You Have 2 Kids if:

You Must Have Two Small Kids If:

1. You secretly wonder if someone has snuck in and kidnapped your brain cells because you are so distracted and forgetful at times.

2. Your biggest concern for your second is that they make it through infancy without being killed by the older sibling.

3. Remember the days of feeling for breath under the firstborn's nose? Remember lying awake and wondering if your baby was going to die of SIDS? Now, you don't have time to worry. As soon as your head hits the pillow you are out cold.

4. The baby needs to scream for 20 minutes straight at the highest decible possible to rouse you from your sleep for a feeding.

5. You get more done than you did when you only had one kid. Ever heard that saying, "The more you have to do, the more you get done?"

6. Your conversations with friends are endlessly choppy. For example, "So, how was your (Ali, let your brother go!) vacation (Jer, don't put that in your mouth) last week? (Ali, stay close to mommy!) Did you (It's okay baby!) see your (Ali! Get in time-out right now and apologize to your friend) family while you were there?" If your friend happens to have a couple of kids, the conversation is even choppier! Or....

7. You've learned to talk over any and all noise. My mom marvels at how on the phone I can talk over screaming, whining, yelling, howling, etc. I'm so used to it all day and so grateful for a chance to talk to an adult at times that I don't want the conversation to end just because the kids are being their normal selves! What's a little background noise? Doesn't distract me anymore!

8. It seems faster to walk to the grocery store than to take 2 kids in and out of carseats. It helps that we live only a few blocks from either grocery store in town too!

9. You have learned to function very well with little or no sleep and continual fatigue. Don't think that if your kids are good sleepers you are immune! One will ALWAYS be sick, have a bad dream, be teething, be startled by a loud noise, etc. so you will frequently have interrupted sleep and can't catch up on it in the day if you have a toddler. Also, your toddler will frequently wake the baby or vice versa no matter how much you guard them like a crazed grizzly bear to protect your sleep.

10. You've learned to let a LOT of stuff go. So what if the baby eats his crackers off the floor as long as it is relatively clean? Other kid sucked on your baby's sippy? No big deal, his sister does it all the time.

11. You are very relaxed about the whole milestones/development stuff and don't even have time to read "What to expect the First Year" this time around. As long as the second kid looks mostly healthy and the doctors/nurses aren't concerned, you aren't either. You've learned to enjoy the stages rather than rush them.

12. You compare your kid's constantly (not in a bad way) but in typical conversations. "Ali was a better sleeper. Jer is a better listener." "Ali was 20 pounds at this age. Jer's only 19.9" "Ali was crawling by this age." "Jer thankfully isn't a biter like his sister."

13. Your love has multiplied so that you can love each child immensely, unbelievably, and equally and be thrilled to have these little blessings.

14. You have watched your kids hugging and giggling at each other and being friends in a way that warms the heart and puts a huge smile on your face!

15. You feel like a referee, always in the middle of a fight over a certain toy.

16. You are never without a kid on your lap or in your arms.

17. You feel like the Queen of No-No since you are not just saying it to one, but to two all day long and having to correct and train both of them.

I'm sure being a mom of 2 is NUTHIN compared to those of you reading this who have 3, 4, or lots more! But there's no denying that even the small number of 2 is a shocker compared to 1!

For more laughs, visit my post from back in April, entitled: You Must Have a Toddler If:

http://thekingsmissus.blogspot.com/2007/03/you-must-have-toddler-if.html