Tuesday, December 14, 2010

The Heart Squeeze

What I stand to lose:

A homeschool site that I receive fb feeds from mentioned
this tragedy yesterday
and asked everyone to pray for this family.
As I read this very brief post, my heart began constricting within me.
Being a mother is terrifying....because we know how much we stand to lose.
This little boy was almost Justus' age and they look a lot alike.
I don't know how this little boy's life ended,
but I do know how I would feel if I was in this Mama's shoes.
Fear threatens to swallow me whole as I think about
the many times a day I catch my kids doing dangerous things
or the many way they could get hurt or killed.
I begin to think that I need to do more to protect them, supervise them
at every second, burden myself with the task of ensuring that they live.
But I know that I can't.
I must sleep.  I must let them experience life.
Not being able to keep them 100% safe and
not being able to guarantee that my children will outlive me is terrifying...
...until I remember God.
He is sovereign, He is love, and He can be trusted to do what is best for me.
He loves these little ones more than I do. 
He created them, He cares for them,
and He has a plan for their lives.
Even in the deepest pain, He is still in control, and working all things for good for His children.
...the terrors that can rob us of joy in the present living.
But there is grace for real life, each and every day,
and the circumstances God allows to come my way.

Today you'll find me praying relentlessly for Dana and her family.


Rachael said...

I read the story about her little boy.
I cannot imagine what this mother is going through.
Thank you for the reminder, to hold my babies close and realize how lucky I truly am.
I hope you guys have a great Christmas Lindsey.
Even though we havent "talked" in years, I truly enjoy your blog and reading about your life and your family. I hope all is well in WY:)

Lesley said...

I can SO relate to your feelings on this. Being a mom can be so terrifying. I am continually having to give my fear to the Lord and trust in Him for the care of my kids. I've been bad about commenting but I HAVE been keeping up with your blog. :) Hope you're starting to get more sleep these days!

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