Sometimes I get to thinking about a home of our own. I can't wait to plant a fancy garden with all kinds of herbs, vegetables and fruits (if they'll grow!) I can't wait to decorate and paint and make my home a haven of beauty and rest. A place where the children can run freely outside and have plenty of room in the house to stay out from under my feet. It gets tiring to share one washer and dryer among 17 people, even though I have the advantage being the only stay-home adult here. It gets tiring to always be the only one raking and doing yard work only to see the neighbor kids constantly littering garbage all over and using our outdoor chairs and swing roughly. It does get difficult with the noise and lack of privacy in these close quarters. At times I get very, very claustrophobic since we only have one window in our whole apartment that leads to the outside (the rest show into the pantry or breezeway in front) and our A/C unit is in it!
When I'm starting to get discontent I have to remember the little farm house we first lived in when we moved here a couple of years back. There were mice (my deathliest thing I'm afraid of!) and it was ice cold in the winter and oh so lonely out there with only the cows and a long drive into town. We had much more work to do with chopping wood and stoking fires for heat and we had to ration water. Living in a clean, warm, mice-free apartment that's only 2 blocks from our bank and grocery store isn't so bad! While my neighbors can be overly "present" in our lives, I am thrilled when they come over bearing tamales or flautas or the latest thing they've cooked. I have gotten them to babysit on a moment's notice in a pinch and their company and their culture is refreshing. Who else's neighbors in America today have time to sit outside in the evenings and chat?
I have learned to be very disciplined about getting my laundry done at a certain time when the facilities aren't in use and I have learned to set boundaries and be strict with the neighbor kids which I know they respect me for. While we are outgrowing this tiny place, I think if I succeed at keeping this place clean and homey I can do it just about anywhere! I'm thankful that we have a space of our own, however humble, because it is more than most people have. We don't have to pay when the water heater breaks down or the plumbing goes awry, and we can use as much water as we want since it comes free with the rent. We have lived in a dark, dank, cold, and strangely decorated basement in a very rough town durning our summer as missionary interns and nothing could be more depressing than that! So, I will cheerfully enjoy these days here until God leads us to the next dwelling. I rejoice in the friendships I've made here that might make an eternal difference in my Mexican neighbor's lives and I am thankful to be sheltered from the hot western sun!
2 comments:
For the most part, the advantages of having your own home outweigh the disadvantages. And if you ever do have your own home in our area someday, I know of a great Handyman who can fix just about anything!
oh my, Lindsey, I almost could have written this myself because it is so similar to how I feel sometimes! (minus the Mexican neighbors and some other stuff, it's quite similar:)))
Anyway, I recently told my husband that I am really getting tired of dorm life and that that was fun in college but not anymore! Really, our apartment building is like a dorm where people come by all the time and stay and stay and stay. Now I definitely am not opposed to company, mind you, but when I am in the middle of cooking supper, chasing a little one out of all my cupboards, and trying to stop my older one from drawing on the wall, then it is not a good time! And my neighbors just happen to not take hints! I was doing about five things at once awhile back (which is not at all uncommon in our line of work, is it) when one of my uninvited neighbors stopped by and sat down at my kitchen talbe and read my paper and chatted like she could just sit there all day. I wanted to scream and pull my hair out!
My mom finally got tired of hearing about what I put up with that she made and sent me a sign to hang on my door that says, "we are busy." However, I felt that was kind of rude because I am too nice and have a hard time saying no and so I put up my own sign which sounds a little friendlier but still says we are busy.
So the whole point of all my ramblings here is that I CAN NOT WAIT until God blesses us with a home of our own where we have some privacy and a yard for the girls to run in! To be able to come and go without all my neighbors looking out their windows and keeping track of my daily activities. I sometimes feel like my girls are so deprived for not having a yard to run and play in and to be packed in like sardines and have hardly any living space.
However, on the flip side, I would like to say that God has made it very clear that he put us in this building for a reason and I could tell you all kinds of stories about how we've seen God work amongst our neighbors and given us opportunities to show His love. And that is great! Now, I will turn off my lights so my neighbors know not to come by so I can go to bed. :)
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