Being His En Gedi in Bed

Our first kiss on the lips at the altar on our wedding day. We practiced the dip, without the kiss, beforehand. It was well worth the long wait!

If you were hoping for something juicy you will be disappointed! I'm not going into detail on this one (after all, my Grandma, my mother-in-law, my brother, and our youth pastor read this blog and there are some things that shouldn't be shared!) but I will provide you with some very good links to sermons/talks on this subject. Meeting your husbands' sexual needs is biblical (1 Cor. 7:3-5) and a great way to refresh and encourage him and provide him with En Gedi (Song of Solomon 7:3-5).




Listen to Carolyn Mahaney's gracious talk, "Sex, Romance, and the Glory of God: What Every Christian Wife Needs to Know." She covers Grade A Passion using the 5 A's: Being attractive, available, anticipatory, agressive, and adventurous.





Yet again I will put a plug in for Mark Driscoll's series on the Song of Solomon, "The Peasant Princess."





Some questions from Driscoll to discuss as a couple:


On a scale of 1-10 how am I doing at loving you outside of the bedroom?


How can I do better?


On a scale of 1-10 how am I doing at loving you inside the bedroom?


How can I do better?





Other notes from Driscoll's sermons:


Sex IN MARRIAGE is for:


*pleasure


*unity


*comfort


*procreation


*spiritual warfare





Great Teaching on Sex:


The 2004 Desiring God National Conference "Sex and the Supremacy of Christ."





This area of marriage is an arena to learn to practice unselfishness. It would seem that in most couples I've heard of there is one person who tends to be more passionate than their spouse. Don't make the mistake of assuming this is always the man because many a wife suffers from deprivation. The spouse with greater desires has to learn to compromise by not demanding to be together as much as they'd like and the less passionate person has to find the oomph to be passionate a bit more than they'd prefer. As Driscoll says, "Marriage is not for our happiness, but our holiness."

If you are in the habit of depriving your husband, perhaps there are deeper issues that need to be solved. If your husband has a porn addiction or you have been abused in the past or you are hurting one another with your own selfishness outside of the bedroom then these things need to be dealt with in order for you to be En Gedi sexually for your husband.

If you struggle with fatigue in caring for young children Carolyn has some good advice in the talk I linked to above. One quote from her talk, "If the baby has kept you busy all day feed him peanut butter sandwiches for dinner and give him great sex afterwards, and he won't complain."

Sex is a very important part of creating En Gedi for your husband. Temptations abound in our world today and in taking care of his needs in this area you will find yourself blessed too and you will strengthen your marriage against the schemes of the devil.