The Flaws Behind the Fun

 

This is what my oldest, most mature and health-conscious kid ate at the last church picnic.

"At least I got some fruit Mom!  I would have gotten whipped cream too but it was gone."

 

Sigh.  We didn't have the energy to police the numerous trips of our four kids through the buffet line while chatting with church friends. 

 

This picture displays just a small taste of something that is very rare on the internet. 

The flaws behind the fun.

 

Millions of people, myself included, are posting pictures online of their successes and joys.  Selfies, ducklips (can't stand these!), pool parties, concerts, milestones, vacations, dates, new babies, joyous announcements, new clothes or toys, work promotions, etc. etc.  Not that sharing any of these things are bad; it's not.  In fact, it's great to share our joys with others and it helps us stay in touch with loved ones across the miles.  It can be very encouraging to see others' blessings.

 

 

Yet, if we're being truly honest, we'll admit that we showcase our "good" far more than we reveal our "bad."  Social media is infiltrated with self-exaltion and artificiality.  We hide behind shiny posts and happy pictures on a screen.  Statistics show that more people come away from facebook depressed instead of encouraged.  Many of my friends have talked about the pressures of Pinterest, the modern equivalent of multiple women's magazines, (though we love it dearly) or popular mommy blogs and how inadequate they can make us feel if we aren't careful in our use of them.

 

 

Sometimes we hide our flaws online without even thinking about it.  Often we do it intentionally.  Sometimes it's a desire for personal privacy, a fear of sounding weak or like a whiner, or an attempt at not dwelling on the negative in life.

Usually, it's about making ourselves look really good.

 

 

It's even easy for me to look over photo albums of years gone by and forget the flaws behind the photos.  I smile fondly at the cute pictures of our babies and forget the numerous trials we went through.

"Oh, he was so cute. Back when I only had two little ones. Life was so good and easy back then! That tiny apartment...oh so quaint. How I miss that sweet little place that was so easy to clean!"

 

Wait a minute....reality check please...the baby that didn't let me sleep more than 2 hours at a time for 16 months and who wanted to be held constantly? Two kids in diapers? No coat closet or space for anything in general?  The utter lack of privacy and the rude neighbor who hated kids? Sharing one washer and one dryer with 27 other people and having no windows to the outside world and no air conditioning? Wasn't I pregnant and continually nauseous when that picture was taken?

Oh....yeah.

It's so easy to sugar-coat our lives we can even do it to our memories.

 

But doing so does little to serve the Body of Christ.

 

 

Though I love sharing fun pictures of life in our family on this blog and think that photography can be a way to glorify God and savor the little blessings in each day, I don't ever want to mistakenly give the impression that we are a great Christian family that really has it all together and doesn't struggle or bomb it big time at times.  Though I, like most people, am more likely to share about the shining moments of our life, as a way to archive our family fun and share tips here, I also want my friends and readers to know that the pictures they see are just a small part of our day.  A small 2D glimpse of a large 4D life.

 

 

The number one comment I get from people who like my writings is that they love hearing the "dirt" on us.  They love honesty and hearing about how hard our life is.  It's not because they want to see us fail or because they hate us (at least I hope not) but rather because they finally feel understood.

 

They get it because they're messed up too.

They are tired of people saying how great and awesome and fun life is.

Because much of the time it isn't.

Hearing someone say that it's hard, confusing, and painful is refreshing because it's true.

Hearing someone talk about fear, doubt, dicouragement, depression, or anger hits home for them.

Authenticity is a breath of fresh air.

 

So, this post is just a little reminder amidst a plethora of our fun summer pictures and trips. 

 

We are having a LOT of fun.

We are doing a LOT of great things.

But we're also having a lot of NOT FUN moments.

We're also doing a LOT of falling and failing.

 

If my in-real-life friends were to do a guest interview on this blog they could tell you about my kid that is constantly disobeying and my pathetic attempts to de-rail his behavior and how much more time I spend complaining about him than I do praying for him.  About the bags under my eyes some days, the crumbs on our floors, and the dirty dishes in my sink.  They could show pictures of my bad hair days and outdated sense of fashion, our weed-filled yard, and van full of random and smelly kid stuff.  They could tell you of my selfishness, my grumpiness with motherhood, my germ-o-phobic ways, how much I gossip, etc. etc. etc.  They are all truly far too nice to really rat me out with those things.......but they definitely could. 

Those things are just the tip of the iceberg.  Please don't interview my kids or my husband!

 

 

Life is difficult.  Parenting is. so. difficult.  Some evenings my husband and I can barely sit up straight and speak a sentence to one another because we are so run down.  My husband works a physically draining job that can be excruciating during the summer.  This week he drank over 300 ounces of water in one day lifting logs in 100 degree heat from dawn to dusk.  His face is red, his neck is blackened by the sun, and he thinks he has a metal shaving in his eyeball from grinding a nail this week.  He works his fingers to the bone to provide for his family. 

 

Twelve-hour days with my kids' constant demands for attention, overseeing 29 "food interactions" per day, refereeing approximately 4 hours of fighting a day, cleaning up at least 1 potty mess and 1 blood mess per day in addition to helping little ones in the bathroom all day, penny pinching and frugal cooking, unexpected bills, listening to ear-shattering screaming and living among these hyperactive ones, along with the endless household chores leave me feeling emotionally ragged and physically exhausted at the end of almost every day. 

I often wonder if I have what it takes to finish what we've started in parenting.

 

 

My life may look good online (cue Brad Paisley's hysterical song "Online" here), but it often feels like a train wreck to me.

 

The good news is that my God is big enough for this mess.

 

He doesn't need me to be a perfect Christian, a perfect mom, a perfect wife, housekeeper, or blogger.

In the weak things of this world, His strength is displayed more gloriously. 

He gets the credit, not me, because I can't do this without Him.

I don't need to pretend that I have it all together, because I don't.

None of us do.

But He does and He's the One I can go to for help.

 

So, when you read here, and share a peek at the pics of our life and consider my ramblings, keep in mind that the joyous things I share here are my efforts at digging for jewels in my difficult days. 

A way of being thankful in the midst of struggle. 

For every beautiful picture I put up of a kid with a cheesy smile, there could have also been one of a child screaming or frowning or disobeying. 

Behind all of this fun, there are flaws!

 

 

(The kids playing "Sleeping in a Camper" one day.  Of course it was probably only 5 minutes into the game that someone was kicking or screaming....or both!)

 

 



"That" Kid

 

 

Most of us have at least one kid who is "that" kid.  The kid who pushes your buttons...oh...every 5 seconds or so and seems to have an unearthly talent for embarrassing you and/or getting into scrapes or life-threatening situations.

 

Though Alathia was a very strong-willed and difficult toddler, she quickly matured and became Mama's big helper and a very obedient little girl.  Jer went through a stubborn phase as a pre-schooler but is back to being compliant and sensitive.  Now, in the wake of his siblings' budding maturity, Justus has taken it up on himself to make sure that Mama's job is exhausting, hard, incredibly frustrating....a challenge.

 

My dad calls Justus "Dennis."  While I don't like the idea of giving kids negative nicknames so that they become like that word/identity or have lifelong emotional scars, I have to say that the resemblance is uncanny between the two.  We recently watched some old Dennis the Menace movies and the little blonde guy in the movie is exactly like our Justus.  Justus is cheerful, positive, curious, cute, and very smart just like Dennis but without intending to get into trouble, it follows him everywhere like there is a magnetic force within his body that attracts it. 

 

 

For example:  We go to the ice-cream parlor as a family one hot summer evening.  Jer accidentally spills a little slush on Justus, and so he asks to be cleaned up.  Just when we get that mess cleaned up, Justus spills a huge amount of slushy all over the ice-cream parlor floor, causing the waitress to have to get out the broom and dustpan.  Poor gal!  Then he needs a wet wipe for the table and goes to get one from the lady at the counter.  But one isn't enough.  He needs more napkins for the drips all over him.  Then he comes back to his seat and realizes that when you bite styrofoam, it causes a hole!  Go figure!  His slushy is dripping out of the bottom of his cup.  Meaning...he has to bug the waitress YET AGAIN for a second cup to put on his leaking slushy.  Upon arriving home, he left the last remaining 1/5 of his slushy on the wooden cutting board, where even in a double cup, it leaked all over the counter and floor that night unbeknownst to us until the morning.

 

Sigh.  This is just an example of 20 minutes with Justus and his unintentional mischief.  Throw in deliberate disobedience, like his frequent hitting of his little sister, his refusing to come out of the closet for his Sunday School teacher, and his escaping from the pastor's wife during Children's Church and roaming through the church during the sermon for 200 people to observe and you have an immediate trip on the Humble Express.  And then there is his sticking the craft down his pants at library storytime and dancing around looking horribly inappropriate, his numerous brushes with death, his glass-shattering screaming, his endless bruises and scrapes in a day, and his swinging a belt around and causing a gushing wound on his brother's head, and you wonder if you will survive parenting him to adulthood.  When one is in charge of keeping him alive and out of trouble for 13 hours every day, all day, it leaves one a very worn-out Mama. 

 

 

I was so blessed by a paragraph in Kari Patterson's book "Plenty:  31 Sips of Joy for Moms Everywhere."  (I've really enjoyed her little book, which I got free on my Kindle.)  In Chapter 8, entitled, "When You're Struggling..." pastor's wife, author, speaker, and blogger Kari writes:

 

I felt like going to a therapy meeting and saying, "Hi, I'm Kari, and yes, my son is "that kid."  Why this Lord?  I'm busting my tail at parenting.  I read all the books, try all the methods, pray pray pray.  I study the Word, teach him Bible verses, I spend all day with him.  This is humiliating and I feel like everyone's an expert on this except me.....I don't want to be the mom of the bad kid!"

 

She goes on to talk about how God spoke to her through a children's Bible story about Naaman.  Naaman wanted healing, but was too proud to lower himself to dip into the dirty Jordan river.  Kari saw Naaman in herself.  She said, "How many times had I prayed, "God heal me of my pride.  God sanctify me.  God grant me humility.  God grant me a teachable spirit.  God help me connect with the real needs of women around me.  God help me grow in maturity and wisdom.  God reveal areas that are sinful that need your touch.  God heal me of my selfishness, heal me of my insecurity, heal me of myself."

 

He answered:  Go wash in the Jordan.

Go wash in the murky, stinky waters of a toddler's rebellion and embarrassing misbehavior.  Go wash in the murky waters of trial and error, charting unknown waters, trying new things that often don't work.  Go wash in the waters of humility, in the waters of asking others for help, in the waters of exhausting reptition and consistency.  Go wash in the waters of faith and not of sight.

 

"But Lord!  I'd rather wash in the crystal clean waters of Bible Study.  I'd like to grow in my sanctification by..hmm..how about blogging?......But these waters?  These are stinky, smelly, and humiliating."

 

Like Naaman, I finally surrendered to the stinky waters of struggle. 

When the word of criticism stings:  Go wash.

When you have "that kid:" Go wash. 

Whatever is stinky and smelly in your life may actually be the means of your salvation.

 

 

 

So, here I am, in the "Jordan" with Justy.  I know he's a special kid.  He has more charisma than anyone in our family.  He'll undoubtedly be the most popular as a teenager, and will likely be a leader amongst his peers and a dangerous man of God.  I can be thankful that he's continually bringing me to my knees...for there is no better place to be!

10 Survival Tips for the Homeschool Mom

 

 

Let's face it, homechooling is hard!  And wonderful too!  Just like parenting!


If you're in a place where you are feeling overwhelmed with homeschooling, I hope these tips will give you a shot of encouragement.  I don't claim to "have it all together."  There's still many a day you'll find me in pj's at noon, trying desperately to get a shower and screaming out the back door for the whole neighborhood to hear, telling the kids to stop putting their brother in the human slingshot they designed out of clothesline. =)


I share these things that have made our homeschooling lives smoother to bless you where you are today and help you find confidence.  You can do this!  God is with you and will uphold you in this journey if He has called you to homeschool.

 

(A super-sweet First Day of School gift from my dear friend Amanda)

1.  Realize homeschooling is like taking on a part-time or full-time job.  Even if you only do school for an hour or two a day, you have the responsibility of your child's education riding on your shoulders, lesson planning, gathering materials, organizing field trips, co-ops, etc.  If you are a stay-at-home mom and you begin homeschooling, it is just like taking on a job.  There are adjustments to be made and sacrifices that you'll have to make.  Don't be surprised if you are exhausted, sometimes overwhelmed, or often question if you have done the right thing.


A.  Don't be afraid to ask your husband for help.  You are a team.  If he works all day and you work all day educating the offspring then it's okay to admit you can't keep up with the household chores all by yourself.  My hubby works a physically draining job, but he still doesn't mind folding laundry with me now and then to help me catch up.  He's even been known to grab a mop and tackle the dining room floor.  And reading stories to the kids before bed is his specialty, giving me time to clean up the kitchen.  Fold laundry and watch a show together or read a book aloud together as you do dishes.  We've actually had fun working together to clean our house after the little ones are asleep.


B.  Buy lots of paper plates!  My really-green friends won't appreciate this one, but if you have a new baby, are pregnant, have a lot of kids, or are new at the homeschooling thing, give yourself a break and buy a bunch of paper plates so that you can have one less thing to do while you adjust to life as a Teacher Mom.


C.  Lower your expectations.  You will not be able to cook gourmet food every day and homeschool.  Sometimes take-out is necessary.  It's okay to buy Stouffer's lasagna and bagged salad instead of making your own.  You will not have a spotless home if you are schooling your own kids.  You can try and try and try (believe me....I have!) but it will not work!  The amount of time it takes to nurture kids and help them learn will negate any hope you have of being "caught up" on everything like your other mom friends who are not homeschooling.  You have to learn to be okay with messes because there will be lots of them!  Even if you are normally very disciplined about doing your housework you will often have to choose between starting school or doing dishes and laundry. 


D.  Don't be afraid to say no!  I repeat, LEARN TO SAY NO!!!  Write this on a sticky note and put it on the wall.  You will constantly be asked to take on more than you can possibly do.  People won't care that you have a lot of kids or that you homeschool.  They won't understand how busy you are or how many others have asked you for favors.  You must, must, must make it a habit to say no to things that God has not called you to do!  Practice in the mirror if you must! 

2.  Get organized.  Yes, there are those that thrive on being relaxed.  Delight-directed curriculums are very neat.  God has made us all differently and we all have unique gifts and personalities.  But if you are going to homeschool you need to work at being more organized, especially if it doesn't come naturally to you.  You have to get a handle on your clutter so you can find your Letter of Intent and you must teach your kids to throw away craft project scraps or else you will soon find yourself buried under a mountain of paper.  I've always been an organized person but I continually have to work at staying that way, training my kids to pick up, etc.  If you are unorganized, find an organized friend who can help motivate and teach you!


A.  Find a system that works for you to handle all your data/appointments/info, etc.  Some like Cozi, some like a simple piece of paper for jotting down notes.  This year I am trying The Well-Planned Day to keep our family's schedule organized.  Find a system you like and stick with it.  Make it the central info station in your home.


B. Learn to menu plan!   Make a meal chart for the entire month so the question of what to fix for dinner isn't a huge dilemma every night.  I list about 15 different meals (because we repeat our faves) on the fridge on a blank calendar so that 30 blanks are filled.  I pick which one of the 30 sounds good that morning so I know ahead of time what I'll be making later in the day.  Don't know where to start?  Here are some good places to visit:

Simple Mom's How to Menu Plan
Passionate Homemaking's Simplifying Grocery Shopping and the Benefits of Monthly Menu Planning
Money Saving Mom's Meal/Menu Planners



C.  Consider doing once-a-month shopping.  If this is too overwhelming for you or for your budget try shopping only once a week and then gradually switch it to twice a month.  Less shopping really does give you more time for homeschooling.


D.  Give bulk-cooking a try!    Bulk cooking is an amazing tool for the homeschooling mama!  Read my post here for some inspiration and recipe ideas.


E.  Set up a zone-cleaning plan for your housework.  It is overwhelming to save all of your cleaning for the weekend.  A couple of years ago God blessed us with a fixer-upper that is 3x the size of our former home.  Even if I work 15 hours without a break, I cannot get the entire house cleaned.  It's like trying to eat an elephant.....you just have to take it one bite at a time.  This is why the Fly Lady program is so amazing.  If you're not into the online reminders, divide your weekly chores onto index cards or write out a different room for the day to clean on your paper planner or laminated schedule.  Set a timer for 15 minute increments and do as much as you can during that time.  Your house won't stay spotless but each room will at least be worked on once each week.  Get the kids to help out with the "daily zone", as well as keeping their own things put away.


F.  Figure out a strategy for snacks.  I found myself getting soooo irritated with the kids this spring because it seemed that every time I turned around it was snack time again and kids were begging me to make them something.  My kids are always hungry.  Even though I had a menu plan for dinners, I didn't have one for snacks.  So, I was always at a loss of what to feed them when snack time came around.  I finally got organized and made a plan for this area and the stress over snacks completely disappeared.  At the beginning of the month I purchase about 10 boxes of dry snack foods and bag them up in baggies and put them in the snack box.  Every Saturday I get my Bountiful Basket full of fruits and veggies.  The kids are now in a routine of grabbing a fruit or veggie for morning snack at 10am and they know that at 3pm they can go to the snack box in the pantry and choose one baggie of dry snacks for themselves.

3.  Don't be afraid to find some help.  If you have a friend or relative that is willing to take your child/children for a while to give you a break, or a co-op where you can share teaching responsibilities, go for it!  I have a friend whose children are in public school and she loves preschoolers.  She has actually asked me if she can "borrow" my 4 year old a couple of mornings a week to do crafts and preschool lessons with him.  After the first ten times I asked, "Are you SURE????  Why on earth would anyone want to do that?" (Preschool-age is not my favorite!) I swallowed my I-won't-lean-on-anyone-for-help attitude and let her do it!  He's having so much fun, is getting individualized attention, and it frees me up to work with the other three.  She even picks him up when she drops her kids off at the public school across the street (Yes, I know I'm spoiled!  My friends are awesome, what can I say?)  When I was going through post-partum depression after my fourth baby a couple of years ago a generous friend who had been down that road paid for a nanny to come for 3 hours a week for 3 months to give me some time away from the kids.


A.  Hire a homeschooled teen girl to watch the kids one morning or afternoon a week.  Mother's helpers are a blessing and it's a chance for a young girl to practice skills she will need as a mother someday.


B.  See if a grandparent would be willing to have a "date" with your kid once a week for an hour to work on flashcards or handwriting, etc.  If you don't have family in the area, perhaps an elderly neighbor or friend from your church would enjoy doing this once in a while to give you a break, and you could offer them something in return.


C.  Offer to swap childcare with another homeschool mom weekly or monthly so your kids can play with their friends and you can get a little time alone to plan out the next week/month's lessons.


D.  Find a class or co-op your children can join.  One gal I know goes to the gym to work out and her kids get to attend a kid's class there.  Some ladies take turns teaching different classes in a homeschool co-op.  Our local library had free Reader's Theater classes this summer that were EXCELLENT! 

 

(A one-room cabin kitchen at the South Pass City museum)

4.  Regularly de-clutter the house.  I do this every few months and yet we still have toys everywhere and too many clothes.  After a crazy mouse went through our house two weeks ago and pooped on EVERYTHING, I realized how much more I could simplify.  In our simple, already-decluttered home, I managed to find an entire van load of stuff we could take to the thrift store.  And after doing 35+ loads of laundry to wash what the mouse had pooped on in every closet, in every room, I adopted my friend Amanda's system of only having 5-7 outfits per kid.  Now I'm forced to do laundry more often and I don't have 10 loads of clean laundry sitting on the laundry room table waiting to be folded.  Now all of the kids' clothing has to fit in a sealed rubber tub (lest we get another mouse in the house-yuck!) and has to be washed more often.  I do a BIG de-cluttering of junk before each new school year too.  This helps me feel better about my house before I begin the season of house-neglecting, AKA homeschooling.  The less you have, the less you have to take care of.  We all have stuff we don't need, taking up unnecessary space and causing us stress when someone else could put that stuff to use.  Get rid of it and save yourself the work of maintaining it!

5.  Establish a support network.  Whether it's online (love, love, love the My Father's World fb pages and all the collaboration that goes on there!), a local group, or just a close friend or neighbor who homeschools, find someone you can talk to, vent to, and pray with.  You're going to need it!  It's priceless to have people you can bounce ideas and questions off of ("Which Latin curriculum have you found to be easiest for young children?") and people to assure you that you aren't crazy for feeling the way you do after a long week of homeschooling.  I don't have a lot of homeschooling friends in my town, but the ones I do have are solid gold!  They are such an encouragement when I'm questioning why I've chosen this crazy, busy, challenging lifestyle!  Girl time is a must and should be a priority on your schedule.  It's a must for all moms, but I think it is especially important for the moms who never get a break from their kids.  So, make time for connecting with friends!

6.  Rest in God's grace for your imperfections and be humble.  Know you need His strength to do this each and every day.  It's easy to fall under the burden of belief that homeschooling families have to prove something to the world and to the naysayers or that they should be perfect.  This isn't true!  THERE ARE NO PERFECT FAMILIES.  No matter how perfect they look on the outside, they are still made up of sinners.  We all need the Gospel, not just once-in-a-lifetime, but every day.  It's also tempting for homeschooling families to be prideful.  Don't be quick to jump on a soapbox or judge those around you.  That curriculum you said you'd NEVER use?  You'll probably be using it in 3 years!  You think your kid is a genius?  The neighbor kid from up the street who goes to public school may come over and blow your kid away with how many math facts she knows.  Always talking smack about public schools?  Someday you may find yourself with a best friend who is a public school teacher or your child may need to go to public school for one of a variety of reasons. 

You will have days you will snap and yell at the kids.
The kids will fight...often.  The more kids you have, the more fights there will be. 
You will feel like the worst teacher in the world some days.
You will wonder if you have what it takes to keep going.
Some days you won't even like your kids.
You will be tempted to flag down the school bus going past your house.
You will be in a fierce spiritual battle for your kids (just like any Christian parent).

But take heart, friend, because God is with you in this!  You aren't alone and He wants you to trust Him in this walk of faith.

7.  Create a window of unavailability for yourself.  If you are a social butterfly, have a part-time job, or have a lot of ministry going on, you will need to carve time out of your schedule specifically for homeschooling.  Let your friends know you won't be answering the phone in the mornings (or whenever you do school).  Let online time (surfing, shopping, fb, twitter, e-mail, games, blogging, reading, etc.) be a reward for you at recess time or when the kids have finished their schoolwork for the day.  (Preaching to myself here--that's an area I need to work on!)


A.  Don't answer your phone or texts when you are in the middle of school.  We've even made an answering message that explains to people that school is in session and lets them know when we will be available.  If you help with a family business or need to be available for your husband that's fine, but try not to let your school time get eaten up by phone calls.  Caller ID is wonderful!


B.  Pare down your activities.  Before you begin homeschooling and during the summertime, it can be easy to fill your days with playdates, swimming lessons, library visits, nature walks, etc.  Once you commit to homeschool, you will have to let a lot of those things go or choose to do them after school is done.  Instead of continuing on with life as usual, you will need to keep "School Time" central to your day, or it won't happen at all.  Life, with all of its' urgent demands, will crowd out your schooling time in a hurry.

8.  Take care of yourself.  Every mom struggles to find time for herself, but when you homeschool it can be even harder because your day and your schedule revolves around their lessons/projects/needs, etc. 


A.  Make sure you are getting good nutrients.  My friend Nicci's vitamin smoothie is a daily must for me!  If you don't do smoothies, try these wonderful vitamins, available in a cheaper form here.



B.  Rise before the rest of the household.  My goal for this school year is to get up before the kids so that I have some quiet and some prayer time with God before tackling the busy day.  It's hard, but soooooo worth it.  Crystal is so motivating in this area!



C.  Always be reading a few good books.  Karen Andreola talks about this in her chapter on Mother Culture in her book A Charlotte Mason Companion.  Read things that stretch you, inspire you, delight you!  Model a love of learning for your children.  Don't get in a rut of only reading fiction or only reading personal growth books.  Read from a variety of genres.



D.  Have a daily quiet hour and enforce it.  Kids need boundaries.  When they are home all day with mom, it can be easy for them to fall into a "Mom is always at my every beck and call" mode.  They need to know that at certain times they are not allowed to seek Mom's help and attention.  We have FOB time in our home (taken from my days as a Camp Good News counselor--FOB stands for Flat On Bunk).  The kids can lay on their beds and look at books or sleep.  If they get off their beds or come upstairs they lose their afternoon snack;  something that is majorly important to my always-hungry kids.



E.  Plan for times of refreshment.  Take regular breaks.  Whether it's sneaking away to a coffee shop to think, pray, and plan on a Saturday morning, a daily jog around the block, or a yearly getaway with your husband, try to plan refreshment and rest into your week/month/year.  One of my goals for 2012 has to be to make Sunday more of a Sabbath in our home.



F.  Diet and exercise.  Of course we all know that we should be eating right and exercising regularly.  But how many of us can actually find the time to do so?  I've never enjoyed exercise, but I know my body needs it, so I find ways to be more active in my busy homeschooling schedule.  Instead of driving to a store or a friends' home, I will bike and pull the 2 or 3 little kids in the bike cart.  Nature walks are part of our curriculum and they get us all out into the fresh air.  Playing a game of tag with the kids, going for a hike, or swimming at the pool or lake are other things I enjoy.  Bountiful Baskets, a produce food co-op, has enabled us financially to eat much more produce. 

9.  Put together some activities to occupy little ones.  If you have babies or toddlers, it can be a challenge to keep them happy and out of trouble during school time.  Here is a great article on things to do with toddlers/preschoolers to keep them busy.  Here's a post I wrote a few years ago about our activity tubs.  A friend gave me a booster seat for the homeschool area and this has been the biggest help in keeping my own little tot, Katri, busy during our school time.  She loves to color and sit in her seat and "be a big girl."


A.  School while they sleep!  If you have a very demanding baby, try to do school during baby's naptime.



B.  Have a playpen in the living room where the baby/tot can safely play with toys while you do lessons with the kids.



C.  Fill a box with special toys that they can only play with during school time.  They can sit at your feet, or even on your lap, and play while you teach the big kids.



D.  Have one of the bigger kids take turns playing with the baby/toddler while you work with the other kids and then switch off.


E.  Wait until Daddy's home.  Do the more challenging subjects with your child early in the morning or in the evening when Daddy is home to hold the baby or occupy the tot.

10.  Abide in the Lord and seek His guidance regarding your priorities, schedule, and friendships.  This is the most important tip of all!  My friend Nicci is such a wise example of doing this.  You have to recognize you are just one person and you can't do everything people want you to do or be close to everyone in your life.  This is a tough one for me because God has brought a lot of young women into my life who need encouragement, friendship, and discipleship.  There are countless ministry opportunities available in my church and community.  I could try to grow my photography business if I wanted to.   Nicci always reminds me that just because I'm interested or have a talent or gifting in a certain area doesn't mean I am called to that ministry/vocation right now.  I am called to be a godly wife and mother, and frankly, that takes a LOT of my energy and time.  It's hard to know which friendships to pour into, which is why it needs to be a matter of much prayer.

Homeschooling is so rewarding in the end!  You can do it! 

May the Lord strengthen you and uplift you as you trust in Him for your children and your school year!

Taking Stock....

The trash cans are overflowing, the dirty dishes piled high, the laundry twin mountains of clothes to be washed and clothes to be folded.  It's always easy to give in to discouragement and exhaustion, allowing the mind to wander to what ifs or whys.  But, in the midst of the mess and the chaos, the endless work and relentless neediness, I am taking stock.  I flip through homeschool lesson books to remind myself of how much we actually have accomplished.  I scroll through blog posts about our weekly lessons and am reminded of the fun we had, the experiments we did, the field trips, and the learning.  I take a minute to just capture the beauty in these 4 precious souls I have been entrusted with.

And instead of thinking about what we haven't done, what they haven't yet learned, what chores I need to get to, I take stock of the blessings.

My big girl is so sweet and thoughtful!

Justus is getting much better about raising his hand when he wants to talk

instead of always interrupting.

I have a husband who delights in little children

and loves me unconditionally.

Big brothers sure are funny!

Justus is always saying the funniest things!  He has a big imagination!

He and his brother are convinced that they are going to ride rockets in Heaven and drive monster trucks down the golden streets.

The boys spoil Katrielle ROTTEN!  They shower her with love!

I can never get enough of Justus' sunny smiles

My tender sweetheart, with a heart as rich and sweet as his chocolate-colored eyes!

My baby girl is in no hurry to grow up.  She loves to be cuddled and held,

which this Mama enjoys!

Best friends

Reading together

Alathia helps me soooo much!

The little kids

A visitor to our church commented on my husband's smile, she thought it was so joyful.

Daddy is so funny, he makes my tongue curl!

Ali transformed the living room into "Ali's Jewlry Factry" one day and had little beaded bracelets and necklaces everywhere.  There was even a little money box and check-out stand and papers that read, "Thancs for shopen to day"

She sold lots of jewelry to Mom, Dad, Grammy, and her friends!

Heart leggings are so fun!  Love dolling my little girls up!

A Day in the Life of Mom

As I was doing laundry this afternoon I thought, "It's been a while since I did a "Day In My Life" post.  Why not do it today?"  So, here it is, in real time!

5:50am--I wake up and dress for my twice-weekly walk with my mom, who lives 4 blocks away.

6-6:45am-- I walk around the neighborhood with Mom and her dog Dai.

6:45am--We arrive back at my house and we go in to pray since we end our walks with prayer together.  The kids, who are all awake, clamoring around Daddy, join us and it's sweet to hear them pray.  I feed Kate a bottle while we pray (my milk has recently dried up completely).

7am--Josiah leaves for work.  I change the baby's diaper and put her down for her first nap of the morning and get breakfast cereal lined out for all of the kids.  I fix myself a bowl of Grape-nuts with banana slices.  Then I read 7 verses of the Bible to the kids as we eat and my daily "Jesus Calling" devotional to them.  I have to tell them several times to be quiet and to listen.

7:15am--I wash Justus up and tell the other kids, who wash themselves, to get dressed.  I clean up breakfast stuff and mediate a fight or two or three.

7:25-7:45am--Now I do morning sit-ups and exercises.  While doing them I dole out instructions and consequences to Alathia who is harrassing her brother. 

7:45am--I check e-mail and fb messages.  I e-mail my fitness partners who hold me accountable to good diet and exercise with my weekly goals.  Then I check www.moneysavingmom.com for some deals and get inspired by a neat alphabet mat project I see a link for.  But instead of sewing all of the letters onto a flat sheet I think I would paint them on to save time!  I mentally file away this idea as a project to make in August in preparation for our school year. I get interrupted, as usual, by a kid needing me to wipe him.

8:30am--I throw a load of laundry in the washer.  Whew!  I'm breathing a sigh of relief that swimming lessons are over as of last week.  The kids love them and they are super-important and they have learned to be excellent swimmers for their age but hauling 4 kids to the pool every morning at 9am for 3 weeks was quite the workout for me!  I ask Alathia to clean her room which looks like a paper and clothing bomb went off in there.  I get the baby who has woken up and go outside with the baby and the boys.  I draw the alphabet with sidewalk chalk and we play a hopscotch game on the letters and practice saying the letters several times. 

9:00am--Now I call my mom and ask her if she still has posterboard.  One of my projects for the week is to make a 5-Day Club sign for our club next week.  She does, so I say we will walk over. 

9:15am--I eat a homemade protein bar quickly before loading Katri and Justus into the wagon and helping Jer put his shoes and helmet on.  The two older kids ride their bikes and I pull the two little ones.  It's a very hot day, and muggier than usual due to a rain last night.  But pulling the wagon is much faster than letting Justus ride his tiny bike all the way there (ask me how I know......).

9:30-9:50am--We visit with my mom aka Grammy.  She gives the kids a popsicle and we pick out some posterboard.  Then we head home.

10:05am--We arrive home and I get the kids a snack of bananas and goldfish crackers.  I feed the baby another bottle.  I clean up the kids and the snack and wipe a kid's bottom when he uses the restroom.  I hold a screaming Katri who is having trouble going potty due to eating lots of cheese last night and coach her through the ordeal and then change the icky diaper and comfort her.  I lay her down for her second morning nap.

10:30am--Feeling pooped from the heat (we don't have A/C, and thankfully don't really need it most days because it's dry here and not humid) I let the boys watch a 30-minute Veggie Tale show (Ali is grounded from a movie today) and I sit down to catch up on a couple of my favorite blogs www.passionatehomemaking.com and www.homespunheart.com.  I'm trying to find a good brand of liquid trace minerals to buy and I know the first of these blogs is a good resource to look.  I spent some time on www.vitacost.com looking for natural bugspray, minerals, spirulina powder (to add to our yogurt smoothies), kelp powder, and bee pollen.  I save the items in my cart as payday isn't until Friday and spending my grocery money ahead is a great way to get into trouble and have no money left for food at the end of the week!

11:30am--I start tackling the 5-Day Club signs.  Ali is excited to help me.  Unfortunately, even though she has been instructed to glue the letters on a certain way, she gets mixed up and glues them on wrong so I have to un-do her work and re-glue them.  I lose my patience over the mistakes she has made. 

12pm--Josiah comes home for lunch so we stop in the middle of sign-making and pull out leftovers.  He heats up steak and potatoes that I grilled the other night and I make the kids quesadillas.  Then I start to warm up leftover spaghetti for myself.  But then I hear Kate.  So, I go and get Kate up and put her in her highchair and give her some chunks of cheese and some cheerios.  By then, the kids are all hollering for more food.  So, I butter bread and cut fruit and get drinks and it seems by the time I get down to the end of the line, one is done and wants more!  Ali eats thirds on bread, even after 2 small quesadillas!  Finally, I get a chance to sit down and I wolf down my food like a ravenous animal, knowing I only have minutes, if not seconds, until someone begs me for something!  Josiah reads from the Bible while we eat, something we have wanted to make a habit fof or a long time but are only just starting to do.

12:35pm--I clean up the lunch table, wishing I had time to do dishes as the sink is very full since I didn't do any dishes on Sunday, but I decide to leave the full sink for later and read stories to the kids.  They each choose a book for me to read and Ali reads a lengthy one to us herself.  I'm excited to see her progressing in her reading.  Justus is unusually crabby today even though he went to bed on time last night and I expect a fight in getting him to naptime.  I help him go potty, and wipe him.....again...and tell Jer to go potty.  I tuck the kids into naptime, and today, because she has such a negative attitude, even Ali is required to nap.  I hang a load of Josiah's work clothing on the drying rack to try to save electricity and throw another load of laundry in to wash.  I call the bank to order new checks only to be told to call back in an hour.  I find myself daydreaming about my upcoming vacation in 18 days!  I love my kiddoes but I cannot wait for a week of silence and relaxation when Josiah takes the 3 oldest kids to visit his family in MN and leaves Katri and I behind for 8 days.

1:15-1:45pm  Ahhh, I sit down to write this blog post, a nice breather in my day.  I'm interrupted twice by kids sneaking upstairs wanting to tell me something or get a drink.  I make the long trek back downstairs a couple of times to instruct them to be quiet, and lay down.

1:45pm-2:35pm  I haul a load of folded laundry upstairs and sort it into a box for my brother's new baby.  They have just arrived in America and are going to drive out west to see us in a week.  Their baby boy has very little clothing and I hit the jackpot at a neighbor's yardsale this weekend so I washed all the little clothing to get it ready for him.  I handwash some delicates and the kids' swimsuits and hang them up to dry.  I unload the dishwasher, irritated to see that many of the dishes are not clean and will need to be handwashed.  Every once in a while my soap door doesn't open and that means most of the load doesn't get clean.  I return downstairs to admonish the boys to stop sneaking into each other's rooms to wrestle and tell Ali to go to sleep.  For the 5th time of the day, I wipe a poopy bottom, wondering what is wrong with my kid that he has to go #2 so many times a day.  Someone from Bible Study calls and tells me that the location for study tonight has changed.  I call the bank again and get the checks ordered.  I sit down to the computer to write a quick note to a couple of family members and the doorbell rings.  It's one of my best friends, who lives a block away.  She is dropping off a grocery card for 5-Day Club meals next week and we chat for a few minutes and make plans to get together later this week.  I check on the kids again to find them all awake still and turn down Ali's requests to get up.  I load the dishwasher with dirty dishes and start it up.

2:35pm--  I call my other close friend and make plans to go on a hike with her and all of our kids tomorrow morning in the nearby canyon.  We chat for a while.

2:55pm--Jeremiah comes up the stairs and I realize he's not going to sleep today and tell him he can get up.  He plays with cars in the living room while I blog about my day and finally write those notes to my brother and cousin.

3:15pm-4:45pm--I finish up the 5-Day Club signs and allow Ali to get up from naptime.  I make yogurt smoothies with my homemade yogurt and some clearance organic oranges I found in the clearance produce box on my Saturday shopping trip.  I hear Katrielle and bring her up and she sits with us at the table and has some cut up nectarines, some pear baby food, and a bottle while I drink my smoothie.  The kids are still hungry after the smoothies so I root around the cupboards looking for something snacky.  They hear the music of the ice-cream truck and beg for an ice-cream treat.  All summer the truck has been driving around the neighborhood, reminding me of when I was a kid, but I never seem to have cash to buy a treat as it goes past.  Today I say yes, for the first time this summer and go racing to find change in the coin jar.  The kids run out and stop the truck and I come up with $1 so they can split an ice-cream sandwich!  They are soooooo thrilled and talk about the ice-cream truck all afternoon.  I am so amazed at how a simple ice-cream sandwich has lifted Ali's grumpy mood that I wonder if I should invest in tons of ice-cream sandwiches! 

After snack, I clean up, throw ingredients in the bread machine to make homemade pizza dough, take some frozen veggies out of the freezer for pizza toppings, and thaw a frozen coffee cake to take to our Bible Study tonight and then ask Jeremiah to come outside with Kate and take some pictures.  They look soooo much alike, particularly today, and I try to capture that on camera.  I love taking pictures! 

Then the kids head into the house to get into swimsuits to swim in the backyard inflatable pool.  I feed Kate and then put her on the couch with toys and throw in another load of laundry and listen to a phone message and try to return the call of someone who called when we were outside, but they aren't home anymore.  Justus wakes up and wants help with his swimsuit and wants a snack.  I help him and then go outside and re-inflate part of the pool that has deflated, due to a plug being missing.  The kids splash and play. 

4:45-5:30pm  Josiah arrives home and plays with little Katri.  He keeps an eye on the kids out the window as they play in the pool, mediating a few splash fights that get out of control.  I remember a praise report I wanted to share on fb and quickly write a status update.  Then, I pull the pizza dough out of the bread machine and start putting it on pans and getting pizza ingredients lined out.  I put the crusts in the oven to bake a bit before adding sauce and toppings and decide to jump in the shower.  Normally I shower in the mornings after breakfast when Katri is napping and the kids are busy with duplo blocks or something but today is REALLY hot and sweat is running down my back soaking my shirt.  I take a quick cool shower, which feels wonderful, and get dressed quickly and take the pizza crusts out.  I finish making dinner and the kids come in and change into dry clothing.  Josiah puts Katri down for an evening nap since we will be up late at Bible Study tonight.

5:30-6:00pm We have a nice family dinner of homemade pizza, garden salad, and applesauce and share some family jokes and some laughs.  We don't get a lot of thunderstorms in WY so the kids are excited because all through dinner we have torrential rain and thunder and lightning.  I have to jump up in the middle of dinner to get an umbrella for Ali so she can run outside and rescue her sidewalk chalk that was left out there.

6:00-6:40pm  I clean up after supper, unload the dishwasher and re-load with dirty dishes.  Josiah takes a shower and the little boys join him and everyone gets ready for Bible Study.  I quickly do my hair and make-up and get the baby up and dressed in pj's and we all jump in the car and drive to our friends' home which is a few miles out of town.

7:00-10:00pm  Family Bible Study usually begins with a hymn but since we are talking about the role of men in marriage and fathers in the home tonight we watch a music video together of "Lead Me" by Sanctus Real.  After the music video and a prayer time the kids head downstairs or outside and we listen to a Voddie Bauchum sermon together and then have discussion time and treats.  Kate is such a great baby, sitting and playing happily with her toys and smiling at the adults, even though she is normally in bed at 6 or 6:30pm every night. 

10:00pm--We get home and Daddy puts the kiddoes to bed.  Because we enjoy the teaching and fellowship of our Bible Study so much we have made the exception for allowing the kids to stay up late on Mondays but they normally go to bed at 7pm every other night.  I upload some photos I took and update this post.  Before bed at 11:00pm I will probably watch my favorite old sitcom, which is free to watch online and has a new 20 minute episode every day, and then read a little in bed before falling asleep.


I forgot to include in here helping Justus get dressed a few different times, changing diapers on Katri, comforting kids who got "ouchies" many, many times, and ignoring 3 calls from sales-people.  At the end of the day, I may have washed and dried a few loads of laundry but lots still needs to be folded and I have about 5 more loads to wash.  I may have ran two loads of dirty dishes in the dishwasher but it still needs unloaded and there are still many in the sink that didn't fit in the last load.  The kids have strewn toys and clothing about the house and I just don't have the energy to pick it up tonight.  So, at the end of the day, I sometimes wonder how I could be sooooo busy all day long and still feel like nothing got done!


I failed today.  I yelled at my kids, I was selfish and short-tempered, I didn't treat them with as much gentleness as I should have.  The whining, fighting, and constant interruptions grated on me.  I resented my husband for silly, small things.  I struggled with the self-sacrifice involved in serving my family.

And yet, I prayed today.  Earnestly and passionately.  I connected on a deep level with my 5 closest women friends.  I asked forgiveness of my kids when I blew it.  I hugged them, kissed them, and marveled at their tiny little faces and darling smiles.  I captured beauty in photos and wondered at God's creation.  I discussed hard topics with fellow believers and was encouraged and also encouraged others.  We laughed together as a family and Justus told me a few times that he loved me soooo much and Jer told me I was the nicest mom ever to let him get ice-cream from the ice-cream truck.  Ali had a rough day of being disobedient and a drama queen (declaring at one point that "this is the worst day of my life!!!" and yet recovered to being thankful, cheerful, and sweet and pointing out a beautiful rainbow in the sky.  I fell in love with my hubby all over again as I watched him read a tiny duckling book to Katri and saw his eyes dance with laughter over supper, heard him discussing God's Word with earnestness, and remembered the hard physical labor he does every day to provide for this family.

I often remember only the bad points and mistakes I made during the day, so this exercise of charting out my day has really made me reflect on the good things and the fun we shared.  The things that are most important to us, God, our marriage, our children, our friends, etc. were a priority in our day and though I often feel overwhelmed and overworked, I still saw glimpses of God's grace and can end the day with thankfulness for these many blessings He's given.

A typical day in our home.....a day in the life of a mom.