sticky if it's a close friend. I've been there! If you find yourself unable to bring it up in person face-to-face, perhaps a tactful card or e-mail would be an easier way for you to express to her that you don't enjoy babysitting and don't want to do it again for her, at all, unless it's a true emergency. Something I've done is make a rule for myself that I WILL NOT commit on the spot, but instead will tell her I will think about it/pray about it and talk it over with my hubby. I used to be the jovial, people-pleasing type that responded with "Oh sure, that should work out!" only to realize that A.) I usually had something else on my schedule that conflicted with it and B.) I dislike every minute of it!

By talking it over with my husband, I leave the final decision in his hands. He knows I don't like to do childcare for others and he knows my limits and thankfully can be the leader aka the "bad guy" when I go to my friend and say that King Jo said I can't do it or he doesn't think it's a good idea for me at this stage in my life. Since I've been implementing this things have been so much better in this area. I used to think that I SHOULD take these babysitting offers because of the extra money and because the friend asking would think I was lazy if I didn't since I don't have an outside job like she does and only one or two kids! Now, I don't care what others think about me; if I don't like it; I don't like it!

I doubt I will have many people asking me to babysit this fall when I have a new baby and 3 total kids of my own in a small place, but if they do, I've decided that being honest RIGHT AWAY is best for both me and the poor mom desperately looking for childcare. Instead of saying, "maybe" or "we'll see" or "I'll think about it" and dreading having to call them back my new answer that I know my hubby approves of heartily is, "I don't do any babysitting for hire" or "I have enough on my plate that I'm not interested in doing childcare right now" or a flat-out, "Sorry, I can't!" Make this a pattern and spread the word to your working mom friends in a nice, casual way even before they ask so they know where you stand and don't ever even have to ask!

If your friend is really close and you would like to help her predicament; ask around and collect the phone numbers of ladies who do babysit. I ended up doing this for one of my best friends and she got matched up with the perfect lady who loves my friend's kids and loves watching them so now she doesn't have to ask me anymore!

If your friend doesn't take a hint at all and keeps bringing her kid by or begging, you may have to put some really tough love into action and let her know firmly in person that enough is enough and you won't be there in the morning if she tries to come by and leave her child!

It's important for you to deal with your guilt, as I had to do, and realize that saying no to babysitting jobs does not mean you are lazy or selfish. You are under NO OBLIGATION to raise another person's child! Sometimes babysitting other kids can hamper the attention you give to your own family and that's not right. I know some women who love to babysit and do childcare and they are really, really good at it and my working mom friends are ever so grateful. But I don't have to apologize for NOT being gifted in that area and for seeking out other ways of spending my time as a homemaker. After all, the choices my husband and I have made have enabled me to stay home by God's grace. The families I have babysat for make much more money than we do and if they chose to live as we live, they could stay home with their kids too. So, if they think I'm "lazy" or "spoiled" for being home or for only having to care for my one or two or three kids each day, than they have no idea how much work it takes to be a good homemaker, teacher of your children, and home economist, stretching a one-income budget! We have chosen this lifestyle and have had to sacrifice for it, so I no longer feel guilty saying no to those who might try to change this lifestyle through asking me to take on more work, more frustration, and more responsibility than I feel capable to handle. I realize some moms have to work or choose to work and therefore it's their responsibility to find safe childcare with someone who ENJOYS doing it!

Of course I'm all for babysitting friend's kids in the event of a true need or a once-in-a-while thing. The babysitting co-op was fun and was a great way to get some nice time with my hubby for free in exchange! I definitely need my other mom friends too when it comes to having a Dr. or Dentist appointment and needing them to watch my kids for an hour and then I will of course return the favor! This is a totally different thing than watching kids on a regular basis for pay.

I'd better sign off on this post. My hubby, who was giving me a nice shoulder massage while I typed this, is making non-stop cracks about me being "Dear Abby!"

Operation Invest-in-Alathia

Being a Mom is wonderful, but so humbling and hard sometimes. As you all know, I'm really working on being a gentler mother and I've enjoyed sharing that journey here and learning along with those of you who read my blog and want to be gentler with your kids too.

On top of practicing gentleness, I've recently become painfully aware of some really destructive trends in my life regarding how I'm mothering and handling Ali. Because her personality so often conflicts with mine and she has always been one to need constant discipline and direction, I have a tendency to just always be on the offensive with her. You could call it harsh, unfair, short-tempered or whatever, but I can see myself doing it regularly. It's so much easier to handle my easy-going Jeremiah as he loves to cuddle and hug and lays in my lap quietly, soaking up attention. This causes me to gravitate towards him and often seek out hugs and cuddle time with him, but leaves Ali on the fringes, no doubt feeling like she's "chopped liver." She is a very stocky, strong girl and she will jump on my lap and cause all kinds of pain and discomfort for me. She can't sit still for more than a few seconds and is always squirming and poking, and therefore I often protest her sitting on me and shove her away. I wish I could show her that I love her just the same as her brother, but I feel like the entire day long I'm chiding and disciplining her and she goes from one time-out or spanking to another and my frustration just builds with her to where she no doubt senses that I really don't like being around her a lot of the time. Because I've had to deal with so much whining, so many tantrums, so many fits of bad behavior and so much violence towards her brother ("I'm just pretending to poke a hole in his head with a stick Mom!") or other kids, I just feel like a drill sergeant who will snap at the slightest thing she does, lest I give her an inch and get burned.

My heart's cry is to change my destructive mothering patterns and to be the very best Mama that Alathia Joy needs, with her unique gifts and personality. I know she is very intelligent and advanced for her age, and I know that God gave me this unique child for a reason and He can use her talents and personality for His glory. I'm often at a loss as to how to deal with her but I trust that as I seek the Lord, He will lead me. I definitely can't do it in my own strength.

One thing that has really helped our relationship is going to swimming lessons. I've been dropping Jer off at my mom's to sleep for his morning nap during the lessons. I chat with other moms and wave to her as she swims and then we talk about her fun and accomplishments in the locker room and in the car. It also helps her to have something active to do each day and helps her be more obedient. She's a perfect angel for her swim teachers and even went off the diving board, with their help, last week!

I've talked with my husband about my great need to build a better relationship with Alathia and he prayed that I might be able to invest in her. Thus the title of this project. (Have you noticed that I have to have these big fancy names for the goals/projects in my life?)

Here are some ideas I have for investing in Ali. This is just a starting point:

*After putting Jer down for his nap, let Ali choose a book to read with me before her nap, giving her some one-on-one reading time for a few minutes.

*Make a point to have her help me do one task for lunch and one task for supper. Instead of letting her run around outside or shooing her out of my way all the time because she slows up the process, ask her to set the table or help make the sandwiches, etc.

*One thing I've recently done is made Ali a chore chart with stickers and she loves cleaning up in the mornings and getting her sticker! This has helped me be less frustrated with her stuff all over; it's been much cleaner in her room!

*Let her bike more with me. She recently took her first and second rides to the park a mile away on her very own little bike with training wheels and LOVES it! Allowing her to bike alongside me is a great confidence-builder for her. It can be VERY stressful for me though as I'm constantly harping on her to stay close to the curb and freaking out when trucks whiz by and she is drifting towards the middle of the street!

*Continue to try to have some special one-on-one time with her. When I first started my home-management binder I wrote on my list to have a Mother-Daughter Date with Ali monthly. We've done some things together like go swimming or go out for bagels and she loves it. I'm thinking that I need to shoot for weekly instead of monthly at this point in time since I really want to work at conveying my love and encouragement to her right now. Even if it's just a trip to the grocery store without anyone else, just me and her, I think she enjoys it.

*Be more careful with my speech, to her, and about her when she is listening. I used to hate it when my cousin told me how awful her little girl was when she was sitting right there with us at age 3. I thought it was so mean, and yet I catch myself doing it, whether venting about what naughty thing she's done lately on the phone to my mom or being harsh in the way I talk to her directly.

*Avoid labels. I got this concept out of Scream-Free Parenting and it's so important to remember. Labels can be self-fulfilling or at the very least, confining to a child. Ali isn't my bad child or my difficult child. She is very spirited and has a strong will and gift for leadership but she often does behave and act like a lady too. It was so encouraging to hear my teen brother, who rarely has a compliment for me, say that my kids are very well-behaved kids! He's around his friends' children all the time and he says they are brats compared to his niece and nephew! He's not one to flatter at all ( in fact he's the type that loves to try to irritate me and needle me, "How come you get so HUGE with your pregnancies Lindsey? None of my friends' girlfriends/wives get as HUGE as you!") so I don't take this compliment lightly!

These ideas may seem simple to those of you who have very easy-going little daughters. Parenting may seem like a cake-walk to parents of kids who are more compliant. If we so much as look cross-eyed at Jeremiah sometimes he will burst into tears and after he's punished he always says, "Okay" in a little choking sob, showing his cooperation. Yet for this Mama, who is doling out consequences to her daughter 2 minutes after waking up every day, and dealing with spilled milk endlessly, accidents, "oopsies," mediating fights between siblings day in and day out, and constant requests for snacks or drinks it can be extremely tough to practice love towards a child who often challenges you throughout the day! Don't even ask how horribly I reacted and failed with her (wasn't practicing Scream-Free parenting at all!) when she locked us all out of the house on the morning of the 4th of July when I had a million things to do to get ready for watching the parade with friends!

A Beautiful Blog!

I've been waiting for my friend Heather to start a blog for weeks and now that she has I haven't been disappointed! As my craft buddy, and the inspiration behind many of the projects I've tried, I'm so excited to be able to read her daily thoughts and ideas for blessing my family.

Check www.blessyourfamily.net and add it to your list of favorites because it is chock full of fun ideas for homemaking, hospitality, mothering, cooking, etc.

The Gentle Mothers Support Club

Did you memorize Col. 3:12? I did, and after a couple of weeks of practice, I hope it will stick for a long time! I said it to my hubby last night.

My tip of the week on mothering with gentleness: Take care of yourself. I'm not talking about indulging yourself, pampering yourself, and being selfish when it comes to your family. I'm talking about giving yourself the basic necessary care so that your family can benefit from a more refreshed mama. Recently I started taking iron supplements and being better about taking my Super Mom vitamins and I notice a BIG difference. While I'm still tired because that's a part of being pregnant, I don't seem nearly as tired and have more energy to be patient and gentle. I've also been waking up earlier, perhaps due to the need to go potty or the sunshine coming into our room but I have been using this time before the family arises to read the Word and go through A Mom After God's Own Heart yet again. It is such a great book and chock full of reminders as to what our primary goals as mothers should be. My quiet times have slipped into various patterns over the years and stages of my life; sometimes being great big times with God and other times quickies. Sometimes focusing on prayer and communion with God for a season and sometimes deep study of the Word. Through the fall and spring I was mainly getting fed through my devotions WITH my children, reading the Word and praying, etc. I really enjoy having some quiet reflection time now ALONE to pray and give my day over to God. I'm sure once the baby comes I'll have some opportunity for middle-of-the-night quiet times while nursing!

The point is: Nurture your relationship with God in whatever fashion or time slot you are able to do and it will help sooo much. Throughout this series, I've emphasized how important it is to pray, pray, pray and to lean on God because we can't do this on our own. Parenting is tough! Parenting strong-willed children is very tough!

Also, nurture your body through good nutrition, regular exercise, and rest. I know we all know that we need to do these things, but it is hard to implement this when your whole day is consumed with the care of little ones. I sometimes forget to eat or put it off and I have paid big time once I get the shakies and feel sick and wiped out the rest of the day! It's much easier to fix processed food, but don't you feel like a garbage disposal afterwards? I do! I'm also convinced that sugar makes kids irritable even if people argue that it doesn't cause hyperactivity. For this reason, try to work out little habits of buying and fixing healthy snacks for you and your kids, taking walks with your kids or chasing them outdoors for some exercise, and going to bed at a decent hour. It will go a long way towards helping YOU calm down instead of becoming a screamer who reacts to your kids (which is saying THEY need to calm you down!)

My Sweet Little Boy

Jeremiah, also known as "Beanie," "Bear-Bear," "Jer-Bear," "Bear Buns," or "Jer-Bee"

playing Peek-A-Boo while swinging at Grammy's!

Project Minivan

Drumroll please........

Project Minivan is coming to a close! After configuring the budget here recently, King Jo has discovered that if we just save $20 in the whole month of July, our van is paid for! Yeah Hurray! God is good!

The great news is that we haven't included the money that will come from the sale of one of our other vehicles. So, whether we get a thousand or two from the sale of an older car, that will go into our Emergency fund to help beef it up. And...God still provided all the money needed for the van in spite of our Economic Stimulus check being $600 less than we had hoped it would be!!! I'm so excited! The van has made it safely to MN (King Jo's sister recently moved back for a few months and brought it up from Texas) and my father-in-law, who is a car nut is busy cleaning and waxing it and sprucing it up even more than it already is. It will definitely be the nicest thing we have ever owned!

It's so neat to see how God provides even when it seems that there isn't a way and you are a young, one-income family. Even though people may think it's laughable that my next goal is to have a 3 month's expenses fully-funded Emergency Fund and then eventually a decent downpayment on a home, I think that through God's provision, careful budgeting and money management, and perseverance, it can be done!

A Frugal Anniversary

This year was our 5th Anniversary and we decided it would be fun to have a weekend getaway without the kids since we have not been apart from our kids AT ALL since the day Ali was born. If I wasn't pregnant and if we had gotten more for our Economic Stimulus, we would have gone away for a couple of nights at a Bed N' Breakfast in the mountains or in the town nearby with the natural hotsprings. But, since my energy levels are zilch and we want to pinch every penny for our van, we decided to do just a simple overnight at home. The kids went to my folk's at supper time and we headed out to one of our favorite restaurants where we ate grilled paninis and salad on the rooftop. Yummy! We wanted to go to a show since we don't get to go to the theater more than about once a year, but the only one playing in town was Wall-E so we walked hand-in-hand to the video store 2 blocks away and each picked out one to watch. We had a relaxing evening eating ice-cream, watching movies, and exchanging massages. Then we got to do something we haven't done in a few years: SLEEP IN!!! We thought for sure we'd get up bright and early because of our internal clocks, but we didn't finally roll out of bed until about 10 a.m.! Then we headed to our favorite bakery for bagels and cream cheese croissants before going to pick up the kids.

It was fun, but strange to have a night off-duty as Daddy and Mommy. I look forward to eventually being able to go away on an overnight or two when I'm not pregnant and when the youngest is old enough to leave again. This one-nighter was the perfect amount of time for us as we both felt refreshed but also very anxious to see our little ones again. It was fun, but because we have a lot of time together during the week and a weekly home-date-night and (in my humble opinion) a great marriage, I really don't feel weekend getaways are necessary for us to have a great relationship though they might be a nice bonus. I think getaways will become more routine once our children are all elementary school age and up and we have less one-on-one time together due to kids that don't go to bed every night at 7 p.m.

So that was our 5th Anniversary "treat" and it only cost around $35 for a wonderful time together!

The kids had fun with Grammy and Boppa and got spoiled rotten of course!

*And this may seem lame to some of you but I told King Jo that for our anniversary gift to each other I would like it if we bought a term life insurance policy and got our will done! We've been meaning to do a will but have been putting it off for a long time. So, thanks to recommendations from Dave Ramsey, we bought the forms online at http://www.uslegalforms.com/ to do our WY will and plan to check out Zander Insurance and buy some this month!

Keeping Life Simple

Last week I had a day where I was utterly exhausted. I got up early to attend to some pressing chores, spent the entire day taking care of errands and activites and was overwhelmed with my cranky kids and my messy house. My son covered himself head to toe in spaghetti at supper, as well as the floor, and while I was bathing him after supper he stood up in the bathtub and proceeded to go poo a couple of times in the water much to my chagrin. After cleaning that icky mess up and re-bathing him a couple of times, I then turned the night-time routine over to my hubby so I could grocery shop for an hour, and visit a friend briefly who needed me. Then, I returned home at around 8 or 9 pm only to unload and put away tons of groceries and tackle an enormous dish mess that took over an hour to clean up as well as sweeping up the kitchen and cleaning the floor and bleaching out the tub and bath toys. By the end of the night (like 10 pm) I felt totally spent and like weeping! Oh, and I forgot to mention that our neighbors met me the instant I got home from grocery shopping and asked for yet another favor while I loaded in bags. I felt like everything was more than I could handle and life was just too hard. Thankfully my hubby took care of the neighbors (they wanted MapQuest maps for their vacation printed off of our computer) and he gave me a nice massage without me even having to ask and then I was able to relax with a fun novel for a while before bed.

However, during all these exhausting tasks of the day, I realized that a lot of my stress was MY fault. No one forced me to plan too much to accomplish in one day! I'm thankful most days aren't like that, and that things always look better in the morning after a good night of sleep and some fresh perspective. It's important to keep a sense of humor in it all and remember to lean on God and trust that He is not going to give us more than we can handle. It's hard for me to slow down, even when I'm pregnant, but I'm realizing more and more this month that I HAVE to! I have no choice as my body is filled with bone-numbing fatigue that makes me feel like it's more work to breathe these days and my body is moving in slow mo at all times.

What are some ways I'm choosing to simplify during this tiring stage of life?

1. Learn to say no! Learn that saying no for your family's sake is nothing to feel ashamed of! I think I will always be working on this principle. It's not easy! In the case of my stressful day, I was the only gal of several of our friends who didn't cancel out on going to another friend's birthday picnic. I, of course, had volunteered to make her favorite cake. When everyone cancelled and my friend was left home alone (with her hubby gone for 2 weeks) with her new baby and toddler, I felt like it was all up to ME to bless her on her 30th birthday and to take her a piece of the special cake I had made her, and to plan another party for later when everyone could make it. My friends are important, especially on their special days, and especially when they are lonely, but I need to learn to step back and JUST SAY NO even in cases like this where it is really hard. I should have NOT tried to do so much all in one day on top of blessing my friend. I need to learn to stop volunteering to plan everything too! A lot of times, I feel like if I don't, then no one will. So, I keep falling into the trap of planning mom activities or friends' birthday things and at this point in my life it is too much! I need to declare that July is no commitments month where I can attend parties and picnics but not plan them! I need to step back from having any company over for meals if it will be too overwhelming for me!

2. Let go of expectations! I can't stand our apartment to be too dirty or too cluttered but I can definitely live with things being more messy lately. I feel terrible because with the intense heat and my intense fatigue I haven't been making the greatest meals this last week and I have lost all motivation for new and creative meal ideas! My husband has got to be secretly thinking, "If I have to eat spaghetti, nachos, or mac n' cheese again I'm gonna throw up!" Please help me out by suggesting some simple and tasty meal ideas for the summertime! I've been tempted at times to dip into the freezer meals stash just because I think I'm more tired and unable to cook while hugely preggo than I am after having a newborn! One thing that always helps me is to remember that my neatest/cleanest friend in the world has admitted that she NEVER cleaned during the nine months she was preggo. She slept all the time and said her house was a mess even though she had no kids at the time. This is a gal whose house is the cleanest, most spotless, clutter-free house in the world (even with twin 2-year olds) and even when you drop in unexpectedly. If her house was dirty while she was pregnant, that gives me hope and makes me feel so much better!

3. Cut back on chores in whatever ways you can. I've started using more disposables on Jer, saving me some work with soaking and washing diapers, I've stocked up on paper plates, which helps cut back the number of dishes I have to wash each day, I've put a bunch of toys away in the shed so there are less toys to clean up daily (the kids like playing outside anyway!) and I'm letting some weekly chores go longer between (like cleaning the microwave out, mopping the floor, etc.)

4. Use the A/C. Some days we don't use the A/C at all and just open the doors and use the fan to blow air through. Or some days we merely turn the A/C on for 10 minutes before bed and our room is nice and cool throughout the night that way. But the last two days have been mid-nineties and I'm starting to roast! Even if A/C is expensive, it is so helpful to have to cool off. I notice a huge difference in the amount of motivation I have based on being hot or cool. Cooling off with some A/C wakes me enough to get a lot more housework and cooking done!

5. Limit my Physical Activity and Time in the Sun. I try to stay in the shade when we are at the park, or pool parties, or when the kids are playing outside. Thankfully our front courtyard to our building is very shady. I like staying active and getting some exercise, and it also saves on gas, but I've had to realize that if I do go for a walk or bike ride during the day I will pay for it in being a little more tired and less motivated than otherwise. I had no choice but to bike to swimming lessons today with the kids since one of our cars is out of commission today, but I don't plan to do it every single day, even if it's just a 10 minute ride.

6. Being SURE to Take Vitamins and Iron. Also, being sure I'm drinking enough! And not going more than a couple of hours without eating! I can be really forgetful about taking prenatals. I also probably need to take more iron than I do and part of my fatigue might be related to anemia as my blood volume grows with the baby. I had low iron levels in my last pregnancy. I've been really trying to drink enough and I'm committing to work on being more "vitamin conscience" in this last stretch of pregnancy. I also need to eat protein snacks throughout the day, because if I don't, I get really dizzy and shaky and so, so, so tired! I don't have gestational diabetes, but I think I'm borderline hypoglycemic, even when I'm not pregnant. Sometimes in caring for two little ones, you forget to eat, but I've found out the hard way this is NOT cool when you are pregnant!

Any Tips on Keeping Life Simple During Hard Times?