Kid Quotes

 

The kids love playing cowboys and cowgirls and barn dance.  They made marshmallows out of toilet paper and these books are their graham crackers at their cowboy camp.

 

 

 

Ali:  I like Jesus and weaving.

Jer:  I like God and Batman.

Justus:  I don't like God.  (Pause for shock value).  I  LOVE  God.

(He always has to find a way to disagree or get the last word in!)

 

 

 

Katri prays this prayer of hers at every meal:

Thank you for Jer and Ali and Just and my whole wife.

(She means whole life)

 

 

 

Katri patted Ali's head and began running her fingers through Ali's dark hair.  She turned to face her sis and said, "I yike your hay-oh (hair).  Can I have it?"

 

 

 

One of the kid's Bible verses is "Let us love one another for love comes from God."  I asked the kids, "Where does love come from?"  KK, seeing a heart shape on the paper, piped up, "From hearts!!!"

 

 

 

One night I prayed that Katri would grow up to be a godly woman who follows the Lord.  After the prayer she said, "Mooom!  I don't want to be a woman!!!"

I asked her why.

She replied, "I would be scared to be a woman."

I asked her if she wanted to be a big girl like Ali and she was okay with that!

 

 

 

My little boy is growing up!  Once so sensitive the slightest thing could make him howl, Jeremiah came home from the bike park last night all skinned-up from having a crash in the bowl.  He showed me his wounds and then smiled bravely and said, "Don't you worry about me Mom.   I'm gonna be okay!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

Funnies

I've been wanting to share some of these funnies for a while.

Hope you get a kick out of them.

Sweet Buns

A certain guy was having lunch with us at a restaurant. He had ordered a hamburger and it ended up being enormous! There was a beautiful, sesame-topped bun on top of the hamburger and the waitress, whom I knew, set his plate down and turned to grab another plate off of her little serving stand. Right as she bent over this guy proclaimed loudly, looking at his hamburger, "Wow! Those are some sweet buns!" The waitress quickly looked at him, shocked, and my hubby and I couldn't help but giggle ourselves silly while trying to pretend we weren't and avoid embarrassing the now flushing waitress. Our poor friend must have turned 10 shades of red and didn't know how he could possibly correct what had just gone down, so he didn't try. His girlfriend, now wife, was there with him, giggling too. At least he said, "sweet" instead of "big!"

Hellbound Parents

Someone we know gave a testimony in church on Easter Sunday at the pastor's request. He was very nervous. In the midst of his testimony he said, "I heard about Hell and was scared and didn't want to go there because I knew my parent's would be there....." OOPS! He meant to say WOULDN'T! Again, it was pure torture not bursting out in loud guffaws during that service.
"So that's what you think of us, huh, Son?"

Don't Ask a Question

If You Can't Handle the Answer

Recently a friend of mine from High School eloped with her fiancee. She had her parent's blessing, and she still plans to go through with the big wedding in June, and she's nearly 30 so it's not like it was an awful thing. When questioned at work by fellow Christian school teachers about why she eloped, this sweet, quiet, pastor's daughter replied, "Well the Bible says that it's better to marry than to burn with passion." Awkward silence...........

The Best of COF--That's Funny Honey!

I asked our married readers to share stories anonymously of funny things their husbands have said or done.

My husband says funny things all the time to me, but he not only speaks with his mouth, he uses body language a lot. Here's one thing he likes to do: He puts one leg forward while extending one arm and pointing at me, while winking with his eye and clicking his tongue loudly, then proclaiming something like, "Why, hello!" in a lower than normal voice. In general, he likes doing things to get my reaction and make me smile. I love my husband! :) OH, one more funny thing he says a lot, is "Dear Abby, ....." and then continues with whatever is on his mind at the time.
Comedian Hubby in the Forest

For Christmas, my mother-in-law gave us a pack of onesies for our upcoming baby. However, on the package, they're called "body suits." My husband looked at that and commented: "I thought the baby's supposed to come out alive!" (Body suits...body bags...same thing, eh?!) Fortunately his mother was distracted elsewhere and didn't hear...she would have flipped!
Daddy-to-Be in the State With Zero Trees

My husband gazed at me with adoration and said, “Honey, you haven’t lost an ounce of beauty since we got married. In fact, I think you’ve gained ounces!”
Flattering (or not!) Hubby in the Desert

　
While I was out of town, he lovingly cleaned the house and had the brilliant idea to spray Odor Eater's foot spray on the pillows to "freshen them up". It left lovely yellow stains and not a lovely smell!
Housekeeping Hubby on the Coast

Back when my husband was still my fiancé he was going to compliment my smile. Just as he was going to say the words, he thought in his head, “Wouldn’t it be awful if I said yellow instead of white?” Sure enough, his mind scrambled his words and I heard, “You have such beautiful yellow teeth!” We were both quite shocked at his comment but laughed hysterically over it!
Tongue-Twisted Hubby in the Wild West

I was working on our wedding pictures the other day and showed my husband what I had accomplished and he said, “Man, we were skinny then." The other one that sticks out to me is him saying he was going to propose to me in a caveman outfit (which came about because I answered him a certain way when he asked a question, and he was like, "Caveman understand.")
Caveman Hubby in Tornado Country

One evening I was getting ready for bed and washing up in the bathroom while my husband was in the kitchen. As soon as I came out, I walked into the bedroom without turning on the light, and turned to the closet to throw some clothes in the laundry basket. There, standing in my closet looking out at me in the shadows, was a man! I screamed at the top of my lungs! My husband later told me that he felt bad that he scared me so much. He really had intended to just give me a little fright, not scare the wits out of me--but that's what happened!
Monster Hubby in the North

When my husband and I were just dating, I was raising money for a missions trip I was planning to go on. As a joke, he put a fake check made out for $10,000 in an envelope and hand-delivered it to me. I could see the numbers through the envelope and was so excited! He was from a wealthy family so I honestly thought it was for real. I don’t know if this counts as the meanest thing he’s ever done or the funniest!
Paying-for-it-Now in Big Sky Country

Kid Funnies

A MagnaDoodle drawing of Justus by Ali

We were taking a walk and went by an enormous brick mansion. I said, "Wow! That's a big house!" Ali said, "One guy really loves his wife." I was confused wondering how she jumped from talking about houses to husbands and wives. I asked her what she meant and she said, "One guy loved his wife a LOT because he made her a really big house! He do'd his best work." I chuckled and thought, "I guess LOVE is spelled H-O-U-S-E in Ali's mind! We'll have to mention this to her future husband someday!"

One day I heard Ali saying to a toy that wasn't doing what she wanted it to, "Ugh! This hates me!" I don't know where she got the phrase but it was funny!

I was rolling the whole wheat bread into loaf shapes and Ali said, "That looks like poop!"

Ali told us, "I don't like Bobs or Larrys." What she means is that she won't eat tomatoes or cucumbers.

One day Ali had a little friend over for the day. I heard her telling her 5 year old friend, "You talk funny just like my friend _____ at preschool!" I began listening to them as they talked and then I noticed that the little friend can't pronounce her R's and had somewhat of an accent.

Nothing like honesty in a friendship!

I asked Ali a review question for our Little House on the Prairie daily reading. I said, "What were Laura's Daddy's new horses named?" The real answer is, "Pet and Patty." She said, "Pet and Rebate."

Ali said her bedtime prayers and said, "Please help Daddy not to be goofy and silly. Amen!" We have no idea where she got this one from!

One day before the wedding when I was getting stressed I really hollered at the kids and apologized and asked their forgiveness and prayed in front of them too, telling them that Jesus doesn't like Mama to yell and wants Mama to be good. So, the next day Ali's prayer was, "Thank you for Momma. Help her not to yell at us and help her to learn stuff with You and to be good. Amen."

I told Ali she was such a good helper for Mama and was being so nice. She said, "Everyday I want to 'cuz everyday I'm sweet enough."

One day we overheard our kids saying to one another, "I got this at Walgreens." The other one said, "I got this at Wal-Mart on a really good sale!"

Kid Funnies

Jer came into the kitchen one morning and said, "I'm a big talker." (There's the understatement of the century! I don't know where he heard this phrase, but this kid is proof that it's not just little girls that are verbal! His daddy says he is never without a car in his hand and a word in his mouth.)

One day Jer looked at me curiously and in a sweet little voice said, "Are you cwazy (crazy)?"

One day Jer walked up to me and said, "You da king!!!"

Jer is getting into praying over the food. One day he prayed, "Thanks for Daddy, and Justus and puppy, and Daddy..." (For one thing, we don't have a puppy, and for another, what about Mommy, the one who takes care of him all day long? How come he's doubly thankful for Daddy?) Tonight he prayed specifically for each person in the family and that they would all feel better, even though only Daddy is sick. I guess it wouldn't hurt to feel better than we currently feel!

I'm trying to teach Jer not to pick his nose. So often when I look at him he says, "See! I not pickin' my boogahs!"

I overheard Ali say to Jer while playing, "If you want to marry me you have to be nice to me!!!"

One day Jer came up and batted his long lashes at me and said, "Mama, will you mae-wee (marry) me?" Awww!

Tonight Ali asked, "Can God have vitamins?"

When we first became parents we determined to have our kids call Uncle Colter and Uncle Grant Coco and GooGoo since their names are difficult for little ones to pronounce (and partly since it's a way at getting back at little brothers who tormented me.) So, ever since Ali could talk, this is what they go by. The other day, I said, "Guess who is coming on an airplane in just a week?" Ali yelled, "Hot Coco and Anna!!!" I about died! Maybe Anna will take to calling him "Hot Coco."

I made a fancy barbie cake and decorated it in front of our friends' twins. I then asked Kennedy, "Do you have a barbie with black hair I could borrow to make a make another cake?" She said, "Yeah, I have one, but my barbie isn't a cake!" (As if to say, "Goofy lady, my barbie is a toy and isn't edible!")

Too Funny!

I found these at the Dave Ramsey site. You won't understand them very well unless you've listened to Dave's radio show! I highly recommend Dave's show and all of his materials!

The Dave Ramsey Pick-Up Lines for 2009

You look familiar ... didn't I deliver a pizza to you last week?

You're so hot you could melt my debt snowball.

Good thing I have identity theft insurance, because you stole my heart!

Call me your mutual fund, honey ... 'cause with you, I'm showing interest.

Are you unpaid credit card debt? Because you have got FINE written all over you!

If you turn me down, my life will look like a country song.

When I saw you, my jaw dropped like the value of a new car.

You should be my retirement plan ... you'd put the "OK" in my 401k.

I still have money in my restaurant envelope ... can I buy you dinner?

Why am I nervous about talking to you? Because you're better than I deserve.

From the Mouth of King Jo

Mrs. Jo: "Honey, I thought we weren't going to get each other things for Valentine's Day this year because we can't afford it right now."

King Jo: "You can never afford not to try to please your woman."

(He likes to surprise me with flowers before the actual holiday and all of his flower picks are unique and for a reason. The roses are for love and there are 5 different ones to represent the 5 people in our family.)

Kid Funnies This Week

Ali took her brothers for Show N' Tell last week on her special day at preschool.

One of the little boys told the class that his grandma was going to have a baby too. Apparently his grandma has a baby dog in her tummy that is going to come out soon. The teacher replied, "I'm going to be rich when I sell this story to the Enquirer!"

Overheard, "You are the Dad, I'm the Grammy, Mom is the Mom, and Justus is the kid." (Playing house. I guess being the Grammy is more exciting than being the mom or the sister these days!)

"Mom can we watch Winnie the Poo-Poo?" (How many times do I have to tell you kids it's Pooh! What is a Pooh bear anyway and who came up with calling him that?)

Jer stumbled on a toy and began crying when he hurt his foot. Ali immediately burst into song, "Oh be careful little feet where you walk....."

Daddy told Ali she was a beautiful little princess one night when he was tucking her in. She said, "Thank you Daddy. And you are a very manly man."

Jer put his face in the water in the bathtub and swallowed some water. He choked and sputtered a couple of times. Nothing major at all. Ali said, "Are you okay?" He replied, "Yeah. I dwounded."

She said, "Oh, you drowned?"

"Yep, I dwounded. I'm okay now."

Ali's new favorite phrase is, "Here's the deal..." I wonder if I say this a lot? It sounds awfully funny coming from a small person saying it so matter-of-factly.

Not sure where Ali got this, but she's always running up to Justus and saying, "Hey Best Friend! We're forever friends! You love your sister, don't you? It's okay, don't cry Best Friend! You're my bestest friend in the whole world!" (Good thing Jer is still too young to care and realize his feelings should be hurt.)

Ali prayed today for Justus at breakfast since it's "his" day. She said, "Thank You for the Little Cutie." This is one of her nicknames for him.

What do Minnesotans Do For Fun?

Jer watched this with me and said, "Dat's funny, on da 'puter."

And if you thought there is no way I could quote John Piper on yet another post, especially of this nature, ...you don't know me very well!

Kid Funnies

King Jo and I used to always compete to get our kids to say Dada or Mama first. Now there's someone else in the running! Ali was saying, "Justus, can you say Sister?"

I was telling my hubby how porky Justus is getting and he started calling him Pork N' Beans. The kids heard it and started yelling, "Fork and Beans." The funny thing is that Jer can't pronounce r's and so it sounds really bad. Not a nickname we hope sticks!

Today Ali looked at me and said, "You are my enemy. I love my enemies." (Mmmm. Wonder what she learned in Sunday School yesterday?)

One day I overheard Ali telling Jer that they were going to get married. She made him hold her hands and they danced around, hugged, kissed on the lips and said they were married. It was very funny and cute. She always says she is going to marry Jer when she grows up.

Jer was putting food on his racecar placemat and I asked him what he was doing. He said, "Feeding my wace-cah."

Kid Funnies

Overheard:

*Ali closed her eyes and bowed her head, "Thank You for my cookie and lots of things you give us." Jeremiah promptly copied her and said the exact same thing. It was so cute!

*Ali saying to Justus (in a sweet, baby-talk voice) "You like sister the best, don't you?"

*Ali saying to Jer, "We need to wash our hands before we eat, it's a message from the Lord." (then proceding to sing the Veggie Tales song "A message from the Lord" off of her Jonah movie.




Daddy was explaining why he calls milk "moo juice" to the kids. He was talking about how cows have milk and Ali pointed at me and said, "and her too!"

Ali told me enthusiastically she could count to 30. I was impressed. After 29 she began saying, 20-10. 20-11, 20-12.......

Red Cheeks

So...I painted another dresser yesterday so it will match the other one in our room. Pics of our "New Bedroom" are coming soon...

Let me ask you: Is there some law of nature that says that if you pull all your undergarments and lingerie out of all of our dresser drawers and have them laying all over a chair in the living room, that it is guaranteed that:

*Someone will drop by unexpectedly even if you never get drop-in guests
*Someone will drop by in the 5 minutes between taking them all out of the dresser and bagging them up to stick in your bedroom
*That someone will notice them out of all of the other things to look at in your house
*That someone will be male
*That someone will be someone you will see lots of times in the future

My husband doesn't think it's a big deal, especially since the guy is married. However, I'm still groaning....

One More Funny

I just posted a bunch of sayings/funnies from my kids last night. However I have one more to add that happened this morning. Justus has been an absolute pill the last two nights, not letting me get much, if any, sleep. So, I was laying across my bed, trying to muster up enough energy to get up this morning and Ali came into my room. She looked at me seriously and asked, "Do you feel like you are going to die?" I was so stunned by her question that I decided to humor her. "Yes, I do!" She said, "Don't worry Mom. You aren't gonna die until you are very old. You're not old." Then she trotted off to the kitchen and we heard her say to Jer-Bear, "Mom feels like she is going to die. We need to pray for her."

What a girl!

Kid Funnies

So this is what an idol looks like?
Gender compromise. A monster truck tea party?

Jer said, "I wuv you Ali."

Due to the fact that we've been learning the 10 Commandments and sometimes our Bible storybooks talk about the Israelites bowing down to idols....Ali came running into the kitchen one day with a blanket over her head declaring she was an idol. Jer immediately copied her and they both ran around with blankets over their head until Jer bumped into something!

One day Ali was missing Fernie and Frida and declared, “I want a friend to play with who’s not in my family!”

Jer always says, “Dust-this Abe-uh-ham is cute?” or “Dus-this Abe-uh-ham is kwy-ing.” He almost never calls him by just his first name.


Ali asks Jer, “Which princess are you? I’m the pink one” (pointing to one of the three on her swimsuit.) Then Jer will choose one and say, “I’m dis pwincess.” You can tell Jer hangs around a sister all the time. He’s always asking me, “Is dis pink?” or saying, “Want make-up!”

Jer scribbled on a piece of paper and asked, “Is dat my name?”

Jer never fails to remind us to pray for Uncle Coco every single night for months! Ali often asks for prayer for Auntie Kika and Grandpa Joel and Grandma Kathy. Recently Jer has added on to his requests for Coco; “Pway fa Daniel.” Sweet! He also likes to do repeat-after-me prayers.

One of Jer’s favorite phrases, “It’s a MONSTA!!!!” (monster) big eyes, horrified expression) He loves to talk about monsters (mainly because Ali has talked about them and they both love anything scary). He also loves to talk about Gwizz-wee bears and Wy-uns (lions) with a shocked expression too. He always talks about going to the zoo next summer and he gets big eyes and says, “wy-uns bite you!!!” They are both still scared of possums too! Ali points to the killer whale in their animal book and says, "A killing whale!" They love pointing out all the animals that bite! When we were in my dad's pasture and his horses started following us Jer said, "Do horses bite you?"

Jerby goes to Sunday School now. Ali says, “I’ll take care of him and watch him!!!” She is so willing to be a helper and be the second mama.

Today Jer frowned, made a puppy-dog face and said, “My duckie is wost!!!” If I ask Jer where something is he usually replies, “Don’t know. Is maybe wost!” (lost)

The other day I heard Ali coaching Jer on how he could climb on something to turn the lights on an off. Daddy taught him to open door knobs recently too since Ali often would shut him in his bedroom. Uh-oh! The age of newfound independence!

Ali will often kick people to get attention. So, Josiah taught her to gently tickle instead of yelling or being naughty. Then she tickled him so much he couldn’t take it and so he said she needs to ask for attention instead. So now, whenever Daddy is home you will hear her saying constantly, “I need attention!!!!” It’s so funny to hear!

Ali thinks our special prayer days (praying for a family member on the day of the week they were born) is the coolest thing ever. She excitedly asks every day whose day it is to be prayed for. Today she announced, "It's your special day Daddy!" then turned to me and said ecstatically, "You get to pray for your husband!!!" On her day, Friday, she said cheerfully, "Today is my day! You can pray for your naughty kid!" I was horrified and tried to assure her that she is not my naughty kid even if she often does bad things and that she is special and loved and a very sweet little girl!

You Been Hunting?

My darling King Jo surprised me tonight with some lovely pink flowers. I'm not sure what kind they are as I've never seen them before but they look like very skinny and long roses. As he waited in line at the floral area of the grocery store, a guy buying a large bouquet turned to him and said, "You must have gone hunting too?"

He replied, "No, I just have a wonderful wife who has been a blessing lately." (I wonder what the guy thought of that!)

Funny stuff!

Letters of Love

Who says the romance has to die just because we have lots of small children?

My hubby always leaves me fun messages with the bath letters!

Kid Funnies

We pulled out the potty chair to see if Jer was remotely interested in learning to go potty. He knows that if he goes he will get a small piece of candy like a chocolate chip. He was trying hard because he really wanted some candy. All that came out was air.

He said, “Me tooted. Get candy?”

Ali was eating burritos with sour cream on them and stated, “This is yummy shaving cream.”

(Keep in mind that Ali somehow developed the idea that people with moustaches are bad…..)
Daddy was explaining to Ali that we need to be kind to the neighbors because God loves them. He was saying God is nice and wants us to be nice. Ali answered, “Oh. Does He have a moustache?”

Ali passed gas at the table and we said, “What do you say Ali?” Her immediate response was, “It wasn’t me. It was Bear-Bear!”

I was reading something funny and was chuckling. Jer heard me and said, “Dustthis tooted?” (Apparently we laugh over that a lot in this household!)

Ali was eating lunch with her daddy and said, “Guess what, at preschool today we had ranch and carrots and I was licking the ranch off my plate and the teacher said not to do that and I told her my daddy taught me to.” (And the sad thing is, he did!)

I asked, “Ali do you like the home schooled girls that come in to help Miss Jenny teach preschool?” Ali replies, “Yes! They don’t have moustaches!”

We asked, “Ali, do you like Boppa? He has a moustache.” She said, “I like just his whole body but not his moustache.” We asked, “What about Grandpa Joel?” She said, “I like him, but not his moustache.” And the same response about Uncle Coco and Uncle Paul.

We all sang Jesus Loves the Little Children to the baby. After we finished Ali said, “You forgot pink!” I said, “Are there pink children?” She said, “Yep!”

Daddy cut his hair with the Flow-bee. Ali didn’t notice his cut until a day or two later. All of a sudden she said, “Daddy, you cut your hair! You look like a boy!” (Did he look like a girl with hair an inch longer?)

Parody

If you have followed my predicaments with our interesting neighbors, you will want to check out the song I wrote for Julie's parody contest a couple of weeks ago. I didn't win, but I did blow off some steam after the whole incident with picking up their daughter's poo in the yard....

Check out my song lyrics.

Kid Funnies

I found this embarrassing story on the web. It's hysterical! Of course it's author is anonymous!


"If you have young children, you’ll understand this. My three-year-old daughter had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on her constantly. A few weeks ago we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my 1 month-old son and he was clean. Then I realized that Mandy had not asked to go potty in a while, so I asked her if she needed to go, and she said, “No.” I kept thinking, “Oh no, that child has had an accident, and I don’t have any clothes with me.” Then I said, “Honey, are you SURE you didn’t have an accident?” “No,” she replied. I just KNEW that she must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse. Soooooo, I asked one more time, “Miranda Suzanne Smith! Did you have an accident!?” This time she jumped up, yanked down her panties pulled up her dress, bent over and spread her cheeks and yelled. “SEE MOMMY, IT’S JUST TOOTS!!” While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing, she calmly pulled up her panties and sat down. An old couple made me feel better by thanking me for the best laugh they’d ever had! I should have taken her word for it! When I got home and told my husband, he almost died laughing."

Funny!

Someone sent me this in a forward this week and it was just too funny NOT to post on my blog. How would you like this to be your license plate number?