Where Have I Been?

My husband checked my blog last night and said, "You know Lindsey is a burnt-out mom when she hasn't blogged in 2 weeks!"

Indeed, I can't remember a time when I've gone so long without blogging in the last 4 years of having a blog.  I'm fighting a lot of depressed and overwhelmed feelings right now and trying to focus on my health and just making it through the day with all of these little ones to care for. 

Blogging is therapeutic to me and so I'm not giving up.  Just taking a little break!

So, check back sometime and see what we're up to!

A Faithful Servant

A woman doesn't easily forget someone who serves her in her darkest hour.  I just found out last night that one of the godliest ladies I know went home to be with the  Lord.  I rejoice for her because she will have many rewards in Heaven, but I am heavy-hearted for the loss that many, many people will feel at her passing.
Becky R. was more than our midwife, she was our friend and mentor and one of the most beautiful examples of Christ I have ever seen.



As we, a young, newlywed couple with no experience, prepared to deliver our first baby, she came to our home to do prenatal visits and spent hours with us, talking and answering questions, recommending books, and encouraging us to grow in the Lord through the process of pregnancy.  The morning before I went into labor I was very, very sick with a stomach virus and was terrified for my baby's health, and she reassured me over the phone and helped me get through the day.  When I knew I was in hard labor, she came from an hour and a half away on icy roads, on a MN winter night when the temps dipped to negative 20.  She stayed up the entire night with us, rubbing my back hard and coaching me through contractions that were only a couple of minutes apart.  Even though I was unable to have my last 3 babies with her because we had moved out west to my hometown, it was her voice in my head that I recalled when I was in labor with all of them because she knew exactly what to do and how to soothe a laboring woman with reassuring tones.  She not only lost a night of sleep for us, and for hundreds of other women, but she fasted and prayed throughout the duration of my labor.  She cleaned up the birthing pool and our home, left us homemade wild rice soup she had brought, took photos for us when we were too wiped out to think about it, made a photo CD for us so we could share it with my folks via e-mail across the miles the day of our daughter's birth, and came back the next day to check on Ali and I even though she had a long drive and had lost a night of sleep. 



She "caught" 555 babies in her day.  She believed it was a ministry and accepted donations but didn't charge for her services.  In addition to being an amazing midwife, she lived out covenant marital love like I have never seen before.  She stayed true to her vows even though it meant a lifetime of sacrifice for her.  Such love is unheard of in our world today and reminds me of the covenant-keeping, never-stopping love of Jesus for his bride, the Church. 



Reading her obituary online, it's evident to me that Becky was a Titus 2 and Proverbs 31 woman, through-and-through.  She was industrious, helped those in need, served Christian families, was a pioneer in the homeschool movement in her area, used her gifts for the Lord, trained the younger women, cared for her family well, shared the Gospel, and aided many families in having large families frugally and naturally.  Few women today have her strength and courage.  I'm honored to have had her there with me during some of my most frightening and painful and wonderful and joyous hours as Alathia Joy entered the world.  I can't wait to see her in Heaven.  I wish, probably along with her daughters, grandchildren, and church family that she had lived longer than 62 years, but I know she is exactly where she wants to be right now.



We'll miss you Becky and we'll share your story with the little girl you helped us bring into the world!  Your life was amazing, Spirit-filled, and worthy of imitation.

Hard Eucharisteo

I'm reading the new book that my favorite blogger just released: One Thousand Gifts.

I can't recommend it enough.  Next to the Bible it is definitely one of the top 5 life-changing books I have ever read.  Every chapter captivates and teaches.  There is so much to unpack that I could read this book every year for the rest of my life and still learn from it.  Even if you don't have a lot of money, I'd encourage you to eat some Ramen and  rice and beans a couple of extra times this week and use your grocery money to buy it.  You won't regret it.  Hundreds of women around the world are reading it right now and finding their lives transformed by it.



In the book, Ann talks about "hard eucharisteo."  Eucharisteo is thanksgiving.  As we learn to see God in everything, we give thanks.  But what about the hard eucharisteo?  Giving thanks in trials, big and small?


Sometimes I think I don't have a right to think my life is hard.  After all, some folks have far greater trials looming.  A child with cancer.  A baby who died of SIDS.  A shattered marriage and life.  Poverty in the third world.  An adult child's rejection of God.  Memories of horrific abuse.  The pain of infertility.  A frightening diagnosis.


But as my cousin reminded me, the fact that other people have harder problems doesn't negate the fact that I hurt and struggle.  My life may not be as hard as it possibly can be, but that doesn't mean I don't cry out for grace in the moments that stretch me and fill me with frustration.


The past year has been unbelievably hard for me.  Wondering where we would live, going through 4 months of constant nausea, losing my Grandma, seeing our town flood, buying our first home and fixing it up and the endless work and lack of family time involved in that, moving while caring for 3 children and carrying a baby, having placenta previa, going through chicken pox, 3 stomach flus, my longest labor yet, a newborn, and the busy holidays, having tons of company, and dealing with the continual exhaustion of having many small children.


The past two months have been especially hard.  Just when I think that next week will be easier and soon I will be able to breathe again, we get hit again.  And again.  And again.  And again.  A newborn baby's demands, sickness, holiday events, in-laws coming, Christmas activity, sorrow over friends with dying marriages, excruciating neck pain, the false accusation of a loved one, fueding in the church, working through disappointments and disagreements in our marriage, watching my parents' struggle to help keep her job and ministry (the Christian school) alive as some would seek to close it, misunderstandings, job insecurities, weeks of multiple night-wakings with baby, fighting amongst believers, a car accident where my husband wrecked the front of my mom's car (every Son-in-Law's nightmare, right?),  illness and a trip to the ER with our baby.


As I've been reading about hard eucharisteo I'm struggling to put it into practice.  It's easy to fill my list and count my blessings when the sun is shining and there is a chocolate dessert in front of me, but what about when I've begged God in desperation for sleep only to hear garbled wails for the tenth time in a few hours?  What about in the little annoyances that make you want to scream, like getting poop all over your hand as you change a toddler's diaper when you are a germ fanatic, and finding out your daughter stole a bunch of computer paper only to spill a whole bottle of Elmer's glue all over it and waste it all and create a huge mess?  What about when four kids are crying, a friend writes a nasty facebook status about you for no good reason, and the fighting seems to never stop and sleep seems like it will never come and you have too much to do, and the house feels like a disaster zone when you've spent hours trying to make it clean day after day after day?

It's in the slowing down to try to see, it's in the humbling of myself and the opening of my hand to receive His grace when I begin to see eucharisteo in the hard places.  He's working.  He's teaching me.  He's showing me His love.

Thankful for:

Medical treatment for my baby.
A baby who's living and breathing.
Wet wipes and soap to clean the filth.
A stronger bond than ever before when we've worked it through.
A gracious Mom.
A Dave Ramsey-inspired emergency fund to cover the repairs.
A child's creativity.
A husband's un-asked-for neck massages.
Healing from neck pain, even without a chiropractic visit.
Dad, whose compliments were rare growing up, calling me brilliant in front of tons of people.
A friends' apology.
Building character from the bricks of criticism.
A renewed belief in the sacredness of marriage.
Knowing I need God's grace to make it through the day.
A greater desire to meet with Him each morning.
New starts in relationships that have been strained.
The miracle of making it through a weekend on just a few hours of sleep.
The opportunity to train my children in godliness.
Needing to step out in faith.
Seeing God provide.
Learning to trust.
Empathy for friends going through trials.
Vitamins, coffee, hot chocolate and orange juice for the extra energy they give on a lagging day.
Chubby baby thighs, cheeks, and elbows.
Baby's wildly kicking her doctor in exuberance.
Dear friends asking if they can come stay with us when they visit.
A belated baby gift: dinner from Dominos!
Seeing her become a Daddy's girl.
The last moments I'll have to nurse a 3 month old.
A tiny girl sucking her thumb and grabbing her nose with the other fingers.
Hearing her little voice try to coo in spite of her rasping, mucus-lined throat.
The warm, hours-long hug of a strong husband when you are spent and just need someone to hold you through the night.
Having a home to share with traveling missionaries.
The kind words of  a sweet mother-in-law.
An answering machine message from our little girl who called from AWANA on my friends' cell phone to tell me she lost her first tooth.
The days ticking down until we see our tiny nephew's new face.  (He's due in April and even if he lives half-way across the world we can't wait to see pics!)
Knowing He has been and will continue to be with us through it all.

Appreciating the Grass You Have

The other day some friends and I were chatting about husbands and gifts.  It seems that a lot of husbands out there like to lavish humongous gifts upon their wives.  Huge bouquets of roses, fancy exercise equipment, large, elaborate homes, new vehicles, electronic gadgets, exotic vacations, diamond jewelry, dates at nice restaurants, etc.

Being that gifts are one of my love languages (with chocolate being my main love language *teehee*), a part of me sighed and thought inside, "That would be so nice!  If my husband was into giving me gifts like that I'd already have my nice camera that I've been working so hard for and saving for months to buy."

I also felt myself wondering.

Is my worth found in the number or cost of gifts given?

Of course my head knows the correct answer. 

No.

But sometimes in our culture of idolatry, where celebrities are exalted and money is treasured above all else by so many around us, it can be easy to think so.

Where many friends spent thousands on engagement rings, mine cost $130.

Where some gals got to go to exotic restaurants for their first date, our first date ever, as in my first date with my first ever boyfriend, who is now my husband, was at Burger King.

Does this mean I'm not worth more than that?

The conversation went on, and I told them that my husband was the kind of guy who will only pay cash for what he buys me.

Surprisingly, everyone began saying,

"I wish my husband was like that!"

  "I wish we were debt free!"

  "I wish I didn't have to get the huge credit card bill at the end of the month

after my hubby has splurged on me."

So, it would seem that everything is a trade-off.

You may have a husband who likes to go all out and treat you like a princess.

But you'll feel the pinch financially.

You may have a husband who doesn't splurge at all. 

But you'll feel secure in knowing there's money to pay the bills.

What if the way my husband shows me love is in being careful with our money so that I can stay home and not have to worry how we're going to pay the bills?  What if the way he shows me love is in seeing that our needs are taken care of first and saving for emergencies? 

What if the sacrifices that seem small to the world are huge to him, when he grew up eating out at McDonalds about once a year?

I'm thankful for the ways my frugal hubby shows me love. 

He may have only spent $6 on me for Valentine's day but he picked out a snack and movie rental that I would like, gave me a little box of conversation hearts and a lovely handmade Valentine with sweet little somethings written on it.  He often gives me shoulder rubs and neck massages and helps put the kids to bed.  And because he is so tight with money and careful, we have food to eat, a roof over our heads, heat in the winter, life insurance, water, health coverage, and money to share with those in need.  This is far more than most people in the world have and I don't deserve a bit of it, or the love he shows me each and every day.

And as I've been saving for a nice camera, he's been doing hours and hours of research for me, even though he isn't into photography, because he wants me to get the best possible deal. I was going to go with the cheapest model but he's convinced I need to get the best deal for the money and spend a little more to get twice the camera. He's planning to give me some tax refund money to help out my own savings and he wants to buy me a nicer lens than I would have gotten for myself.

The world tempts me to believe that worth is found in material expressions of love or amount or cost of posessions.  But I have a husband who doesn't "buy" that.  He shows me old-fashioned, honest, sacrificial love.

I'm blessed!

The grass may look greener on the other side, but I know that it's not.  I have the yard that is just right for me and I'm thankful for it!

6 Years Ago....

6 Years Ago today, on a cold winter morning in MN....

A chubby little girl was born....

....and made a mommy and a daddy of two young folks.

We love our little "Cowgirl" so much!  Happy Birthday Alathia Joy!

She really wanted a Bullseye toy for her birthday so her Jessie from Christmas could ride.  Even though it's the world's hardest-to-find toy, we got her one!

Our tradition is to decorate the table with gifts and themed decorations so that when the child comes up for breakfast they get a "running to see what's under the Christmas tree" kind of feeling.  Then we let them open one gift each time we have a meal or snack so they enjoy their presents all day long. 

The birthday child gets to choose the menu for the day.

Ali picked Lemon Poppyseed muffins for breakfast,

Ramen noodles (uhhg--oh so healthy, right?) for lunch, and macaroni and cheese, rolls and butter, Jell-O, and veggies for supper.

A red hat from the Dollar Store and an iron-on-transfer purchased for $5 online make for a frugal but cute birthday outfit.

Ali remembered me saying that on my 6th or 7th birthday my mom made me a sewing kit, which I and the neighborhood kids used to make tons of little pillows and doll clothing.  So, she wanted one too!  Grammy made her one for her gift.

Auntie Kianna, Josiah's sister, gave her two beautiful dresses, which she needed, as well as some hair clips and make-up.  She was so proud of her painted nails!

A hand-made little apron from Auntie Kandina, Josiah's other sis.  It matches her cowgirl hat!

Got Ali's cake image here, online, so that making her a cake that would delight her was super simple and easy for me and only cost 1/3 of the price that it would have cost to order a store cake.

I got a package of 28 Toy Story Christmas cards on after-Christmas clearance for 59 cents.  I used the Jessie and Woody ones to make a birthday garland to hang in the dining room and saved the Buzz ones for Jer since he is saying he wants a Buzz-themed birthday in November.

Love

Life is hard.

Love is hard.

In nearly 8 years of marriage we have weathered so much.

Disagreements.

Disappointments.

Disillusionment.

Job upheavals and uncertainties.

Financial difficulties.

Family problems.

Church issues.

4 minor car accidents

 (7 if you count the times people hit our parked cars)

65 hours of labor.

14 months of all-day nausea.

6 moves.

Several deaths in the family.

Screaming toddlers.

Fighting kids.

Tragedies among our friends and loved ones.

Friends moving away.

Splintered friendships.

3.5 years of lost sleep (with more months of this to come)

Illnesses.

Injury.

Surgeries.

Angry words.

Exhaustion and Stress.

And yet....

We've seen so many good times too.

First looks at four little faces.

First giggles and steps.

Parenting together.

Praying together.

Laughter, fun, and sunshine.

Fireworks.

Delight.

Passion.

Supporting hugs.

Meals with great friends.

Mommy's little helpers.

Daddy's girls.

Little boy kisses.

Vacations and camping.

A child's prayer for salvation.

Massaging out the fatigue.

Singing, dancing, little children.

Making up.

Hope.

Coming together.

Dreams coming true.

God's provision.

Forgiveness.

Good health.

The love of family.

More than enough.

Reconciliation.

Church growth.

Loved ones finding new life in Christ.

God's strength when we have none of our own left.

New neighbors.

New friends and old friends.

First home.

Healing.

Being best friends.

A comfortable love.

This Valentine's Day I'm remembering.   I'm weighing out our days together and I am thankful.

There is no one else I'd rather be doing this life with.

Finding Margin

This photo doesn't really have anything to do with my topic but I love it.  Josiah has read his Bible before work almost every single morning since we've been married.  It is my suspicion that his devotion to God is the reason he is such an amazingly wonderful husband.

You know how you have to learn some lessons over...and over....and over again?  I wish I could just "get it" the first time, but I don't.  Finding margin in my life is one of those things that I have to keep re-learning.  And according to older, wiser women I admire, it's something we have to continue to learn throughout our lives.

The other day I went to bed crying and screaming inside, "I hate my life!"  Now, a major contributing factor to my discouragement was that my neck was severely out of place and had been giving me excruciating pain for a week.  I should have just gone to the chiropractor but I absolutely hate to because it costs money and we don't have an abundance of that just lying around. 

So, my neck was hurting and I was majorly stressed.  Too much on my plate, too little sleep from a baby who has been waking up several times a night with a minor cold (after a month of sleeping-through-the-night), unbearable pain, and overwhelming chores.  As I stopped to consider why I was feeling this way, I realized, again, that it is mostly my own fault.  I was falling back into that same old trap that gets me every time. 

You know the one. 

You've probably been there too.

Someone at church asks for a little favor.

You feel like, Sure, I can do that little thing to benefit my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ.  Especially since my kids are in the children's programs.

Your parents ask for a few little favors.

We need to honor our parents and help them where we can.  Besides, it's just something small.

A friend asks for a favor.

She's desperate.  My life is about a million times easier than hers right now.  How can I turn her down?  She has no one else.

Someone offers you a money-making opportunity.

Hmmm, I really wouldn't mind some extra cash.  Especially since I'm saving for my first DSLR camera.

Look at these people that need ministered to.  I have so much I can offer them.  I need to make time to reach out.

And the favors, tasks, invitations, opportunities, and duties pile up and pile up until I feel utterly crushed underneath them.  Of course I can do these little things.  They are small, they are fairly simple.  But I cannot do them all simultaneously, and that's where I go wrong.

I continually underestimate how difficult it is to be a mother of four.

I continually over-estimate how much I can get done, because I am a firstborn, was raised to be fiercely independent and have always had to be "the strong one."

I fall prey to the deception of comparison and start telling myself, "Well, goodness, of course I can do that because I have 'all the time in the world' like people seem to think.  So-and-so did this and 10 more things.  My friend so-and-so works full-time and keeps a tidy home, bakes bread from scratch, and stays fit-as-a-fiddle and must think I'm the laziest thing ever.  So-and-so has 4 kids and gets twice as much done as I do, I need to be more like her."

What brings me back to reality?

Knowing that I'm not super-woman and I don't have to try to be super-woman.

Knowing that God wants me to serve Him, my husband, and my kids first.

Thinking about my personal goals and how each activity that I take on meets those

 (some people call these priorities, others call them a Family Mission Statement, etc.)

Reminding myself it is okay to say "no" and saying it.

Remembering that being an "abiding Mom" is more important than being a "doing Mom."

Realizing that my challenges are different than other womens' and thus I need to stop comparing.  Many friends don't homeschool or have half as many children, or have kids in preschool, or get help from the grandparents.  My kids are still very little, very needy, and I have lots of them!

---------

After I take a breather, preach to myself, and realize the world isn't going to fall apart if I don't run myself ragged and work until I can't even walk by the end of the night, then I start jotting down practical ideas for making my life easier.

---------

As much as I would have loved the extra money, I turned down 2 offers for extra cleaning jobs this week.  I love my 2-hour a week cleaning job but I don't need more on top of that, even if it does pay $15 an hour.

I'm going to stick with babysitting my friend's daughter, who is a very good girl and easy to babysit, one time a week instead of taking on an extra day and doing two.

I'm going to continue watching the 3 children of a friend who is in crisis but it's only an hour a week and should only be for another 10 weeks.

I'm eliminating any and all clutter from the house and paring down toys and clothes dramatically so it's easier to stay on top of the household chores.

I'm considering Once-a-Month shopping to save time and energy.

I've stopped asking tons of company over for meals until life slows down a bit more.  I love having folks over for meals, but find it immensely difficult to do with a breastfeeding baby, so I'm going to be very cautious about whom I invite and it won't be frequently.

I'm serving very simple, stand-by meals like tacos, pizza, spaghetti, and sandwiches.

I'm continuing to make school a priority--even though this means I sometimes feel out-of-the-loop with friends who hang out more, socialize more, and go to more events, while we stay home to get schoolwork done.

I'm not throwing birthday parties for friends and am letting others "step-up" to plan baby showers for friends instead of heading them up.  I've had 3 close-calls in February alone and it's very hard not to do birthday stuff when you know the person would be totally blessed by it.....but I am getting better in this area.

I'm making Date Nights and time with my hubby each day my top priority after time with God and memorizing Colossians.  Seeing a few couples' marriages implode in devastation has caused us to cling tighter to our vows, and I am really motivated to plan some fun, creative times with my incredible husband.

I'm seeking to adopt Crystal's phrase "Commit to Undercommit" this year as a way of reminding myself to carve out margin in a life that can get wound too tight very quickly.  My brother tells me all about the relationship-oriented lifestyle that people have in other countries and I want to live like that here, amongst the over-scheduled and frazzled, work-a-holic Americans. 

What are some ways that you are trying to find margin in your life? 

Recent Pics

 Ballerina Sisters

 A Swimming Cowboy Frosty?

 Katrielle and Marius--Little friends only 5 days apart!

 Wearing a dress that Ali wore at 6 months old, at 3 months old!

 Dressed up in her cook's dress-ups to make a double batch of oatmeal cookies

The gift of a hubby who's still in love...just because...

Morning devotions and a Wyoming sunrise while the household still sleeps

Little brothers who sometimes climb into each other's beds at night

She's not the center of attention AT ALL!

Modeling a Bible times costume for a school project

Warm 40-degree-that-feel-like-50-degree days in January

 Celebrating Grammy's birthday

 Got lost one day on the way to a friend's out-of-town home but it was a nice photo op!

To say she likes to color would be a gross understatement!  She colors for a few hours every day.  One day she was down in her room for 2 hours and came up with this big project she had made with glue.

Thank You for Comments

I've gotten really bad about responding to blog comments.  But I do appreciate them and thoughtfully read them.  I'm sorry for those of you going through heartpains with divorce and thankful for those of you who shared Date-Night ideas and cheering you on if you have little children and identify with this mommy's hard days.  I don't want to close off comments on this blog so that you do feel free to share and add your thoughts to my posts and I appreciate those thoughts.  But do understand I may never respond.  Oftentimes, I mean to and forget.  My brain gets mushier and mushier with each baby that I have.  If you have a burning question to ask me, you will likely have to ask 2 or 3 times before I remember to answer it.  Just a heads up!
Thanks for reading here!

On Motherhood

Some days being a mommy to little ones is fun.  Some days it's not.  Some days I feel like I have everything under control.  Many days I feel tossed about on waves of endless chores and demands, with very little control, if any.

Some days I feel like I get amazing amounts of chores and tasks accomplished.  Other days it feels like I'm walking with concrete shoes and can barely get a single thing done.

But life goes on!  And I remind myself that this is a season.

I love babies and have always been the type who begs to hold them wherever I go.

I love making baby gifts and taking pics of babies, cuddling babies, and having babies that are all my own.

But this go-around with a fourth baby has truly left me so wiped out that the other day I exclaimed to my husband, "I'm sooooooo over babies!  I cannot wait until Katri turns two!"

I finally understand one of my best friends' who doesn't like the baby stage.  Perhaps it's the fact that all of my children are small and needy or that our fourth is our most demanding baby or that I've just changed enough diapers and lost enough sleep in the last 6 years to bring me to an awakening.  But as much as I enjoy tiny toes, chubby thighs, darling smiles, baby cuddles, teensy giggles, pink dresses, and the wonder of gazing at my tiny beauty and cooing at her, I sigh with relief, knowing this stage will fly by and there will come a day when life is easier.

Life is never easy.  There will always be trials.  There will be other issues, like whining, fighting, sassing, and learning to obey.  There will always be endless amounts of work to be done to maintain life and home and house and school.  There will be concerns over choices they are making as they become independent, and their safety when they aren't with me.

But life will be easier in many ways.

I have a dream that one day all of my children will be able to use the restroom and clean themselves.

I have a dream that one day they will begin to clean up after themselves more than they make a mess. 

I have a dream that they will sleep soundly all night long, never waking me and will complain when I finally must wake them up in the morning, after I've enjoyed an hour of quiet time and a cup of coffee.

When they don't need to be lugged around in a huge carseat.

When I can enjoy a Ladies Night Out without bringing a nursing baby along.

When they get their own breakfast.

When they prepare lunch.

When they do the laundry and mow the grass.

When they don't cry, whine, or scream hysterically when they don't get their way.

When they won't fall down and get cuts and bruises continually, daily.

Ahhh......the thought!

I don't want to rush this stage because I adore when my little blonde 2-year old begs to be held and hear his favorite stories, or when my 4-year old boy talks with a lisp and shows me the airplane he made, or when my almost-6-year-old sounds out the letters of a word in her easy-reader book.  I love their energy, exuberance, and the way they delight over simple pleasures.  I love watching them learn and grow and I don't want to rush this stage.

But life will be easier someday soon.

And when they day comes I will stretch out my hand to a weary young mom and ask her to drop her kids off for an afternoon.

Soap.Com

I am thrilled to have discovered soap.com 

There was a day when I enjoyed shopping and finding all the deals.  That day has died!  If you've ever dragged 4 small children through Walmart by yourself on a marathon shopping trip, keeping in mind that Walmart is 30 miles away from our home, you will understand why.

The other day Crystal from MoneySavingMom mentioned a deal where you can get $10 off an order at soap.com if you have ordered from diapers.com before.  $10 off sounded like a great deal to me, especially since there was no minimum order.  I had ordered some Robeez for Katri for $10 with a free shipping deal at diapers.com a month before Christmas so, I figured I'd get $10 worth of product and end up only paying $5 of shipping which is a great deal.  However, I began noticing that their prices are really good on many things that I normally buy.  I noticed that if you buy $25 worth of products, 2-day shipping is free.  I noticed that Tom's of Maine deodorant, which my husband loves, is only $4.50 instead of $7.50 (what it costs in our town).  Their Kleenex, bath products, laundry soap products like Borax, etc. are all at comparable or cheaper prices than what I normally buy.  They also accept manufacter's coupons, which you can mail in to be applied to your account.  And so I've decided that from now on, I will be making a monthly order from soap.com.  I can easily spend $25 on toilet paper, laundry soap, Aveeno lotion, vitamins, kleenex, medicine etc. in a month so I will be getting it through this site and will save myself the work of choosing it in the store, and hauling it home.  This will simplify my weekly grocery store trips.  I also get $10 referral credit if friends buy something from soap.com using my code.  My friends save 15% for using my code, so it's a win-win situation.


If you live in a city, you may be able to find better deals than what soap.com has to offer.  But if you live in Wyoming, you will love this online ordering thing and it can save you gas money, not to mention several hours spent traveling to the nearest Walmart.  Diapers.com often has some good deals or coupon codes too that beat the local prices on diapers too.

So, check out the site!
If you end up ordering from them, please use my coupon code and save yourself 15%.

The code is HEYA1384

If you've ordered from diapers.com before but have never ordered from soap.com you can use the code 10BUCKSFREE to get $10 off your order.  You can get free shipping by ordering $25 before promo code and then it will take $10 off so you will only pay $15 out of pocket for $25 worth of stuff at regular prices.

Many of you friends and readers of my blog have lots of little children and/or are pregnant, homebound, extremely busy, or live in very cold places where it would make sense to buy stuff from soap.com



Date Night

I like to dance.  Be it country swing, line dancing, waltzing, or whatever, I enjoy it.  That's not to say I'm any good or that I know what I'm doing.  But that doesn't stop me.

Upon getting married, I was excited to finally have a dance partner.  After years of choosing not to date around and not going to High School dances, etc. I thought this was my chance!  But alas, my husband does not like to dance!  I did get him to attend a homeschool ball in MT with my relatives once when Ali was a baby and I can usually get him to do one dance with me at a wedding, but he is very stubborn about the subject.  I usually end up dancing with my dad or one of my kids.

So, I was delighted to discover this weekend that although he absolutely will not dance with me in public, Josiah will dance at home!  After beating me at Yahtzee, he let me choose how I wanted to be served (thanks to my poor-loser attitude and the fact that he wins most board games we play we came up with the rule a decade ago that whoever wins has to serve the loser in some way, like doing a chore for them, giving them a massage, etc.) 

I chose dancing around the living room to Sinatra.  We pulled the blinds lest the neighbors be out on a cold, winter night peeping through the windows, turned the lights down low, put on an internet radio channel for Sinatra and Louis Armstrong and had a blast!  And because we live with 4 little people, make that 4 MESSY, little people, we danced upon Duplo blocks and little socks, and tried not to trip over toys and dress-ups strewn about. 

We've always had a Friday night "date night in" to watch movies together but this year one of my goals is to spice up Date Night a little bit.  To get out of the rut of just watching movies together, although we enjoy a good movie.  If anyone has any bright ideas, please share them with me!  Watching a good friend's marriage fall apart has made me realize how blessed I am and how much I don't want to take my marriage for granted.

My Goals for 2011

Looking over last year's goals, it's great to see how far the kids have come in just a year.  Jeremiah is whining/crying soooo much less and they are all so much more independent.  Many of my goals didn't come to fruition because of our unexpected baby and unexpected move and purchase of a home.  Five of the six trips I wanted to take didn't happen.  The hardest goals to press on with were my spiritual goals and marriage goals, proving that there is a definite spiritual battle going on over those areas of life.  I had many good books listed to read but didn't get to most of them with how busy our year was.  One of my goals was to step back from planning so many parties/showers last year but due to the fact that I know 54 people who had babies in 2010, I ended up throwing 4 baby showers and attending an additional 5!  I threw 17 birthday parties and had over 150 different guests over for meals!  So, my goal of stepping back was a flop!  But despite the fact that many of my goals were not accomplished, I'm still glad I set them.  Goals give us something to reach for and measure our progress by.

I'm trying to keep my goals pretty simple this year. 

Spiritual

Grow closer to God through prayer (praying before children awake)

Memorize the book of Colossians along with Ann from Holy Experience

Establish "True Bread" as a tradition in our home, which is what I call the practice of reading Scripture at each meal.  We did it some in 2010 but not enough. 

Encourage teen girls' in their faith--whether through a monthly prayer meeting, another modesty night, or just visiting more with them at church.

Host a sewing day to make things for women in Zimbabwe.

Continue helping my friend Amanda do a weekly Pray & Play group for moms.

Motto for me spiritually this year:  "Only speak words that make souls stronger." (from Ann Voskamp)


Physically
Go to bed at 11pm except for one "free" night each week
Lose 20 pounds of baby weight by continuing to "weigh-in" with a few of my friends via e-mail each week.


Financially
Use cash for grocery budget as much as possible and stay within budget
Save up to buy a DSLR camera (either a Canon Rebel T1i or Nikon D3100)
Use any bonus cash or tax refund to pay down our mortgage faster

Job
Work through the rest of My Father's World 1st Grade Curriculum with Ali
Teach Jeremiah his letters
Continue cleaning job (2 hours a week at a local law firm)
Read everything I can about photography
Learn to use photoshop
Learn to use my new DSLR
Put together a portfolio

Relationships
Continue our longstanding tradition of Friday night date-nights but find more creative ideas rather than just the usual movie

As much as I hate not doing something for friends to celebrate them, I'm going to try really hard to NOT plan a gazillion parties/showers this year.  Hospitality is my gift but with 4 small children, including a nursing baby, I need to step back.  So, I will give cards and small gifts to friends on their birthdays, or attend parties others are hosting but will not feel personally obligated to make a cake and do a "get-together" for friends' birthdays.  I expect to throw parties for my kids, hubby, and parents, and possibly a baby shower for one friend and my sis-in-law.

Trips
I hope we can do 2 weekend camping trips this year and possibly 1 other family vacation, like a trip to Rapid City, SD with Josiah's family

Homemaking
Start back up with the bulk cooking once a month that was such a blessing last year!  I haven't done it for 4 months because of baby and am missing it!

Shop less.  I once enjoyed grocery shopping but the more kids I have, the more tiresome it gets.  I'd love to be able to shop once a month but need to work up to that.  I currently shop once a week.  I hope by the end of the year I am shopping 1-2 times per month (not counting quick milk/produce runs to the store).

Plant my first garden now that we have a home of our own!

Plant grass.

Have Josiah paint the garage and fix the fencing around our yard this summer.

Kids
Train the children to do more household chores as part of their daily routine:
Justus-make his bed, clean up toys faster
Jeremiah-set the table, cook, clean faster, load laundry to laundry room, help bring groceries in
Alathia-help with dishes, cook, clean bathrooms, switch laundry, fold laundry
Breastfeed Katrielle until a year
Katrielle is already sleeping through the night so I don't have to make that a goal--HALLELUJAH!!!!
Justus-potty training this summer


Books I'd Like to Read in 2011

A Sweet and Bitter Providence
A Portrait of Calvin
Family Driven Faith
Heaven at Home
Womanly Dominion
Somewhere More Holy
1,000 Gifts
A Charlotte Mason Companion
Respectable Sins
Understood Betsy
Dug Down Deep
The Vine and the Trellis


Things I Expect to See in 2011
Meeting my new nephew--the first child of any of my own siblings--exciting!
Katrielle learning to eat food, crawl, talk, and walk
Lots of friends and family in our home.
Opening our home to missionaries who are traveling through.


This year's motto for our home:
A place where words of grace are spoken.

Reeling

Things seem to happen in spurts for us.

All of our friends going to college with us.

All of our friends getting married too.

All of us having babies.

All of us having more babies.

And statistics say, that whether Christian or not, 50% of couples will divorce.

So, 7.5 years into marriage, when people supposedly get "itchy" we are beginning to see families crumble.  Three couples so far in the last year.  One close to us.

What do you say to a friend whose whole world has fallen apart?

I ponder these things as I go about my day, tormented.  Grasping to understand.  Feeling the pain of the little ones involved.  Trying to imagine the upheaval.  Praying that God would work.  Snapping at my kids only to realize it's my devastation seeking an outlet.  Wondering who I can talk to.  When a person dies...it's appropriate to share the news and offer comfort.  But it seems like gossip to share the news of the death of a marriage.

The death of a marriage.  I never thought it could happen to them.

My "Good King Jo" and I grieve together.  Talk things over for a long time, in shock.  Not usually a cuddler, I find myself inching closer to him in bed and grabbing his hand as I fall asleep.  Thinking about how I can show him how much he means to me tomorrow, this week, this year.....this lifetime.  He's a blessing I often take for granted, especially in these tough days of mothering little ones.  I need to know we're okay, even when the world around us isn't. 

I smile thinking about the goofy ways my other friends' husbands show they love their wives.  Facebook statuses about their wife's "hotness" or a birthday cake that took $30 of ingredients and several hours for him to make her.  Suddenly these little displays of love mean so much.

I pray.  I call.  I offer what little I can, the equivalent of a toy shovel in an avalanche.  She cries as she thanks me.  I cry too.

The road ahead is hard.

But, God is good, and He is at work.  I cling to the hope that just as He saved my parents' marriage, He can save theirs too.


*Out of respect for my friends in these difficult situations, I won't be disclosing personal information or names here so please don't ask.  This post is just an outlet for my grief.*

Christmas Company Re-Cap

The visit with my husband's family for Christmas was okay. And I'm not even kidding!!! There were lots of toys, good food and conversation, cousins who never see each other getting to bond and play all day, getting to know our little nephew who is now 1 and exploring and celebrating together. All in all, in spite of the fact that Katri would not nap at all while company was here and was up a lot at night, I have to say it was the best visit I've ever had with my in-laws. I planned extremely simple meals and took short-cuts wherever I could (store-bought rolls, muffins, pies, veggie trays, shredded cheese, etc.) and my sis-in-law and mother-in-law helped out as much as they could. My mother-in-law almost always does dishes 5 times a day when she visits and she cleaned up after every meal this time so that was a blessing, as were the stacks of paper plates we went through!

After the typical visit with Josiah's family, I end up feeling extremely angry with my kids and like a failure of a parent. Part of it is the fact that the kiddoes get really excited with having or being company and the long drive to MN probably plays into it, but they have usually been on their worst possible behavior around Josiah's folks. Which stinks a lot because his folks were super strict with their kids and don't recall their kids ever acting that way. I think my kids sense my nervousness and act up even more around them.



But other than Ali thinking she was crowned the queen of all the cousins and ordering them around left and right (anyone have tips on making a kid less bossy?) they were pretty great and Jer has stopped whining so much (something I've noticed in the last few months and have been delighted about and was also pointed out by my father-in-law). They got to show more of their true colors this time. And it turns out our nephew who we thought was perfect and who has never misbehaved one iota in our presence does have a sin nature and throw tantrums and fits, and fights with his brother just like our kids! What a breath of fresh air it was to see that! I love him all the more now! And he has a really strong-willed little brother who is just like Ali at that age--delightfully cute and extremely smart but with a mind of his own! So the playing field has been considerably leveled for us at family functions. (Even as a baby our nephew barely cried.)



I actually came away from this visit thinking it would be fun to get together again with Josiah's family and also having an incredible appreciation for my kids. My kids are wonderful! My kids are flexible! My kids are servant-hearted! They were so anxious to see their cousins they were willing to do anything to be accommodating. They told everyone we saw in town, strangers or not, about their cousins coming and they talked about how they would share all their toys. Ali gave up her room and drew pictures for all of the guests to put on their pillows. Jer was eager to show his cousin who is his age all of his favorite things and he likes him so much that even when cousin was biting him, playfully but still painfully, he said, with a smile, "That's okay, he can do that!" (We'll work on boundaries later! I'm just so excited to see how open-hearted my kids are!) My kids sleep anywhere, whether in a car or hotel room or different room of our house, travel well, and don't have to live and die by the schedule. They have a routine but it can be flexed at any time for Christmas dinner or a special playdate, or having company, etc. We've lived so many places and had so many varied experiences in their young lives, including them each having 3 siblings, that they are really easy-going kids. And I love that about them!


I can't help but think that the worst is behind us. Every visit will get easier as kids get older and better at self-control and all the cousins are beyond napping stage. I will never have to host another visit while pregnant or in the newborn phase. I did the best I could and I know if I can survive that, I can survive anything!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

We are so glad that in a world of uncertainty and hopelessness, God is our rock and a fortress and takes care of us. We are so thankful for our wonderful family and friends too! May you find your hope in Him!

Family Fun

In June we went to Salt Lake City for a mini-vacation and took the kids to the zoo.

Ali had ballet and soccer in the spring and she loved both!

The kids enjoyed swimming in their little swimming pool nearly every day of the summer.

One of our traditions is letting our kids choose a theme for their birthday--even if it's a simple, family event. This year Ali had an Angelina Ballerina party, Justus had a Semi-Truck cake and Jeremiah had a Snake Birthday.

Hard Things

In May, my Grandma B. passed away at 69. She was my last living grandparent and it's just hard to believe she's gone.

We all caught the stomach flu in early March and the nausea didn't end for me until late-May. I get bad morning sickness, which makes life very challenging.

We moved. This is the 6th home we've had in 7 years of marriage!

Our county had lots of flooding this spring when the snow melted rapidly and flooded the local river. Our community pulled together to sandbag and help one another.

Most of September and October we were in a "quarantine" of sorts as chicken pox made its' way through all of the kids. We caught a stomach flu before and after the baby's birth.

New Baby

Katrielle Hope

"God is my crown and my hope"

We had always wanted to have 4 children and Katrielle Hope was the most wonderful surprise of 2010! She made her entrance into the world on October 28th and was 7#, 7oz. and 20 inches long. I had a complete placenta previa with the pregnancy and was told I would have a C-section and had some restrictions. However, the placenta moved out of the way at the end of the pregnancy and I didn't have to have one!

Katri loves to be held and snuggled and gets lots and lots of attention from adoring big siblings! Her sister summed it up for all of us when she said, "I just can't stop loving her!"

School and Kids

We're official homeschoolers now that Alathia is in Kindergarten. Going to AWANA (a kids' club at church), coloring pictures, cleaning the house, playing with friends, swimming lessons, and reading easy books are her favorite things to do. The boys do some activities and crafts with her, but they would rather play with their trucks than learn letters right now! Jeremiah, who is 4, loves snakes, sharks, dinosaurs, and bugs and is always asking to read books about them. Two-year-old Justus loves to help hold the flag for The Pledge and he always ends with a huge smile and points to himself as he says, "with liberty and JUSTICE for all!" The boys love to play with monster trucks, sword fight, wrestle and jump off of things!

Kid Funnies

My kids are always asking me what happened to the dinosaurs.

Jer came up with this theory, "I think they are all in Minnesota."

One of my mom's students said, "Mrs. B., I accidentally stepped on a worm on the sidewalk. And I felt sorry for him so I stomped on him and sent him home to Jesus so he wouldn't have to suffer."

While getting ready to swim Justus exclaimed, "Naked!
Naked!" Then when I put his trunks on he shrugged his
shoulders and said, "Where'd naked go?"

Justus: "Snakes grow on trees. Does water grow on trees too?"

Justus: When I get big I'm gonna go to Goof Group (Youth Group).

Jer: Does chicken come from elk or deer?

When asked why he had hit his brother hard in the forehead with his wooden slingshot, Justus said, "He's Goliath!"

When learning and practicing a new Bible verse from Proverbs Ali said, "Apply the brakes" instead of "Apply my heart to instruction...."

Ali: I'm feeling like yelling all day and being sassy all day long."

On naming their little sis: Jer liked: Spider, Snake, or Cute and Justus liked Crocodile and Carrot. When we told Justus he would be getting a little sister, he said, "No! Not sister...a dinosaur!"

Ali sighed and said: It's so hard to have a brother...a whiny, snotty brother.

Thanks to Grammy, my kids think "rootbeer" ends in float. I was trying to explain that rootbeer is just a type of pop. Ali said, "Oh! Okay! Rootbeer is pop just like Jesus is God!"

Ali glanced at my plate as we sat down to eat lunch and
exclaimed, "My, my, my! How much can a pregnant woman
eat?"

Jeremiah scarfed down his treat and then turned to his sister and begged her for half of her treat. She refused, so he said, "Ali, God wants us to share."

Ali informed me that she and Jer have 6 or more kids. I said,
"Wow, you must be busy parents!" She replied, "Yeah,..
the only time we get a break is when our kids go to bed!"

Jer couldn't remember the term chicken pox so he called his spots "Chicken pot pies, Chicken bites, or Chicken Pops."

New Home

With 3 kids sharing a small bedroom and another baby on the way, we were anxious to find a larger place to live. As we searched the available real estate in our town it quickly became clear that anything remotely in our price range would not be big enough for our family and would be a major fixer-upper. But God can make a way where there seems to be no way.



*The house that someone else was buying.

*The only house in our town in our price range that was big enough AND not in the worst neighborhood in town.

*One of the dirtiest, smelliest houses ever!!!

*Our "dream house" with 2,600 sq. feet, a 2 car garage, 5 bedrooms, a basketball court, playhouse, sandbox, garden area, and fenced backyard--more than we ever thought we'd have!

*A home that appraised much higher than the selling price even while very dirty.



These phrases describe the house that God eventually gave to us in an amazing turn of events. When our realtor called and told us this house was ours if we still wanted it, it was an unbelievable and emotional moment. Later, someone said, "How could anyone deny there is a God after seeing Him so clearly provide this house for you?"

In order to get the appraisal to go through Josiah had to spend many, many hours putting primer on the exposed wood around the house and garage. Before we moved in, he also had to rip out all of the carpeting and paint the floors with KILZ. Friends from church came for a cleaning day and my mom and I spent a few days deep cleaning. After over 250 collective hours of cleaning, we moved in. Josiah spent every spare moment getting the outside of the house repainted before the weather turned cooler. His family was able to come out and helped us do a lot of painting for a few days in August. He also had fun ripping out overgrown brush in our backyard with a Bobcat. We still have much to do but for now it feels like we are living in a mansion and we love having our own place!