Thursday, June 11, 2009

Yard Sale Deals

The yard saling last Saturday was red-hot! A big church sale, Shop-a-holic Gal's sale, and several other good sales with kids' items. I found the 4 main things I was looking for: nice summer shirts for Ali, a couple of summer shirt for myself (one Land's End, one a new long T), carpenter work pants for King Jo (5 pairs for $1.25 in just the right size, saving us a minimum of $100 this year which we would have spent for him since his job is hard on pants and his tall, thin build is very hard to buy for), and a car seat booster for Ali since we're moving all of our kids up carseat-wise.


6 like-new T-shirts for $3 for my girl! I was so excited to find some T's that didn't have snotty sayings on them and were actually modest since those are rare indeed for girls 4 and up these days. The nice gal I think of as Shop-a-holic Gal does yard sales 2-3 times a summer and must do it as a way to make money (or else has a spending problem) because she always has about nine 6-foot tables full of children's clothing (rows and rows of organized stacks, most of it like-new) and lots of shoes and toys that are new-in-the-box. I love her sales and have been outfitting my kids from her sales for the last few years in addition to hand-me-downs!

This cute duffel bag is perfect for Ali to stash her toys/blankie/sippy for our road trips.



A little pair of girl Robeez for 50 cents (which went to Havily since I have been too lazy to make leather shoes since Justus was born). The darling baby girl onesies and headbands are brand-new but I got them for a quarter. They will go into my baby gift stash. If you've ever wondered how I can instantly whip out a baby gift for someone that looks like I spent $50, this is why!




Jeremiah says he wants ANOTHER racecar birthday when he turns 3. He likes racecars that much! So, this mylar balloon for a quarter was a great find!


This door organizer for the kids' room was a freebie since Shiloh didn't sell it at our own yard sale a couple of weeks ago. It's perfect for organizing all three of our kids' socks, Justus' baby shoes, tights, belts and ties, and swimsuits.


Our yard sale went really well and I think we all turned the bulk of our junk into cash. As usual, I ended up buying or inheriting half of my friend Shiloh's stuff. She has such nice stuff and low prices, I love it! In fact, as her husband unloaded an adorable white cabinet out of his van, I purchased it and he said, "I told Shiloh that you'd probably take this immediately!" They know I have a fascination for organizational things and that cabinet happens to be a perfect homeschool supplies/book shelf that fits nicely in my closet and makes my newly cleaned closet even cleaner! $5 for a 3-level cabinet/shelf system that looks barely used! Someday I may remember to take a pic of it just to show you all!

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Frailty

In my youthful zeal I said, "I will suffer for You Lord!"
Hearing stories of those who have suffered deeply
I long for the intimacy with the Lord that they have
Their perspective is set on the eternal.
I had pictured "big things" like giving up houses and lands to move to a mud hut
Or staring into a gun for my faith
Or being diagnosed with a terminal illness
But, in the smallest of daily sufferings in my fairly ordinary life
I have found myself woefully unable to suffer...
Apart from the grace of God and His Spirit's working in me.
For when the baby cries in the middle of the night and I just want to sleep,
Or my preschooler fights me all day long
Or my toddler messes in his pants
Or when a friend rejects me
I feel like it is too much to bear.
This is my prayer
I am so frail and weak O Lord. Strengthen me that I may be faithful when I am called to suffer. May I see every pain and longing, discomfort and hurt, small suffering or big suffering, as an opportunity to find my treasure in You, my God.

A Couple More Thoughts from Guys

Jesus says in the Sermon on the Mount: "...everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart" (Mt. 5:28). Men should not look at women lustfully. Women, Christian women especially, should do everything they can to help their Christian brothers NOT sin.

Anonymous Guy, age 30.


Is it the women's responsibility? Yes, we all have a responsibility to not cause another to stumble. The Bible is clear on that. The fact is that as a pastor, I deal with ladies that struggle with lust too. The lusting that they do is not necessarily physical, it is emotional coupled with physical, coupled with care and needs being met. Seeing a guy washing windows or carrying water in for the water cooler can trigger a female to lust. So what is the guys responsibility for that situation? Likewise, for women, in the statement, "women...should do everything they can to help their Christian brothers NOT to sin..." does that mean wearing burkhas so that the lustful man cannot see anything...what about the guy who is turned on by the eyes the most? Yes, modesty has its place in all of us and it shows that there is something different about us. We should not dress like the cover girls do because they don't even look like that

See: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_v_azJv50KQ.

So then we have to ask the question, "How should a Christian look?" Our society has distorted beauty so much that men are turned on by women in burkhas and ladies are turned on by the water delivery man. Matthew 5:28 makes us all guilty and that was the point of Christ saying that. It was true for the people of that time too. You cannot tell me that David fell after looking at Bathsheva only once. Have you ever thought that he maybe looked at her several times bathing and would go to that spot to bath often and he engaged in voyeurism on several occassions before flirting with her and then fornicating with her? The idolatry in his heart got the best of him. The point of modesty is to not be "intentional" about causing someone to be drawn to our appearance. There needs to be something else that causes people to look at our person because they see something different in our disposition.

"For he grew up before him like a young plant, and like a root out of dry ground; he had no form or majesty that we should look at him, and no beauty that we should desire him." - Isaiah 53:2

So if Christ showed modesty in his appearace to this earth, we should to the same, but that means to not over emphasize our features, but rather to emphasize our dispositions to loving our neighbor as ourselves. So we should love our brothers and sisters in Christ enough to not cause them to give into their idolatrous minds and assist others who are chosen to see Christ in our lives...not by braided hair or fine jewelry, or mini skirts, or bikinis, or any outward showiness.
Anonymous Guy, age 35.

Monday, June 8, 2009

Modesty Monday--#24

Thoughts from the Guys:
These are opinions from Godly men. I may or may not endorse them, but I thought that they would be helpful for us to consider.

Modesty is important. It is difficult for me to respect a woman who dresses immodestly especially if they are Christian. For me it is frustrating to see those called to Christ not separate themselves from the socially wrong. Granted that viewing the clothing online and on TV one would think immodest clothing is the normal, but we are called to something higher. Yes you can do it and not necessarily be wrong, but it really comes down to how others view you. In general, those around you might think less of you. Both the saved and the unsaved can see when something is not in alignment. Modesty dove-tails the message of Christ. It demonstrates the purity and holiness God expects from all those who KNOW Him. For example, imagine what you would think if you saw Dr. Dobson drinking. Would you think any less of him? Would you question the validity of his ministry? You might not see any harm in it, but others might start to question his intentions. As a Christian, you never want to have your message be questioned, and dressing in a manner that is inappropriate brings unneeded questions to your walk. Maybe not with your friends or coworkers, but others out there might start to wonder about your example even when no questions are warranted.
Anonymous Guy, age 27
The way one dresses is a personal and cultural issue. I have spent the last few years of my life traveling to many different countries in the Americas and I can tell you from experience that each culture has different standards for what is and isn't appropriate. These standards may or may not have anything to do with modesty. This includes different perspectives within the global christian community as well. I believe there is much personal freedom in the way you express yourself through fashion within God's word, however there are also some clear guidelines that must be followed. The debate shouldn't be centered on the "blame game" or an intellectual shifting of responsibility between whether it is the man's or woman's responsibility to define modesty in the context of gender sex drives. Rather the issue is one of glorifying God. Paul writes clearly in the New Testament about not arraying yourself as a prostitute (in the cultural context). If people are seeing you as a "loose" woman because of the way you dress, you are not glorifying God. If they way you dress so matches the fashions of a sub-culture that is anti-God and others are confusing you (a daughter of God) with the world, you are not glorifying God. Dress to make yourself look beautiful and do so in a way that is personally gratifying, culturally appropriate and God honoring.
Anonymous Guy, age 24

Modesty Monday--#23

More thoughts from men:
These are opinions from Godly guys. I may or may not agree with them completely.


For me, modesty falls under the category of Transformation. I will start with a preface and then explain more later. When the Christian church was beginning to state its purposes after the reformation in the 16th century, they asked the big questions. Martin Luther, when asked what is this life all about, said it was about, "Coram Deo". A latin phrase for being always before the face of God. This is how we are to live our lives. Christ even told us to Seek First His Kingdom and righteousness. To do what is right and seek to be in the presence of God. Subsequently, we are also to live in this world (physical) but not be of this world (following the systems of the times). The Germans have a great term for the systems of this world that they call "Zeitgeist". It is translated, "spirit of the times". Niche, the atheist philosopher, even recognized that people should not be following the zeitgeist and he was looking for the "ubermansch" or Super Man. One who was in this world, but did not conform to it. Christ prayed in John 17 that even though we were in the world and we were called to Christ, that we were not to be taken from the world, but to be helped in this world. So if we are to be in this world, but not of it, how do we not do what the world does? The danger here is that we can pull away from the culture all together, leaving us totally isolated and miss the opportunities to witness to others who are in the world. We can look at the Essenes who wanted to search for the Messiah so much that they pulled themselves out of the world and hid in little caves by the dead sea...they missed Christ all together because they separated themselves from the world. Modesty, if taken to an extreme, can separate us from the world. Covering one's whole body is removing yourself from the world and puts up a separation for communication to take place. We have all seen the Muslim women in their complete coverings and it basically says, "I don't want to talk with you" (see http://preciousmodesty.blogspot.com/2007/11/islamic-clothing-dubai-abayas.html). On the other end of the spectrum, we see the nudists who do not have any modesty. This also says that they do not want to communicate with you and puts up a wall of separation. So where is the middle ground? Paul exhorts us in Romans 12 to practice the following when it comes to Coram Deo: "I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect." - Romans 12:1-2

We see two words in Paul's instructions about this matter. Conform and Transform. The word "Con-form" is translated, "With Structure". In other words, following the structures of our society. Paul is saying here that the structures of this world are not what guide our thoughts, attitudes, and beliefs. It is the Word of God. The Supreme Court does not make our decisions for us on how we are to seek righteousness, it is only to govern this land. This also can go for the systems of "trends". The "trends" of this world should not tell us how we are to live, but the Word of God should direct us. Coupled with that, Paul said that we are to be transformed by the renewing of our mind. The word, “transformed” is translated, “above and over the systems”. So here is where we can talk about modesty for a moment in light of this passage. The transformation of our modesty comes when we set our virtues above that of the world's virtues. I believe that modesty is a virtue, but it is not the only one. Virtuous living follows the patterns of righteousness. Righteousness is right living. For us to be above and over the systems of the world does not mean that we alienate ourselves from the world (as a culture), but that our virtues go above and beyond that of the world's. Do we do what is right even if it means we sacrifice our time and money to do it? Do we do what is right if we give when others are hoarding? What is different about our character that others are seeing there is something different about us besides just clothing? So modesty, yes, is a virtue, but like all virtues, it must be placed on the spectrum of too much or too little. Does our modesty take us out of the world all together, or does it bring us into the world, and through our other virtues, people see Christ in the “whole package” of our being as we present our bodies as living sacrifices? What I am asking then, is modesty the only virtue that we offer the world as setting us apart or do we expose our compassion, benevolence, service, hospitality, sober-mindedness, etc. with others? Modesty should be a part of our sanctification and house the very truths of God within us to be exposed to all the world.

Smart Anonymous Guy, age 35



I don't think that dressing more modestly will solve the world's problems with lust, but I do think that it helps significantly. I struggled for years with lust issues when I was in high school. As I entered college and was battling my addiction, I appreciated women that were respectful enough to dress appropriately. This was a huge help for me, as it has been for many men. I have talked to several men since those days, that have had similar struggles, and I know modesty is something each of them can appreciate. Whether it be walking through a grocery store line, or down a busy street, a man has to always keep his guard up. All that said I also agree with Smart Anonymous Guy, that there is a balance. I am not suggesting women need to be covered from head to toe, but I think it can be pretty clear that the way "cover girls" dress is not appropriate, and does not help men keep pure thoughts. I know for my girls I will be teaching them the great importance of dressing modestly!

Anonymous Guy, age 30

Modesty Monday--#22

Thoughts from the Guys:


I asked some Godly men for their opinions. These are opinions--please understand that I may not endorse everything said here.


Here are three of their responses:


Modesty is a very important part of the Christian walk. I have two reasons for this.First and foremost, as God commands us in Proverbs, modesty must be observed. Being that God knows what is best for us, it is a must to observe his commands. Women (or men for that matter) that do not practice modesty in their dress can often fall into deeper problems, such as the opposite sex lusting after them or viewing them as a sex symbol. This in turn may provide an avenue to which the person falls into deeper sexual sin. Second, modesty must be observed because it promotes the image of Jesus. The body of a woman was created by God and is beautiful, and should be viewed that way. Women who dress poorly show that their body is really only a sex object. And that body is made for their husband--not for other men to flaunt over.

Anonymous Guy, age 22


Modesty is very important. Both for women and men. Not dressing modestly on either side can make a challenge for someone who is struggling in the area of lust. Both men and women need to dress in a modest way to help their Christian brothers and sisters in their walk with Christ. If someone is struggling with lust, then seeing someone not dressing modestly or flaunting their stuff or whatever, creates a stumbling block for that struggler. Dressing modestly is also a way of being an example and showing that we as Christians are different. When people see that you dress well but not showing everything off they may notice it and ask you whats up. This could be used as a witness tool, but at the very least you did not create a stumbling block for anyone in that way. We are called to carry ourselves better as followers as Christ and we cannot follow the crowd.

Anonymous Guy, age 18



Modesty is great, but....who gets to define what modesty is? Last time I checked, God made clothing out of animal skins for Adam and Eve. It doesn't say whether those animal skins were field mice or elephants. Modeling a Christian lifestyle is so much more than modeling your wardrobe. Are you modeling your quiet time with your kids? Are you modeling how to be a teacher for other young Christians? Are you modeling how to truly present yourself and everything that makes you, you, as a living sacrifice to God? Are you modeling true worship? The whole, "What Not to Wear, Christian Edition" is best served with being replaced by Godly leaders in our churches who model a lifestyle that glorifies God. Clothes aren't the problem.

Anonymous Guy, Age 30

I agree some with Anonymous Guy age 30's point of view. If guys are struggling with lust, modesty is not going to stop them from lusting after someone because of clothing. Lust is Idolatry and goes deeper than just clothing style. If a girl's ankles are showing a guy that struggles with lust will find a way to lust. Can modest girls never wear shorts? If guys struggle with lust and are drawn to women's legs, modest shorts are not going to stop them. Clothing does not make one struggle with lust, but the intensity of the un-modesty makes the levels of lust rise. Just beware that we can not solve everyone's issues by our dispositions.

Anonymous Guy, age 35


More thoughts from guys coming in an hour!

Modesty Monday--#21


We were created to make much of God by enjoying Him eternally.


We are most fulfilled when we are making much of God.


Dressing in respectable clothing is a way of making much of God.



Therefore, the Christian woman who dresses immodestly



ROBS


HERSELF



(Mrs. Jo)

Modesty Monday--#20


What About Modesty in Weddings?




Pastor Todd's thoughts from this great article


Ladies, please don’t forget to apply these principles of modesty to formal events and weddings. In recent years, I have become increasingly grieved by the immodest dresses of both brides and bridesmaids at the weddings that I officiate. I have observed a number of young ladies in our fellowship who have dressed modestly all their lives appearing on their wedding day in extremely provocative dresses, exposing more of themselves than on any other day of their lives.
I assume the best about what is going on in the hearts of these young women. I don’t think that they went to the wedding dress shop determined to be provocative. No doubt, they just wanted a dress that would be elegant on this day that they have dreamed of all their lives. When a bride and mother set out on their expedition to find a wedding dress, they are, quite naturally, thinking like… women! Unfortunately, there is no one in the shop who is thinking like a man! I’d like to make a radical proposal, girls. Why not take your father with you to the wedding boutique? If that thought is just too much for you (or your Dad!) at least consider taking the dress out on approval and allowing your dad to see it before you make your final purchase.



A Beautiful Site for Modest Wedding Dresses where above photo was found:

http://www.beautifullymodest.com/





Modesty Monday--#19


What would one discover about your heart if one met your closet before meeting you?
(Janelle Bradshaw quote)

Modesty Monday--#18


Modesty is propriety. It's a desire to serve others, particularly men, by not provoking, or promoting sensuality.




Immodesty is much more than wearing a low-cut top or short skirt. It's pride on display by what you wear.






Self-control is in a word, restraint. Restraint for the purpose of purity.




Are you on campaign for your own glory when you are shopping or are you looking for clothes that will bless your brothers?





Sometimes we are ignorant about how men think and we selfishly just want to wear what we want to wear with little thought of how it affects others. But sometimes we do dress to catch the eye of men. Guys lust and girls want to be lusted after.




Modesty is a way we can make much of Jesus with our lives.




We have an opportunity every day to proclaim God's glory in what we wear.




There should be no contradiction between the clothes that we wear and the Gospel we represent.



Janelle Bradshaw

Modesty Monday--#17


When considering what is modest and what isn't, here are some helpful resources:








The Modesty Survey by Alex and Brett Harris




The Modesty Heart Check specifics on how to guage your clothing's modesty in American culture





While it's very important to ask your husband or father to evaluate your wardrobe, that may not be enough. My own dad and my own husband at times have okayed things that other men might have struggled with. I like the idea of asking not only the man in your life, but also a godly woman mentor or girl friends who are committed to modesty to evaluate your wardrobe.

Modesty Monday--#16


When it comes to modesty,
what are your daughters learning from you?
(Notes from the sermon, The Soul of Modesty)

Modesty Monday--#15

A Question to ask yourself on Sundays:
Was there a man who arrived for worship today desirous of worshiping God who found himself distracted by you and your body because of the clothing you were wearing?

Modesty Monday--#14

Do you understand that there are deeper issues that need to be addressed in a woman's heart and life before worrying about her wardrobe?
Do you interact with those who are immodestly dressed?



Do you warmly show love to them?
Are you humbly distinct from the world or self-righteously distinct?
"Let this be a church populated by the uncoverted dressing immodestly and warmly welcomed into our midst. I also want this to be a church where the newly converted, the immature, and even the mature, if immodestly dressed, would be cared for and lovingly corrected."
C.J. Mahaney

Modesty Monday--#13

Image from : www.forestry.com

There is always room for growth in modesty.


Where do you need to grow?

--------

Perhaps you need to examine your wardrobe and have your husband/dad and your modest friends critique it. Is every single outfit you own for wearing in public modest, evidencing self-control?
--------
Perhaps you are proud because of your modesty. Do you need to repent of your pride/self-righteousness in the way that you dress? Do you look at others with an attitude that says, "You need this message. You need to be more modest."
--------

Perhaps there is a friend God wants you to lovingly speak to about modesty but you have refused to because of the fear of what she would think of you.
--------
(notes from the sermon I linked to in post #1)

Modesty Monday--#12


God calls His people to good works.
The way we dress is a good work.
What are you noticed for?
What are you known for?
What is most eye-catching about you?
Your clothing...
or....your character?
Do you spend more time in front of the mirror or shopping for yourself or more time serving others?
(notes from The Soul of Modesty)

Modesty Monday--#11


"When I see a young lady dressing immodestly, I see it as a
FATHER FAILURE.
Doesn't he care enough to protect her from the lustful eyes of a man who will devour her
ALL
DAY
LONG?"
C.J. Mahaney

Modesty Monday--#10

Whose attention do you desire when you get dressed?
Friends'/Peers' attention?



Photo from: http://www.josbank.com/IWCatProductPage.process?Merchant_Id=1&Section_Id=4596&pcount=&Product_Id=206400
Mens' attention?
or
God's attention???
Your wardrobe is a statement of your public and private motivation.
What statement do your clothes make about your heart?

Modesty Monday--#9





DO YOU TAKE GOD TO THE GAP?

Is your shopping for clothing informed and governed by modesty and self-control?

(notes from the sermon The Soul of Modesty)

Modest Monday--#8

What does a Biblical woman look like?
She is....
Modest
Self-controlled
Wearing respectable apparel for her culture
(notes taken from the sermon I linked to in post #1)

Modesty Monday--#7


What is the intent of your heart?
What are your motives in the way that you dress?
To show the grace and beauty of womanhood?
To call attention to yourself?
To flaunt your beauty?
To allure men sexually?
(notes taken from the sermon I linked to in post #1 today)

Modesty Monday--#6


Who inspires your dress?
The Godly women of Scripture or cultural celebrities?
(notes taken from the sermon I linked to in post #1 today)

Modesty Monday--#5




3 Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— 4 but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious.

1 Peter 3:3-4
---------
1 Timothy 2:9 Likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire...


These verses are not saying that braided hair is a sin or it's a sin to wear jewelry, but rather that one's clothing shouldn't be extravagant, showy, revealing, or sexually enticing. The dress described above was an identification with the wealthy or with prostitutes in that time.
(notes taken from sermon I linked to in post #1 today)

Modesty Monday--#4

Who is Modesty For?


Modesty is for:
Our brothers in Christ
(helping them in their struggle against lust)
Those yet to be saved
(a sign of the transforming effect of the Gospel in our lives)
The Savior who redeemed us
(in obedience to His word)

Modesty Monday--#3


Modesty = Humility expressed in dress



Immodesty = The absence of humility, a show of arrogance; wanting undue attention for yourself


(notes taken from sermon I linked to in #1 today)

Modesty Monday--#2



A woman who loves the Gospel won't want to detract from it in how she dresses.

Her

attitude

and her

appearance

reveal her

allegiance.

There is no contradiction between her profession and her practice as a Christian.

Modesty Monday--#1


Modesty is about the heart, not the hemline!



Respectable apparel is the fruit of a godly heart. Your wardrobe is a statement of your public and private motivation. If you profess godliness, your motivation should be to be distinct from our culture.

Why does modesty even matter?
Because of the Gospel.
Modesty is about the Gospel, the Good News that Jesus came to save sinners.
The transforming effect of the Gospel is in a woman's modest heart and actions.





From my notes taken from the sermon "The Soul of Modesty" by C.J. Mahaney

Sunday, June 7, 2009

MODESTY MONDAY

Join me tomorrow as I do something I've never done before on this blog! I've scheduled posts to publish every hour on the hour on the subject of modesty. That's a lot of posts! I hope they will be a blessing and an encouragement to you on an issue that is very important.

Saturday, June 6, 2009

Havily's Shower






Havily on her rag quilt. This is the only kind of quilting I do. This was my first rag quilt with a name on it. It was fun to make!



The back of the quilt is all purple




My first attempt at making the sundresses my friend Tracy did a tutorial on. One for big sis and one for little sis. See my link to this tutorial on my sidebar.





Orange bubbles on this side






So cute!







Kennedy, Ali, and Lindsay had so much fun together (and Reagan too though she isn't pictured)




Shiloh's sister, Sydney, gave her a spa kit that smelled wonderful!

Mommy pampering!



Sweet little L'anza takes a turn holding Havie Sue




Feigning surprise at the cool wooden block Laura gave her with all of Havily's birth stats on it. (Laura gave us one for Justus too when he was born--so cool!) Shiloh knew about this gift since she provided the birth stats!





Mommy, I'm hungry!

I didn't get pics of the guests, or of Jenny who did the shower with me, or of the games, or of the adorable hoodie towel with her name embroidered on it made by friend Lora, or of the luscious berry pound cake Jenny made. Oops! Too busy soaking in the sweetness of this precious new little one!

What's Up Next!

Later today I will be posting pics from Havily's baby shower which I am busy preparing for right now! Should be a fun time! I'll post pics of the gifts I made for her too.


In the meantime, I have decided to make Monday MODESTY DAY next week so be watching for a dozen posts (one publishing every two hours) with thoughts on the whys of modesty. In my Modesty and Moms posts I assumed that most of my readers would know why it's important to be modest. I also realized that many of you may not take the time to listen to the excellent sermon, The Soul of Modesty so I've decided to put my notes from that sermon into my Monday posts. Stay tuned!

Have a great weekend!
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