The Gentle Mothers Support Club

My best advice of the week:

Go to http://www.familylife.com/ and click on Audio archives or recent broadcasts and listen to Ginger Plowman talking about these subjects on the radio programs this week:

*Disciplining With Love

*Scolding-An Angry Response to Misbehavior

*Dealing with Whining, Tattling, and Sibling Rivalry

*Avoiding Traps of Ineffective Discipline

*No More Whining

These programs are really encouraging and since I had a little extra grocery money this week I'm planning to order her book, "Don't Make Me Count to Three." I will let you know what I think of it when I get it!

I have had a very difficult week being gentle with my daughter. I sometimes feel like I will never experience a day where I don't fall into scolding her endlessly minute after minute, hour after hour. Especially on days like today where she refuses to nap and tries every trick in the book to stall bedtime and comes out of her room and when she finally falls asleep 2 hours past her bedtime awakes screaming at the top of her lungs twice and sleepwalks around the living room!

Sometimes I feel like I just don't have any idea how to deal with her personality. Sometimes I am overwhelmed and angry that she makes life a constant battle. Sometimes I am envious of others whose little girls look like darling little obedient angels who wear frilly frocks and delight to be "Mama's Little Helper" and are gentle and lady-like even at a tender age. Often, both my husband and I ask the question, "Why? Why do we have a child who causes us such weariness and exhaustion? What did we do wrong? How did she get like this?" I don't want all of my blog readers and friends to think Alathia is a horrible, wretched child, because she isn't. I don't want people to assume she is mentally ill. She's not always bad. But she is difficult and messy and exhausting even if she isn't being defiant or trying to be naughty. She tries to be a helper, though 9 times out of 10 it backfires and is the opposite of helping. She knows every possible trigger to get my emotions going like a steam engine and seems to delight in doing so!

I know there are parents out there who understand and know the struggle between loving a "spirited" child and delighting in so many aspects of who they are and knowing they are extremely intelligent and yet being frustrated to no end with the day-to-day challenges of dealing with their demands, energy, disobedience, manipulation, and battles.

While it's going great with having 3 kids so far in general (see my posts on Three 3 and Under) I don't know if I will ever be able to say that dealing with our daughter is easy. Three years of endless reading, studying, praying, talking with others, and still I feel like such a novice in dealing with her. I feel like I could have a dozen boys with personalities like Jer and Justus and not be as weary as I am from dealing with this one little girl. But I trust that God gave us this little one for a reason and He will be our strength in raising her and He will use her unique gifts and talents for His own glory.

I continue to press on toward the goal of being a mother who practices gentleness in all her ways. I fail continually but continue to "get back in the saddle." Who's with me this week?