Things seem to happen in spurts for us.
All of our friends going to college with us.
All of our friends getting married too.
All of us having babies.
All of us having more babies.
And statistics say, that whether Christian or not, 50% of couples will divorce.
So, 7.5 years into marriage, when people supposedly get "itchy" we are beginning to see families crumble. Three couples so far in the last year. One close to us.
What do you say to a friend whose whole world has fallen apart?
I ponder these things as I go about my day, tormented. Grasping to understand. Feeling the pain of the little ones involved. Trying to imagine the upheaval. Praying that God would work. Snapping at my kids only to realize it's my devastation seeking an outlet. Wondering who I can talk to. When a person dies...it's appropriate to share the news and offer comfort. But it seems like gossip to share the news of the death of a marriage.
The death of a marriage. I never thought it could happen to them.
My "Good King Jo" and I grieve together. Talk things over for a long time, in shock. Not usually a cuddler, I find myself inching closer to him in bed and grabbing his hand as I fall asleep. Thinking about how I can show him how much he means to me tomorrow, this week, this year.....this lifetime. He's a blessing I often take for granted, especially in these tough days of mothering little ones. I need to know we're okay, even when the world around us isn't.
I smile thinking about the goofy ways my other friends' husbands show they love their wives. Facebook statuses about their wife's "hotness" or a birthday cake that took $30 of ingredients and several hours for him to make her. Suddenly these little displays of love mean so much.
I pray. I call. I offer what little I can, the equivalent of a toy shovel in an avalanche. She cries as she thanks me. I cry too.
The road ahead is hard.
But, God is good, and He is at work. I cling to the hope that just as He saved my parents' marriage, He can save theirs too.
*Out of respect for my friends in these difficult situations, I won't be disclosing personal information or names here so please don't ask. This post is just an outlet for my grief.*