Three 4 and Under--Holidays and Traditions

I was raised by a Mom who loves parties and celebrating. In fact, this year my mom had us over for St. Patrick's Day supper (even though we are not Irish), and threw a Valentine party for my kids as well as doing the one at school with her students. She always used to have us do May Baskets and big 4th of July picnics, Thanksgiving with all the trimmings, etc. I would love to continue many of those fun traditions with my own kids. I also get inspired by many women in the blog world and there are so many creative ideas to implement.

Yet one thing that became "relaxed" when #3 came into the family was holiday traditions. I mean, when it takes an hour just to get the kids rounded up and ready to go somewhere, I am plenty busy and tired just keeping them fed, dry, and clean let alone thinking up extras to do. Holidays can become so overwhelming because you have to do so many major preparations all at once: Either extra cleaning or packing for a big trip, preparing gifts or clothing, preparing lots of elaborate foods, church programs, etc. If you try to do too much you can easily burn out.

My solution?

In addition to being prepared and organized in advance and simplifying things based on my priorities of what are the most-important goals related to seasonal things, I'm realizing that I don't have to do it all at the same time. I can spread things out. The kids won't care! In fact, they enjoy it all the more! For example:

I really wanted to do a gingerbread house with Ali but didn't get one in December due to moving, having a fairly new baby, and having tons of holiday and church stuff to do and lots of family visits. It worked out WONDERFULLY anyway because I got 2 kits for $5 on after-Christmas clearances and we did one in February on a quiet, non-eventful day and will do one this summer!

I didn't find the princess dress cake until the day after Ali's birthday (of course!) So, instead of waiting another year to make it, I made it for my sister-in-law's bridal shower and she enjoyed watching!

We were going to do a "Celebrate Spring" day on the first day of spring and dye eggs, etc. Instead, we were really busy that day so we ended up having a big egg coloring day closer to Easter and even Daddy and Mommy got in on the fun!

We had planned to do May baskets, but ended up attending a fun hat-making tea party for moms and kids at Ali's preschool. Who's to say we can't do it in mid-May when some of our busiest days are over? The surprise will still be fun!

We didn't plan a huge Easter feast. Instead we ate at Subway after church and then went to my parent's house for a low-key picnic in the evening. I'm not one that absolutely has to have a very formal dinner for every holiday. I've often begged my mom to just order pizza on Thanksgiving to cut down on the stress!

We decided to only do a friends party for the kid's birthdays every other year instead of every year. Ali told all the little girls in her preschool she was having a birthday party so it was tough to tell her she really wasn't but she is excited for next year and she had a blast helping me make moon-themed stuff for her family party with us and Grammy and Boppa.

I thought it would be fun to host a mother/daughter tea around Mother's Day but we have a wedding and a graduation that weekend. So, sometime this summer I will probably get around to it and it will still be just as fun!

I'm not saying we get so lazy and unscheduled that we don't take the Christmas tree down until March or something like that. I'm also not saying that we don't celebrate the major holidays (Easter, Christmas, birthdays) on the actual day and go all out with special food and gifts. My point is that you can't do everything everyone else is doing, or even accomplish a lot of the seasonal things you would like to do. You will kill yourself trying if you do this when you have small children. So, I try to bite off bite-sized chunks these days. When my kids are all older, we will be able to throw fabulous parties and follow traditions more consistently, but for now, we can let some of the less important holidays and traditions slide or spread them out to do them on various days so that Mommy isn't overly tired or overwhelmed.

Three 3 and Under--Letter to an Expectant Mom

The other day I was thinking about a cousin who asks me for advice in having 3 Three and Under. I was having an especially hard day and analyzing why my day was particularly difficult. I was wondering how I could help prepare other expectant moms who are looking forward to having their 3rd child. I always enjoyed getting advice and tips from moms of 3 when I was pregnant with Justus. So, here's my current best tip, and I'm sure you'll find that this post applies to you no matter how many children you have.

You are your own worst enemy.

Dear ________,
I know you are looking forward to holding that little bundle soon and are wondering how you'll make it with three little beings needing you day in and day out.
Recently, upon analyzing myself on my hardest days, I have come to this conclusion. You are your own worst enemy when it comes to trying to juggle life with three. What do I mean by this?
Well, I'll give you an example from my own life. I tend to be the typical firstborn: chained to a sense of duty, responsible, motivated, independant, and energetic. Throw in the fact that my parents are both "beavers" and tough as nails and have been known to tell me to "cowgirl up*" and you have a recipe for someone who is always trying to take on too much and is frustrated that there aren't more hours in the day or that I can't do better.

Because I'm pretty energetic I didn't feel the squeeze as much with only two kids. I could still stay up until all hours of the night and could still accomplish so much. I still managed to clean my parents' house for pay and do all kinds of things I had done with only one child. I had no lack of passion for my husband and fixed my hair nicely every day. But three is kicking my behind some days! Maybe you are the type that got kicked after only one kid or maybe you are the opposite personality as me and prefer to be less active and are more passive and un-motivated. Whether you are like me or not, you will find that YOU are the person that is probably going to make things the hardest with a third child.

We all have different thresholds of endurance. We also have different gifts. Whether you are the type who accomplishes a lot or the type who struggles with laziness, you will find yourself overwhelmed with three at times, and like me, you'll discover that it's often your own fault, whether from trying to do too much or not getting enough done due to lack of organization and discipline. Dave Ramsey is always talking about how you won't get ahold of your money problems and fix them until you deal with the man in the mirror. In order to get out of debt and start saving you have to deal with your own issues and stop spending money to fulfill a need in yourself. This is true of being a mom as well. If you can't learn to put aside yourself, you will be frustrated and angry all the time because 3 little ones demand so much of you, around the clock, 7 days a week, for years on end.

Yes, there are times when you are just tired from getting no sleep and times when the kids are sick or when everything seems to go wrong. Yes, there are times when our husbands place demands upon us or we have obligations to fulfill at church or with our children's schools/homeschooling, etc.
But often, on days you find yourself extremely irrited and irrational it will be because you volunteered to take supper to someone in need, you invited two sets of company over in two days, you can't ignore the mess, you freak out about germs or sticky hands, you can't tell a friend no, you agreed to a babysitting job, you felt obligated to throw a party for someone, you want to accomplish this lesson in homeschooling, you have a burning desire to get a craft project done, you feel the need to have a perfect home, or you signed up to make treats.

Now, don't get me wrong, I think it's wonderful to serve others and to celebrate and to create beautiful things with our hands. I do think it's nice to make our homes a haven and seek for them to be clean and restful. I think we need to show hospitality and experience good fellowship. On a great day we might even be able to accomplish a lot.

But when you have 3 very small ones, planning to do something other than keeping them fed, dry, and alive each day can push you over the edge. And biting off more than you can chew can make you not only physically weary, but also soul weary. Especially if you make this your pattern in life.
So, in order to survive having three, you have to confront your own worst enemy, yourself.
Here are some ideas, my friend, that I am using in my own life to combat the gal in the mirror:

*Remembering my priorities. Am I having time in the Word? Am I teaching my kids from the Word? Reading the Bible in a year plan has been so good for me and for my kids!

*Giving up my craving for lots of "unwinding time" and forcing myself to go to bed earlier. It's absolutely necessary when you have 3 kids, one of whom never naps, because it's your only chance for sleep each day. Justus has been sleeping very long stretches for a month now and therefore if I'm a zombie in the morning it's MY fault because I always stay up reading too late!

*Saying "no." I've posted on this before but it's something we need to be continually reminded of. This doesn't mean I say no to everything. I often babysit a friend's toddler for a couple of hours and my mom pays me to make dinner for her once a week (she picks it up), but this does mean I say "Absolutely not" when my brother asks me if I'll help cater his wedding or my mom asks me if I'll help do the Groom's Dinner.

*Lowered expectations--It absolutely KILLS me when my house is a disaster and someone comes by, especially if it's one of "those people" who you feel the need to impress, (your landlord, someone who said you were crazy to have 3 kids, your mom-in-law if she lives close by) and yet it absolutely KILLS you to try to keep it perfectly clean too! If you want to survive having 3 tiny ones without being a miserable, irritable, catty, angry woman you have to accept that often the floors will be sticky and the sink will be full of dishes. You can do your best to pick up and teach your kids to be neat, but you just won't have the time to do it all, every day, in addition to keeping your kids fed and happy. A lot of days it will be time with the kids or a clean house, either/or.

*Cutting back on time with friends and/or time spent on hobbies. This is not to say I can never enjoy a Ladies' night or make a craft. I still attend a weekly woman's Bible Study which I thoroughly enjoy. I still make time to blog as I find it very beneficial in my life. This is to say that I have about half as much time to do friend/hobby things so I have to choose more carefully whom I will spend time with or how I will spend my free time. As Elizabeth Prentiss said in Stepping Heavenward, "I may see less of friends, but I have gained one dearer than them all. Yes, my precious baby, you are welcome to your mother's heart, welcome to her time, her strength, her health, to her most tender cares, to her life-long prayers! "

*Simplifying my schedule and possesions. I've posted recently on our pioneer-living experiments. In addition to trying to simplify "stuff clutter", I have simplified my schedule since having 3 as well. Don't think this is easy because people will continue to ask you to just as many events as they always did even if you have 3 now. And if your child is in preschool or an activity you will automatically have lots of events to attend as well as picking them up. Since having 3, I no longer take the kids grocery shopping but go when Daddy watches the kids for an hour or two. In fact, this almost feels like too much because I still feel like I'm working when I'm getting out and away from the kids. I'm trying to get it down to shopping every two weeks and buying more in bulk. I also don't take the kids swimming as much and we don't hit the thrift store much at all. I hit Walgreens only once a month, if that. We usually do 1-2 outings (to library time or a friends' house) per week now. I am so thankful to live in our current home with a big backyard and more privacy because the main reason we went out every day at our old place was just for sanity's sake!

*Fighting for Couple Time. There once was a time when you could spend hours gazing at one another with adoring eyes. A time when you cuddled and played games and went out on the town. With each kid it gets harder to find time, energy, and motivation to have special time together. You have to fight for it by planning for it, preparing for it, and putting aside the thousands of things you have to do on your to-do list.

I hope this post doesn't make you those of you with one or two feel scared to have a third! I wouldn't trade having 3 for ANYTHING!!! I love them so much and am so glad I had 3, and I'm even glad I had them all 21 months apart! Each baby has caused me to grow more and more in character and discipline, and has forced me to give up more of my own selfishness. So, embrace the joy of having 3 by putting yourself in the Lord's hands and allowing Him to strip away the things you cling to during this demanding stage of parenting. When you start to feel absolutely overwhelmed by it all, remember that it's probably because you planned too much, expected too much, overcommitted, or haven't been organized or disciplined and talk with God and your husband about how you can change things.

Three 3 and Under--"If"

Have you heard of the "If" poem by Rudyard Kipling?

Here's my parody of it:

If you can find time to pray and have devotions

while holding little ones on your lap

If you can learn to live for others 24/7

forsaking your own hopes for the day,

If you can learn to go to bed on time,

forsaking your own unwinding time

If you can wipe bottoms from dawn to dusk,

and not flinch when poop gets on your finger,

If you can leave the dishes another day,

and ignore the crunching crumbs beneath your toes,

If you can swallow your pride and lose the ability to impress

even those whose favor you desire

If you can say no to those near and dear to you,

so that you can say yes to the little ones in your care,

If you can learn to manage all the toys, books, clothes, and games

and little shoes that flood your home unceasingly,

If you can learn to calmly handle screaming tantrums and endless fighting between siblings,

If you can arise with the dawn and smile at little motor-mouths that know not how to be silent,

If you can cook and prepare snacks from dawn to dusk with creativity and healthy ingredients,

If you can nurse your baby while doing three other things at the same time,

and gaze at him tenderly in the night when he awakes for yet another feeding,

If you can find the time to smile at your husband, give him a back rub, and spend time with him even if you are exhausted,

If you can offer help to a friend in need, pray for the burdens on your heart, and reach out to your neighbors,

If you can bathe three little ones without letting one drown,

If you can load 3 in carseats in less than 3 minutes,

If you can fix your hair, put on a nice outfit,

and find the time to exercise in your busy day

If you can eat for strength and health

without relying on coffee or chocolate to get you through the day,

If you can wash and fold laundry unceasingly,

and not lose a kid in the clean clothes pile,

Then you will think it easy to be a mom of Three 3 and Under my friend!

If you struggle with any or all of these things, then you are human, my friend, and will need God's help to be a Mom.

Three 3 and Under---The Ups and Downs

Wow, in less than a month I'm going to have to change my series to Three 4 and Under! Ali's birthday is coming up!

If there's anything I've learned in the last couple of months of parenting three little ones 3 and under it's that there are ups and downs and it's truly hard to define what it's like to be in this stage of parenting life. I will say that having three 3 and under is ENDLESS....ENDLESS...ENDLESS.... (get the idea yet?) work. Now to those of you, and there are always some, who are rolling your eyes and thinking to yourself, or saying out loud to me (yes, I've been asked this) "You do know how it happens, right?" I want to say that this post is not for you. I'm sharing in honesty with fellow mothers in the trenches who believe that children are blessings from the Lord but also need to hear the whole story. I'm not trying to be a complainer or a whiner and I don't at all regret having 3 or even regret having them all 21 months apart! In fact, my hubby and I want at least one more and we love the 21 month spacing and watching our kids be best friends and play together.

Sometimes, because of the comments we get, we mothers of 3 or more little ones tend to gloss over the hard days or put up a brave front with people around us because we are afraid of hearing "You made your bed, now you're going to lie in it." We don't feel like we have the right to talk about our hard days because we chose to have all of these children. But it would be unfair to my mommy friends out there for me to cover over the rough days. Anyone who has even one baby knows that it is life-changing and an incredible amount of work. Triple that and your hands are very full! So, I'm not going to pretend in this series that it's always been a piece of cake for me!

Having Three 3 and Under is incredibly easy some days. Some days, and I'm guessing a lot of it has to do with how much sleep Mommy and kids got last night, how long baby naps, and what's planned for the day, everything seems rosy and you bask in the wonder of watching all these little people around you, running around, filling your home with toys and with joy and giggly smiles. A lot of days we have a nice, home-cooked supper on the table when Daddy comes home from work or soon after. A lot of days we go for walks and get out to playdates. A lot of days I have a whole evening free to read, sew, surf the web, relax, etc.

Yet, some days, the little girl is screaming for you to wipe her while you are changing a nasty poopy diaper and the baby cries for food and the phone is ringing with an important call and you have a headache and feel more than a little overwhelmed. When you've spent all day trying desperately to get the house clean and the dishes done and you survey the mess at the end of the day and feel like a complete failure as a homemaker. When your kids seem to fight and cry and whine non-stop all day, requiring countless discipline sessions. When you're peeling your eyes open in the morning because the baby kept you up half the night and you know there will be no chance to rest for another 15 hours. When you work, day after day, after day at your job, realizing that you are a workaholic of sorts and will never get a day off, and probably not a night off anytime soon, even though you love your job more than any other. When you are sick or upset or hormonal and you realize that the kids are still needing and demanding from you and will never stop (at least not for several years). Days when the kids throw toys at other kids, have an accident in the store, or days when one kid dumps a gallon of flour all over the kitchen while you are nursing the baby and another kid tries to clean it up with a bucket of water and makes paste (this happened to my friend, not me!) Some days the enormity of the tasks that loom before you threaten to crash over you and you feel like you are drowning and just trying to survive and stay afloat.

The good news is that we have a loving Father who has gifted us with these precious little ones and will sustain us in caring for them. One verse God brought to my mind this week is, "Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." Matt. 11:28

These feelings and trials go up and down. So, if I'm having a horrible day with fussy kids, I know that naptime or bedtime is coming and things will look brighter after they sleep and after Mommy has some quiet time. I have a husband who is always willing to pitch in and help with feedings, bedtime routine, and who gives me nice massages =). I have friends I can call or e-mail to share my tough days with who totally understand. Kids get over their sicknesses and their crankies before you know it and even though it may seem like an eternity when you are trying to get dinner ready and all 3 are demanding food NOW, they are learning patience right along with you. Once their bellies are full, they are back to being little giggle-boxes.

Most of the time, I love being a Mommy of Three 3 and Under and wouldn't trade it for anything on earth. But there are definitely days of feeling trapped and feeling overwhelmed with the continual needs. I could give you the "typical" practical advice for preventing some of the hard days:

Having a regular quiet time

Getting your rest

Keeping a good routine

Being prepared and organized

Not planning too much in your day

Being flexible

Getting rid of perfectionism

Finding support-A Bible Study, Accountability Partner or a Mother's Helper

However, in giving you these basic ideas, I have to say that you WILL have hard days. There will always be trials of various kinds. It's not IF, but WHEN they come. Even if you try to follow the tips in the list above, your kids will be cranky, sick, disobedient at times and things will come up that threaten to overwhelm you. Combine this with the fact that mommies of babies don't get a lot of sleep and have a hard time with the other things on the list when they are in a haze of fatigue and you have a recipe for some rough days as a Mama. But know that this hard season, is just that: a season. Before you know it, they'll be grown and won't need us nearly as much and we will miss these days. It is an incredible blessing to have these little ones and they are worth every minute of the hard work. So, be thankful for every moment with them and ride out the hard days by God's grace.

Three 3 and Under--Bringing Chaos With You

One of the hardest things about having Three 3 and Under is the chaos you bring with you wherever you go. Once you master going somewhere with the three, you realize it's not difficult to do, especially as your oldest becomes more and more obedient and helpful. However, you do notice that whenever you do end up going to events, you bring a lot of chaos/mess/destruction along! For example, the other day a friend invited us to a playdate at her home. It's a nice place, and the kids enjoyed all the exciting toys, both indoor and outdoor (since it's been very warm here) that they could play with. When it was time to go, it felt like I was trying to herd 50 cats! It literally took us an hour to leave. The baby was a bit fussy so I couldn't just put him down and I was standing-nursing him off and on throughout my attempt to get the kids to clean up. I was also trying to be-coat kiddoes who were not at all happy to leave and get them to clean up about a trillion toys that they had gotten out both outside, inside, and upstairs and downstairs in my friend's house.

This is the scenario that occurs everytime we go to my parents' home too. When it's time to go, the kids are usually tired because it's bedtime and it feels like a futile ordeal to get them to clean up, find coats, find shoes, get these things on, clean up toys, give hugs, etc. It seems like you get one ready to go only to find that the other one has taken their coat and shoes off again! Or you prod your oldest to clean up an area and when all the toys are picked up, you turn your back to gather your things and the 2-year old has emptied the toy basket again! Now, if my husband is with me, he helps round up the kids and my parents and brother help me too in getting them to the van and buckling them in, but I feel bad that I haven't been able to help with the dishes or meal clean-up and sometimes even the toy clean-up. Even with two of us working at it, we still leave an impact (used sippy cups, wet floors from cleaning up the kids' dinnertime spills, dirty high chair, crumbs, stuff re-arranged that the kids have picked up and moved, etc.) and proof that we have been there with a lot of little ones!

Church is the same way. If we attempt a conversation with anyone, our kids will run off with the other kids and usually do something they shouldn't, like drench their clothes at the water fountain, run along the balcony making horrific noise in the church, or Jeremiah will wander outside and stand behind vans backing up in the parking lot (parental heart attack!). So, we have to resign ourselves to physically holding the kids while quickly visiting, or trying to get out of the church quickly so no one tries to talk to us. Sometimes one of the older kids at church will take our kids to the playground outside and that is wonderful! I'm also thinking about putting Jeremiah on my back in the Ergo after church so that I can keep both of my little boys with me and safe. Jer is at that age I can only describe as "I'm discovering as many ways as I possibly can to hurt or almost kill myself without!"

I really don't have any good answers for how to avoid bringing chaos with you wherever you go. I do know that staying home all the time is about the best answer, but that's impossible and stifling for both the mom and the kids. With 3 kids I'm staying home a lot more because it's just not worth it to go out much when I have to chase a 2-year old, discipline a 3-year old, and nurse a baby 24/7. I shop on Thursday nights with Justus after the other kids go to bed and am cutting back on thrift store runs and have cut way back on Walgreens runs (boo-hoo). I know that it will get better when they are out of this really small stage where there are lots of messes and lots of tears and the need for continual training and watching. At this point though, I feel like taking the kids with us to someone's house is more stressful than not going at all, unless I leave them with a sitter or go by myself when Daddy's with them.

Here are some ideas that may help in controlling the levels of chaos you have with several little ones:

*Short playdates at friends' homes

*Only shopping or running errands during times of the day when kids are energetic and happy

*Playdates in places designed for kids to get exercise (swimming pool, parks, play gyms)

*Not taking kids to places where it is too stressful to watch them or keep them from destroying things.

*Being prepared (have kids eat and go potty before running errands or going somewhere)

*Have a game plan (discuss with your spouse who will watch which kid(s) after church and be sure your kids know the rules and the consequences for behavior at church. An area we need to work on!

*Immobilizing the kids (bring a portable high chair to strap them in or a stroller or an Ergo)

*Consistent discipline at all times at home which will eventually bear some fruit (though you may not always see it!)

*Power snacks--healthy snacks with lots of protein throughout the day to keep kids blood sugar levels even and help prevent meltdowns

*Adjust expectations--We crave friendships with other women and a chance to talk with them but we have to realize that our friendships and our conversations with other adults will be majorly stifled when there are little ones with us. More on this in a future post on this topic.

I would love to hear from experienced moms on this issue. What is your exit strategy when it comes to leaving someone's home or visiting with folks at church? Please help those of us moms dealing with these endless demands of motherhood!

Three 3 and Under--Mega Shopping Event

On Monday I did a big shopping trip in a nearby town with all 3 little munchkins. I found that it is lots of work, but not impossible!

The night before I made up lunches and snacks.

I also sorted out my lists, looking through sale ads, checking www.moneysavingmom.com and printing off internet coupons. I sorted my coupons and lists according to stores in different recycled envelopes.

I made sure to fill my pockets with Sweet tarts and kleenexes. I packed my Ergo with extra wipes and pacis. I packed the diaper bag, the snack bag, and made sure to have drinks on hand. I made sure I had my Ergo, our stroller, and all of our coats.

Then, we were off! The baby was fed before we left and the kids were kept entertained on the car ride by children's worship music. We got through Walgreens with Justus riding snugly in his Ergo, then I nursed the baby in the van while rewarding the older kids for good behavior with a fruit snacks. Then we headed to another store and I filled little hands with Cheez-Itz crackers and put a toy mobile on baby's carseat. I then proceeded to push two carts filled with kids throughout the whole grocery store (getting lots of stares) as I filled it up with tons of great deals. Close to the end the kids were getting a little squirrely so I whipped out the sweet tarts in my pocket and told them if they could just hang on for a few more minutes and be good through the check-out they would get a treat in the van. They were game! The bag boy helped me out to the van (3 carts between us!) and I got all the kids re-loaded in perfect timing to head to the airport to get my brother!

The key to this successful trip was being ULTRA prepared! It always seems like if you aren't prepared, that's when your kid has an accident, a blow-out, or starts screaming because they are hungry and thirsty and over-tired! Being prepared is one of the biggest keys to mothering well. If you aren't prepared and always thinking ahead, you will become overwhelmed and frustrated and angry as life happens. Having 3 kids isn't hard if you are organized and plan ahead. Granted, it's a lot of work and these shopping trips happen a lot less frequently now that I have 3, but they aren't impossible!

I mentioned above that we ate cheese crackers while we shopped. This was such a help to all of us as we saw tons of food everywhere and were starting to get hungry for lunch. I highly recommend you bring little baggies of snacks for the kids when you shop if you are going to be a while.

Candy. In our house, we don't give our kids lots of candy or sugary-snacks. They don't scream for candy in stores and they don't expect that they will get anything (toys/candy/ or other things). However, we do use candy for rewards at times. When Ali was potty-training she loved to go potty for a Skittle or a chocolate chip. Often over the last year Daddy will offer her a small piece of candy after lunch if Mommy has said she has been very good (consequently she only gets one about every 10 days). So, in using candy for rewards in the store, I'm not trying to be one of those parents who bribes their kid continually because they won't obey otherwise. I have found it to be a useful tool in rewarding kids. And we happen to have a big bowlful right now thanks to the neighbor kids sharing their Halloween candy with me. My kids will do just about anything for candy (must have inherited Mommy's sweet tooth!)

All in all, it ended up being a fun day! I had a ton of unloading to do after we got home, and the kids got down for naps a little later than normal, but it was an adventure and we accomplished our main goals of fetching my brother from the airport and taking advantage of some mega-good deals on stuff we needed to stock our pantry!

Three 3 and Under--Getting Exercise

I'm at the stage where it can be challenging just to go to the bathroom, so exercise hasn't taken a major priority! However, here are the ways I try to get some exercise with 3 little ones 3 and under:

*Going swimming on Friday mornings. The kids run off energy and have a lot of fun and Mommy enjoys chatting with mom friends and soaking in the hot tub as well as swimming around in the baby pool with the kids.

*Going for walks. I often combine errands with walking since we are smack dab in the middle of town so almost everything is within 2 or 3 blocks including our bank, the thrift store, the grocery and movie stores, and friends houses and the parks are within walking distance too. It's a major workout to carry Justus in his Ergo and push the double stroller full of 63 pounds of kid!

*Doing my stretches and neck exercises a few times a day and having the kids try to do them with me. The main ones involve being on hands and knees so I will sometimes put Justus under me so he can look at Mommy while she does her stretches.

If I had the energy I could go to my parents' house and use my mom's brand-new fancy treadmill, but I haven't done that yet! How do you all work to stay in shape while being a busy mom?

Three 3 and Under---Hope for the Hard Days

Those of you mom with 3 or more kids knew it was only a matter of time until I experienced a really tough day with all of them! Well, now I have! Justus has been our best sleeper, sleeping a 4 hour and 3 hour chunk at night and I had my easiest delivery and recovery. There have only been a couple of nights in the last 6 weeks where he was gassy and kept me up most of the entire night and I've been so, so, so thankful for that. However, this weekend he was really fussy and gassy and my patience and energy were wearing thin. Thankfully my hubby was home to help those days. However, this morning I woke up feeling like a train had literally run over my body. The older 2 had cried a lot in the night last night, interrupting our sleep (not sure why) but I normally don't feel that horrible even when I've gotten hardly any sleep. It didn't take me too long to discover that I must have had a clogged milk duct. I've had these 4 or 5 times before with my other kids (and even once during Justus' pregnancy when I wasn't even nursing!) They are horrible! Every inch of your body aches and you feel like you can barely move, let alone get off of the floor. You get chills and fever and feel incredibly tired and every muscle in your back hurts. Nursing feels like someone is stabbing you repeatedly with hot pokers but the key to recovery is to nurse as much as you can on the clogged side so that the clog/infection goes away.

I knew it was going to be a tough day since getting rest and taking care of 3 kids 3 and under definitely don't mesh. I let the kids spread out all of their blankets on the floor and declared it a movie day. We have never had to do that before, but I was desperate and too sick to even read to them! The kids' attention waned after around an hour of movies and Justus was a major fussypants but we made it (barely) until lunch when Daddy came home and he fed and cleaned up the kids and changed an icky diaper. I really didn't want him to leave again but I knew he needed to work and I knew naptime was coming, thank the Lord! So, the boys napped, I rested, and Ali played in her bedroom fairly quietly for a couple of hours. I started feeling much better (as in I could handle walking to the bathroom) in the late afternoon but I continued to rest and let the kids watch another movie and King Jo came home around 5 and picked up Dominos pizza since we had a gift card from Justus' shower.

I am no expert on how to deal with really tough days with 3 little ones, but here's what I did today:

*Pray (it really does help!)

*If you are ill or dealing with 3 screaming kids, forget all housework and focus on just attending to the basic needs (diapers, drinks, food, and not letting the kids kill each other).

*Teach your kids patience. If Justus is screaming and Ali is begging for a drink of milk and Jer is hollering that he is hungry I will try to calmly tell them that when the baby is done drinking I will then get them something. It's good for kids to have siblings to teach them that the universe doesn't revolve around them.

*Ask your oldest to be Mommy's helper. I was proud of the way Ali fetched things for me constantly today. Even Jer-Bear helped out where he could. It was sweet to see them kissing me, trying to give me a foot massage, and praying for me all day.

*Keep the kids on a short tether. While it was a pretty day and they would have loved to play outside, I could barely move, let alone watch them outdoors. So, even though our apartment is very small and not a great place to burn off energy, I made them stay indoors and encouraged their playing where I could see them so I could referee fighting with my weak voice.

*Get take-out for supper!

I try to keep these awful days in perspective. They are tough, but I am so glad to have 3 little blessings and most days with them are a lot easier. It's totally worth having 3, even if occasionally all 3 of them are screaming at once!

What do our veteran moms of 3 or more suggest for the tough days?

Three 3 and Under--Third Kids

Perhaps it was because I was the oldest, but I always had this idea that the first kid gets the most attention and love. My parents didn't show favoritism or anything but my brothers were always complaining that I could do this or that because I was older and it wasn't fair. I was also the only girl so I got to do different things than the boys and Dad made the boys do more of the physical chores around the home. I won't tell you which brother, but one of my brothers even complained when Mom bought me my first bra, "Why does Lindsey get everything? Why can't I get one too?"

So, needless to say, I kind of had the expectation from books and talking with other people that the youngest kid or kids get shorted. That they get less attention, the parents are more lenient with them, they are the tag-alongs to their older siblings, etc.

Since I've become a parent of a third child I've been excited to see that EACH and EVERY baby I've had thus far has been EQUALLY anticipated and EQUALLY loved! So, this post is for my hubby (who is a third child) and my youngest brother. While it may be true that parents don't have the undivided attention to pamper and cater to the third baby's every squeak or boil the pacifer every time it hits the floor, I think the third child gets even MORE attention because the older siblings are always crowding around him, kissing him and begging to hold him. I adore cuddling my third baby so much because I've realized how fast this stage goes and am more apt to appreciate it now! Whether your baby is a big surprise or not, easy or difficult, closely spaced to the other kids or not, boy or girl you love them with all your heart and can't imagine life without them! I speak only as a mom of three, but I'm sure my blogging friends with seven or eight would back me up on this!

Three 3 and Under---Simplifying Parenthood

Any parent knows that there about a zillion parenting books, magazine, methods, and theories out there. It takes all of about 2 seconds to discover that much of the advice is unbibilical, contradictory, or just plain confusing.

With so many different ways of parenting, it can be overwhelming and/or confusing for the new parent to wade through it all and decide how they will raise their kids. Those of us who have a tendency towards perfectionism can easily become the hyper-first-time-parent.

Believe me, I've been there and done that! My mom and other experienced moms, I'm sure, got a kick out of me. Both hubby and I were terrified to leave Ali the first time and worried about her the entire hour we were on our date. She was 3 months old and we left her with my MOM!!! I was totally into the whole infant-potty-training thing for a while with Ali too until I began to realize it was more about Mommy Training, and with moving cross-country and traveling as summer missionaries, it just didn't work for our lives at that point. Parenting was so new to us and we wanted to do EVERYTHING right. I even had the gall to look at screaming toddlers in the grocery store and declare to myself, "My children will NEVER act like that!"

If there's one thing I've gained from older, wiser moms, it's to keep it simple and RELAX! Whereas I used to wonder how I would manage Wal-Mart trips when my second baby came along, my pastor's wife would talk about how she always took her 4 little kids to Wal-Mart alone, no problem. When I would agonize over leaving 10-month old Ali in the church nursery even though she never cried over me leaving, she would remind me that Ali would definitely live and be fine! I look back on those days and chuckle now that I have three. Now if someone offers to hold my baby, I am overjoyed for the little break instead of hovering and watching their every move! With each baby I've had, I've been sooooo much more relaxed and confident in my parenting. I realize that there are no perfect parents and I have a tendency to go to the "experts" a lot less and instead focus on what's really important. I've said on my blog before that with the first pregnancy you have "What to Expect When You're Expecting" memorized word-for-word. With the second you may glance at it once a month. With the third you may glance at it twice (when morning sickness is kickin' your behind and you need some refresher ideas for coping, and when you are dying to go into labor and want to obsess over labor signs).

Last night I was flipping through some of the parenting books on my shelf and realized that if I was still a hyper-parent I'd be carefully logging sleeping times for all of my kids and analyzing their sleep schedules to death. I'd be doing a potty journal for Jeremiah, desperately trying to get Ali to trace letters and learn to read before her peers and trying to daily calculate whether or not the kids had eaten so many servings of proteins and carbs and fruits, etc. etc. But because I'm no longer a hyper-parent, over-analyzing and over-reacting I am going to be handing a lot of those books off to the thrift store. Don't misunderstand me. I love books, reading, and research. I have recently gained soooo much encouragement from the book "Raising Your Spirited Child." However, now, instead of going to the "experts" for advice or parenting theories and ideas, I'm more likely to go to the Word of God first, which is where I should have started in the first place. I'm more inclined to focus on training in character and not worry about the little day-to-day things or things that I can't control. My head hits the pillow and I'm asleep istantly instead of getting up all the time to check if the baby is breathing or if they have died of SIDS. I laugh at Parenting magazines that tell you everything you should be doing as a parent and feature $80 designer onesies and $500 strollers that you NEED to have.

Parenting is a very hard task. It takes committment and guts and utter dependence on the Lord. But parenting really can be more simple than we Americans tend to make it these days. When I start to feel pressured to over-analyze or over-do parenting, I remember that people have been parenting since the days of Adam and Eve and they have done it without manuals and theories and gadgets of every kind. I doubt Mary and Joseph obsessed over their children's baby acne, nap schedules, or feeding patterns. I look back at the pioneers who settled out west and realize that instead of analyzing parenthood, they just did it! They had real concerns, like how they would keep their kids fed and clothed, and they sacrificed and were willing to work hard for them. One of my friends, Susan, e-mailed me today and said that people ask her all the time "how she does it" with 4 kids, two of whom are twins, and one of whom is just a year younger than the twins. She said, "I just do it!" It doesn't take special talent or incredible amounts of patience. You just roll up your sleeves and get it done!!! And invariably you learn and you grow as you go!

Yesterday my good friend Amy and I took 7 kids ages one-month to four year to the swimming pool, in strollers and on little bikes, and we had a great time! Then we walked all the way back to her house and made lunch for them. Of course it took work and lots of reminding the kids not to ride in the middle of the street or not to run in the pool area but the kids did awesome and we all had fun. We got more than a few wide-eyed looks from other people though! I wish I had taken my camera to capture the way the 6 little ones held hands and formed a chain to walk from the locker room to the pool! As I have a tendency to do these days, I forgot pants for Jer to wear after swimming and undies for Ali, but it was a very warm day and it was no big deal. The more kids you have, the less you beat yourself up about little things like that!

Letting go of some of those things that don't really matter can make parenting so much simpler. While I still can't stand sticky hands and require my kids to eat in the kitchen, I don't mind if the house is messy or they get covered in dirt and mud when they go outside. I don't obsess over whether or not Justus should or shouldn't be sleeping in our bed. That's where he sleeps best and we love cuddling up next to him, so we do it! Jeremiah was a late-crawler and walker but instead of wondering if something was wrong with him or rushing him off to the doctor I counted my blessings that he was still immobile for so long and he eventually took off with a bang and hasn't stopped since! My kids may or may not be doing what their peers or doing, but I don't care anymore because I'm enjoying the ride! I've learned that this stage whips by with lightning speed so I need to take as much time as I can to cuddle them, kiss them, tickle them, and read to them, and most importantly: teach them God's Word.

So lighten up and relax and life will be a lot simpler! Throw out the parenting magazines that just make you feel like a bad parent, get rid of the books that haven't helped you a bit, let the kids get dirty and play, give yourself some grace, don't panic over the minor scrapes and bumps, and seek the advice of older, wiser moms!

*My missionary brother, Colter, gave me this Guatamalan sling. Justus is the first of my babies to actually enjoy riding in the sling!

Three 3 and Under--3 Things

Three Things Have Really Helped Me.......

......in learning how to cope with having 3 little ones.

#1. Preparedness

Being prepared pays off big time! Remember the freezer meals and stocking up the pantry and de-cluttering at the end of my pregnancy? Trying to be prepared for things is crucial to survival with 3. Of course I'll be the first to admit that sometimes you think there are diapers in the diaper bag and there aren't, and quite a few times little Justus has been barefoot because I've forgotten to put his booties on before we head out the door. But if you have a mindset of thinking ahead, planning, and organizing in advance it helps a lot. I always try to stuff my pockets with Kleenex when my kids have a cold because I've known the icky-ness of NOT being prepared and having to use their clothes or mine as a tissue! I always try to make sure the baby is fed well before we go out to appointments or lengthy errands. It's not a guarantee he won't cry and want to be held but it at least reassures me that he has had his needs taken care of first and shouldn't be too hungry.

#2. Multi-Tasking

One of my single friends saw me the other day and witnessed me juggling the three kids while my almost-two-year-old was throwing an uncharacteristic-of-him tantrum. She was like, "Wow, you must be great at multi-tasking!"

Multi-tasking is a must for any mom, but especially a mom of more than one child. This means you should be able to talk with or read to a toddler while you nurse a baby, and unless you think starving is fun, you should be able to eat one-handed while nursing or holding an infant. Sometimes you will find yourself doing even more than that at a time. Like going to the bathroom while nursing a baby or talking on the phone while nursing the baby and eating supper. Anything involving the phone is an interesting juggling act with 3 kids unless they are all napping.

#3. Don't Expect To Sleep Much

I've always been a night-owl, since I was a tiny infant (whose bassinet got banished to the hallway so my weary parents could sleep) and no matter what stage of life I am in I stay up late. I'm sure my mom gleefully thought that when I was a busy college student, or pregnant or living with a newborn I'd start going to bed at 9 pm every night, but the truth is that even when I'm preggo I don't go to bed until 11 or midnight! Even later if I'm reading a great Joel Rosenberg novel! Even when I have a newborn I keep my consistent bed time and I don't take naps unless I'm really sick or have pulled an all-nighter or had 2 hours or less. I do well with little sleep. Six hours of sleep is fine but 7 is usually ideal when I'm not pregnant and 8 works fine when I am. This has served me well as a mom because you are NEVER, and I repeat you are NEVER EVER guaranteed your sleep when you have kids. I have a friend who took naps even before ever having kids and usually takes one daily now that she has only one kid. I can't understand it! After all, her kid slept 12 hour nights straight through at a month or two and is an easy child! If you are this kind of mom you may want to consider not having more than one kid or learning to live as a walking zombie. I honestly don't have much advice for the mom who is like this and is pregnant with, or has recently had, a third child. Pray pray pray for God's strength and help and learn to pump your milk so your hubby can help with nighttime feedings!

I really liked what "Passionate Housewives Desperate for God" had to say on this subject. So often we make sleep into an idol and think "I NEED my sleep!" Sleep is something we often have to sacrifice as a mom and the lack of sleep can help us to depend on God more. It's not fun, and it's not easy, but we have to learn to walk in the Spirit, with or without sleep. We are physically healthier with sleep and we do truly NEED it in one sense, don't get me wrong, but if we are always worrying about how much sleep we got or setting our expectations too high we will be more frustrated than if we realize that as a mom of little ones, there will be bad dreams, wet beds, colds and flus, and nighttime feedings galore so we should expect that our sleep will be minimal or at least interrupted.

Three 3 and Under--Sleeping Arrangements

We have tried just about everything when it comes to sleeping arrangements for our brood. Ali started off in a little bassinet next to our bed, and sometimes slept between us, and then spent most of her first year in a Pack n' Play in our room because we only had one-room apartments, and we didn't have a real crib. Jer spent much of the first year of his life in a Pack n' Play in our bedroom even though we did have a crib at that point because we were scared to put our tiny boy in the same room with Ali at night.

When it came time to teach Jer to sleep through the night, we tried moving the Pack n' Play to the living room and letting him "cry it out" which didn't work at all and probably made the neighbors super mad. Finally, we moved Ali's toddler bed to our room and put him in his own crib in his own room and that worked wonders. He was a year old at the time. When he was used to sleeping in there, we moved Ali's bed back in there and ever since they have shared a room. However, they cannot share a room at naptimes because they talk and giggle and don't get any sleeping done.

So, I have tried various things for naptimes. For the last year Ali has been napping on my bed. However this poses some challenges as I have to CONSTANTLY be checking up on her and disciplining her for getting off the bed and into my things and jumping on my bed, etc. And no, she doesn't learn, no matter how consistent I am, and does the same irritating things over and over and over endlessly! In order to protect my bed, I have tried having her lay on the living room couch. However, this is even more stressful as I can't do laundry or chores or even be on the computer without her asking me a million questions and refusing to go to sleep.

My most recent experiment is to put Jer on my bed and Ali in her own bed in her room, alone. Justus' bassinet is now in the living room so I can conveniently watch over him as he naps throughout the day and he sleeps between us in our bed at night. Because Jer is a much more obedient and compliant kid, he can go to sleep on my bed without getting into a million things and even if Ali isn't sleepy, at least she is alone and in her own space for an hour or two, which is something I would go crazy without considering how much she exhausts me with her intensity and energy.

Of course it would be ideal to have a huge home where every child could have their own bedroom and have a place to rest and have "quiet time." It's hard not to be envious sometimes when I visit the huge elaborate homes of people I know and think about how nice it would be to have so many rooms, a huge fenced-in yard for the kids to romp in, and a dishwasher, a garage, more storage space, etc. It seems like life would be so much easier if I had these things at my disposable for raising 3 little ones. However, I have to remind myself how blessed I truly am. I make myself remember my rancher friend who is living with her two tiny kids and husband in a one-room trailer an hour away from town in the middle-of-nowhere with no internet, no TV, and no people, other than her folks and brothers and sisters. She only gets to come to town once a week for church and a quick grocery-shopping trip. She thinks I'm spoiled for having dial-up internet and the chance to rent/borrow movies to watch on weekends! I also know that most of the people in this world have far less space to live in than I do. My parents jokingly state that 45 Guatamalans could live in our apartment kitchen! (They visited Guatamala this spring).

So, even if other people have more wealth or more conveniences, we are making it work with what we have and we are learning lessons along the way. When you have a tight place you are forced to declutter and re-arrange constantly and the kids have to learn to share and get along. They have so much fun singing together in their beds after we put them to bed each night. They have had to learn to clean up their things well since our space gets used so much. Our apartment is fairly easy to straighten up and clean since it is such a small space! Because we have lived in such tight quarters, just about any house we buy someday will seem like a mansion!

Oddly enough, a couple of my friends with the biggest houses have said that they too started in very humble circumstances, like living in someone's basement or in a teensy apartment with lots of little kids. One gal even said she envied ME a little bit since she missed those "cozy" days of living in a tiny apartment! Wow!

Sorry for the major rabbit trail but I guess sleeping arrangements always leads me to the topic of housing/envy of other's housing, etc.

For those of you with 3 kids, I'd be interested in hearing how you make sleeping arrangements work at your house!

Three 3 and Under--Trips Out

Well, so far I've been out about 4 times with the 3 kids, not including runs where they have stayed in the car for quick errands like picking up Ali from preschool. One of those times was to a doctor appt. for Ali and for Justus (killing two birds with one stone!) and one of those was on foot to the grocery store. The other two were also grocery runs, but in the van. I know, I know, I said I was going to cut down on grocery runs, but it seems like we're always out of milk or something small, or in yesterday's case there was NO chocolate whatsoever in the house!!! When you're only a couple of blocks from the store and your kids are dying to get out for some fresh air, it's nice to have an errand to run that doesn't take too long!

My best tips for taking the 3 out at this point in time are: nurse the baby before you go, and use the old double stroller (not our double jogger since Justus can's sit up in it yet). Since Ali enjoys walking or helping push the stroller or riding her little bike around, the boys get to ride in the stroller and it keeps my little active boy Jer immobile too! This was invaluable at the doctor's appt!

I've mentioned before on here that learning to keep kids immobile at times is essential. Whether that means one kid is in a sling or backpack or two kids are in a stroller or something, it is the only way to survive with so many little ones. Remember when I said I often apply make-up in the car when they are immobile in carseats? It's much easier to do it that way than to be chasing them around the house while applying make-up or fixing your hair!

For those of you who are seasoned moms of 3, please feel free to leave your own tips or advice here. Even if I don't always ask for advice, I always welcome it (thanks Nicole!)

Three 3 and Under--Laundry

All those stacks of little clothes......a reminder that we have been triply blessed!

How have I managed in the last few weeks to keep up with the laundry? Well, I do 1-2 loads a day first thing in the morning. Even if some days I have a huge stack of laundry to get done, I force myself not to do more than 2 loads or else I get overwhelmed with walking back and forth to the laundry room. I remind myself I still need to rest and being that I can't leave my toddlers alone in the apartment with the baby, I either need to take them to the laundry room or make sure all 3 are napping when I switch loads. Jer wets through his diapers nearly every night even though we use a very strong, name-brand disposable (he drinks like a fish!) so his sheets and security blanket get washed a LOT! Since Justus prefers to sleep between us on our bed right now, he often wets through onto our sheets or his blankets and then there are my milk-leakage problems so it makes for lots of laundry-doing!

I have a friend who is absolutely obsessed with laundry. (That's why I'm not telling her name here.) She dabs each and every little stain on each and every little thing and she hovers over her washer and dryer like crazy. She obsesses over how much time each article needs to dry and hang dries many things and is always checking the load and feeling which individual pieces are ready or not ready. Frankly, though I love her to death, I want to tell her to get a life. She spends triple the amount of time I do on laundry! I just don't have that kind of time when it comes to clothes that will be instantly re-soiled! She has been accused of dirtying a towel or something just so she can wash a load of laundry and you would be hard-pressed to find an article of dirty clothing in her home. While she folds each item carefully with military precision, I don't bother folding undies at all and often wonder why I even fold Ali's clothes since they go into her clothing tub and are immediately rifled through and unfolded as she changes outfits often (though we've now trained her to only change now when she spills something on her clothes or gets truly dirty).

At this stage of my life I don't even really sort clothes (gasp!) I do usually do a load of whites together once every other week (we don't have many) and I do all the kitchen towels and kitchen washcloths together and my husband's icky work clothes are washed separately, but since I use a scent-free homemade laundry detergent powder, I can mix baby clothes, towels, my clothes, etc. and they all come out fine. I'm not a picky person and at this stage I need to do what is simple! Usually the regular food stains come out fine in the wash without being pre-treated, but for extra-tough stains, I soak the item in a little bucket with some OxiClean Versatile and then throw it in the laundry and it almost always comes out!

One thing that makes laundry-doing easy at this stage of life is to have clothing tubs as opposed to dressers. I fold the laundry on our couch and try to put it away as soon as I can. Since Baby Justus seems to hate the bassinet we got him (thankfully a friend sold it to us at a yard-sale price) we have been storing his clean stacks of laundry there for quick access! Each of the other kids has a clothing tub in their room where I can quickly deposit stacks of clothes. In Jer's tub of clothes there are four stacks, one for pjs, one for pants, one for shirts, and one for complete outfits. As I mentioned before, Ali's tub is a jumble of unfolded clothing as she often goes rummaging through it. And yet...I continue to fold her clothes before she puts them away....go figure! She has a separate little bin for socks and another for undies and lately she's been "delegating" her own laundry chores to Jer, who thinks it is absolutely wonderful fun to put her socks and undies away!

So, my tip for doing laundry for Three 3 and Under is to keep laundry simple and don't sweat the small stuff. No offense to my laundry-lovin' friend! *w*

Three 3and Under---If List.....

I love "If Lists..." so of course I had to do one on this subject! Believe it or not, I survived my first full week of caring for the 3 kids by myself and love it! Does that mean it was easy or that it's not hard to find time to go to the bathroom sometimes? No. But what it does mean is that all of my kids are precious to me and I love having another one in spite of the work involved. I have found it to be incredibly stressful to babysit regularly for one or two extra kids in the past when I only had one or two of my own, but having 3 now that are all MINE is wonderful!

Here's my list! I'm sure I'll be adding to it as time goes on. After all, I've only been at this 2 weeks (seasoned moms of 3 or more are chuckling over what I have yet to experience!) Many of these things could apply to moms in general even if you only have one or two kids!

You Might Have 3 Kids 3 and Under If............

*You've ever been so busy you've "forgotten" to eat

*Before you are allowed to eat at any given meal you must fill 2 sippy cups, prepare and warm up 4 people's food one plate at a time, re-fill sippy cups, re-fill plates, nurse the baby, wash kids' hands, encourage toddlers to eat, pick food off the floor, and wipe your preschooler. Then, and only then, you can sit down and eat your food while holding the baby.

*You can do just about anything while you're nursing, including typing at the computer without missing a beat, cooking supper, reading, talking on the phone, going to the bathroom and doing it successfully, chasing after a naughty almost-2-year old, reading stories to your other kids, doling out a consequence for bad behavior, cleaning house, etc.

*You get comments all the time from random folks at the grocery store who say "You must be one busy mama!"

*You get sick of people thinking that you have a baby every single year just because the oldest is 3. In reality, they are all about 2 years apart.

*Your husband gets teased by co-workers about why he has so many kids.

*You are dubbed a "babymaker" by some of your relatives who don't understand why you like children.

*You have been either pregnant or nursing for the last 50 months!!!

*You have 3 adoring fans who love you more than anyone else in the world.

*You have 3 chubby little faces to kiss and cuddle all day long.

*3 three and under is a natural birth control. Huh? Both you and your husband wonder how some couples have the time and energy to even conceive a fourth.....

*In the blink of an eye you went from an economical college car to minivan full of carseats, from roller blades to a double jogger stroller, from a sporty mountain bike to a bike with kid cart attached, and from backpacks to diaper bags.

*You have unbelievable amounts of toys, even though you carefully rotate and don't buy many for your kids.

*Your storage shed holds baby paraphernalia in all shapes and sizes. You own all stages of carseats, swings, bouncy chairs, exersaucers, and slings. You have enough receiving blankets to make a parachute.

*Your doctor thankfully decides to skip the main spiel at the hospital about taking home a newborn and just reminds you of a couple of the biggies!

*Talking on the phone with screaming, crying, and whining going on in the background is normal for you so you don't even notice it and talk above it. After all, you relish a little adult conversation and if you waited until your kids were quiet, you'd NEVER talk on the phone!

*You have a secret energy source. Whether it's a Big Slam of Diet Pepsi, 10 cups of coffee a day, or a huge mug of strong Hot cocoa (this is mine), super vitamins (these help) or going jogging, you have found a way to keep yourself going.

*You don't sweat the small stuff anymore. In fact, you get a kick out of the first-time mommies who do, since you used to be them!

Three 3 and Under---Pace of Living

One big blessing of having 3 little ones, is that the pace of living has changed for us. Don't get me wrong, there are still endless chores to do and I still stay plenty busy keeping up with all of their needs, but I have found that our life has become a bit simpler and slower-paced.

For example, I believe that others' expectations of us have changed during this stage. We are getting far fewer invites to playdates and outings. We can't always make it to our evening committments and don't have to feel guilty about it. The folks at church aren't asking me to commit to any new roles and in fact are asking if I'm sure I can still be in charge of the nurseries (something I can still easily do), and the doctor's office is wonderful about scheduling my kids' appointments all together so that I can "kill two birds with one stone."

My expectations of myself have changed too. While my house is much neater than it was when I was pregnant and I now have energy and motivation to cook nice meals, I feel less pressure to have my house perfect when visitors drop by. After all, if the visitor has 3 kids, then they will be understanding of the toy messes and if they don't have 3 kids they will merely assume, rightly so, that when you have 3 kids you are too busy to clean everything all the time! I have given myself more grace as a mother of 3 since I have few friends with 3 kids to compare myself and my house to!

Instead of planning out an ambitious schedule for myself, I have cut back on my own expectations of what I can realistically accomplish and have proposed to stay home more. Does this mean we'll NEVER get out? Of course not! Does this mean that our schedule and habits won't change in several months or a year? Of course not! But when one has a nursing baby who needs lots of cuddling and attention, it is only common sense to cut back on errands, shopping, and outings. The fact that it takes a lot of effort to get out and about makes me deeply consider whether or not we really need to get out. Will the effort of going to the park be worth the amount of energy the kids will expend there? Can I possibly squeak by another couple of days without milk and substitute powdered milk in things? What creative concoction can I come up with for lunch instead of running to the store or my favorite local sub shop? Instead of going to the thrift shop to "look around" I won't go with 3 unless I absolutely need something. Instead of trying to take all 3 to Safeway, I will wait until my hubby is home and go once a week in the evening for a much more peaceful shopping trip. (The other grocery store in town is more kid-friendly so I took the kids there the other day and it was fine.) Instead of using outings to entertain my active kids and get them out of a small apartment, I pull things out of the closet they haven't played with in a while.

Therefore, in spite of the fact that we have had added another lil' one to the family, the pace of life has changed for the better. His tiny presence in the home reminds us of the importance of family and home above other pursuits and activities. The many, many times Justus needs to be nursed in a day force me to sit down, relax, and read more stories to the other kids. With more time in the home, my dishes are caught up and I have time to prepare an elaborate supper. If I feel up to getting out I can take the kids to the park or on a walk but if I don't, I can take a nap with them!

I love having 3!

Three 3 and Under---Taking a Shower

The long hot shower I took in the hospital after my epidural wore off sure felt amazing! However it was a few days until I got another one because once we got home there just never seemed to be time for one! I have discovered as a mom of 3, at least for this season of my life, that I need to be very proactive about taking a shower or it won't happen! So, here's my game plan:

*Showers have been cut back to every other day unless I get covered in a really icky mess. I actually started this during my third pregnancy to save time and energy. I had read that too much hair washing actually made your hair greasier and so I "weaned" my hair from a daily shampooing to an every-other-day shampooing. It has been great for me all around in that my hair seems healthier, it's cheaper to be using half the amount of shampoo (but I get all my shampoo free from Walgreens anyway =) and I have more time as I'm the type of person who gets in hot shower and has a tough time getting out until the water turns cold! I'm sure we're saving on our electric bill too!

*Showers are mostly taken at night now. Because there is so much to do in the morning with getting all 3 kids fed, diapers changed, clothes on, and trying to just squeeze in a quick breakfast for myself and a chance to go potty, I have found that it is so much easier to take a shower at night when all 3 are sleeping before I go to bed. I don't mind sleeping with wet hair and being that my hair is long now I don't have to worry that it will wreck my style or dry in a crazy way. This way when I get up in the morning I can quickly fix my hair and get dressed without having to wander around the house in my pjs for half the morning until an opportune time for a shower comes along.

If by chance I miss my night-time shower and find myself needing one in the morning, I try to take it when Jer is taking a morning nap and have Ali shower with me while Justus sleeps, or let Ali watch a kid's movie for a little while and bring Justus into the bathroom in his carseat to protect him. But this is a lot of extra work so the night time showers work the best for this stage of life right now!

*The kids get a bath or shower almost every evening before bed in the summer time because they are always getting dirty or sticky outside. If I happen to shower when they are awake, they usually want to jump in with me, which keeps them out of trouble at least!

Three 3 and Under---First Trip Out

Today was my first day out of the house with all 3 of the kids! I'm happy to report that it went very well even though I was feeling a bit tired this morning. I know that it won't always be easy and there will be some really harrowing experiences with doing this in the future, but it went well today. We first went up to the hospital for Justus' second PKU poke. The lab had a little children's corner with toys that kept my older two occupied until it was time for them to poke him. After that, he was howling and unhappy and so I just let the kids play in the waiting room with the toys while I nursed him to calm him down and get him happy. Then we all headed off to the grocery store since we really really needed milk and Jeremiah kept begging for a sippy of milk all morning. I knew that my many friends in the grocery store would also enjoy seeing the baby. It went very smoothly and I especially appreciate the amount of room in our van and the doors and back end that open at the touch of a button! I was also delighted to discover that Ali can not only unbuckle herself she can also unbuckle Jeremiah and help him out of his car seat, leaving me the job of helping him jump down out of the van and getting the baby.

So, all in all, what did I learn today about having three 3 and under? Well, that if you have trained your kids to listen well and they are in relatively good moods, that taking 3 out is very manageable and can be fun!!!

My kids were delighted to each receive a piece of candy when we got home as a reward from a Mommy who was so proud of their behavior!