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Have you ever felt like there was reverse peer pressure in your world?I do!
Peer pressure is often thought of as pressure to fit in through being popular, modern, cool, beautiful, or talented. Yet, it can appear in subtle forms, even among adults, and in a variety of circumstances. In my circle of life, if I tried to look trendy and "fashionable" I would get a lot of raised eyebrows and comments like "must be a city girl" under the breath. People in our area are plain and simple and all about what's practical and comfortable.
If I wear a skirt that's 10-20 years old or "pioneerish" I get rave reviews at church. Brownie points if it is from the thrift store or has some western flair to it! The stereotypical homeschool-mom-denim-jumper would be totally "in" here. But wear something modern/trendy and folks will think you are vain, silly, or are squandering your husband's money.
Whether it's real or imagined, or just among my Christian community I do not know. I do know that like attracts like so perhaps simple folks are drawn to being my friends because I prefer simplicity too. And at my church, the women are more likely to be cattle ranchers, rock climbers, or backpackers than they are to read fashion magazines or care about trends.
I just think it's strange that I feel "safer" and more "accepted" the plainer my clothing looks.
Where have you experienced peer pressure in reverse?
I don't mean this in any way against you or many of your readers who also happen to be my friends, but...
ReplyDeleteI have felt the reverse peer pressure idea in regards to being frugal. I look at the way many of my friends are shopping frugally, and if I go and buy something at full price, I feel guilty about it because I'm not being as frugal as I should.
Yes, I do buy many things without coupons. *Gasp!* But I have just learned that I cannot compare myself to other mothers because there is so much danger in that, even though it is so easy to do.
At our house we call it "reverse snobism" or "poor snobs".
ReplyDeleteAt least, that is what my husband calls me :)
I wish I lived by you, Lindsey! Where I am, it's the opposite. I'm proud of what I find at Goodwill and Salvation Army, although they still are trendy clothes.
ReplyDeleteWhen reading your blog, I often wished I lived where you are :)
Good thought Kristin! Some gals have no desire to coupon and that's okay as long as you live within your budget and aren't comparing yourself as you mentioned! I don't buy everything with coupons either! I do try to shop the sales, but sometimes what I need isn't on sale so we get it anyway. I know some folks prefer to shop all generic at WalMart instead of couponing and it's simpler for them to figure out (especially if you hate grocery shopping as I know you do). However you shop, as long as you are staying within your own budget, that's what counts!
ReplyDeleteDon't worry about us "frugal zealot" friends who may do things differently. We all have different gifts. One idea: While your best friend may score 100 freebies a month, you could make a mean loaf of banana bread and offer to trade her some baking or babysitting for some of those items. And then you would both win!
Phoebe,
Since I didn't see a blog with your name, what state do you live in?
I don't think there is reverse peer pressure. I think there is just peer pressure, and it can take on any form or direction.
ReplyDeleteIn some groups the pressure is to wear hip clothes. In others it's to drink too much. In others it's to go to church twice a week...or else!
Peer pressure can be good for Christians because it makes us responsible to our community. But it's also poisonous if it become pharasitical, legalastic and starts to redifine what being a Christian means.
Me? I hate clothes and only wear them because of peer pressure. At that point, I'm happiest in a T and jeans.
And yeah, I got socked a little when I did the congregational prayer once in jeans and a button-up shirt. :)