Dear Mommy of a Strong-Willed Toddler....

Alathia took this Valentine Card from her Grammy for Show n' Tell on her special day at pre-school.
Alathia helped me make bread the other day and made a whole loaf all by herself (except some help with measuring ingredients) from start to finish.

Eating a s'more while dressed up like a princess fairy at a friend's house.

Dear Mommy of a Strong-Willed Toddler,

Here is a message of hope for you. When you have a strong-willed child, some days are unbelievably overwhelming and discouraging. No book seems to have answers that work. People around you shake their heads and say, "Wow, I never expected you to have such a naughty kid" or "She's the strongest-willed child I've ever seen in my 55 years...." Few understand the depth of what you go through since public behavior is often different from private behavior at home. You are humiliated, angry, and always second-guessing yourself. You are tired of your child pushing other kids down constantly, disciplining what feels like every minute of every day, trying to keep your active toddler from killing their newborn sibling, and are feeling a little bitter about parenthood. This wasn't how it was supposed to be, you think inwardly. You pictured a little girl playing daintily with dress-ups and tea sets, not screaming at the top of her lungs and throwing toys like a tornado!

I'm here to say that there is HOPE! I've only made it 4 years into the journey but there is a huge, huge difference in my child compared to where she used to be and I am so excited about what our coming years together hold. I have grown so much and learned so much and most of all, have seen that consistency does pay off even if it's 2 or 3 years down the road. AT 4 years old, my daughter isn't remotely perfect (but neither am I!) but she has become a delight and a joy to be around! I would have never imagined I would hear her preschool teacher say, "She's NEVER been in time-out once!" just a couple of short years ago. And though it felt like an eternity going through it and I cringed thinking about the teen years, I can honestly say that things have improved SO MUCH that I know we will get through them and I have hope that God will see us through.

So, don't lose heart. Rely on God and know that though parenting is always hard, and there are always issues of training and dealing with sin, that the toddler stage with strong-willed/spirited kids doesn't last forever. After what felt like endless training and no sign of results in sight, I can now say my challenging child is no more difficult than my compliant child. There are still struggles, fights among them, and attitude issues as with any child, but she is normal now instead of being about 50 times more challenging than other kids. My girl is continually helping me out with different projects, mothering her little brothers and taking care of them under my oversight, and loves to please. She enjoys memorizing Scripture, praying, and learning about God. She tackles projects with enthusiasm. I know that she will be a leader and will be incredibly strong and committed in what she does and won't be easily influenced. She loves being given tasks to do independantly. She is such a blessing to our family and I can say that now with a real smile and without whispering..."sometimes.."

God bless you and be with you in the toughest job you will ever have.

Love,

Mrs. Jo