The Rules of a Toddler

I got this from Miss Jenny, Ali's preschool teacher. It's so true! She got it from Parents Helping Parents of WY, Inc.

The Rules of a Toddler!

If it is on, I must turn it off.

If it is off, I must turn it on.

If it is folded, I must unfold it.

If it is a liquid, it must be shaken, then spilled.

If it is a solid, it must be crumbled, chewed, or smeared.

If it is high, it must be reached.

If it is shelved, it must be removed.

It if it pointed, it must be run with at top speed.

If it has leaves, they must be picked.

If it is plugged, it must be unplugged.

If it is not trash, it must be thrown away.

If it is trash, it must be removed, inspected, and thrown onto the floor.

If it is closed, it must be opened.

If it does not open, it must be screamed at.

If it has drawers they must be rifled.

If it is a pencil, it must write on the refrigerator, monitor, or table.

If it is full, it will be more interesting emptied.

If it is empty, it would be more interesting full.

If it is a pile of dirt, it must be laid upon.

If it is a stroller, it must under no circumstances be ridden in without protest. It must be pushed by me instead.

If it has a flat surface, it must be banged upon.

If Mommy's hands are full, I must be carried.

If Mommy's in a hurry and wants to carry me, I must walk alone.

If it is paper, it must be torn.

If it has buttons, they must be pressed.

If the volume is low, it must go high.

If it is toliet paper, it must be unrolled onto the floor.

If it is a toothbrush, it must be inserted into my mouth.

If it has a faucet, it must be turned on at full force.

If it is a phone, I must talk to it.

If it is a bug, it must be swallowed.

If it doesn't stay on my spoon, it must be dropped on the floor.

If it is not food, it must be tasted.

If it IS food, it must not be tasted.

If it is dry, it must be made wet with drool, milk, or toliet water.

If it is a car seat, it must be protested with arched back.

If it is Mommy, she must be hugged.