Monday, February 21, 2011

Appreciating the Grass You Have

The other day some friends and I were chatting about husbands and gifts.  It seems that a lot of husbands out there like to lavish humongous gifts upon their wives.  Huge bouquets of roses, fancy exercise equipment, large, elaborate homes, new vehicles, electronic gadgets, exotic vacations, diamond jewelry, dates at nice restaurants, etc.

Being that gifts are one of my love languages (with chocolate being my main love language *teehee*), a part of me sighed and thought inside, "That would be so nice!  If my husband was into giving me gifts like that I'd already have my nice camera that I've been working so hard for and saving for months to buy."
I also felt myself wondering.
Is my worth found in the number or cost of gifts given?
Of course my head knows the correct answer. 
But sometimes in our culture of idolatry, where celebrities are exalted and money is treasured above all else by so many around us, it can be easy to think so.
Where many friends spent thousands on engagement rings, mine cost $130.
Where some gals got to go to exotic restaurants for their first date, our first date ever, as in my first date with my first ever boyfriend, who is now my husband, was at Burger King.
Does this mean I'm not worth more than that?

The conversation went on, and I told them that my husband was the kind of guy who will only pay cash for what he buys me.
Surprisingly, everyone began saying,
"I wish my husband was like that!"
  "I wish we were debt free!"
  "I wish I didn't have to get the huge credit card bill at the end of the month
after my hubby has splurged on me."

So, it would seem that everything is a trade-off.
You may have a husband who likes to go all out and treat you like a princess.
But you'll feel the pinch financially.
You may have a husband who doesn't splurge at all. 
But you'll feel secure in knowing there's money to pay the bills.

What if the way my husband shows me love is in being careful with our money so that I can stay home and not have to worry how we're going to pay the bills?  What if the way he shows me love is in seeing that our needs are taken care of first and saving for emergencies? 
What if the sacrifices that seem small to the world are huge to him, when he grew up eating out at McDonalds about once a year?

I'm thankful for the ways my frugal hubby shows me love. 
He may have only spent $6 on me for Valentine's day but he picked out a snack and movie rental that I would like, gave me a little box of conversation hearts and a lovely handmade Valentine with sweet little somethings written on it.  He often gives me shoulder rubs and neck massages and helps put the kids to bed.  And because he is so tight with money and careful, we have food to eat, a roof over our heads, heat in the winter, life insurance, water, health coverage, and money to share with those in need.  This is far more than most people in the world have and I don't deserve a bit of it, or the love he shows me each and every day.

And as I've been saving for a nice camera, he's been doing hours and hours of research for me, even though he isn't into photography, because he wants me to get the best possible deal. I was going to go with the cheapest model but he's convinced I need to get the best deal for the money and spend a little more to get twice the camera. He's planning to give me some tax refund money to help out my own savings and he wants to buy me a nicer lens than I would have gotten for myself.

The world tempts me to believe that worth is found in material expressions of love or amount or cost of posessions.  But I have a husband who doesn't "buy" that.  He shows me old-fashioned, honest, sacrificial love.
I'm blessed!
The grass may look greener on the other side, but I know that it's not.  I have the yard that is just right for me and I'm thankful for it!


Anonymous said...

This was utterly beautiful. I'm so appreciative of the reminder to see the other side of things than what the world values. Thank you!!

elizabeth said...

Well said!! I'll be posting a link on Twitter! :)

iammygirlsmom said...

I love your blog, Lindsey! I'll miss your updates and funny quotes etc. on Facebook :(

LS said...

I was going to make it a family-only facebook but after deleting tons of people realized I missed some of you! So, add me back on and request me as a fb friend and I'll accept!

Anonymous said...

It is actually much easier to buy extravagant gifts if you have the means than it is to give from the heart.
My first husband bought me a huge solitaire engagement ring, a lavish honeymoon, and a new car... and never once opened his heart truly to me. Money was his God - we divorced many years ago and I have never missed any of those things.

The New Mrs. Rue said...

Just found your blog, via Moneysavingmom! Totally needed this-my primary love language is gifts as well, and I often feel unloved even though I know in my head that my husband loves me.

That's when the Word of God is sharper than a two edged sword that can cut through all of the world's lies that since my husband doesn't bring home huge gifts for me that must mean he doesn't really love me. His Word helps me to see that my husband loves me just like Christ loved the church-He sacrafices all day working hard, driving 30 minutes each way, and then on 2 nights a week, he goes straight from work to school.

Thank you again for this reminder to appreciate and be thankful for our grass where we are, rather than looking at all the "prettier" grass next door!

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