Monday, January 31, 2011

On Motherhood

Some days being a mommy to little ones is fun.  Some days it's not.  Some days I feel like I have everything under control.  Many days I feel tossed about on waves of endless chores and demands, with very little control, if any.
Some days I feel like I get amazing amounts of chores and tasks accomplished.  Other days it feels like I'm walking with concrete shoes and can barely get a single thing done.

But life goes on!  And I remind myself that this is a season.
I love babies and have always been the type who begs to hold them wherever I go.
I love making baby gifts and taking pics of babies, cuddling babies, and having babies that are all my own.
But this go-around with a fourth baby has truly left me so wiped out that the other day I exclaimed to my husband, "I'm sooooooo over babies!  I cannot wait until Katri turns two!"
I finally understand one of my best friends' who doesn't like the baby stage.  Perhaps it's the fact that all of my children are small and needy or that our fourth is our most demanding baby or that I've just changed enough diapers and lost enough sleep in the last 6 years to bring me to an awakening.  But as much as I enjoy tiny toes, chubby thighs, darling smiles, baby cuddles, teensy giggles, pink dresses, and the wonder of gazing at my tiny beauty and cooing at her, I sigh with relief, knowing this stage will fly by and there will come a day when life is easier.
Life is never easy.  There will always be trials.  There will be other issues, like whining, fighting, sassing, and learning to obey.  There will always be endless amounts of work to be done to maintain life and home and house and school.  There will be concerns over choices they are making as they become independent, and their safety when they aren't with me.
But life will be easier in many ways.
I have a dream that one day all of my children will be able to use the restroom and clean themselves.
I have a dream that one day they will begin to clean up after themselves more than they make a mess. 
I have a dream that they will sleep soundly all night long, never waking me and will complain when I finally must wake them up in the morning, after I've enjoyed an hour of quiet time and a cup of coffee.
When they don't need to be lugged around in a huge carseat.
When I can enjoy a Ladies Night Out without bringing a nursing baby along.
When they get their own breakfast.
When they prepare lunch.
When they do the laundry and mow the grass.
When they don't cry, whine, or scream hysterically when they don't get their way.
When they won't fall down and get cuts and bruises continually, daily.
Ahhh......the thought!
I don't want to rush this stage because I adore when my little blonde 2-year old begs to be held and hear his favorite stories, or when my 4-year old boy talks with a lisp and shows me the airplane he made, or when my almost-6-year-old sounds out the letters of a word in her easy-reader book.  I love their energy, exuberance, and the way they delight over simple pleasures.  I love watching them learn and grow and I don't want to rush this stage.
But life will be easier someday soon.
And when they day comes I will stretch out my hand to a weary young mom and ask her to drop her kids off for an afternoon.


Brie said...

I just wanted to say that I have been reading your blog for a long time and I don't think I have ever commented. I LOVE your transparency so much! Sometimes it can be so discouraging to read certain mommy blogs who never give the picture of life when things don't look perfect and organized. It just paints a false picture of Motherhood and then instead just leaves readers thinking why they are not like that. Your blog is so refreshing (and you crack me up!) because you are always trying to stretch yourself to be a great mom but are still humble enough to admit that it is hard work and sometimes is just plain not fun. I have read your blog on days that I have had hard days with my kids (3 that are 5 and under) and thought YES!!! That is what my day truly looked like too! :) Well, I just wanted to say thanks for allowing us a glimpse into your life. God bless your family and your sweet little babes.

Thia said...

Truth, truth, and more truth! I'm too tired to write more....hahahahaha

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