Sunday, July 21, 2013

Anywhere But Here

Sometimes "here" is the last place we want to be.
Whomever you are, wherever you are, whatever your circumstances, it's easy to idolize "there" because "there" isn't "here."
"Here" isn't always fun.
HERE involves messes aplenty, and pain, and failure and loneliness.
HERE brings with it hard work, difficult people, and the constant struggle against sin.
"There" looks better/easier/more fulfilling/more fruitful/more comfortable.  We long to be "there" because if we were there we would be happier, right?
I have seen time and time again in my life how even when I've gotten "there" and it becomes my new "here" I am still discontent in my circumstances and at war with my flesh.
Today I scrubbed up yet another HUGE blood mess as Justus slipped off the bathroom counter and smashed his nose and teeth into a corner of the wall, leaving a 20-foot trail of blood throughout the house, screaming at the top of his lungs for 30 minutes......but hey, he's fine now!  I was weary after a morning of errands and cleaning chores, 100 degree weather and being a single parent for the weekend,  wiping poopy bottoms, washing sticky hands, spills, making food, sorting broken toys, enforcing rules, correcting misbehaviors, hearing one kid scream that the toilet was overflowing, dealing with a drama queen whose siblings woke her up extra early, etc. etc. etc. I was thinking about how much easier it seems like it would be to be anywhere but here.
Send me to the orphans in Africa.
Take me to the slums of L.A. to serve food in a kitchen for the homeless.
Move me to artic Alaska to work amongst the Eskimos.
Give me a full-time job as a grocery bagger...or a waitress...or a park ranger...whatever!
I just don't want to be here today.
When I worked in summer missions as a teen, it was always so much easier to go and love on the lost in other towns than in my own.
It was easy to be nice and respectful to my adult directors and hosts.
It was even a breeze to teach 5-Day Clubs all day in 100 degree heat with no shade for dozens of needy children, day after day, week after week.
Compared to talking to my peers in High School about Jesus.
Compared to being respectful of my own parents.
Compared to sharing with my brothers and putting up with their bathroom-hogging and getting into my stuff.
HERE is hard.
As a wife and mom, I often feel the weight of being HERE.
Even if I'm living out my dream job and know that someone else wants what I have.
I'm often unhappy with the chaos that young children bring to my days and the continual sacrifices I have to make as a mother.
But thankfully..........God is more concerned about my holiness than my happiness.
My loving Father knows what is best for me and....
......HERE is His will for me.
While serving Him does ultimately bring true and lasting happiness, that doesn't mean it will always feel pleasant to be in the center of His will.  He is using my present circumstances to make me more like Himself, to make my faith stronger, and to build endurance in me, for His glory.
(See Hebrews 12 and James 1)
So, "here" I am:
Kneeling in prayer and begging God to give me strength.
Asking forgiveness from a child I offended.
Filling another cup of water for chubby, little hands.
Scrubbing bloody handprints off of walls.
Thinking of our Savior, who also had bloody hands, 
who left His amazing THERE in Heaven and came HERE for me.

1 comment:

Peachtree said...

Thank you, I really need to hang this above my kitchen sink!

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