When considering what is modest and what isn't, here are some helpful resources:
The Modesty Survey by Alex and Brett Harris
The Modesty Heart Check specifics on how to guage your clothing's modesty in American culture
While it's very important to ask your husband or father to evaluate your wardrobe, that may not be enough. My own dad and my own husband at times have okayed things that other men might have struggled with. I like the idea of asking not only the man in your life, but also a godly woman mentor or girl friends who are committed to modesty to evaluate your wardrobe.
There are all kinds of men...
ReplyDeleteI think if your dad and husband are Godly men, and they approve something, I kind of think that is enough.
There is a point of being obsessive about your wardrobe.
I agree with you 3 22nds that we don't have to be obsessive. But sometimes guys are very oblivious to how other guys may look at things. Sometimes friends can be an added boost of discernment here.
ReplyDeleteYes, all men are different. So, your hubby may say no to something most guys would say is modest and your hubby may say yes to something most guys would struggle with. You would think it would be true that if our husband or father is Godly, we probably won't have to ask for other opinions. But I wonder why then are there so many immodestly dressed women who do have Godly husbands and Dads? Are the men not saying anything or are the women not listening? If immodesty weren't a huge problem in my Christian circles, I wouldn't have felt the need to bring this topic up. Since it is, maybe we need to go the extra mile and get women involved in evaluating friend's wardrobes?
Another reason that it may be good to seek "outside" opinions is that we kind of become used to our family members. So, maybe a Dad would overlook something since he's not looking at his daughter in the way he would notice a woman who is not his baby girl and maybe a husband, who is used to seeing his wife in her birthday suit, might okay something a bit revealing because he likes how his wife looks and enjoys her body.
This is where a trusted friend comes in. Ask her, "Would you want your husband to look at me in this shirt/skirt/dress, etc.?"
Kinda creepy - asking your friend if she'd like her husband to look at you in a certain outfit.
ReplyDeleteWhat's creepy about asking that? I would love if my friend would ask, "Would you want me to wear this shirt around your own husband? Would it be a distraction to him?" I'm not saying she literally should try her clothing on for my husband, but ask ME if I would be comfortable with her wearing them in public. It's just a matter of asking, "Is this showy? Is this going to turn men's heads? Is this going to be a distraction to my Christian brothers, one of whom may be your husband or brother, brother-in-law, etc.?"
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