Being His En Gedi--The Comforts of Home

A sign the kids and I made to thank Daddy for his hard work in providing for us.
King Jo loves breadsticks, so we made him a special heart-shaped one.

We've discussed being our husband's En Gedi in attitude, with food, with friendship and affection, and in bed. Now we turn to the little comforts of home. These little things may fit into some of the previous categories, but they are all a part of homemaking. Whether you work full-time, part-time or are at home full-time, the home is the sphere of the woman and building "home" is part of our role. This doesn't mean our husbands shouldn't ever help out or share household chores. But it does mean that part of our God-given role as the Helper/Completer of our husbands is to be the keeper of a home. Personally, I think this is great fun! Ever since I was a little girl I loved re-decorating or re-arranging my bedroom, organizing and simplifying my stuff, and making things "homey." If you've ever seen the contrast of a Girls Dorm and a Guys Dorm or a Bachelor Pad and an apartment full of gals you can see and smell that men and women are different in this area!

What are some ways we can bless our husbands in our homemaking and create a restful oasis (En Gedi) for him?

*Ask him for help and input in setting up the house. Some husbands, like mine, will really get into this and have an opinion on where the furniture should go, which decorations they like, etc. Some guys could care less and will turn all of the decisions over to you.

*Quiz your husband on favorite colors/styles/themes. If your husband is a sports fan and not a cowboy, it would make sense to not decorate the living room in cowboy/western paraphernalia. My dad is majorly obsessed with hunting. So, this means that their living room is covered with bear hides, moose and elk heads, beaver pelts, deer antlers, etc. My mom has a very Northwoodsy/Lodge decorating style which works well with their log home and log furniture. Personally, I hope to never have an animal head hanging on my wall!

*Don't be afraid of feminine touches but don't overdo. You don't have to make your house look like a grubby sports bar or a mountain lodge in order to be a good wife. I think most guys appreciate our little feminine touches, whether that be lovely smelling candles, eye-catching color combinations, flowing curtains, wreaths or baskets, etc. However, be careful not to go overboard with doilies, lace, flowers, etc. I know someone who painted her entire room a very girly color and has the same color for her comforter and pillows. Every time I see it I pity her poor husband, who is actually a pretty macho guy, because I just can't picture him liking such a girlish bedroom.

*Find out his pet peeves in matters of the home and work to prevent them from happening. If your husband is really bothered by little things like squeezing the toothpaste from the top or putting the toliet paper in the dispenser a certain way, you can show him love by catering to his wishes. If he can't stand to see toys on the floor have the kids pick up before he comes home for supper. I tend to get interrupted doing dishes each day before I'm completely done and since I always save silverware for last (since I hate it) sometimes we run out of clean silverware. My husband hates not having a clean spoon for breakfast so I'm making an effort to always do spoons first and that way they get done every day. Your husband may like his pants ironed, a fresh towel every day, or the table clear of all paper piles. By honoring his preferences, you are honoring him and I'm sure he will be blessed!

*Use your gifts and talents to make a beautiful home. Into photography? Frame some of your best photos. Into sewing? Sew pretty napkins and table runners/cloths. Do you collect things? Set up a pretty display of your collection. Use your skills with painting, home decorating, art, bargain-shopping, gardening, etc. to make your home a haven. There are lots of great blogs out there that highlight creative ways to decorate or beautify our homes. http://www.thehomespunheart.blogspot.com/ and http://www.likemerchantships.blogspot.com/ are two of my favorites.

*Simplify and Organize. Cut down on the amount of stuff you own and you will cut down on what you have to sort, clean, organize and manage. Most husbands won't complain about a de-cluttered and tidy home. However, make sure not to de-clutter his stuff without his permission =) After purging stuff, containerize the stuff that you do want to keep in order to stay organized. For us this meant buying several plastic tubs for various sizes of kids' clothes and for my crafting/sewing/scrapbooking supplies and gift stash. Always be on the lookout for containers that can help organize your junk. Boxes, trunks, baskets, tubs, buckets, drawers, dressers, shelves, etc.

*Clean your home on a regular basis. Easier said than done, right? Any husband who has spent a day (or even an hour) home with the kids knows that perfection isn't possible and he won't expect your home to look like a spread in Better Homes and Gardens. However, having an inch of mold caking the rim of the tub, or having so much dust in the house that your husband's allergies go beserk won't exactly spell En Gedi to him. There are seasons of life where cleaning takes a backseat (pregnancy, having a newborn, sick kids, surgery, etc.) but overall, keeping the home reasonably clean and neat should be a priority. I have tried the index card system and the binder system for home management and both of them work very well! Find a system that works for you to help you keep up with the housework.

What are some ways you bless your husband through your homemaking?

Stay tuned for a guest post later this week by one of my talented friends who made her bedroom a beautiful haven.

Being His En Gedi in Bed

Our first kiss on the lips at the altar on our wedding day. We practiced the dip, without the kiss, beforehand. It was well worth the long wait!

If you were hoping for something juicy you will be disappointed! I'm not going into detail on this one (after all, my Grandma, my mother-in-law, my brother, and our youth pastor read this blog and there are some things that shouldn't be shared!) but I will provide you with some very good links to sermons/talks on this subject. Meeting your husbands' sexual needs is biblical (1 Cor. 7:3-5) and a great way to refresh and encourage him and provide him with En Gedi (Song of Solomon 7:3-5).




Listen to Carolyn Mahaney's gracious talk, "Sex, Romance, and the Glory of God: What Every Christian Wife Needs to Know." She covers Grade A Passion using the 5 A's: Being attractive, available, anticipatory, agressive, and adventurous.





Yet again I will put a plug in for Mark Driscoll's series on the Song of Solomon, "The Peasant Princess."





Some questions from Driscoll to discuss as a couple:


On a scale of 1-10 how am I doing at loving you outside of the bedroom?


How can I do better?


On a scale of 1-10 how am I doing at loving you inside the bedroom?


How can I do better?





Other notes from Driscoll's sermons:


Sex IN MARRIAGE is for:


*pleasure


*unity


*comfort


*procreation


*spiritual warfare





Great Teaching on Sex:


The 2004 Desiring God National Conference "Sex and the Supremacy of Christ."





This area of marriage is an arena to learn to practice unselfishness. It would seem that in most couples I've heard of there is one person who tends to be more passionate than their spouse. Don't make the mistake of assuming this is always the man because many a wife suffers from deprivation. The spouse with greater desires has to learn to compromise by not demanding to be together as much as they'd like and the less passionate person has to find the oomph to be passionate a bit more than they'd prefer. As Driscoll says, "Marriage is not for our happiness, but our holiness."

If you are in the habit of depriving your husband, perhaps there are deeper issues that need to be solved. If your husband has a porn addiction or you have been abused in the past or you are hurting one another with your own selfishness outside of the bedroom then these things need to be dealt with in order for you to be En Gedi sexually for your husband.

If you struggle with fatigue in caring for young children Carolyn has some good advice in the talk I linked to above. One quote from her talk, "If the baby has kept you busy all day feed him peanut butter sandwiches for dinner and give him great sex afterwards, and he won't complain."

Sex is a very important part of creating En Gedi for your husband. Temptations abound in our world today and in taking care of his needs in this area you will find yourself blessed too and you will strengthen your marriage against the schemes of the devil.

Being His En Gedi through Friendship and Affection

Part of cultivating a restful place for our husbands to recharge and relax is to comfort them with friendship and affection also known as love. This can be difficult to remember if all day long there are little ones tugging at you and demanding help with everything. Remembering to treat your husband as you would like to be treated goes a long way. Here are some things that come to my mind that could show him you care. Some of this may fall under respect and some under love, but my husband wants both, and I'm sure yours does too!

*Happy countenance. Greet him with a smile and a warm welcome. Encourage the kids to get excited when Daddy comes home.

*Focus on him. Do your best to not be on the phone when your husband comes home or to not gab on the phone with friends all the time during the time he is home. Don't ignore him by being glued to the TV, the internet, your book (oops!), your cell phone, your Ipod, or even your kids.

*Peace and quiet. Give him a breather before you unload the frustrations of your day or mention weighty topics. Encourage the kids to be quiet and not tackle him unless that's waht he wants. Serious discussions are best done when the kids are in bed since they don't seem to handle being ignored very well!

*Touch. Give him hugs and kisses throughout the day to communicate your love for him.

Minister to him through massage. Especially for those of us whose husbands work their muscles unceasingly all day long, massage can be such a comfort and a help to them when they are weary and sore. We exchange at least 3 or 4 massages a week as I have a bad neck and he often has a sore back.

*Do things with him. Some guys love just being in the same room with their wives even if they are doing two separate things (like playing on the computer and reading). Some guys enjoy playing board games, watching a movie together, or reading books aloud together. Spend time together, even if it's just getting different projects accomplished while in the same area of the house.

*Sharing in his hobbies. Take an interest in what he likes. This is probably the hardest thing for me as my husband really likes listening to music and I would much rather listen to theological debates or sermons all day long. I enjoy music and we both listen to Christian music, but we don't share the same passion for it and I don't like most of the same bands he does. So, if I sat down with him and asked him to show me some audio clips of some new bands he likes, he'd be in "Hog Heaven" (whatever that means!) We do enjoy singing worship songs together as a family when he pulls out his guitar and plays. My sister-in-law is a good example of this principle in that she actually sits down and watches videos of how to put an engine together with her mechanic husband. Some women curl up on the couch with their hubbies for a football or basketball game.

*Words of affirmation. My husband really enjoys verbal expressions of love throughout the day. I can tend to forget this and be like those guys who say, "Why should I tell ya I luv ya? I told ya at the altar and nothing has changed!" I've made an effort to be more expressive in this area and tell him I love him several times a day.

*Gifts. If your husband really appreciates little gifts, leave little cards or surprises for him in his office, lunch box, or dresser drawers. Buy him little things, and, if you can swing it, a big thing now and then to show him how much you care and how much he was on your mind.

*Listen. This is HUGE! Listen, listen, listen!!! It's not always easy and sometimes our brains want to be thinking about other things instead of listening to our husbands talk in vivid detail about the inner workings of our vehicles or the big hunt they went on but it shows respect and love to him if we can give our husbands our full attention. We listen to our girlfriends and we want to be listened to so we should be listeners too.

*Kind words. Who wants to come home to a biting, sarcastic wife who puts her husband down or makes jokes at his expense? It's okay to laugh with him over stuff, but if you are nagging, nasty, crass, or rude, you aren't providing your husband with a retreat from the harsh world.

*Don't treat him like a servant. It's shocking how many wives do this. They forget that their God-given design was to be a helper and a completer to the man and instead enjoy being the boss. We don't nag our friends or expect them to cater to our every whim so we ought not to treat our husbands that way either. It's fine to ask for help but do so with a gentle attitude and not as a Drill Sergeant.

*Speak well of him. Praise him in front of others (without being sickeningly sweet and annoying) and spread good gossip about him whenever you have the chance. Refuse to fall into the peer pressure of dissing on your husband or all guys in general even if all of your girlfriends are doing so.

*Talk! Share your own heart with him and be vulnerable. When a couple isn't spending time talking, it can be easy to drift apart. While you may not ever again have 6-hour marathon chats like you did during the courting/engagement stages, it's still important to have time to talk without interruptions and share your concerns, your fears, your joys, your plans, etc. To have a successful and deep friendship you must be willing to give of yourself through honest communication.

Did I miss anything here? I'd love to hear your thoughts on this topic. I definitely don't claim to be an expert or be perfect in all of these things that I am highlighting in my En Gedi posts. I have studied a ton of books on biblical marriage and I do have an amazing marriage that is beyond what I could have ever dreamed possible. These tips in my "Being His En Gedi" posts are by no means exhaustive but I share them because they truly do aid in having a wonderful marriage. I welcome your input here too! Many of the ideas in this post were taken from "The 5 Love Languages" by Gary Chapman.

Check out the previous two posts on this series:

Being His En Gedi

Being His En Gedi with Food

(Tomorrow's post will cover Being His En Gedi in Bed...)

Being His En Gedi with Food

In my first post on Being His En Gedi, I talked about how it all starts with a good attitude! Now, we will move on to food. What man doesn't thoroughly enjoy good things to eat? My husband has always said that if I threw a bag of Doritos on the table and called it dinner, he would be happy. He's not picky and doesn't complain. However, he does enjoy vegetables and whole-grain breads and having a good diet. He also really enjoys when I make a special effort to make something he is especially fond of! Here are some ways that I have tried to be En Gedi to my husband in the area of food:

*I don't make things he doesn't like. This has always been very simple for me since he's not picky and usually eats anything and is okay with trying new things. I honestly can't think of anything offhand that he truly doesn't like (except maybe saurkraut and I don't like it either) and so I don't have to worry too much about this. My mother-in-law has been a great example in this area in that she doesn't bring onions, garlic, popcorn, or spicey things into the house as my father-in-law can't bear the smell. Even though she would really like to cook with those things, she doesn't for his sake.

*In general, try to make things he especially likes. I don't enjoy hotdogs but always make sure to get some of his favorite kind throughout the summer to throw on the grill. For the most part we like the same foods and so we eat a lot of our favorites often.

*Special Spoiling. Every now and then I do "Spoil Hubby" week where I plan 7 days worth of his favorite meals and desserts. He loves it! Why don't I make every night a Spoil Hubby night? Well, because we're on a budget, I can't always buy the ingredients for his all-time favorites, and because of the pace of life, I can't whip up a pumpkin pie every day (and that wouldn't be great for our waistlines either!) Spoil Hubby week is a lot like eating out at a restaurant for a week straight, so it's more fun if it's rare and something he can anticipate!

*Snacks on hand. Snacks seem to evaporate into thin air around here because my kids are big snackers and my husband has a metabolism that burns about twice as much as the average male (or so it seems!) When King Jo is home, he's snacking every hour or two, and yet he hasn't gained a pound in 10 years! If I want his home to be a place of refreshment and delight for him, I know to keep these things on hand: honey roasted peanuts, saltine crackers, pears, apples, granola bars, Doritos, homemade peanut butter cookies, muffins or homemade bread, olives, jalapenos or pickles, tortilla chips and Pace salsa, and especially ICE-CREAM!!!

*Meals: My hubby gets up first and usually helps the kids get breakfast so that is a blessing. He's totally not a cooked-breakfast type of guy so a bowl of cereal is what he prefers (and hey, I don't mind sleeping in a bit!) Four out of five days a week he comes home for lunch and so I try to always have leftovers ready or something cooked up for lunch when he gets home. I love having him come home for lunch and the kids do too so I want to feed him well so he continues to do so and doesn't have to become a grab-lunch-at-McD's kind of guy (which is both expensive and unhealthy!) My goal is to always have dinner ready or almost ready when he gets home. There are rare occasions where we have been running errands or had something special going on where this doesn't happen, but normally I do because I always think about how hungry I would be if I was lifting house logs all day in the scorching sun. I usually ask him what time he will be home for supper before he leaves home on his lunch break, since it varies a little bit from day to day.

*Packed lunches: I used to have to pack lunches for King Jo every day when we were first married. For the first year of our newlywedded bliss I would put little love notes in his lunch each day. The guys at the lube place where he worked got such a kick out of his daily notes. Currently, my hubby only needs one packed lunch a week as he spends one lunch hour each week playing guitar with his buddy/accountability partner at our church. If he goes logging for work, which they do about once a week during the fall, I try to pack a very hearty lunch with lots of energy-boosting nutrients and some Gatorade or Propel as they are often working 12 or more hours on those days. I find that due to my hubby's early mornings and my zombie-like state in the morning I prefer to pack lunches the night before. I still try to do notes now and then to let him know how much we all appreciate his back-breaking labors.

I love to cook and have a lot of fun baking up desserts or bread or experimenting with new recipes. Of course, the reality is that it is a lot harder to cook with three little ones in our current stage of life. It takes planning ahead by mapping out meals and making a shopping list and trying to get all of the grocery shopping done once a week. During my morning sickness stages, my hubby has had to endure a lot of fast-food, sandwiches, and frozen dinners. If all of the kids are having a rough day or we've had lots of errands to run, meals around here are very simple. But, I am thankful for the way God has provided us with food/meals through the sweat of my husband's brow and want to bless him with good food!

Share your ideas on how you use food to make an En Gedi for your husband......

Being His En Gedi

One of the sermons I have listened to recently talks about how a wife can be En Gedi for her husband. I've heard this principle mentioned before in marriage books and have tried throughout our married life to make our home a place of peace and refreshment for my husband.

While I know my husband loves me no matter what and understands that life with 3 little ones can be chaotic, I still want to make an effort during this season of life to be and to maintain a place of refreshment for him. It's all too easy to just let life happen and let the kids' needs take precedence and if you don't proactively seek to build your marriage, you will find that it will naturally deteriorate. I don't want our lives to revolve around our kids and don't want our relationship to wither.

Making our home an En Gedi is easier said than done since our clean laundry seems to often flood the couch, toys often litter the floor, and our bedroom is cluttered due to lack of space and having to share it with Justus at night and Jeremiah during nap time. Of course I would love to have an enormous master bedroom with a patio overlooking the mountains, a hot tub or jacuzzi, and a cozy fireplace in front of a plush leather couch where we could retreat from the diapers and racecars and busy-ness of life. But since that isn't a reality right now, I have to figure out how to carve an En Gedi out of the things I do have.

Where it all starts:

I think making our homes and our bodies an En Gedi for our husbands starts with the attitude. What good is a spotless home if the wife in it is nagging/quarrelsome/easily angered? Maintaining an attitude of joy and greeting your hubby with a smile will bring him refreshment, even if the house looks like a tornado of junk hit!

Having an attitude of contentment and joy is only possible if one is cultivating a growing relationship with the Lord. "But let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. " 1 Peter 3:4 Our outer beauty may pass away but inner beauty is unfading.

Daily giving ourselves to the Lord, seeking Him, reading His Word, and asking for His help, we can grow in the qualities that can make our homes an En Gedi.

Love

Joy
Peace

Patience

Kindness

Goodness

Faithfulness

Gentleness

Self-Control

Thankfulness

Contentment

Respect

Stay Tuned for Coming Posts on Being His En Gedi.......

Smiley Guy

Well, I guess it was only in my imagination that Justus was feeling really heavy lately. With his diaper and his pajamas on he is still only 11#! My kids tend to grow a lot right away and then fall to the bottom of the charts pretty quickly and hover at around the 10-20th percentile. I'm not sure how long he is but probably around 22 inches.

Local Deals

Just a note to my 4 readers from this county:

D's has a really good deal this week. Buy a huge, frozen Stouffer's lasagna on sale for $10 and using the coupons from the sale ad, get a bag of salad, a loaf of french bread, and a half gallon of ice-cream completely free! $10 for a whole meal! Now would be a good time to take a meal to someone who is sick or going through a hard time. For $10, you could swing by the store and grab this deal on your way to their house!

Also, Pamida has all their toys on 40% off and many things throughout the store are on good clearances. I'm not sure if all Pamidas are participating or just the local one here. This is a great time to grab Christmas gifts.

Frugal Friday: Frugal Nursing Helps

*Any male blog readers will probably want to skip this post!

Nursing in and of itself is very frugal and doesn't require a lot of extras. So, the less you can get by with the better! Some women don't ever pump or don't need nursing pads or special shirts, and that's great! But if you do, here are some ways to obtain those frugally.

*Nursing pump: Borrow from a friend, look at yard sales while you are pregnant, or check-out the rental options at your hospital or baby store. I got a hand-pump one for my first baby and it didn't work so well and broke quickly. I borrowed an electric one with my second baby and found a brand-new, still-in-the-box electric pump for less than $2 at the thrift store for my third! I didn't/don't need to pump much but it is handy if you plan to leave the baby with Daddy for a period of time or if you get engorged. My ultimate tip is do not spend hundreds of dollars on a pump until you know if you can really nurse or not or will even need to use it. Borrow one for a while or buy one cheaply at a yard sale until you can figure out if it is really worth the investment!

*Nursing Bras: Nursing bras are a joke! At least that's my humble opinion. I once asked a friend who was nursing so smoothly and quickly, what her trick was. She replied that she didn't use nursing bras but used a regular non-underwire comfort-fit bra and just quickly pulled it up and let the baby nurse and then pulled it down. I have followed in her footsteps with all of my kids now! If you are quite large, you can pull the breast out of the center of the bra and nurse and then tuck it back in. Much, much easier and more flattering than trying to snap those nursing bras back into place without looking! Plus, nursing bras cost way more than regular bras.

*Nursing Pads: (Pictured above) Instead of actually paying for those uncomfortable, scratchy paper disposable pads, make your own in an hour! I got some clearance remnant fabric at Wal-Mart when I was pregnant with Ali and made 16 pads (8 sets) in an hour. I traced a CD or a wide-mouth cup on a piece of paper to get a circle the size I wanted. I put a circle of thick, white fleece between two circles of soft flannel. I just zig-zagged around the edge of the 3 circles a couple of times and they were done! These pads have held up through 3 kids so far and super comfy and cost me $1 total to make all of them!

*Nursing tank-tops: I just found this awesome tip at a site by Mrs. Fussypants (can't remember the exact link). Buy some inexpensive tank-tops (Wal-Mart currently has nice ones on clearance for $1). Cut a slit in each side of the tank top for your breasts. Wear the tank-top under another shirt and that way when you go to nurse the baby, you lift up the top shirt, but the bottom tank stays tucked in, hiding all that post-baby belly flab that otherwise sometimes makes an appearance! Much cheaper than buying a nursing tank for $30-$50 in a retail shop!

*Nursing Covers: Lots of great online stores and sew-at-home moms make cute nursing covers. Check out www.bebeaulait.com or www.newlittleblessing.com for some ideas. Basically, you can make your own by taking a lightweight cotton blanket or a good-sized receiving blanket and just sewing a strap on one side with a velcro piece on the opposite side so you can hook the strap around your neck when you are nursing, insuring that the baby doesn't yank your cover off.

Hope these tips make your nursing experience even cheaper and/or easier!

Doing Good To Your Husband

Girl Talk has been doing a series on Doing Him Good in recent days, referring to blessing your husband. Check it out!


I've mentioned that I've been listening to Driscoll on Song of Solomon. Go here to listen to the series. This week's sermon (#5) is largely on selfishness and applies to both singles and marrieds. At first my husband wasn't too interested in listening to the sermons with me, but I began offering him a long back massage while I listened to them and he ended up loving the sermons too and it has given us lots to talk about.

Three 3 and Under--Getting Exercise

I'm at the stage where it can be challenging just to go to the bathroom, so exercise hasn't taken a major priority! However, here are the ways I try to get some exercise with 3 little ones 3 and under:

*Going swimming on Friday mornings. The kids run off energy and have a lot of fun and Mommy enjoys chatting with mom friends and soaking in the hot tub as well as swimming around in the baby pool with the kids.

*Going for walks. I often combine errands with walking since we are smack dab in the middle of town so almost everything is within 2 or 3 blocks including our bank, the thrift store, the grocery and movie stores, and friends houses and the parks are within walking distance too. It's a major workout to carry Justus in his Ergo and push the double stroller full of 63 pounds of kid!

*Doing my stretches and neck exercises a few times a day and having the kids try to do them with me. The main ones involve being on hands and knees so I will sometimes put Justus under me so he can look at Mommy while she does her stretches.

If I had the energy I could go to my parents' house and use my mom's brand-new fancy treadmill, but I haven't done that yet! How do you all work to stay in shape while being a busy mom?

Smorgasboard

In order to keep my blogreaders up to date on some of my favorite topics here, I thought I would combine them into one post!

Gentle Mother's Support Club: While some days it's easier to be gentle than others, yesterday I threw an all-out mommy tantrum when I discovered that Jeremiah had peed what seemed like gallons all over my bed, my down comforter, my sheets, my mattress pad, two huge spots on our mattress, his security blanket, his clothes, my pillow, and Justus' baby blankets. How he managed to soak everything, I have no idea but it was a LOT of work to take care of and I will never put him in a generic diaper again for naptime on my bed!!! Especially since my little guy is a drinker and can down a few large sippy cups in a meal. Sometimes when I blow it I wonder if I will ever change, ever be gentle, and ever be able to handle these frustrating things without going nuts. I wonder, how come after so many years of being a Christian I am still wrestling with my flesh so much, especially in this area? But then God reminded me that repentance is what a Christian is all about. I may sometimes be tempted to holler or blame when I'm upset but I am always convicted to repent to my kids and make things right with them and to seek God's forgiveness. And I do see God at work, changing me so that the episodes of failure are a lot less than they would be if I didn't have the Holy Spirit working in my life. It's scary to imagine what non-Christian parents might be doing to their kids.

Investing in Alathia: I haven't gone on a date with Ali in a while but we do try to read through her "A Little Girl After God's Own Heart" book often and we do little projects together when we can. She loves preschool and it's always fun to see what she's learning and to piggyback off of the learning she does there and re-inforce that. She remains a challenge but I do see her growing up and it's wonderful to hear good things about her from her teacher. I am trying to incorporate her in helping with more and more chores and in the area of becoming more independant.

Making my Home a Haven Monday:
Yesterday was amazing since I was able to get so much done in cleaning the kitchen and catching up on dishes. It had seemed like they would never get done due to Justus' fussyness for the last several days. He was such a good boy yesterday morning that I accomplished more in my kitchen in a couple of hours than I had been able to accomplish in at least a week or two! I was so excited to even have the opportunity to do dishes, how weird is that? When you are "chained to a baby" like a prisoner, dishes are nearly impossible to do. When he is old enough to ride on my back in the Ergo I will be able to do dishes easily!

PETS for Kids: (My blog version of a prayer group for our children: Petitions for Kids) My encouragement for the week is to share this simple idea of what our family does to pray for our kids:
King Jo and I have made it a habit to pray for the family members on the day of the week they were born. So, Jer on Wed, Myself on Thurs, Alathia on Friday, Justus on Sat. and King Jo on Sun. I guess this means we need two more kids, one born on Mon and one born on Tues! This focused prayer has been awesome because rather than just praying routine or quick prayers for our kids each evening, we are focusing on all the areas of one person's life and seeking to really cover them in prayer on their day. It doesn't take long and is a great way to bless your family members and grow closer to your spouse. Sometimes we pray after the kids are in bed, but sometimes we pray with the kids for the person of the day. Ali now asks, "Who's special day is it today?" I think she really loves getting prayed for and soaks it up! I know I do when it's my day to be prayed for!

Neighbor Update: What a shocker we have had this week as all of a sudden 2 neighbors just up and moved out of the blue! I guess we're not the only ones who don't like the rent increases! My hippie neighbor from next-door found something cheaper and the family on the other side of us, whom we didn't see much and whom never wanted to talk with us, decided to move too. It will be interesting to see who moves in! Jorge and Lupe have just a couple more weeks here and things with them have been going very good. I have accomplished most of the things on my list of 30 ways to bless their last 30 days, including getting their photo book with Bible verses done, taking them goodies, chatting with them, telling the girls the Wordless Book several times, etc. We will miss them but it will be so much quieter here when they are gone, unless someone else with wild kids moves in!

Personal updates: Justus had a really hard time in the last week ( I think it was some spaghetti sauce and spicier food I was eating) and I have had a lot less sleep than what he was letting me get before. He seems to be back to feeling good again in the last couple of days and I have decided that as much as I love spaghetti it's just not worth it to eat it right now! Pray for my neck as it doesn't seem to be doing good even though I've gone to the chiropractor a lot and do exercises for it several times a day. I am not sure what to do since I can't afford to just keep going to the chiro and yet not see lasting results. Pray for me if you think of it. In our financial news, we haven't had anyone taking out credit cards in our names and we are so thankful that they didn't get any of our money, even though they tried. Guard yourself against identity theft as it is so prevalent today!

Pouty pout pout

Justus often gets red eyes when he's upset!



I don't remember how much Ali pouted but I know she pouted a lot. However, I think that Justus has her beat on how often he sticks out his lip! Oddly enough, Jeremiah never pouted. I don't have a single picture of him doing the bottom lip thing!

My Review of the Ergo

Baby loves his Ergo!
My first day using the Ergo. I was nursing him using the carrier for support right before this pic was taken so that's why he's hanging sideways.
Until about 4 or 5 months Justus will ride with his legs together in a sort of side-saddle pose. When he is bigger, he can spread his legs, one coming out of each side of the carrier. When he has full head support he can ride on my back or on my hip in the carrier.
Grabbing onto his Daddy's shirt while being carried by Daddy.
At the cabin, carrying both of my boys! Jer loved riding in it and thought it was great fun! It was a good way to keep him out of trouble!
Daddy decides to try the carrier. Justus isn't centered correctly. These photos were taken before he realized that the baby's bum needs to be centered at your belly. That's why Justus looks likes he's hanging diagonally. I posted this so you could see the sleeping hood up (it clips to the shoulder straps). It can be used to keep sun or snow off of the baby too.


Well, I've had the Ergo for 2 and a half weeks now and I just can't imagine life without it! It's funny, because I heard all the raving reviews on it and yet I wasn't sure if it would really work for our baby or not or whether we'd end up using it much. That's why it is so awesome that it has a 90 day warranty and a full refund if you aren't satisfied! I have used my Ergo more than I ever dreamed possible and would never want to be without it again! I just wish I had known about it when we had our first two children! Why is it we're finding all the cool products or tricks 3 kids into this parenting thing?

Anyhow, these are just a few of the places/ways I've used the Ergo: on Ali's field trip to the pumpkin patch, at my relatives' cabin in the mountains, on walks, in grocery stores, in Wal-Mart and Walgreens, at church, at a Financial seminar at our church, at Bible Study, at a Ladies' Game Night, in the thrift store, in McDonald's, at the park, at friends' houses, doing chores around the house, sitting and reading, typing on the computer, running to the laundry room and back, etc. etc. King Jo was skeptical about it at first and didn't seem to have an interest in using it. But then one day he gave it a try and saw for himself how content and happy Justus is in it and he was sold. Just yesterday on the phone he was telling his dad all about this new baby carrier we have that is a "magical wonder." Before the Ergo, if I tried to run to Safeway for 15 minutes and left all the kids home, Justus would scream like crazy even if he had just been fed. The other day, i left for an hour to go to the chiropracter and King Jo just wore the baby in the Ergo and he was fine the whole time! Justus has been horribly fussy in the last week (not sure why but he's better today) and sometimes the only thing we could do was wear him. In recent days I'm sure I have worn him for at least 6 hours a day, sometimes more than that. Praise the Lord for the Ergo! Without it we'd have gone insane by now!



If you've ever tried a carrier that took multiple people and 20 minutes to put on, you'll love the Ergo. It goes on as quickly as putting on a school backpack, making it simple to wear your baby for quick tasks like taking out the garbage or running to the laundry room when you don't want to leave your baby with rowdy toddlers. If you've ever had slings that were knotted or homemade and you wondered if they would hold, you will love the Ergo because it always feel secure and safe for the child.



Things I love about my Ergo: You can use it with an infant and then on up to a 40# preschooler. It adjusts quickly to any size from petite woman to very tall man. It's well-padded, light-weight and comfy to wear. It was designed with the mother and baby's spinal support in mind and doesn't strain one's back or neck. I appreciate this since I have a bad neck. It's washable. It's sturdy. It's super easy to get the baby out if they want to be fed immediately or have fallen asleep and you want to lay them down in their bassinet. It comes with a front pocket where I stash a diaper and some wipes and pacifiers for handy access. It comes with a sleeping hood that you can use as a sun-shade or nursing cover or just to support a larger baby's head if they are sleeping in it. I can put this carrier on by myself and yet it's very secure, even when getting the child loaded into it. It has a nifty ring where I can clip my keys on the shoulder. It isn't confining when I wear it. I can sit comfortably, stand comfortably, dance, bend down and get stuff off the floor or even lift my other kids when I'm wearing it.



Nursing Access: Although it is tricky to figure out how to nurse in it, I have learned that if I just unbuckle the shoulder clip (behind my neck) and thus loosen the carrier up considerably, the baby can nurse laying sideways and I can wear one or both shoulder straps loosely to give the baby support so that one hand or both hands are free even while nursing. So, for example, I have been at the stovetop cooking with one hand and nursing the baby. Without the sling, it would be harder to hold the baby sideways to nurse and ensure that he was in the right position and was secure and not about to be dropped. Some women, as shown on the video that comes with the Ergo, can nurse the baby while wearing the carrier normally, with the baby being upright but it doesn't work out for me!



If I ever had a chance to sell or promote this product on my blog I totally would do it! It is the best baby carrier I have ever seen and worth every penny of the $105 it cost. I ordered through http://www.thehomegrownfamily.com/ thanks to a blogreader's tip and I placed the order on a Monday morning and the carrier was in my hands by Thursday afternoon. They also sent a helpful how-to video and lots of pamphlets and brochures and even some of their favorite recipes. They even stocked the Ergo with little business cards so that if I'm out and about at the park and some other mommy wants to know where she can get one, I have cards! The shipping is free and you don't have to pay tax on the $105. It's a great investment in the amount of frustration it will save you as a parent. I especially recommend this carrier for moms of more than one child since it becomes more crucial, with every baby you have, that you have your hands free to deal with all of the needs of your older little ones.

*Note* This review was interrupted by Justus' screaming and so I put him in the Ergo and now I finish writing this recommendation wearing the proof!

She's a Pistol

Sometimes we just don't know what to do with our Ali. She is old enough to know not to chew on markers, but that doesn't matter. She continues to make choices that are either not smart or disobedient. The other night we were eating chili for supper and she finished her food early so she asked if she could color with her markers that were already set up on one corner of the table. So, we said yes and were happily eating and chatting. At the end of the meal, Jeremiah started singing his favorite song, Jesus Loves Me, and we all joined in. Daddy turned to Ali, trying to get her to join in on the song and that's when the song died on our lips as we saw, in horror, that Ali was now a blue-mouthed girl! She had bitten the tip off the blue marker and was chewing on it like gum!

As King Jo brushed her teeth a few times and made her swish lots and lots of water, I sighed and said, "Do you think we're going to live through this (meaning: raising Ali)?" He said, "Do you think SHE is going to live through it with the things she tries?" We both chuckled and we imagined what life might be like for her future husband.

It's been a rough week with Ali. There are moments when I love her death and think she is a beautiful and wonderful little girl and then there are moments when I have to fight the temptation to wallop her good. The marker thing wasn't a big deal but there have been times where she's shoved her little friends down as hard as she can onto the concrete in the presence of their shocked mothers or when she has pushed over Jeremiah's high chair, causing him to smack his face on the table on the way down, when he was only 7 months old. (See my blog archives for the horrible pics of a baby with a black eye). Her latest thing has been pinching Justus in his bassinet when I'm not looking. It doesn't happen every day but it is becoming a pattern. I wonder how it is that a girl who is plenty old enough to know better continues to do such naughty things. (Total depravity anyone?)

If I have to leave one kid with Justus when I go to the laundry room I would choose Jeremiah hands-down as he doesn't ever intentionally hurt Justus and he doesn't hover over Justus and bug him. I had this idea that with the age-gap being bigger that Ali would be a big helper and Justus' protector. After all, some kids her age are practically babysitting for their parents! But, that was not to be. She is still our biggest challenge and the biggest threat to Justus' well-being. Maybe by the time we have our fourth she will have learned.....

Ali's Naughty Huh?

Jeremiah has this thing where whenever his sister is being naughty, or has recently been disciplined, he says, "Ali's naughty, huh?" He shakes his head as he says in a funny little way that looks like he's all wise and exasperated. It's humorous, but I don't ever want to reinforce to him that she's the bad child and he's the good child so I often reply with, "Ali is being disobedient right now, but you are disobedient sometimes too" or "you are naughty too" or "Ali was naughty to do _____ but remember that you did _____ today that was naughty." Whenever I say this he replies with "I a good boy!"

The other day Ali was in time-out and I just happened to catch our little guy saying this favorite phrase on video.

Oh, to get at their hearts and to teach Alathia to exercise self-control and teach Jeremiah that he is not "good" in and of himself!

Interesting....

I bet there were a few people who wished I would have read this article back in college! But on the other hand I may not have met my husband if I had!

A Small Tribute to My Husband

I say this is a small tribute because I don't have the time or space to share all the wonderful things about my husband in this post but I will share a few.

I honestly believe that my Josiah is the most wonderful husband on the earth for me. (I had to add that "for me" in there because I know many of you feel your husbands are the best on earth too!) It's like God hand-crafted him to be exactly the man I need to lead me, care for me, and challenge me in my walk with God.

He knows everything about me and still loves me, even when I look like death warmed over in the morning after an all-nighter with a baby or have tried to hurt him in anger with my words. He lovingly cares for and supports me in everything, from fears and worries, to trials and temptations. He is always kind, always forgiving, never harsh, never controlling and never lording his authority over me. He truly loves me, as best as a sinful human being can, as Christ loves the church.

A note to single girls out there: When it comes to evaluating a guy for husband-material don't look at the flashy, popular guys who are into themselves and into money and having the best. Don't desire a guy just because he's the star quarterback or because he drips with charm. Many of those guys come to ruin, or at the very least, aren't fun to be married to. The best quality you can look for in a husband is a man who loves the Lord and walks closely with Him and has a teachable and repentant heart. Sometimes these guys are really shy and quiet and don't stand out in a crowd. They may not have the coolest cars, or be able to afford the biggest diamond but they will love you with all of their heart because they love Jesus and follow Him. It's infinitely worth it to have a wonderful husband and a wonderful marriage than to chase after the things of the world and pick out a spouse based on the world's values. Among Christians, I have heard many a single gal say: "I want to marry a pastor or a missionary." While it's wonderful if God leads you into ministry with your spouse someday or brings a pastor-to-be a' courtin', don't overlook the guys who aren't in the ministry vocationally because having that position doesn't guarantee that a man has character or that marriage will be wonderful. We spent a summer of our marriage in missions and let me say it was very hard because of the travel and the constant work and needs. The ministry can be rough on a marriage if the husband doesn't work continually to keep his priorities in place.

So, look for a man who loves Jesus and follows Him and you will find it easy to respect and follow such a man.
I thank our Sovereign God for giving me such a man.

You Been Hunting?

My darling King Jo surprised me tonight with some lovely pink flowers. I'm not sure what kind they are as I've never seen them before but they look like very skinny and long roses. As he waited in line at the floral area of the grocery store, a guy buying a large bouquet turned to him and said, "You must have gone hunting too?"

He replied, "No, I just have a wonderful wife who has been a blessing lately." (I wonder what the guy thought of that!)

Funny stuff!

Good Teaching

I'm fairly new to Mark Driscoll but I'm really enjoying his vidoe preaching series on The Song of Solomon (now that I have DSL) which is entitled The Peasant Princess. I strongly, strongly, strongly recommend that any of you out there who are married tune in to this series. I have heard sermons on SOS and have listened to the Tommy Nelson series on it at least once, but this is the best teaching I have ever heard on this book and I really learn a LOT and am left at the end of his teaching wanting to dig through my Bible and study even further.
Some of you may be shocked or surprised at Mark Driscoll's style of preaching but keep in mind he is a missionary to his city; the most unchurched city in our nation, and is a church-planter among non-Christians. He is about as different from John Piper as night and day when it comes to style and method but they are friends and John Piper endorses his theology; they are both Reformed. I had heard all kinds of negative comments floating around the internet about Mark Driscoll and was curious why people are so offended by him, so I started listening and was hooked!
Check it out.
Go to www.marshillchurch.org and click on the series entitled The Peasant Princess. I recommend you listen to them in order. So far there are 4 sermons, with more to come.

If you are single it wouldn't hurt to listen to this and learn what a Christian marriage is supposed to look like in preparation for that time of life.

Fun Pics

Jeremiah absolutely loves the new racecar slippers Grandpa Joel and Grandma Kathy sent him.

Making my Home a Haven Monday

Today's projects have been getting things done that I have been putting off. These things are what I refer to as emotional debt. I cleaned up some paper piles, got bills ready to mail, tackled some cleaning/de-cluttering, made homemade bread, and am hoping to get the dishes done and baby thank-you notes done. With all of the winter coats and snowpants out now and needing to hang to dry, I'm feeling like our small apartment is overly cluttered and messy. I need to figure out a solution for that, perhaps moving some furniture out and getting a bigger coat basket or putting some hooks up or something.
The snow makes me want to bake more and play games and snuggle up and read stories with the kids. There is something fun about the first big snow and it's delightful to see the kids playing in it!

Our Little Guy

The King Builds a Castle

My husband, King Jo, as he is referred to on my blog, decided to get into the fun of the 2 feet of wet snow we got this weekend and he built a little snow fort/cave which our kids and the neighbor kids all love! It's the little things like this that make me fall for him over and over again!

Frugal and Delicious

Here is a delicious meal I made using new recipes from my new Betty Crocker Whole Grains cookbook.

Chicken-Barley Stew

3 large carrots, sliced

2 stalks celery, sliced

1 large onion, chopped

2-3 boneless, skinless chicken breasts

5-6 C. water

1 C. uncooked barley

2 t. chicken bouillon granules

1 t. salt

1/4 t. pepper

1-2 cans diced tomatoes, not drained

2 T. parsley

1 t. dried thyme leaves

Combine ingredients in a slow cooker. Cook on low for 8-9 hours. Remove chicken and dice up and then add back into the stew and cook for another 15 minutes.

If you want to, you can make this on the stovetop and let it simmer for just an hour if you don't want to go the slow-cooker route.

Delicious!

Best-Ever Oatmeal Brown Bread

1.5 C. whole wheat flour

1 C. all-purpose flour

2/3 C. packed dark brown sugar (I used organic sucanat)

1/2 C. old-fashioned oats

1/3 C. flaxseeds

1 t. baking soda

1 t. salt

1 2/3 C. buttermilk (make your own by adding a teaspoon of lemon juice to milk)

Heat oven to 350. Spray a loaf pan with cooking spray. Mix all ingredients but buttermilk. Add buttermilk just until mixed. Pour batter into pan and spring with 1 T. oats.

Bake 45-55 minutes or until toothpick inserted in center comes out clean. Cool in pan for 5 minutes. Remove from pan and cool on rack.

This bread is sooooo good I can't stop making it! My kids beg for it and call it "brownies" and will eat it for breakfast, for snack, and for supper!

More Natural Living

I have been growing in the areas of more natural living over the last year, as was my desire. However, I doubt I will ever be one of those people who makes their own shampoo out of coconut oil and refuses to touch anything that's not organic. Costs are just too high here and many whole foods aren't even available.


Here is a list I made about a year ago regarding my natural living goals. I've highlighted in blue the ones that we've accomplished thus far! It's amazing to me how far we've come in just a year!



*Make some cloth diapers and go back to using cloth during the day. I learned to make them and even taught others to make them! We are currently stocked up until Justus is about 6 months old with disposables from his baby shower but then we will be back to cloth.



*Drink herbal/green teas in place of or in addition to a cup of hot cocoa each day. I've been drinking more water and in an effort to lose baby weight have given up my beloved hot cocoa.

*Eat more quinoa/brown rice in place of white rice. Quinoa is yummy! We've switched from using a variety of rices to now using only brown or wild rice. We love quinoa too but it recently raised in price from $3 a pound to $6 a pound so when our stash runs out I doubt we'll be buying more until it goes down.

*Drink soy milk instead of cow's milk. (Tried it for a while before I got preggo with Justus. I like it but it's expensive and there are mixed reviews on whether it's really that good for you or not.)

*Learn how to make hummus and homemade pita bread. Need to try pita bread sometime.

*Take evening primrose oil capsules to see if it helps with PMS. Haven't done this yet since I've been pregnant for most of the last year but I did buy them right before I found out I was pregnant and plan to begin taking them soon!

*Buy some eco-bulbs to conserve on electricity. King Jo said no on this since our bad wiring in our building tends to blow lightbulbs every month. When we have our own place, but it would just be a waste of money here.

*Eat more fruit in place of sweets. Did this during the summer but need to continue doing so now that baking and cooking season is upon us.



Far-fetched goals:

*Buy a juicer and make fresh juices. Didn't buy a juicer but I did start making a lot more fruit smoothies and yogurt/fruit smoothies this summer...that's a start!

*Buy most, if not all, organic produce and meats. Produce, nope! Not an option here where they have about 2 fruit options in the entire store that are organic and they are more than double the cost of regular. Thanks to my folk's we have had lots of elk, for free, which is the tastiest, most organic meat ever!

*Get my hubby and kids to like whole wheat spaghetti. Still working on this!

*Learn to make my own laundry detergent. Since I started this in Feb. I haven't stopped! I love homemade laundry detergent and it's sooooo easy. I just mix 1bar of grated ivory, 1 C. of borax, and 1 C. washing soda and use 2 T. per load. I've tried making the liquid form too but it's simpler to do the powder and works just as well!

*Learn how to make all-natural soaps. Thanks to my friend Heather's blog, I got a recipe for making your own hand soap out of castile soap and almond oil. Something I definitely want to try soon!

*Buy all our drinking water in recycled jugs instead of drinking chlorinated tap water. Instead of buying all of our water, we ended up with something even better! I got a Brita pitcher on a major clearance with a great internet coupon for $2. Since then, Walgreens has done three different months of free pitcher cartridges (and yes, they fit the Brita) so we've had delicious-tasting water for the last 6 months for only $2 total thus far!



For the future, when we have a house of our own:

*Dry my laundry outdoors, especially in the summer (but for now washer and dryer are free in our building)

*Have a large organic garden

*Use all-natural cleaners. I'm using Dr. Bronner's Sal Suds for most cleaning and vinegar in a spray bottle for the rest.

*Teach my kids to reduce, re-use, and recycle! We work on being frugal, using things up, and not wasting food, but I still have a lot to teach them in this area.

*Start a compost pile. My hippie neighbor started one for all of us to use here.


Other things I'm making an effort in:
Since reading a book on the 14 superfoods, I've started trying to incorporate more salmon, pumpkin, flax, and berries into our diet. I no longer buy Fruit Roll Ups or Fruit Snacks even if they are on a good sale (with the exception being for birthdays) and am trying to cut back my calories personally to get back in shape after baby.

A Friend of Gold

I have a glorious bunch of women friends. Many of you read my blog and have shared good times over Bible studies, craft nights, or long talks as roomies in college. I have friends of all shapes and sizes and personalities and each of you has contributed to my life and enriched it (yes, even those blogger friends I've never even met in real life!)
There have actually been friends whom I saw before I met and I just knew we would be friends. There have been many gals whom I wanted to get to know based on the fact that they were/are at the same stage of life as me or because we have a lot in common.
However, one of my dearest friendships took me completely by surprise.....

It all began when we finished our ministry internship and moved back to my hometown where my husband got a job working for my dad in carpentry. All of my high school friends had moved away and I was lonely. There were only about two young Christian couples our age in town that we knew of and one couple was moving away and the other was busy adjusting to life with newborn twins. (They are now dear friends of ours).

I'm not sure exactly how we became friends but somehow I was introduced to Amy at church and she invited me to go walking with her. She worked at the church and was well-known by all and had a son close to Ali's age. I was excited to have someone to do something with but I never imagined we would be close buddies or anything. After all, we're about as opposite as two people can get. She loathes pink and all things girly and I wear pink often. You might catch her in a dress once a year, at Easter, and I wear mostly dresses and long skirts. Her idea of a dream vacation is biking across the state of Wisconsin every summer (70 miles a day) where mine involves a lot more laying around and reading. She was the ultimate laid-back and relaxed parent and I was the hyper-overly-paranoid-and-protective first-time mom. She doesn't mind if the kids have sticky hands or eat ice-cream cones in the living room whereas I just can't handle sticky hands. She pushes herself to get up at 5 and lift weights at the gym and I am not too chipper in the morning. We are over a decade apart in age and our husbands have pretty much nothing in common. She's a pet person and I'm not. Though we haven't discussed much theology in the last couple of years I'm pretty sure we have very different viewpoints. We have different views/lifestyles when it comes to most of the "hot button" issues.

So, if anyone seemed like someone I WOULDN'T end up being good friends with, it was Amy. But we enjoyed our walks together and swapped mommy tips and recipes and enjoyed having our kids romp around together. Pretty soon we both got to thinking about Baby #2 and lo and behold, ended up having Arianna and Jeremiah exactly 2 months apart.

We've spent countless hours at the park, swimming on Friday mornings, going to the lake, couponing, having pool parties, garage-saling (whoo-hoo!) and swapping babysitting. One of the best things about Amy is that she is there. She is never too busy and is usually the one to check in with me, and our other friends, to see what our plans are for the day.

Recently I've been reflecting on how much I have been blessed by her friendship. It has been so good for me to be around Amy and I have learned a lot from her wisdom. I don't have the corner on truth and it's been great for judgemental old me to have a flesh-and-blood friend who is so different to keep me balanced. Because of Amy, I have learned to be a more relaxed parent. I have been inspired by her example in the fact that she refrains from gossip and criticizing others. I have been blessed by the time she gives me because even though she works, she lives like a stay-at-home mom. She is always the first to visit someone in need or share what she has and never complains about how much work she has to do or that she isn't able to stay home like the rest of her friends. She ALWAYS remembers to brings snacks to the park and shares them with my kids and she is CONSTANTLY bringing over goodies that she baked or homemade salsa or meals when I was hugely pregnant. She volunteers in so many ministries at church and takes turns teaching my daughter's Sunday School class. I have witnessed her example of how to discipline in a calm and godly manner. I'll never forget the day she kept putting her son in time-out and mentioned she wouldn't be spanking that day. When I asked why she said that she knew she couldn't spank in love due to her irritation with her son so she was sticking with time-outs at the moment. She doesn't criticize her husband even if she doesn't always agree with his decisions.

I have learned how to be a better friend, a better mom, and a better wife from Amy's kind example. She is one of the most humble people I have ever met. Also, I'd be a lot chubbier without her always motivating me to go on walks with her. You should have seen how many miles we put on those strollers with our huge pregnant bellies!

There are few friends who I will let come in my house when it looks like a toy and clothes bomb exploded in it, but Amy is one of them! There are few friends whom I would confess my sins to, but Amy is one of them. There are few friends whom I would feel comfortable calling in the middle of the night, but Amy is one of them. There are few friends who understand the challenges of raising a highly energetic and stubborn child, but Amy does. There are few friends I call to babysit for fear of imposing on them, but I know I can call Amy if I really need a last-minute babysitter, even though her schedule is twice as packed as mine. There are few people I don't get offended at if they reprimand my kids. But if Amy corrects my children, I am grateful. There are few friends I can talk about anything with, but Amy is one of them. There are few friends who will allow you to run your errands when you're walking together (one memorable moment was when Ali shoved Elijah into the video racks at the video store and about 100 video cases came tumbling down....) There are few friends who have seen my mommy panic or seen me screaming at my kid (Ali and Elijah have this thing for riding bikes in the middle of the street when a car is coming while we are on walks.....). How many friends would cheerfully go to the swimming pool with me on foot when we had 7 kids age 4 and under between us (she was babysitting our friends' twins)? There are not very many friends whom I feel comfortable going into their house to drop something off when they are gone, but I have no fears about that with Amy. There are hardly any people on earth that don't try to win you to their way of thinking on a certain topic, but Amy never does. She keeps her arms wide open to people and doesn't pry or try to convince me out of my own convictions. She is brave, smart, energetic and friendly and a good listener.

Amy loves God with all of her heart and seeks to serve Him and serve others at all times. I praise the Lord for her and her friendship! I always thought the best friends were made in college when you had more time to talk and get to know each other. However, I have found that over time, even the fragmented conversations amidst burping the babies and disciplining the toddlers can forge a treasured friendship.

I wrote this to encourage all of you not to be scared to develop friendships with people God brings into your path who don't seem like your type. Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy my friends in long skirts who homeschool, don't have TV, and love pink! But I also enjoy my friendships with gals who are different than myself!

*One more thing: Amy introduced me to the best cookie on earth (I call them Double Chocolate Oaties) and she often brings some over when she bakes them!

Pumpkin Patch

Preschoolers and pumpkins!
Ali with best friends, Kennedy and Carsen.

Ali's first-ever ride on a schoolbus! Exciting! Here she is at the school just before leaving with Grammy Cindy.


The kids decide they are tired of carrying their pumpkins and dump them on Mama. Good thing I have an Ergo now so my hands were free! WHAAAAAAAAH! Why did I have to get the tiniest pumpkin!

Bean Disaster

Trying to avoid the mess that comes with the kids playing in their box of beans, I decided to lay out my neat sheet (which is like a cloth picnic table) and have them play with the beans on that. I assumed clean-up would be much easier as I would carefully fold up the neat sheet and dump any stray beans back into the box.

I was happily cooking supper with two content children playing behind me when I heard a dreadful noise. The kind of noise that can only mean that your kids have made an enormous mess.

Apparently Ali didn't like the neat sheet being messy and decided to shake it off.......

It's been two weeks and I'm still finding beans.